Behind The Mask

Chapter 28

I look down at the piece of paper in my hand. It feels like years ago that I wrote it, even though it's only been a few weeks. Maybe not even a month. It's like time has been standing still, and going by at the speed of light all at the same time.

I slowly read through each number, trying to make sense of it, and yet nothing on it matters anymore. I don't care about half the stuff now that E.J. is standing by my side. Most of all, I don't care about number ten. I don't want endings. I don't want anything to end anymore. I just want forever to come, and to last for, well... forever. Every second, minute, hour, spent with E.J. by my side, fighting in the snow, dancing in the rain, laying in the middle of a field with the sunlight kissing our faces, until the world stops spinning, and even then I don't want it to end. Even then I want us to go on forever. But forever is a long time, and we still need to fit a lot in between now and forever.

"So... You need to make a decision Brody. What stays on the list? What goes? What does the future hold for you; for us?" E.J. asks, putting his hand over mine as we look out over the city lights, the cold wind tickling our faces as we tower over the ants below us where we are standing on the hotel balcony.

"I don't know. I had this plan. Well... I thought I had this plan. This plan to just do some things and then making it all stop. Making it end. And now, here I am, and I don't want anything to end, so it kinda makes the rest of the list seem a little bit pointless I guess," I answer as I draw a finger over each and every number on the list, wondering why I held each number so very close. Why each and every thing on the list was so important to me and now means less than nothing.

"Okay. What about you go and take a shower. I will take a bath. And after dinner with Cameron and Will we can look at it again?" E.J. suggests.

It's been days since I declared my love to E.J. Days of thinking back and forth where my life would go from here. Two more gay clubs later. Twice more of seeing Lady Lalaland perform to the crowds that seemed to adore her. Days of having a groupie following us in an antique Ford Anglia with a numberplate stating that he is POTR007, which he only leaves when we stop for meals and he can look into Cameron's eyes while sharing Harry Potter trivia which makes Cameron laugh and blow kisses at him. I would have never guessed that Cameron was such a nerd, but here we are as he holds on to every word making their way from the Wizarding World.

***

"So, are we gonna go and see him handsome?" Cameron tries to say through a mouth full of spaghetti.

"Who? What?" I ask, looking up from the pasta in my plate and trying to remember what the conversation had been all about. I have been out of it quite a bit. As much as I try, I can't help but being pulled back to the list that's now in my back pocket.

"Elijah. As in the Elijah! As in the most brilliantly somber, saddened soul who creates the most powerful sentences of macabre depressing literature," Cameron answers, looking over at E.J. as he smiles.

It's not like I have forgotten. It's all anyone has been talking about. The amazing Elijah. The brilliant author, and apart from seeing his face when E.J. is watching another interview of him on Youtube, I can honestly say I have no idea who this guy is.

"I have to admit something," E.J. says as he puts down his fork in his plate. "I've met him before. It was a while back. I gave him a manuscript. Something I wrote."

I could not help my mouth falling open.

"You write?" I ask as as Cameron interjects.

"What?! The!! Hell!!!" he screams, his Lady Lalaland voice coming through as he knocks over a ketchup bottle. "You have met Elijah! As in met him and spoke to him and had him read something you have written?"