Yesterday's Prince

Yesterday's Prince

38.4K Reads 2.7K Votes 41 Part Story
HD Lynn By hlynn117 Updated Dec 02, 2016

What would you do if your body and your kingdom were stolen?
  
  [A FEATURED STORY]
    
  Uther is a young prince who's reluctantly thrust into having to defend his throne against his usurping uncle and all-around powerful wizard, who uses his powers to steal the one thing Uther thought he couldn't take: his own body. After becoming the villain of the realm in an instant, Uther struggles to find anyone that will believe his story. His uncle's unsavory reputation lands him with a family of dark fae, a goblin, and a troll--not the usual team of knightly heroes.
    
  Together, this odd team will untangle a web of curses, escape bounty hunters, and confront fae. If Uther can't figure out how to reverse his uncle's curse, he'll be trapped in a body that's not his own--doomed to be a villain--for the rest of his life.
    
  YESTERDAY'S PRINCE is The Sword in the Stone with a Freaky Friday twist. Now entered in #Wattys2016

ColonizerDroid003 ColonizerDroid003 Jul 20, 2016
This is where Uther's curse really starts to come into play, so maybe describe it a little more clearly. If you don't, it will just sound like he's having trouble speaking through the gag, not that he's acutally cursed.
ColonizerDroid003 ColonizerDroid003 Jul 20, 2016
Is there a reason this is cut off from the rest of the paragraph? Becasue once again, it's still part of the same general thought.
ColonizerDroid003 ColonizerDroid003 Jul 20, 2016
Maybe make the Heron spooking the horse a bit more clear? Maybe that it flew at it's face or something?
ColonizerDroid003 ColonizerDroid003 Jul 20, 2016
Don't know why this sticks out to me, but I'd make this motion a bit more specific.
ColonizerDroid003 ColonizerDroid003 Jul 20, 2016
I loved this whole description. Nothing to comment on, but if you want to find a way to work the word "Resonant" into your description of her voice, I think it would really clearly convey what you're trying to picture.
ColonizerDroid003 ColonizerDroid003 Jul 20, 2016
Based on your description of this world, I'm assuming its more medieval, and I don't think they'd actually have socks. Maybe something like socks, idk, but if I were you I'd choose something that you know they wore. Like shoes, or undergarments.