You See Prince Charming, But I See Player;)  (On Hold For A Little Bit)

You See Prince Charming, But I See Player;) (On Hold For A Little Bit)

3.5K Reads 99 Votes 3 Part Story
Nishelle By TheMixedChick Updated Apr 20, 2011

Everyone can be a little shy while others can be overly confident. Nina Liriano is one of those people who are in between. She’s confident enough that she wouldn’t turn away from a camera but she sure as hell won’t be asking for one right up in front of it.
Nina happens to be pro at detecting players, it comes in handy when she moves to California from London and meets a damn persistent one. But it seems to get a little shaky. Aiden, the hot, surprising “nice” guy that dumps a new girl friend after every month, so how could no one see through his act?
Finally she realizes how he gets all the girls, Aiden is pretending to be “Prince Charming” and every girl falls for it. Nina knows that she needs to stay away from Aiden, but what happens when “Need” and “Want” gets mixed together?
Well, when you see Prince Charming…I see a Player.

VenessaJinson VenessaJinson Jun 04, 2011
Pretty good start, but there were some errors. I suggest you read through aloud, that should help catch them. 
LittleAmy LittleAmy Apr 21, 2011
It was good! My only issue was you change between past and present tense. I see a lot of authors on Wattpad with the same problem, you just need to read through carefully to correct it. Overall, this is a good first attempt. Voted!
IBreakHearts IBreakHearts Apr 21, 2011
I like your it! But I think you should make a new introduction to the story. Didn't see any mistakes & had good descriptions. :)
LizzyLouLou LizzyLouLou Apr 21, 2011
I think you did a great job for your first story. One thing that really gets to me is the "I'm attractive according to everyone else, but I just don't see it". Sooooooooo cliche. And it's really unnecessary. 
                              But apart from thar, great job. Keep writing!
RebeccaElizabethHill RebeccaElizabethHill Apr 19, 2011
HOLY GUACAMOLE. I didn't know you were that AMAZING  of a writer, gurl! Keep writing, cus you got skill!! haha love this book! 
NESMAN NESMAN Mar 31, 2011
The story could be better, just read through and make a few changes, try to get the attention of the reader