Thank You For The Venom

Chapter 20

I breathed deeply as I snuggled into Shaun’s side. The desire of lust still continued to pump through me. But by the look in his eyes, he knew I wasn’t enjoying it as much as I did before. Sinj’s words were still at the back of my mind. How Shaun doesn’t love me. I know I’m stupid to believe it. But it’s true, he can’t love me. He just can’t. Shaun’s fingers ran through my hair, all I could hear was his breathing as the thoughts continued to accumulate my brain. I looked up at Shaun to realize he was staring at me, his worried eyes shot through me and I smiled slightly, just to make him to believe I’m okay. I mean, I feel better, full and satisfied but then there’s that heartache that happens to appear at the thought of Sinj and Shaun, together. No, I just...I don’t enjoy it at all.

“are you okay?”  Shaun asked, I just stared at him. He couldn’t read my thoughts, but he could read my eyes.

“I know you’re upset about what happened to your mum. But you had to tell her to leave-“

“Shaun” I said stern, he stopped and looked confused.

“what?”

“I told her that we’re moving, to London” I bit my lip anxiously.

“oh no, you can’t do that!” Shaun got out of my bed instantly.

“why not? I needed an excuse to get her away” I said, pleading to myself that Shaun wouldn’t act out.

“because she’s a local around the area Andy, this means we’d actually have to move. You can’t just do that” He continued, he sounded annoyed by my choice of words. I watched him get his clothes on at vampire speed.

“why not? I can’t just let her down saying I never want to see her again, Shaun, she’s my own mother!” I got out of bed now, putting my clothes back on, going to Shaun with vampire speed.

“Shaun, I love you but telling her that was the best thing I could come up with” I looked in Shaun’s sapphire eyes. He seemed very annoyed by everything I did lately.

“what now then? You want us to move? Move me away from my family, our friends, the band. No Andy, I can’t imagine moving from here for a second!”

“would you do it for me?”  I asked, it came out as though I was pleading.

“No, we aren’t moving. At all. You are going to go to tell your mum to just stay away. I don’t care how hard you find it” Shaun’s voice was darker now, he grabbed his phone and wallet before walking out, I followed.

“Fine! I’ll move without you” my husky voice yelled, I was starting to get upset now. I wasn’t going to tell my mum to just fuck off. Shaun leaned into me, I hitched my breathing.

“fine” Shaun whispered, I felt my heart jump to my throat. Shaun stood up straight.

“Fine! Go fuck Sinj, don’t expect me to be here in the morning” I shouted without thought, I saw the fire flare in Shaun’s ocean-like eyes.

“oh for fuck sake Andy. That’s it. I’m gone!” Shaun bolted to the door.

“Just use me for sex then leave. HA! Fucking typical” I yelled, bolting after him, he shot me a dark glare, I just glared back.

“Goodbye, Andrew” Shaun walked out and slamming the door, it rung through my house almost as if it was a gunshot. A creek immediately appeared near the handle of my white, old wooden door. And that my friends, is how I fuck up every relationship I’ve ever been in. I instantly fell to the floor, resting against my mahogany dining table. What have I done? I’m a fucking mess, why can’t I just not be jealous, hopeless and pathetic. My heart of stone was cracking again, I just wanted to cry. My lips were quivering as I held my sobs back, my knees were held to my chest. That venom stung my eyes again. I closed my eyes tight, a liquid substance made it’s was down my cheek, it stung more, kind of like acid, just more mild. I wiped it off, looking at my hand. I actually cried. I cried, venom? It was more white than clear. Definitely venom. I sighed, my breathing was shaky. I wonder if I could kill Sinj, or if he’d kill me. Either way it’s a win, win. I could hear my phone ringing, I sighed and ran to my room, answering my new shitty Nokia that was on my bed side table.