Dana
Madalas na mali ang intuition ko sa bagay-bagay. Coming to this party is really not a good move. I was already at peace, I am already living quietly and now, everybody comes near me to ask how am I accepting the engagement called off.
Haiii.
"Ditas, good to see you."
"Hello, Belle."
"Oh, Hi Dana, I'm happy to see you okay."
"I am always okay Mrs. Jocson."
"Oh I mean, after the cancellation of the long engagement, I am happy that you are still okay."
"Belle, my daughter was the one who called off the engagement!"
"Mom."
"Pero Dana..."
I smiled at this old lady.
"Mrs. Jocson, yes I called off the engagement so there's no reason for me not to be okay."
"But Dana, you're aging."
"Do I have a deadline?"
"What I'm trying to say hija is, you need to marry soon. Kung wala ka naman palang boyfriend why did you call off the engagement?"
"Because she deserves better Belle like we have better things to do than talk to you."
We left Mrs. Jocson astounded.
"Are you okay Dana?"
"I am Mom."
"Do you want us to go home now?"
"Mom, I don't want you to get embarrassed. Andito tayo, let's stay."
"Just tell me if you want to go home."
"Why don't you go and enjoy with your friends."
"Pero paano ka? Nagiisa ka."
"Mom, I'm not a kid. I can manage."
"Sure?"
"Mom."
"Okay, just call me if you wanna go home."
I thought I'll be at peace when Mom leaves. Hindi pala.
"Dana, good that you came."
"I told you I'll try."
"Pero bakit wala kang date? Did you not remind her Moi?"
"Rachel, sinabihan ko si Dana. So Dana, where's your date?"
"Do I need one?"
"We know you are not okay, we know that you are just pretending to be okay. A guy at least can help you project."
"Girls, I am not pretending to be okay because I am very much okay."
"Talaga ba?"
I nodded.
"Are you sure?"
I rolled my eyes.
"Everyone, your attention please," announce ng emcee na nasa stage
"If I were you, I should have brought a guy." bulong ni Rachel
I was suppose to! Pero itong si Akim bigla na lamang may emergency. He promised me he'll be here with me, he promises not to break it but he did!
"Dana, are you aware of what's gonna happen tonight?" Crissy asked
"May I please call Sir Philip for an announcement, Sir..." Muling announce ng emcee.
Philip went up the stage. My heart thump so hard.
"What will happen?"
"My God! You should have known Dana!"
"Pauline, my love, will you marry me?"
"Always a Yes Philip."
Hindi ko alam kung gaano kamanhid at gaano namang kasama si Philip. Hindi ko alam kung gaano kalaki ang naging kasalanan ko sa mundong ito. Hindi ko alam kung bakit ni minsan sa buhay ko, walang pumili sa akin.
Kagaya ng lahat ng tao, pumalakpak ako at nagpanggap na masaya. Kagaya ng lahat, tumayo ako at nagtaas ng wine glass.
Lahat ng tao, sa akin nakatingin, lahat sila hinihintay na umiyak ako. Pero lahat sila mabibigo lang ngayong gabi. I would fckn die, keeping all my tears inside. I would never show the pain of this night.
After the celebration, I stayed. I pretended to enjoy the bitches' company. I stayed not because I want but because I need to.
"Dana."
"Congratulations Philip."
"Dana, I'm sorry."
"What for Philip? Don't you remember? I called off the engagement."
"Dana."
I smiled at him.
"I am happy for you really, but you could have it low-key for a while. We just called off the engagement. You could have stayed quiet for a while. But look, this is you. You looked great, you look so happy thank you, for making me look and feel like a loser tonight but anyhow, I wish you well."
"Dana."
I turned my back on him and decided to head home. I've been brave and that's enough.
"Dana..."
"The party's over Akim."
"Sorry na Dana, sorry talaga."
"Ano pang magagawa ng sorry mo? Ako na ang talk of the town ngayon."
"Dana, hindi ko naman sinasadya na hindi makapunta sa tamang oras!"
"Tapos na Akim eh."
"Dana."
"You promised me you'll gonna be here with me. You promise to fulfill that and I was so disappointed. Oh, by the way, I looked like a loser tonight and my only hope was you. Pero hindi ka dumating."
"Dana."
"Can you please not show your face to me again? Let us please live as we've never met."
"Pero Dana."
"Please. I've already used up all my strength. I've had enough of everything."
I walked out on Akim and rode the car.
When can I possibly find someone who's going to finally choose me first?
