killer, m.clifford/a,irwin

12

"Can we all agree that I am the champion of Mario Kart?" I bragged, putting the wii remote down on my bedside table.

The doctor had come in to see me three hours ago and stated that although I was stable, and hardly in life-threatening danger, that it was in her "professional opinion" that I should stay in the hospital tonight, just so they could monitor me.

My parents hadn't been pleased but relented after awhile. They were currently back at home, trying to fix the house up for when I returned tomorrow.

Michael and Luke hadn't left my side, the latter even requesting a wii that we could play on. That's how, two hours later, the three of us were in the last run of our Mario competition.

"I still think you cheated." Luke claimed, throwing the wii remote carelessly onto the couch. "I'm definitely going to get a rematch later."

"Whatever you say," I cooed before leaning back against the pillow and glancing at both boys. "It's getting late." I pointed out.

Luke seemed like he wanted to protest, but in the end we both knew I wouldn't make him stay the night so instead he stood up and stretched.

"I'll see you tomorrow, little one." He smiled, bending down and kissing my forehead softly. Little one had been his nickname for me ever since he had his growth spurt.

"Thank you for coming." I said sincerely, hoping he realised how much I cherished his friendship.

"Anytime." He said seriously, before bumping fists with Michael and leaving.

"Are you sure you want to stay here alone?" Michael spoke up finally.

We had already discussed this. Michael offered to sleep on the couch, despite how uncomfortable it looked. I refused, not only because I didn't want him getting back problems, but also because I needed to be alone. I hadn't been able to fully take in the seriousness of Sydney's condition, nor the scenario I had found myself in.

"I'm not scared of the dark," I teased, running my hand through my hair absently before looking at Michael. "I'll be fine."

"Well, call me if you need me." He offered, standing up. He hesitated at the door and I wondered if he was waiting for a reply.

"Even if it's a 2AM?" I joked.

"I'll come running." He said without missing a beat. I waited until he left before I sunk down onto the hospital bed.

Luke and Michael's company gave me a chance to distract myself from the real issue: Sydney.

Somewhere in this hospital, she was lying on a bed similar to mine. The only difference between us was that I was conscious. I would wake up tomorrow. The same thing couldn't be said for her.

I wasn't surprised when my eyes began to blur with unshed tears. I hadn't let myself feel with everyone else around. I wanted to maintain a fake façade so they wouldn't worry even more about me.

However, this was my best friends life we were talking about. I didn't even bother reigning in the horrible, heart-wrenching sobs that racked through my body.

Tonight I let it all go. My emotions were finally unlocked. It all flew out the window with each tear I shed. I even found myself thinking about Ashton and how guilty I felt for not having thought of him since Michael's arrival. How I was relieved that I didn't have to constantly see something or someone and be jerked into a memory of him.

This life-threatening situation just brought me back to my dead boyfriend. Would things be different if he were still alive? I knew deep down that I hated myself for causing Sydney to be put in this position—to know I had scared my family and friends.