Euphoria: Rue and Lexi

~13~

Rue's POV

Before I rode the bus to school this morning, I went to my mom's bathroom and "coughed". I open the medicine cabinet and grab the bottle of Tylenal. I haven't done anything since pancakes with Ali, and it sucks. Jules has made everything ten times harder, my mom has been up my ass, and to add to the list, I think I'm fucking in love with Lexi.

So yeah, life's been pretty tough, so why not take a little vacation?

I pour a small handful of pills into my hand and look in the mirror.

"Well, this is it, Rue. Four weeks sober and your about to throw it all away. Cheers," I whisper and raise my hand like I'm clanking a glass. I swallow the pills and catch the bus.

For the rest of the day, I was in a good mood with a little help. Lexi and I messed around in theater.

I really want to hang out with her again. Being close with her makes me feel better, but also brings some pain. Lexi is the person that I can't live without but is also painful to be around because I know that we can never be anything more than friends.

After the dismissal bell rings, I head out the front of the school and wait by the bike racks.

I watch for Lexi, and I finally spot her. Then I see Daniel (gross) run up to her and stop her to talk. 

What the fuck does he want?

I see him get closer to her and take her hand.

I look away, with my cheeks red with jealousy. Are they dating now?

A few seconds later Lexi runs up.

"Hey Rue!" she says cheerfully.

"Hey..." don't sound jealous. "I rode the bus so I don't have a bike," I didn't think of that before.

"Oh, you can ride on the back of mine."

Lexi hops on her bike. I take a deep breath and hop on the back. I wrap my arms around Lexi's waist with shaky hands.

I held her close and she began peddling. After about 10 minutes, we make it to the old playground.

"So what's so special about this place?" Lexi asked, leaning the bike against a tree. She looked around. There was no one here, no surprise. I hadn't seen a single person here for years.

"My dad used to take me here all the time when I was a kid," I said, sitting on on of the swings. Lexi walked over and sat next to me on the other swing. She took my hand in hers and gave me a look of empathy.

We sat in silence for a while.

"Do you ever wish that things had turned out different?" I asked. Lexi thought for a moment.

"Well, I guess I do, but I feel like we'd be different people than we are today," she replied.

"I feel like that wouldn't be a bad thing," I scoffed. If my dad didn't die, I can guarantee you I wouldn't be addicted to drugs.

"I think everyone thinks like that," Lexi stared at the trees, "but honestly, I like you just how you are."

I look at her, not really expecting her to say something like that.

"Are you being for real right now?" I ask.

"Yeah," she smiled.

You know what? Fuck it.

I quickly leaned in and pressed our lips together.

I remember kissing her for the first time, when I helped her prepare for that dance a few years ago. This feels exactly like that again.

I felt like my heart was going to beat out of my chest. It was as if all the air had been taken out of my lungs. Like all of my panic attacks combined into one.

Realizing what the fuck I've actually done, I pull away.

Lexi stared at me with a blank face.

Shit. I screwed up.

"I- I'm gonna go now...," I hurry and run. I run as fast as I can toward the mall.

"Rue!" I hear Lexi in the distance, but I was not about to turn back.

This was such a fucking mistake.

Okay I know this sucked, but trust me it's going to get better. I decided to pick this story up again, and I needed to end this quickly. I'm going to start writing from season 2 now. I'm planning on making this good, so pls give me suggestions.

Thanks for the support

-Riley