"What is love in this temporal life, if not just a distraction from the pain that doesn't seem to end."
After losing his best friend to an unexplained suicide, Mateu finds himself left to pick up the pieces with his best friend's younger brother, Fe...
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
Amélie's voice on the other side of the line felt soothing. It was comforting to hear a familiar voice again, in a city full of transient strangers. Sure, I had friends in law school but they knew a different me from the boy from the boarding school just outside the walls of Carcassonne.
"I never thought I'd hear from you again," I heard her say the moment she picked the phone up.
"Hello," I said, slumping myself into my sofa.
There was a brief moment of silence as I took in the moment. She was the last person from Carcassonne whom I spoke to ever since Rafel passed. I have took it upon myself to sever myself from the pain, and have slowly come to regret that. Our last conversation had been painful. I, too, thought that I'd never speak to her again.
"How long has it been?" she asked.
I took a glance at the calendar on the coffee table. It was May, almost nine months since I've moved to Marseille. My relationship with Amélie broke down roughly a month after that.
"A very long time," I mustered a reply.
I asked her if she wanted to meet, that I had so many things I wanted to talk about with her. She told me she was free the next day, and we agreed to meet for dinner. I asked her if coming to my new place was alright with her. Just for dinner.
"Just for dinner," she repeated. "That would be good."
I didn't have classes the next day, so I had all day to prepare for dinner that night. I had gone to the gym right before lunch, just in case things ended up with me naked. Not like they ever did. Then I headed to the grocer's and got the ingredients that we needed. We had planned to cook together, and I had asked if there was anything in particular that she would like. She wasn't fussy about it, so I just got whatever I wanted. That night's dinner was salad, followed by grilled salmon with a side dish of pasta and green beans. Dessert for the night was crema catalana.
I started with dessert as it needed to chill in the fridge for a few hours. Half an hour before seven I quickly took a shower and put on a fresh set of clothes. I opted for a white casual linen shirt, with three quarter sleeves as well as tapered trousers. I brushed my teeth and sprayed on some cologne. I didn't know why I was so nervous. Amélie and I had nothing between us anymore.
I suppose a part of me still longed for everything I had lost.
My hands were starting to show signs of a rash then, a light burning sensation followed by a lingering itch. Red splotches began to appear on my skin, but I didn't care. The pain in my chest was much more severe.
As much as I prepared myself, I knew finally daring to talk about Rafel would unearth some painful feelings long buried deep inside. I headed over to the kitchen to pour myself a drink to calm myself.
Just as expected, Amélie arrived at seven sharp. She had on a white chiffon dress with faded floral motifs, her black bag hanging over her right shoulder. Her makeup was immaculate, having her winged eyeliner on as a cerise lipstick masks her soft lips. As I opened the door, she gave me a sweet, albeit awkward smile.
