It's All You - Lando Norris

14

(Trigger warning for sexual assault again in this chapter. I will give a warning before hand and use the same marking *** to end it)

The walk back to his place was quiet, he gave me the space I needed which I was grateful for. I felt like some of the weight that was on my chest was beginning to dissipate. Every now and then when walking our hands would brush one another, every time my skin touched against his I could feel my skin get goose bumps. It was the only thing stopping me from crashing into a sobbing mess again. Oh god this poor kid, he barely knows me yet now he's just seen me running through the streets crying and panicking. I stopped mid walk and turned to him as he did the same, I moved into his body, Lando instantly wrapped his arms around me. The fresh scent of his clothes mixed with a subtle spice scented cologne filled my nose and body. I wrapped my arms around his body with what energy I had left in my body. "I'm sorry for pushing you away from me, I didn't mean to, I just needed space." He kissed the top of my head and then placed his cheek where he kissed. "Oh, Eleanor darling, it's okay, you don't need to apologise for a single thing. You did what you needed to. Come on, let's get you back to mine, I will run you a bath, sound good?". I nodded my head against his chest and then we finished the rest of the walk.

Once inside Lando took me straight upstairs and to the bathroom where he began to run the bath. He filled the bath with some body wash that began to bubble and throw out a coconut scent across the room and then headed downstairs to get me a drink. The bath was getting full so I turned the taps off. I started to get changed for the bath and was currently in the borrowed joggers and just my bra as Lando came back into the room.

"Oh shit!" He quickly shut his eyes and stumbled his way towards the side to put the drinks down. I approached him; his eyes still shut tightly. I pecked his lips lightly and moved away from him while he slowly opened his eyes and looked at my face. "It's okay I don't really mind, just turn around for me so I can get out of these clothes and get into the bath?" He turned instantly for me so I could change and then slip into the bath. Lando passed my drinks to me once I gave him the all clear to turn back around. "I made you a tea and a glass of water, If you need me just shout okay?"

"Lando, could you stay in here with me? I really don't want to be alone right now" He nodded and left the room to get a chair for himself and came back. he sat next to me whilst I was in the bath. The bubbles covered all of my body. I dropped my head under the water, submerging myself in the silence that the water provided. As I came back up, I could see Lando smiling at me. He grabbed the shampoo and squirted some into his hands, before placing it onto my head, his fingers massaged the shampoo into my head, the longer he did it, the more I could feel my body release its tension. I hummed softly in content, the warm water helped relax my muscles, I had entirely stopped shaking now from the panic attack. I didn't know if I was ready to tell Lando about my past, but I also don't think I would ever be ready to tell him, so I might as well tell him now. It would be like ripping off a plaster. He took the shower head and rinsed the shampoo from my hair. "Lando, I don't know if I'm ready to tell you, but I'm going to. I want you to know about me, the real me." He returned the shower head and grabbed me a towel. I stood up once his eyes were shut so I could wrap the towel around myself.

We went into the bedroom, him following me with my drinks that I had entirely forgotten about. I got changed whilst he poured the tea away just into a pair of black satin shorts and a satin vest top. He came back into the room, kissed my cheek and then sat on the bed. I sat at the opposite end of the bed and looked at him.

(TRIGGER WARNING!)

"I'll start at the beginning, I guess. So, when I was sixteen, I was on a week-long geography trip with my school as part of the GCSE course. It was the second to last night and in my room was myself and three other girls called Simi, Lucy & Jess. The night before we met some boys briefly from another school in Essex, just like the polite hellos, the pleasantries you know. So anyway, this night me and my best friend at the time Simi decided to stay up the whole night. Lucy had insomnia so she had to take her pills to fall asleep, she was out like a light, and Jess was a heavy sleeper". I looked down and began to play with my fingers. "Me and Simi heard a tap on our window, it was two lads from the school in Essex. They said they got locked outside and needed a way to get back in, so myself and Simi went to let them back in. They couldn't get back to their room as they hadn't picked up the key to their room, so we offered for them to stay in our room as me and Simi were up all night. We spoke to them for a while about our schools and differences about them, but I started to get tired around four in the morning. Myself, Simi and one of the lads called Omar were all sat on the floor, but this other lad called Tahmid was sat on my bed. I mentioned how I wanted to sleep, so he told me he would top and tail with me. But that isn't what happened. Simi and Omar went to sleep on the floor, once they were asleep, Tahmid moved so his head was up by mine. I was still under the quilt whilst him on top of it, but he got under it too. He kept putting his hand onto my hip, I kept shoving it off. He would then put his hand under my top. I would keep shoving it back off me. I told him to leave me alone but he wouldn't listen. I threated to scream, but he wrapped his hands around my neck and threatened to strangle me if I even tried it. He touched me, he made me touch him. It went on for almost four hours, it only stopped when Omar awoke saying they needed to get back to their classrooms block because of the teachers being awake. Overall, he fingered me, left bruising on my neck and hickeys on my chest from where he had sucked and bit at my skin. He made me grab his dick and forced me to wank him until he came onto me"

(***)

I looked up at Lando, he was clenching his jaw, he had balled his hands into fists. His knuckles were a ghost white. He was staring past me with the most intense look in his eyes. "Lando?" I watched his eyes flick to me; I saw his jaw unclench but his fists were still clasped tight "Fuck... fuck... I don't know what to say Eleanor... did you tell the police?" I nodded my head and shut my eyes; my voice was still shaking after telling Lando about what happened. "I did, I made multiple statements, gave them the clothes I was wearing, they took swabs of my mouth, pictures of all the bruising on my body. I had to do a video statement at one in the morning that lasted for three hours. They asked me all kind of questions that made me feel more like an idiot like "Why didn't you wake a roommate?', 'You could have screamed and people would have woken up, he wouldn't have had the time to kill you'. They explained that it was just to understand the way my mind worked at the time, to understand my thought processes. This happened in December, I didn't find out till August that no charges were being pressed against him, and I just broke at that point. That started years' worth of counselling. I still have sessions now. When you found me in the street, I had just had a nightmare. All I could do was get outside to feel free. That takes us up to where we are now. I've spoken about what happened to me time and time again that it's easier to talk about now. It's just the nightmares that get to me, I can't control them and they come unexpectedly".

I moved up the bed towards Lando, his eyes never left mine the whole time, they were filled with sorrow, pain and anger. I knew he was in shock so I crawled into his lap and pulled his arms around mine. I started to worry that maybe I was too much for him, he has a busy life, he doesn't want to be dealing with someone like me all the time. I nuzzled my head into his neck and kissed it softly, I could feel his body release the tension he was holding as he wrapped his arms around my body. He twirled the ends of my hair around his finger and kept kissing the top of my head.

"I'm so sorry this happened to you Eleanor. I will never let anyone hurt you ever again. I promise to protect you." I could feel my heart melt at his words. I felt safe in his arms. He lifted my chin up to look at him, he moved his head into mine and kissed me softly. I could feel my stomach doing somersaults as he kissed me. "I really like you Lan- Elea". We both stopped talking and began to laugh at us both saying the same thing at the same time. Lando kissed me again "I'm glad the feelings mutual El."