SMG4 X Red Vs Blue X Male OC Insert "Memory is the key"

Recreation S7 Ep 1: Don't Get Me Started

The screen opens up with Sarge walking up the hill to bring attention to the Blues.

Sarge: Attention: Blue Team! This is the Red Team! We are here to destroy you! Your long reign of being the shittiest team around is about to come to the sudden and cataclysmic end! We will give you a few moments to suck in the horrors of this announcement! And then return for your reaction. Be right back!

Saiko: Shut up! Can you see we're trying to sleep!

Sarge backs down towards Red Base, where Simmons and Grif are standing.

Sarge: Hehe. Alright, that oughta scare the bejeebus out of them! Only to disturb team neutrals' sleep. Guess they go on long adventures so far.

Simmons: Actually, sir. Since it's just one of them over there—

Grif: And one of them is an idiot...

Simmons: —I don't really see the point in psychological warfare.

Sarge: You're right, Simmons. It's not really accurate to refer to one person as a team. What's better? Blue Person? Blue Man? Bluetonian?

Grif: Wait didn't they had Freelancer on their side?

Simmons: What I meant was—

Sarge: Bluetard!

Simmons: ...What I meant was, I don't see the point in announcing to him that we're gonna attack. Why don't we just do it?

Sarge: There's an order to this, Simmons. We can't abandon protocol just because we have an advantage! We have to give him a chance to see the errors of his Blue ways! To lay down his arms and meet his fellow men at the table of peace, where we can work together towards a better world. A world that's better, because we poisoned his food at that table, and stabbed him in the eye with a fork. And taken all his stuff.

Simmons: ... Dibs on the computers.

Sarge: Noted. Now watch that base. Tell me if anything changes.

Simmons: Yes, sir! And sir?

Sarge: Yes, Simmons?

Simmons: I just wanna say, I'm glad I was here to see you on your day of victory. It's been a long time coming.

Sarge: Yes it has, hasn't it? My skills as a leader have really taken us far. It must've been quite an honor to serve with me. (pause) Ah... okay. Glad we had this talk.

Simmons: [hopeful] Are you glad I'm here too, Sarge?

Sarge: Of course I am.

Simmons: I knew it! I just could—

Sarge: The squad's kill-death ratio is the most important measurement when evaluating sergeants! If you had died, that would've hurt my numbers.

Simmons: (sniffs; walks off) (dejectedly) Glad I could help!

Sarge: It's better to keep a little padding in our stats! That way, if we're far enough ahead, I can stab Grif in the face, and still stay in the lead.

Grif: You know, I'm standing right here.

Sarge: Right where I want you: within face-stabbing range!

Sarge then radio calls Lopez.

Sarge: Lopez, how are those vehicle repairs coming?

Lopez: ¿Cómo van? El jeep está destruido. No se puede arreglar. [Coming? The jeep is destroyed. It can't be fixed.]

Sarge: Got an ETA?

Lopez: Sí. Nunca. [Yes. Never.]

Sarge: As long as they get it ASAP! Cuz I need it PDQ!