Rebel Girl

16} When Couch Surfing Turns Into Couch Cuddling

© Amber Kalkes 2015

Song: "Good Morning" By The Dandy Warhols

 Chapter Sixteen: When Couch Surfing Turns Into Couch Cuddling

 

I wake up to see the sun trickling into the room. Its morning a realize and when I squint up at the bike gear clock over the TV I notice that its only six in the morning. I attempt to sit up but something is holding me down around my middle. Wide eyed I drop my view to a tattooed arm with a silver watch around the wrist.

The artwork on the arm is something I’ve seen often but never really studied. It’s got a mixture of different things that oddly seem to go together. Roses, skulls, nautical themes and even a mermaid are all captured in the black and gray sleeve. Without really even thinking about it my fingers begin tracing the petals of a rose close to his wrist.

After my show and tell last night Lou didn’t ask anymore questions. Instead he silently just dragged us onto the couch and simply held me. It was nice to finally just have someone hold me instead of try to get me to talk. I’ve never been good at expressing myself verbally. I live in a world inside my head that very few people visit and even fewer people ask about.

Eventually we must have fallen asleep. That would certainly explain why I feel so rested today. The pain in my back and neck from sleeping in the slide are mostly gone now and I don’t feel like a zombie anymore. Still tracing the outline of the rose I stare at my fingers as they move as my mind drifts off.

I wonder if my dad misses me yet. I haven’t checked my phone since yesterday morning so maybe he called. Softly sighing I cuddle into the other tattooed arm under my head, inhaling Lou’s scent. I never thought it was possible to love someone’s scent but I love Lou’s. It’s musky but also with a touch of the cologne, that I don’t know the name of, to it. I can’t really describe it; it just smells like home, like Lou.

Closing my eyes I stop tracing his tattoo to place my fingers between his and pull it up so it’s curled against my chest. I could sleep for a few hours more if this is what cuddling is like. I thought it would be awkward or uncomfortable to have someone so wrapped around you but its not. Its nice, comforting and all together soothing.

“Why’d you stop?”

My eyes pop open at the sound of Lou’s cracking thick morning voice. Now the panic sets in. What do I say? Is he going to ask about the cuts? Is he going to tell me that we should just go back to being friends? Can I go back to being friends with him? My stomach is in knots just thinking about it.

Suddenly his lips are at my ear whispering calming things. “Hey, its okay. Calm down, deep breathes.”

Nodding I follow his directions trying to calm myself down. I need my pills, I realize with distaste. I really don’t like taking those stupid pills. They don’t do anything for me beside make me want to gag every time I ingest them. It takes a few minutes but eventually I can feel my heartbeat calm down and the wave of nausea to fade.

“You good?” He asks lowly.

I nod while exhaling.

His arms tighten around me. “Good. Now I’m going to say something but I want you to stay where you are and not speak until I’m done, okay?”

Again I just nod but my stomach tightens in fear of where he’s exactly going with this.

“Four years ago I fell in love. She was my everything. I thought she was the love of my life but I didn’t see her as she really was. One night I came home and found her fucking her study partner in our bed. I didn’t see it coming, I didn’t even have a clue that this had been going on for as long as it had.”