Why me? - Jamilton fanfic

Chapter 5

Trigger warning: PTSD, overdose, mentions of death and suicide

Thomas POV

Alex Gets up and leaves. Well I mean at least there's still some chance. I get up and walk back to my room.

*Later that night*

"ALEX?!" John runs into my room frantically, waking me up.

"What the fuck?! It's like 2am!" I yell.

"Where's Alex? Is he here?" He ask Clearly worried.

"No he's not, why?" He reply.

"Can't you hear the fucking storm outside?! His fucking brother died in a hurricane so he has PTSD I need to find him!" He yells.

"Omg! Where would he be?!" I exclaim.

"I don't know thats why I'm- Omg I know where he is!" He says. He runs out so I follow. I don't exactly know where we're going but I follow him anyways.

He runs up to the rooms that are reserved for the teachers and opens one. I see Alex curled up in the corner shaking. Me and John both run over to him.

"Alex, Alex it's ok, it's not real" John says softly. "You try" he looks at me desperately.

"What no I don't know what to do! I don't even know why he's here!" I protest "you've know him longer"

"Please try, he loves you he'll listen to you!" He begs.

"Alex? Alex please open your eyes, it's ok it's not real. Me and John are here" I say moving some of his hair from his face. he slowly opens his eyes, he's still crying and shaking.

He jumps into my lap and Buries his head in my chest. John sighs and nods then gets up and starts walking out. "John, please stay you know him way better than I do"

"If he really likes you he'll tell you everything you need to know" he smiles weakly and walks out.

"Alex, please wake up" I plead. He's still shaking "I wanna help you. I know you said you needed time but I-I love you" I whisper.

"T-Thomas?" He whispers "d-don't leave me" he sobs.

"I won't, I promise. Do you wanna walk about it?" I ask softly.

He lifts up his head and nods a little "w-when I was 10 my father left me my brother and my mum alone, we were already poor. Then when when I was 12 my mother died of a sickness we both had, me and my brother moved In my my cousin cuz the rest of our family ditched but then my when I was 14 my brother died in a hurricane that destroyed our home. Almost a year later my cousin committed suicide. My town raised funds for me to move to New York and I Got adopted my George and Martha Washington, they found out I did self harm so they took me to some specialist person and I was diagnosed with PTSD and Depression" he explains.

"I'm so sorry, I had no idea" I hold him tight. He continues to cry in my shoulder. I can't believe all that happen to him, he doesn't deserve any of it. He jumps when there's another crash of lightning. "It's ok, I've got you" I whisper.

"Y-you don't hate me?" He asks.

"No, of course I don't hate you! I love you Alex. I know you're not ready for another relationship but I love you and I'll wait for however long I need to. I don't hate you and I'm so sorry that all of that happened to you, you don't deserve any of it so I wanna help you in any way I can" I reply.

"John was he only person I've ever loved, he was also my first boyfriend. I-I don't want to get hurt again, I don't wanna be cheated on again."

"I would never cheat on you or hurt you. I won't leave you and I'll do everything I can to make you feel safe but don't hate John. I know he hurt you but he does care about you, he's the one that lead me here and he told me you needed my help. He just wants you to be happy so don't hate him" I assure him.

"Why me? Why do you love me? You've hated me since I first stepped foot here. Madison only left a month ago don't you still love him? I just feel like you're using me for something" He  say loosening his grip on me.

"Alexander look at him" I look him in the eyes. "I promise you, I'm not using you, and I'll never cheat on you or leave you or intentionally hurt you. I love you. I know you're still hurting from everything's that's happened but I swear ill always be here to support you"

"O-Okay" he says shakily. "I-I'll be you're boyfriend" he smiles a little . I kiss him passionately. He pulls away and hugs me tightly. "Please don't let go" he begs when there's more thunder.

"I won't I promise" I wrap my arms around him and lift him up to carry him to the bed. "Do you think you'll be able to get to sleep?" I ask. he nods but doesn't let go of me.

*the next morning*
Alex POV

I wake up and see Thomas asleep in front on me. I smile to myself but then frown, he knows all about my past. Why doesn't he hate me? Why did he choose me of all people to love?

While one thinking he wakes up. "Hey baby" he smile and I blush a little. He has a really hot morning voice not gonna lie.

"Hi" I reply. He laughs.

"You're so beautiful" I go even more red and try to hide my face. "Are you ok now? From last night? Is there anything I can do to help?" He asks.

"Yeah I guess I'm ok" I reply. I get out of bed. "I gotta go get ready, you wanna come?" I asks. He nods and gets up. I grab the stuff I brought here and we walk back down to our rooms.

I walk into mine and John's room expecting him to still be asleep cuz he doesn't have any classes today but he's not in bed. I love around but I don't see him. I shrug a figure he probably went to get a coffee or something.

I walk into the Bathroom to take my tablets when I get a Phone calls "Hello?" I answer.

"Alexander Hamilton? You're listed as John Laurens' emergency contact do you know him?" The woman on the other line asks.

"Yes, What happened?" I ask a little worried.

"I'm Sorry to tell you he was in a car crash early this morning, he's suffering from major head injuries and a few broken bones" She explains.

"Omg! I'll be there as soon as I can!" I exclaim and hang up.