My Heart Belongs To You

Do You Miss Me?

August

I knew that talking my problems out to the whole world with Angela Yee would have people judging me but I didn't give no fucks, I needed to get all my emotions I had inside me bottled up out in order to have peace with myself and forgive myself for letting go Aaliyah. Also I needed to get The Product III: State of Emergency out and the videos that I had visualized out of my mind and done right. I knew that talking about Jada would bring less attention to what I am doing but yet again I don't care, I know and she know what happened. Its not about me though its about this project that I been working on for years that I finally had the time to do. I lost a lot in my life and I am trying to fight to get most of it back, to forget and forgive the rest. Nobody knows what I go through and they couldn't take a walk inside my shoes so what better way than to educate them. It felt like a big weight was lifted off my shoulders after speaking my truth and protecting my energy. I want people to see the real me and this documentary means a lot to me because its beautiful to feel that love from people I know that been supporting me from the beginning. After this interview I got a call from Aaliyah and I never expected it but I did call her three times yesterday to make sure she was good on Valentine's Day. I saw a lot of shit with her and Breezy going on all over the internet, I mean I usually don't pay attention to that shit but seeing her hurt like that just broke my heart. She don't deserve that, I wish I could take all of her pain away but now not the time to get close to her. She needs to heal within herself, be by herself and have love for self again until she's ready to be with me or anybody else. I wanted to drop everything and take her away, show her love. Five years of a broken relationship going take a toll on you like you having withdraws from a drug you just can't shake off you. As much as I want to help her out, she has to do it on her own. I still need to protect my heart and focus on myself even though I just want to hold her in my arms, kiss her tears and pain away, love her like she should be loved, make her smile and happy. I left Angela Yee studio and went home to take some time to relax my mind when somebody texted me to turn on the TV to see Jada responding to my interview.

"I got into an entanglement with August"-Jada

Really? That's what she called it, that's fucked up because I was in love with her, I devoted myself to that relationship and gave my all to her. After Aaliyah left I got sick, depressed, and was so deep into my mind I could not even function right so Will and Jada took me in to help me heal. But I fell so hard for Jada that I did not think that I could love nobody else. They can deny me and what we had but I know what was real. She wanted to make me a joke so I'm going drop this song asap call it Entanglements and get my big bro Ross on it. 

"Aug what's good?"-Rick Ross

"Bro do this song with me I just got on my mental"-August

"No doubt, send over everything and I'll be on it"-Rick Ross

"Bet, we gotta get this video and song done asap"-August

"Pick and time and place I'll pull up"-Rick Ross

I took a quick shower, got dressed and headed over to the studio building to get everything done for my video. Rozay arrived right after me and we were pushed on set to get it all started. I sat in the chair and got my hair twisted up then looked at my phone to see I had a few missed calls from Breezy. 

"What's up bro?"-August

"I fucked up big time bruh, she left out in tears"-Chris

"What you think she was going do stay and be a puppet?"-I said under my breath

"What you say?"-Chris

"I can't tell you what ta do man just give her some time, alone besides that focus on ya kids"-I said shaking my head

"Bet you always got my back, I just hope I don't lose her man"-Chris

"You just might if you keep doing her dirty. Look I'm ready to go on set for this video, hit you back"-I said hanging up giving him no time to respond

"You good?"-Rick Ross

"Yeah lets do this"-August

We finished the video and it turned out the exact way I visualized it. Now all I gotta do is get it uploaded on YouTube and put out on every music platform, time is money. I know that it was petty but you can't play with people's feelings and that's why I don't give a fuck about love. Its all good though you live, you learn and you move on. I left the set and went back home to see a face time call coming in.

"Hello August, its been a long time"-Aaliyah

My heart stopped and I dropped my phone in the seat, I guess I was shocked that she would be calling me after all these years. Looking as beautiful as she was the last time I remember seeing her, I can't be driving and talking at the same time though. I took a deep breath and pulled to the side of the road then picked my phone back up to see her staring at me.

"Damn you look beautiful"-I said out loud instead of in my mind

"You're still the same, I appreciate that even though I know I look a mess right now"-Aaliyah

"Nah baby girl its the truth and you know that I speak facts, what's up though? You good?"-August

"I guess, lets not talk about me I just want to say I am proud of you, I saw your interview and wow you spoke with so much realness, with courage, and so much knowledge. I never knew how much you went through and I'm sorry you went through it by yourself. You've grown as a person and now I see why you wanted to protect me. You will always have support and a friend in me. Anyway I hope that you enjoy the rest of your day, I have to go back to work but I just wanted to congratulate you on all that you've accomplished. Bye"-Aaliyah

"Wait I need to talk to you 'bout somethin"-August

"What's up Aug?"-Aaliyah

"Do you miss me?"-August

"I'm sorry but I have to get back to work, see ya"-She said hanging up

The one time I had the chance to tell her how I feel she blocks me out, I don't know why I asked her that but just seeing her face brought back so many memories. I wish I could see her reaction when she heard me say that but she didn't give me the chance to, I gotta stop though she's supposed to be Breezy's girl. I can't get in between that at least not right now...