What will happen next?

Part Seven

We woke up at 8, got ready and went downstairs to get our breakfast. We stayed at this small hotel so it was a very simple breakfast, there was some bread, cereals and eggs with bacon. We ate our breakfast and went back to our room. We sat on the bed and talked about what I was going to tell Alex. I was so nervous and wished I could take Meredith with me but I knew this was something I had to do alone. I have to tell him, I have to face him and face the truth. I was planning on going later this day because I knew Alex would be at work right now. My heart stared beating father at the thought of seeing him and hearing his voice again. What do I do when that Izzie girl answers the door and asks me who I am? Does she know who I am, did he tell her about me? I was starting to freak out and Meredith noticed, I felt her hand on my shoulder and she took me in for a hug.

"Are you sure you don't want me to come with you today."

"I'm sure, I wish you could come but I know this is something I have to do alone, just him and me."

"Ok if you need me I am just a phone call away. I'll probably stay at the hotel so just call me when you need me."

"Thank you Mer."

We still had some time to kill so we went to the city to visit some little shops. We searched for some cute accessories and found this cute baby shop. We went in and look around at unisex onesies so that I could use them no matter what the sex of my baby is. We went to go eat lunch at a little diner and then back to the hotel. We watched some TV and talked about the kids and if I wanted to know the sex or if I wanted to wait until the baby was born. I haven't really thought about it a lot but I guess I'd rather wanted to know than keep wondering about what he/ she will be.

It was now almost 3 and I wanted to leave at 3:30. It was a 30 minute drive so I wouldn't be away very long. I called a cab and told them to come pick me up at 25 past 3. The cab arrived and I went downstairs saying goodbye to Meredith. She gave me a big hug and smile. I stepped in the cab and gave the driver the address.

About 30 minutes later we arrived at this beautiful farm with a lot of land around it. On the land there were horses, chickens and some dogs running around. I stepped out of the car and started walking towards the door. As I was walking it all got very real and I stopped for a minute to think about what I was doing. I was very nervous, I still love him very much and having this baby makes me miss him even more. What was I going to say and was I even going to be able to talk at all? I took a deep breath and continued walking towards the door. I arrived at the door and knocked. I waited five minutes and then a tall woman with blonde hair opened the door. I knew that that was Izzie, Alex told me what she was like when those dubblegangers were at the hospital. I don't know if she knew who I was, Alex must have told her about me I guess. The woman standing in the door opening looked at me and ask with a friendly smile how she could help me. She didn't know who I was. I just looked at her and then said that I was looking for someone but that I must be at the wrong house, I couldn't do this, not now. She asked who I was looking for and I lied telling her that I was looking for someone named Charlotte and that this was the address a mutual friend gave me. I apologized and left. She told me good luck in finding her and hoped I had a lovely day.

I stared walking back to the hotel. I stopped at a little restaurant on the way and called a cab from there, I didn't want to be at that farm longer than I needed so I didn't call the cab there. While I was waiting I ordered some food to take back to the hotel. My cab arrived, I stepped in the car and we drove back to the hotel. In total I was gone for a little over 2 hours. I opened the door to our hotel room and found Meredith on the bed reading her book. She heard the door, put away her book and looked at me.

"How was it?"

"Well in went to the farm, I knocked on the door and then Izzie opened the door. I thought she knew who I was but she asked me how she could help me and then I lied and told her I was looking for my friend Charlotte who I thought was living there. I apologized and left. I picked up some food on my way back here and that is all that happened." I told Meredith taking the food out of the bag and setting it on the bed.

"Are you going to go back? I can come with you if you want."

"I don't know if I can Meredith. I was so sure that I would be able to do it but standing in front of his house just made it all too real. I still love him so much and this makes it so much harder. I just don't know how he will react, I am so scared."

"It's ok, we will go together tomorrow. Better get it done soon so we can go back home and to work. For the rest of the day we are going to eat that food you bought and watch some TV. I went to the store and got us some good snacks. I got popcorn, candy and a lot of other very unhealthy things."

The rest of the day we did just that, we watched TV and I ate away all my feelings. In the evening we went downstairs to eat the hotel dinner. It was a very simple but delicious dinner. After we ate we went back upstairs and got ready to go to bed. Meredith fell asleep around 11pm but I was still thinking about tomorrow and how I would see him again for the first time since he left me.