Floating at Night

19. Scorched

Ali jumped in my bed as soon as she heard signs of life from my room.
Apparently, Baker and I forgot we weren't alone during our screaming match last night.
"Noelle. Please, please tell me this is going to come to a head soon. Metaphorically and quite literally." She winked then giggled at her own joke.
"I don't know, Ali. Other than fighting and an occasional joke, we haven't really spoken much. Sure, we've been hanging out, but we haven't even approached the topic of us and what happened. I don't even know if I could ever be with him again." The agony of never seeing him again washes over me and it's almost impossible to hide the tears threatening to pour over my cheeks.
"Hey, stop. Nobody said you have to know it all right now. We both know you love him. Isn't it easier to stay friends for a while than to rock the boat?" I nodded my head, trying to catch my panicked breaths as they leave my body.
"Noelle, calm down. It'll all work out, you'll see." She rubbed small circles over my back as my breathing slowed.
When Baker left, I had panic attacks almost daily. Ali was one of the only people who could pull me out of them.
I haven't had a panic attack in almost a year. The one that just almost happened, would have taken me out for a day. My chest gets sore, my legs get sore, I'm left with a migraine, all over Baker.
"I'm just saying, the kind of tension between you two last night... David and I could feel it from the other room."
"Oh fuck, David was here too?"
She giggled and she left me in my bed, dumbstruck and embarrassed.

I ignored the pain in my chest as I declined a call from Baker and rolled over in my bed. I could stay here all day. I would have no regrets about it either.
My mind drifted to how close Baker was last night, his deep voice damn near perfection. How am I ever going to stand a chance when everything about him gives me "fuck me" eyes.
As if I needed to see him today, Ali bursts through my door screaming that he's on his way. "No! He can't come here! I'm too close. I need some distance!" I search frantically for my hair brush that has somehow grown two little legs and hidden underneath all the junk in my bathroom.
"You'll be okay, Noelle. It's not like you have to jump into bed with him or anything."
"But I really want to, Ali."
Her face is shocked, then amused, but mostly... happy.
"Then screw his brains out. Me and David will leave."
A short argument later about how I was not, in fact, planning to screw Baker's brains out, Ali grabbed David and made him take her to the beach.
I texted Baker and told him I would be in the shower and to let himself in before locking my bathroom door behind me and proceeding to clean myself.
The hot water provided a small ounce of clarity, but not nearly enough to walk out in a towel and find Baker laying in my bed, face down, shirtless.
"What the fuck, Baker."
He jolted up, running his hand down his face. Once he realized I was in a towel, his gaze tore over my body until he eventually turned his head.
"Sorry, do you want me to let you get dressed?" He stood but I shook my head, grabbing a pair of Lacey panties and the skimpiest pair of shorts I can find. I make sure he sees both before I grab his shirt from the bed, the one he'd worn here, "I always liked wearing your shirts."
After slipping his shirt over my head I glanced at myself in the mirror and almost laughed at how his shirt swallowed my frame. He's always been bigger than me, but now... he's been working out and gaining muscle and his shirt is like a dress. I hold the material against my face, inhaling his scent. If anything in the world could bring me back from the edge, it's this.

"Baby doll, hurry up. I'm getting lonely."
I snorted, walking back into the room and plopping down on the bed beside him.
"Spend the day with me," he mumbled. His hand reached out and planted itself on my thigh. I'd be lying if I said there wasn't fire underneath his touch.
"Doing what?"
His brows furrowed, his mouth slightly open as he put on his best thinking face.
And it was so damn cute.
"Let's go to the beach." He leaned up, leaning toward me. I instinctively pushed him back, planting my palm on his forehead and giving him a good shove. He dramatically rolled off the bed, earning a slight giggle from me, involuntary of course.
"I just showered. I don't want to get all sandy and sweaty. Think of something else." I stood from the bed, watching his eyes trail up and down my body as his adam's apple bobbed.
"I can think of plenty," he answered. His voice was deeper than before, almost like my itty bitty shorts are having the desired effect.
"Like what?" I gave an innocent smile before turning my back to him. I couldn't hide the blush climbing up my cheeks from his gaze.
"Like how about I throw you in this bed and show you all the things your little fuck boy couldn't."
His words were smooth, taking the desired effect right in the pit of my stomach. I could feel him coming up behind me, hear his steps getting closer and closer. Then I felt his fingers gently trail up my arms.

"Noelle..."

I turned around, taking a step back into the bedroom door.
"What are you doing, Baker?" My voice was barely above a whisper.
"Tell me, baby doll, is this body still mine?" He asked, letting his fingers fall to the hem of my shirt, tracing along until they were untying my shorts.
"Baker, I-" he cut me off, the vibration of his voice rocking through me as he leaned down to my ear.
"How many?"
His fingers slowly pulled at my shorts, his other hand placed firmly on my lower back, pulling me into him.
Suddenly his fingers slipped beneath my shorts but layered between my panties and my shorts. Teasing me.
"Baker..." I was trying to sound stern, but it came out as more of a whimper.
"Tell me how many, baby doll." His lips trailed down my neck with gentle kisses, leading to my collar bone. He let his tongue massage the area just beneath it, the spot he knew I liked.
He's the one who discovered it.
"Justin... that's it." I mumbled, grinding my hips against his hand.
"And?" His voice was straining just like the rock hard member I could feel through his jeans.
"It's yours, Baker. I've always been yours."
It was all he needed. His restraint snapped and his lips crashed into mine with need, with desperation.
His lips moved against mine in a way that no one else's ever could, ever would,
He grabbed my ass with both hands, lifting my feet from the ground as I wrapped my legs around him.
"Fuck, baby," he growled against me as my hand slipped into his jeans.
"I've missed you, my body has missed you, Baker, you're not leaving here until you fuck me."
His growl of approval reverberates through his chest as he pulls my shirt over my head, then unclasps my bra revealing my bare chest.
He took his time, massaging, licking, rubbing every part of me. His lips left thoughtful kisses all over my body and when we were done, we did it again.
And again.
And even after all the sweat and juices were all over us and my sheets, we passed out in the same position we should've been in this whole time. Together. His arms around my waist with my face buried in his chest.

And it felt like home.