Up and Down's of Florida... (dnf)

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⚠️anxiety, swear words and fire near the end of the chapter, and beer⚠️

It had been days maybe weeks since I have seen Clay since last time we talked. We didn't even look at each other me and Clay haven't fully looked at each other in days. I really wish I didn't say what I did I said that because I figured Clay didn't love me I don't really know. Clay seemed happy though based off all the loud yelling and the jumping on the roof. Maybe it was the best bet maybe it made him happier without me maybe that big speech he made was all a lie. If that was a lie I would just be loving another lier another person who faked their love for me...

"Hey George" Karl knocked once on the door frame me lifting my head to meet his eyes.

"Hi Karl what's up" I snapped out of my thoughts of about what happened.

"If you don't mind me asking what happened to you and Clay he won't budge but I figured you would tell me" Karl walked into my room sitting on the bed legs crossed looking at me.

"Well if Clay won't budge maybe it's worth something not to tell" I said.

"Maybe but still I need to know" Karl said.

"Well why?" I was confused why Karl absolutely need to know he looked strict that wasn't like Karl he was usually bubbly and sweet.

"Because of Clay George" Karl stubbornly said.

"What happened to him is he okay?" My heart dropped I just had too know if Karl was okay.

"We're not gonna talk about that right now just tell me George I'm not gonna leave until you tell me what happened" Karl said in a serious tone which wasn't normal.

"Okay so me and Clay kissed as you saw then when Drista left we just did barely talked and when me and Clay decided to talk about it he asked if we rushed things and I said maybe"

"I said maybe because I didn't know if he loved me or not but when I said maybe he just left and went to his room and we haven't talked since" I said calmly sighing in regret.

"You must be joking you don't think he loves you George he gave you a speech he beat up a guy when he was being a honk" Karl said.

"I know I regret what I said I would do anything to take it back" I said in guilt.

"Well I'm not gonna tell you what happened to Clay but fix it" Karl said leaving the room.

I had to fix what I've done and fast...

I stood up walking downstairs moving each foot a step down until I got to the bottom of the stairs. I looked at the couch and I saw Sapnap and Clay sleeping next to each other Clay having his hood on his head laying down on Sapnap's shoulder. Clay was curled up in a ball his knees touching his chest his eyes were all puffy and red looked like he was crying for years. Now I realize what Karl meant when he didn't want to talk about Clay. And I realized how bad I messed up...

I rushed back upstairs and went to my room I got chilly from the fan so I went to my drawer and opened it and I saw Clay hoodie he gave me I ignored it and grabbed a different one and put it on...

"fuck" I whispered realizing what I've do him and fell onto my bed landing on the night blue covers.

I couldn't stop thinking about solutions on how to fix me and Clay's problems but it came out blank. I couldn't stop visualizing Clays red puffy eyes he looked terrible I guarantee he didn't sleep for days. I wish I could erase it all and say it never happened just it all could be gone...

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I knew Clay I knew he would just walk away if I talked to him I couldn't blame him though I was being an ass I can admit...