Why me? - Jamilton fanfic

Chapter 12

Tigger Warning: Mentions of self harm and depression

John POV

"Alex, are you ok" Laf asks.

"Yeah, Yeah, I'm fine" He wipes his face. I step back a little.

"Alex, have you been taking youre tablets?" I Ask. Alex looks down guiltily. "Alex... please, you know how important this is. We dont want you getting hurt and I know you dont want me to tell Washington but-" I say softly but he cuts me off.

"-I know, I know I just- I forgot today. please dont tell Washington" He says quietly.

"Mon ami, he should know, hes your dad and he just want to help you" Lafayette chips in.

"fine what are you doing here though?" He asks.

"Thomas came to talk to us. He explained what happened. I think you should give him a chance to explain" I reply.

"Are you sure? I mean Madison knows him better and it makes sense that he would do that" He asks unsure.

"Just listen to what he has to say, if you decide you want to break up with him well support you, but you should at least hear him out" Laf replies.

"o-okay... where is he?"

"In Laf and Hercs room."

Alex POV

I get up and start walking to Laf and Hercs room. When I get there, I knock on the door and Angelica answers it. "Alex, hey are you ok?" She asks.

"yeah, I guess Is Thomas here?" I ask.

"Um yeah, well leave you guys alone" She replies. Her Eliza, Herc and Peggy walk out. I walk in and lean against the bench.

"Alex! What are you doing here?" Thomas asks.

"John and Laf said if Im gonna break up with you, I should at least hear what you have to say first" I reply.

"I'm so sorry! I swear nothing he said was true! I would never use you! Yes, when I was still dating him, I joked about it and I said that I would get back together with him but that was ages ago. I love you more than anything and I would do anything for you. When he said that he didnt know I actually loved you." He explains.

"Then explain to me this, how the hell you went from hating more to loving me in like a day?" I ask.

"I never really knew you. When you came into my room after John cheated on you, I knew I just wanted to help you. I dont know how but I knew I wouldnt regret it. I promised I wouldnt hurt you or use you and I still intend to keep that promise. Lexi, you mean the world to me and I would do anything for you" He replies.

"How do I know youre not just saying that, so Ill forgive you. I know Washington doesnt give you special treatment so there must be something you want."

"I only want you. I promise Im not using you. I dont know what else you want me to say, I love you so much!" He begs.

"A-Are you sure?" I ask.

"Yes. I wouldnt lie to you, ever" He replies.

"O-Okay" I mumble.

"does that mean you won't break up with me?" He asks.

"Yes" He smiles and jumps up to hug me.

"I love you so much." He smiles.

"I love you too" He leans down and kisses me.

"Alex?!" Dad walks in and I quickly step away from Thomas "Are you ok? John and Lafayette told me what happened" He says walking over to me. He looks really worried, I feel bad.

"Yeah I'm fine, it's not that bad. They probably exaggerated." I reply a little on comfortable, I really don't want Thomas to find out.

"Did you put something over it to stop the-" I cut him off before he can say anything else.

"-Thomas could you please leave us alone for a couple minutes?" I ask.

"O-Okay" He says looking a little nervous but walks out.

"I'm sorry, I forgot he was in here. I just got worried" Dad apologises.

"It's fine" I reply. "And no... to you're question before. It wasn't bleeding very much" I mumble.

"Can I see" He asks softly. I nod and slowly roll up my left sleave. "I'm so sorry"

"It's fine, it's not you're fault" This all would have been so much easier if John and Lafayette had left me alone like I asked.

"It's not you're fault either. Alex I know you don't like asking for help but sometimes you need it. I don't mean that in a bad way but you need to know it's ok to let you're guard down sometime" He says. I just shrugs. "Come on, you should put a bandage over these" He sighs and walks into the bathroom then comes out with a bandage and starts putting it on my wrist.

"You don't have to do this" I mumble.

"What did I just say Alex!" He raises his voice a little.

"S-Sorry"

"No, no I'm sorry I shouldn't have yelled. I'm not mad. I just don't want you to get hurt" He apologises. He finishes me arm and I pull my sleave back over it. "I know this is hard for you, you shouldn't have to go through this. Have you thought about maybe seeing someone about this? Like a professional. Now I know you're almost 20 and I can't tell you what to do but I think it could help you"

"I-I'll think about it" I reply.

"Thank you. Is there anything else you need or wanna talk about right now?" He ask. I shake my head "Alright, you know my door is always open" He says and walks out. Thomas walks back in.

"Hey is everything alright? What happened?" He asks.

"Nothing, don't worry about it" I smile.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, Let's just go back to you're room" I reply. He nods and we walk out. When we get to his Room Madison is gone so that's good. He decides to skip his other class so we watch movies for awhile.