What will happen next?

Part Fourteen

Everything went black...

In this moment all I could do was think about my life and what I had been through. The first thing on my mind was Alex and our little journey together.

It was my during my internship that I met him, of course not wanting to have anything to do with him outside of work. He was the attending that had screwed all of my intern friends all over the hospital. I really wasn't interested in getting to know him. Everytime I was on his service he treated me like crap, he wasn't the best attending that there was but somewhere along the road he started to respect me and treating me nice. I think it all really started at Ben and Bailey's wedding, that is the night we got very drunk together and I learned him how to cry out of nowhere.
It was the night of the storm and we were an Meredith's old house standing in the living room across from each other. I realised a little before that that I was falling for him and that I didn't want to go to work without him if we were all going to lose out jobs. At the wedding it just all hit us, we both felt something grow but we didn't knew it yet then that we were going to end up together or at least for a while.

The first time he said 'I love you' to me was that night that there was this big storm and Meredith had her baby. We were both standing in his house and he was about to say it when a tree fell through the window. We went to the hospital and later that day went everything calmed down and the power was back he told me he loved me. It took him a moment to build up the courage but he said it taking me in for a hug and a kiss. I will always remember that night, it was such an amazing night. We really went from friends to what felt like siblings to falling in love. The people around us realizing it before us.

Alex and I lived in his house and enjoyed our lives together. We had such an amazing time until there was this zero tolerance policy forbidding our relationship. I remember faking a breakup and then sneaking in his house to see him after work. We did get caught once resulting in him getting kicked of his case and me from peds. After that Alex talked to Meredith and got is some contract starting that our relationship was voluntarily on both sides, letting us be together in the hospital again.

I remember Alex proposing to me at April's wedding and me not really realizing it. We had some ups and downs but we always found our way back to each other.

When I first showed him the loft I bought for us he wasn't really enthusiastic but he did buy it with me because he loved me and I loved him, that was also the first time I really said 'I love you' to him. We decorated the lift and made it as nice as we could. We did make it feel like home and loved our place together.

In this moment of time I was doing my absolute best to only remember all the good things about Alex and me and not the bad and horrible things he did or that happened. If this really was the last thing I was able to do I only wanted to feel positive feelings and relive the happy moments in my life.

The day that he proposed to me, well I had already put on the ring but we were just so happy. I love him so much and I want to spent the rest of my life with him I really do. We were planning our wedding but it was so much harder than we thought so when April suggested that she wanted to plan it we just went for it and let her do everything. The day of our wedding so much went wrong but it was such a good day. We had sex in a shed next to a skeleton and then we were stuck in there. When we got out our wedding planer was in shock from eating shrimps and the wedding was good as canceled. We took the ferry back home when Maghie suggested to Alex that Meredith should be our wedding officiant. We got married right there on the water riding the ferry with all our close friends. It was such a beautiful day, one I will never forget.

There was this one day that it was storming very bad once again and we were stuck at home. We went through our stuff and then realized we had never turned in our wedding papers which ment we were not officially married yet. We laughed a lot that day about what we did to get through the day and had a lot of fun.

When I went to go visit my birth mom I remember him being worried bout me and supporting me through my depression after I returned. He was always there for me when i needed him. He is and will always be the love of my life.

Without me wanting it my mind went to the letter he left me telling me he was leaving me to go be with Izzie and their kids. A feeling of sadness filled my body and I could feel myself get weaker and weaker. I did not know what was going on. I couldn't hear, see or move anything. I was getting scared and before I knew it my mind stopped trying to process everything and stopped me from thinking back to all the moments Alex and I had. My mind just went blank and I guess I did too.