Behind The Mask

Chapter 27

"I thought you left me there between those strange men!" E.J. almost shouted in my ear as he pulled me closer to him, his whole body wanting to be embraced. "And then there was this guy... At the bar. And I thought he was nice, but he wasn't. I saw you speaking to him earlier, so I though he would be okay, but then he really wasn't... He wasn't..."

As the words came from E.J's mouth, I could feel his body grow tighter in mine, his every muscle at attention, the words, almost sobs, flowing from him. The fear in his voice is like something you can taste. Something salty, and maybe sour. Something foul.

"Which guy? The guy with the suit?" I ask as I allow my fingers to stroke E.J's hair, holding him close, allowing him to push his face into my sweater.

"Yes... The guy in the suit," he said, and now he was outright sobbing. "He tried to... He tried to..."

But E.J. didn't need to relive what the guy had done to him. I could only imagine.

"Is anything wrong?" Will said behind me, finally having caught up with us.

"You bet your fucking ass something is wrong. That fucknut with the suit tried to put his hands on my E.J," I heard myself saying, my face growing hotter with every passing moment.

"Your E.J?" Will asks just as E.J. pushed out of my arms to look me in the eyes, the tears staining his delicate face.

"Yes, my E.J," I answer, looking E.J. in the eyes and nodding the answer to him.

"You mean..?" E.J. asks, his sobs stopping, but the tears still flowing.

"Yes fuck! I think... No, I know I'm not straight, and you are mine. You are my baby. You are the one I need to take care off, and I will make sure nobody ever hurts you again. That nobody ever puts their lustful eyes and greasy little paws on you."

I can feel myself shaking, my body out of control, my shaking hands, finding E.J's cold ones.

"I want you to be mine E.J. No matter what. I don't care about the past. I don't care if I will never be able to have sex with you. I don't care about any of that. I just care about the fact that I fucking love you, and I can't imagine my life without you. I don't even care about the fucking list I made, and that I want to die at the end of this trip, because I will give that all up. I don't need to feel the way I have been made to feel the last few years. I don't ever have to be some monster. Some beast thrown into the middle of the beauties. All I need is for you to love me back. That's all I ask," I say. Then, almost like from a movie I feel my body lowering me down on one knee, the cold road underneath my knee burning through my jean.

"E.J. I think I loved you from the moment I saw you. From that very first time they drew away the curtains in the hospital and you were there. You looked so small, but believe me, you made the biggest impact on me that anyone could have ever made. You turned my life around. Please... Please be mine."

The tears had stopped falling down E.J's face. His mouth was open, but no sound was coming over his lips.

"You're planning to die. I won't be able to take that away," E.J. whispers, the fog coming from his mouth because of his warm breath against the cold almost forming a wall between us.

"Maybe I never wanted to. Maybe that's why I brought you with me. Because I knew you were the one to save me. That as long as I had you with me I would never be able to pull the plug on myself. That with you near me I would never be suicidal again and I would never think about just ending it all. Because you remind me that beneath the face that makes people run in an opposite direction, I am still me. I am still Brody. You are the only person that makes me forget about what happened to me," I answer as I look up into his eyes, wishing that he will relieve me from the beating in my chest that threatens to break through my skin and my sweater and bare itself to the cold Canadian wind.

"Brody..." E.J. whispers, making me feel like my heart will stop if he says no. Making me feel that if his answer is a negative one the entire world can just as well stop moving, fall into space and get lost forever as it drifts slowly towards a space and galaxy that man has never heard off.

"Just fucking say yes!"

I turn my head around to see Will standing there, smiling from ear to ear. His hands pressed up against his cheeks as if he is gushing at what I had said.

"Just fucking say yes E.J! I am seriously fangirling here dude! If you don't say yes, I am getting on one knee and then I will be sweeping Brody off to some all night wedding chapel!"

And then a new sound breaks the air. At first it is soft. Then louder. Infectious. Making my stomach move in quick motions as the same sound starts to escape my mouth. Only then does Will's puzzled face move into amusement before small lines start to appear next to his eyes and he is laughing as well. Uncontrollably. Everything bad about the night forgotten. The answer to the question not mattering anymore as E.J. finds himself on the road next to me, his hands long not looking for mine anymore as he holds his stomach as if it might try to escape him through his bits of laughter.

"Seriously! If you don't want him, I'll marry him!" Will laughs as he reaches out for E.J, and before long they are in each others arms, laughing, trying to hold each other upright and get to their feet, forgetting about my sides hurting as I try and comprehend what on earth is happening to me.

What should essentially be a serious and important moment has turned into a laughing show that not one of us seems to be able to recover from.

"Why are we laughing?" I choke after another few minutes of laughing.

"Because he wants to marry you," E.J. gasps in my general direction as he tries to make his way to the sidewalk.

"What's so funny about that?" I can't help laughing out.

"Because he doesn't know you. He thinks you are a knight in shining armour, while we both know you are an asshole wrapped up in tinfoil," E.J says before bursting out in laughter again at his own bad joke.

"So you're saying no? Does that mean I'm getting married to Will then?" I ask, my laughter starting to disappear as I realize the seriousness of the situation and the fact that E.J. can still say no, or just leave me hanging.

Within a moment all three of us go silent. It feels weird as I can hear the wind sweeping the street, and I can almost make out the crackle of the cold in the air. As if even the earth is waiting for E.J. to voice his answer.

"You're not getting married tonight Brody," E.J. whispers. "If anything I should at least save you from an impulsive deed like that. And let's be honest. You're not really his type."

"And what would my type be?" Will asks as he moves in closer, making me crawl the last few spaces to sit next to E.J. and allowing Will to tower over us.

"You're type strikes me as the type that's been kidnapped and been hidden in your hotel room while you try and tell dear Daniel Radcliff, while being tied up, that his name is in actual fact Harry Potter and that his life as Daniel is just some memory spell the Ministry of Magic has put on him," E.J. answers, trying his best not to break out in laughter again.

"Seriously dude... It's like you've known me all my life. Maybe I should be marrying you," Will says with a huge smile on his face, no doubt thinking about what it would be like to have the real Harry Potter all to himself.

"You're such a nerd," I whisper to Will before I turn my attention back to E.J. "So that means you are saying yes?"

"It means you don't have to marry him. But also that I am not yours, but you can be mine if you want," E.J. says and then looks away, up the street as if there is somebody walking in our direction that only he can see.

"So that means we're together? Like together-together?" I ask, just to make sure. I almost feel like pinching myself for extra reassurance.

"It means you are my asshole in tinfoil," he says as he slips his hand into mine before he stands up and pulls me up with him. "Now, Lady Lalaland will be wondering where on earth we are. And she'll never be able to find us if she searches for us through that long, fake, pink lashes of hers."

"Oh my word... Dudes! Seriously!? Like, seriously? You two know Lady Lalaland? As in for real?" Will asks, falling in step with us as we start to make our way back to the club, hand in hand. "Is she just as funny in real life?"

"Dude," I answer. "We will introduce you okay? But just so you know, I don't think she's into impromptu weddings at the moment."