42. she leaned

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42. she leaned

As James held Rae's hand, leading her to the dance floor, she could feel herself being drawn more and more towards this man. He wrapped his hand gently over her waist, as she held his shoulder, or tried to.  If Rae knew that she'd be dancing with James, she'd wear the high stilettos she left behind. Because now she was going to have a strain in her neck from looking upto him.

He was just a little more taller than his twin, making her reach a little below his shoulder. Even though she was trying not to look up at his black dark eyes, she knew he was looking down at her. And not just him, she could feel a couple of gazes on her.

She glanced at Imane and Alex first, the former had a grin, the latter smirking and Imane winked at her. She then saw the amazed faces of Janet and Simon, both of them surprised yet smiling. And to Toast, she gave her deadly glare and he just gave a small bow.

'If this is uncomfortable for you, we can stop.'

Rae looked up at James, he was serious as he said that and she smiled.

'Are you always this polite?' She asked, cannot helping herself.

James smiled back, both of them swaying softly to the beautiful song in the background. 'Polite? I thought you considered me as rude?' He raised his brow, playing with her.

'I may have.' She shrugged, her feet in synch with how James led the dance. 'But, it's not my fault. You were rude. And you literally called my job a plaything, Mister.'

'Is it not?' He asked, purposely, acting confused.

Rae's mouth remained ajar for a split second, 'How dare you?'

James chuckled, his sweet smile making her feel so much better already. 'I apologize.'

'Apology not accepted. Next.' She chuckled, taking her eyes off him and glancing the room.

They remained silent for the next few seconds, Rae holding onto him as his woody scent enveloped her in a newfound comfort place. Although she wasn't looking up at him, she couldn't not ponder on the way his arms, his warmth made her feel.

James on the other hand was holding back from sniffing her beautifully woven hair, which comforted him like a bear hug on a low day. Everything about the woman he held was amazing, and now all he wanted to do was hold on.

'I was rude?' James broke the comforting silence, Rae looked up to him. 'And now?'

As easy as that question sounded, Rae was lost for words. She looked in those deep black eyes, at the messy hair falling over his forehead which she wanted to tuck and then at his lips, just an urge to feel them suddenly came over her.

She gulped, holding herself back and met his eyes again. 'Now?'

'Now.'

'Now you're just...' Rae said, hesitantly, something she never knew she had it in her. 'You're just...'

James waited for her to speak, softly holding her, and Rae's hand gripping his shoulder.

'I am just?'

Say something, Rae, her mind was pushing her to not be a dumb ass here.

'Okay.'

She didn't mean to but it came out that way and James's face fell, but he was too good in hiding his facial emotions to let it be shown. However, Rae could feel him stiffen a bit, hiding the slight hint of disappointment behind his smile and a subtle nod.

As they swayed for the remainder of the dance, Rae shut her eyes, mentally cursing herself for speaking exactly opposite to what she wanted to say.

The song ended and James got a call from what Rae heard was a work call and he excused her to go out, while Rae held her head, walking towards the bar.

She was the biggest idiot.

'How does it feel to be the biggest idiot?'

Rae looked at Toast, who was shaking his head in disappointment.

'What?'

'You said something stupid, didn't you?' He said, ordering shots for the both of them.

'I did not.' Rae said defensively, a little too loud. 'And don't you have better things to do than spy on me, Jeremy?'

This was the first time Rae had acknowledged Toast with his actual name and Toast gasped dramatically. 'I cannot believe you're acting like Sykkuno here. Backing off.'

'What?' She said, resembling a lot to Sykkuno's what. 'I am not.'

'You are, Rachel. You like him, don't you.' He teased, taking a shot of the vodka and forwarding one to her.

'I don't like him.' She was quick enough to retaliate, knowing that Toast knew her too well sometimes.

'What's holding you back?'

Different lifestyles.
Different careers.
Long distance.
Sykkuno's twin.

Moreover, whether he still liked her or not was still a question now.

'Toast, why are you here?'

'Because it's better to be here than with Scarra.' Scarra who was two seats next to them gave him the finger and Toast chuckled. 'And, since when did you start thinking?'

'What do you mean?'

'You know exactly what I mean.' He looked outside where James was talking on a call, and Rae looked back at Toast who shrugged.

Fuck the analysis.

She didn't need to think about all of this now.

She quickly gulped the vodka shot down and took a deep breath as she stepped outside, it was chiller and serene since the party music was just a little low in the background.

The moon shone a little brighter, no clouds in the dark sky as Rae watched James finish his call and stand across the railing, peacefully alone.

'Hey?'

He turned instantly, a small smile on his face. There weren't a lot of lights, just few dimmed fairy lights across the wall.

'Hi.'

She walked closer, the view from the top was amazing. The party was held on the highest banquet hall and the view outside gave a bird's eye view of the etched cityline. She comforted herself from the cold by rubbing her arms and gulped as she stood just feet apart from him.

'Sorry I got a work call.' He apologized, pocketing his mobile.

'I see. Is there anytime you don't work?' She chuckled, playing around with him.

He rubbed his neck nervously again, 'Pretty much never. Um, but I'm trying to balance. Holding onto what you said.'

She smiled, nodding.

'We should go inside. It's getting cold here, you'll freeze.' James said, smiling as he walked ahead.

'You're not just okay.' She broke the silence and James stopped walking, frozen as she spoke. 'You're more than that.'

James turned, decreasing the few couple of steps between them. 'May I ask what?'

'I hope you don't because I have no answer.' She said truthfully, as he stood towering her. She averted her gaze, holding onto his arms, James shifting closer, nearly enveloping her with his arms.

'I don't have an answer to a lot of questions in my head, I blank out. Especially when it's about you.' He let her speak, only holding her with his warm gaze. She met his eyes, 'All I know is, I just wanna,' She leaned in, her hands holding the hem of his coat, 'I just want to...'

But she couldn't finish it.

Mostly because James captured her lips with his, and Rae shut her eyes, standing on her tip toes, trying to not understand and just give in.

Fuck analysis, this was better.

_

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