Heart of Gold

Chapter 22 Heart of Gold

Chapter 22

Heart of Gold

Gracie's POV

"Oh Sarah look at this mess." I said as I placed my hands on my hips

Her crayons were thrown over the glass table with a few papers scattered on the floor and sofa. Her schoolbag was wide open in the middle of the crumbs of her snack earlier. The new dolls Jason bought her were thrown carelessly around the living room and a half a cup of milk.

Sarah sat on the sofa with her emerald eyes wide as she looked around the room.

"Jason said to make ourself at home." she answered

"Make ourself at home not destroy his." I replied angrily

Oh gosh. Shaking my head I examined the mess once more, huffing at the clean up ahead. The pot roast was finishing in the oven, I just brushed it with the last of the glaze, the side dish of peas and carrots, I also just put the rolls in.

Jason would be home any minute and it looked like a tornado tore through his living room, well it wasn't that bad but it wasn't messy when he left this afternoon.

Bending down I collected the dolls in my arms. Ben hated when things were out of order and dirty. He'd yell at me for laying around while Sarah trashed his house. I shivered as a vivid memory of one of my many beatings coming to me.

The stubby large fists pounding my body as he cursed at me with his words slurring from the beers he asked for. My faint pleas for help echoed in my ears as I remembered trying to think about happier times but couldn't find any.

"I'm sorry momma." Sarah said breaking me out of my thoughts

She collected her papers and placed them into her bag than shoved her crayons in. Zipping it up she set it by the sofa. Running over to the hall closet she took out the dust pan and broom.

"Thank you now adjust the sofa cushions please." I said

Being my good little girl Sarah nodded her head and pushed the cushions back. I smiled at her offer to help. Children her age wouldn't normally help clean any mess unless they were forced. Sarah has always been different from other kids.

She is quiet, strongly opinionated, kind and frighteningly calm. Sarah doesn't run around which surprised me, I haven't been able to take her to the park but Jackie says she loves to run.

Between Ben and work I never had much time to have fun with her. To be honest I get jealous of Jackie sometimes, I would give anything to spend one full day with my daughter.

Sweeping up the rest of the crumbs I went to check on the roast beef. It needed another ten minutes but the rolls were done. Placing the fluffy golden biscuits down to cool I hoped Jason enjoyed the meal.

If I made something Ben didn't like he'd make me pay.

"Ben is gone." I chanted as I put the gray oven mitts down

No he's not, a voice replied bringing fear with it. Even if Ben is out of my life the scars he has made aren't gone and probably won't ever go away. I'll always fear men because of what he has done to me and the nightmares are reminders of the life he has stolen from me.

I use to dream about having a family, a husband and two or three kids but now I know that will never happen. Not when I'm broken, besides I don't think I can after those many years with Ben over me.

There was a loud crashing sound from the living room that startled me. Rushing in I saw Sarah staring at the broken glass with milk dripping down the legs of the table.