Give Me Love (An Ashton Irwin/5SOS fanfic)

Chapter 42

*2 Days Later*

I fiddle nervously with my fingers as dad pulls into a parking space outside the church. I feel like this is so wrong on so many levels. She deserves more than just a funeral, and distant relatives and people who hardly spoke to her would be here. She deserves a good send off.

Ashton intertwines his hand in mine as he pulls be out of the car, looking back momentarily to give me a reassuring smile. He knows that I have been dreading this day, but it doesn't stop him from dragging me into the dimly lit building. A good few people are already here, scattered amongst the benches and making small talk. Even their whispers make me irritated.

Noticing my annoyance, Ashton leans down to become ear-level. "She wouldn't want you to lash out. Calm yourself, Lia."

I know what he means, so I whisper an apology and take our seats up the top. My dad and Jake join us, my brother sitting on my right and dad beside him. Soon enough, the rest of the gang come in and take seats behind us.

Light chatter echoes around the church, but I don't feel like talking. I want to be alone.

I feel someones breath on my neck and before I turn around to see who it is, they open their mouth.

"Cheer up, princess," I weakly smile at Niall's voice.

"I'm trying, Ni. I'm only here for her."

Niall pats my shoulder comfortingly. "We're here for her too. It's gonna get better, Lia. I promise."

"How do you know?" I sigh. "I feel like nothing will be the same."

"Maybe not," he suggests. "But things will improve, you'll be happy soon."

He hushes me before I have time to speak, his words leaving me puzzled. I squeeze Ashton's hand as the priest comes out, everyone standing as he says the opening prayers.

The ceremony so far is lovely. The priest is acting like he genuinly cares and the choirs voices liven the mood slightly. I know mum would be happy. And soon enough, it's speech time.

I wrote a speech. I didn't want to, but Jake and Ashton urged me to. They said I couldn't stay bottled up forever so writing might help. I just couldn't understand how Jake could stay so strong. I knew he was sad, but it scared me how calm he was being.

The priest calls me up, and I detangle my hand from Ashtons. I move past my family and walk up to the stand, taking a deep breath. I unravel the sheet of paper that was clenched tightly in my hand and I read over the words, but they seem foreign.

I know everyone is waiting for me, but I'm frozen. I don't know what to say. I can't read the words on the sheet, they're too staged. So I put the paper in my pocket and look out to the crowd.

"My mother was a mad woman," I say, earning some smiles. "She couldn't go a day without freaking out over something, whether it was over messy couches, her annoying children, or one of my best friends called Calum Hood."

I smirk at Calum, whos cheeks are flushed with pink. But I continue nonetheless.

"She wasn't just any other woman, mother, wife or sister. She was an inspiration, and a treasure. She helped me through so much ever since I took my first breath," I feel the tears welling up as I think back to when I got bullied. "She was beautiful, intelligent, and a pleasure to be around. I know everyone here will agree with me when I say she's a little crazy."

I hear some laughter eminating, some nods of agreement catching my eye.

"But I didn't get to say goodbye," a single tear slips from my eye. "I was away and came back as soon as possible when I heard she was ill. Scared was an understatement as to how I was feeling. I was petrified. She was my rock, and when her heart monitor blew up, my lungs caved in and a piece of me died along with her. I've never been in so much pain."

"But her suffering ended, and now the angel has returned home. Mum, it was a goddamned pleasure being your daughter. I love you so much, I really do."

People are wiping their eyes as I finish.

"I also hope there's a casino up there for you. Just don't get too drunk."

Jake and dad laugh loudly at this. Mum always wanted to go to Las Vegas to visit the world famous casinos.

I walk off the alter and bow in respect, then return to my seat beside Ashton and Jake.

"That was amazing, Lia," Jake beams at me and I give him a kiss on the cheek. Dad leans over and squeezes my knee. "Well done, sweetheart."

I slip my hand into Ashton's as the rest of the ceremony goes on. And soon enough, it's over. I couldn't fault it to be honest. It was a beautiful send off.

Many people come to sympathize with us, but I manage to escape before too many people got on my nerves. I tug Ashton out into the fresh air and sigh in relief.

We wait for dad and Jake to leave and then we go back to the car, heading to the cemetry. No one speaks, and the only sound that can be heard in everyones breathing.

I come to realise that even though mum is gone, I still have my brother and dad. I also have amazing friends. A lot has happened over the past year, some greats things, some bad. But I believe everything happens for a reason.

I rest my head on Ashton's shoulder, his head resting on mine. And I let myself think that maybe, just maybe, everything will be okay.

________________________________

We head home after burying mum's coffin. I didn't cry surprisingly. I just bottled up whatever emotion that was building up inside of me and threw it away. I needed to be strong.

When I open the front door, I realise its quiet. Almost too quiet.

"Where is everyone?" I whisper.

"Don't know," Dad says, locking the door. "They said they'd be here."

I turn around and walk into the kitchen, only to be met with my idiotic friends holding platters of food and cards. I notice Niall is holding a thick envelope.

"I know this mighn't be a good time.." Michael mumbles.

"But we thought you guys would need some cheering up!" Louis beams.

"So we got some food and a few movies, so we can just to chill."

I smile at Zayn.

"You guys are the fucking best."

I notice my dad and Jake are smiling, along with Ashton. We all need some sleep, but cheering up is probably our main priority.

"Thats not all," Niall smirks. "This is for you."

He hands me the thick envelope.

I bite my lip as I open it slowly, discarding the envelope after taking the letter out. My eyes scan the words, and I nearly scream.

"ARE YOU SERIOUS?!" I yell excitedly, and everyone smiles.

On the letter infront of me, is a confirmation to audition in one of Ireland's best music schools.

"Glad you like it," Liam grins. I start screaming and I pull everyone in for a big hug.

I soon realise Jake and dad don't look surprised.

"Did you know about this?" I question suspiciously.

Jake nods sheepishly. "Yeah.."

"Thank you so much guys. Seriously."

My day only seems to be getting brighter. I seriously have the best family and friends ever. I know mum would be smiling her ass off if she was here.

"Time for mooooovies!" Tarra yells and drags Luke into the sitting room, everyone else following but Ashton and I.

He pulls me by the waist and rests his forehead against mine, and I wrap my arms around his neck.

"How are you?" He asks.

I look up at him, and give him a lingering kiss on his lips, leaving him shocked.

"Just dandy."