march 26, 2019
billie: 3 dayyyysssssss
finneas: i can't believe we're actually finished this album
billie: i know right
billie was currently editing the bad guy music video because she wanted to do it as soon as we got home from shooting it. we've been together for 3 months. and i haven't left her side since, vice versa. we'd been to many places and it was only the start of the year. we went to scotland, she did a show in london on the 6th, we visited france, berlin, glasgow, copenhagen and many more places. recently we have had small fights and we've walked out on eachother, but it's not the end of the world, right? finneas scrolls through his phone then pushes on something and music begins to play.
madison: i love this song
finneas: me too
billie: this song is sad as fuck
finneas: no it's not
claudia walks in and begins to sing. i watch as she sings to her boyfriend, smiles on their faces. finneas begins to sing to her
i'll wait to be forgiven
maybe i never will
my star has left me
to take the bitter pill
that shattered feeling
well the cause of it's a lesson learned
just don't know if i can roll into the sea again
just don't know if i can do it all again
she said it's true
they continue dancing while billie throws a pillow at them but they ignore her.
billie: this is sappy, i don't like it
madison: you're sappy
billie: no i'm not
madison: yes you are
billie: shut up
she looks at the laptop again, doing her thing while her brother and his lover danced to the song rest of the song.
finneas: cheer up billie
billie: shut the fuck up
she moves me and gets up, leaving the laptop and walking upstairs. finneas looks at me
finneas: what's wrong with her
madison: i don't know
he shrugs and sits next to me
finneas: how is your guys relationship? healthy i hope
madison: yeah it's good
finneas: i'm hearing your arguments that you guys are having. she's clearly annoyed that you're liking someone else's posts
madison: do we talk that loud?
finneas: you shout that loud. besides my room is right next to hers it's easy to hear everything
madison: it's not that big a deal
finneas: who's posts is it
madison: jah's
finneas: jah? as in jahseh?
i nod and he shakes his head
finneas: you guys are literally friends?
madison: exactly, she thinks i'm cheating on her with him
finneas: well as long as you aren't it's fine
madison: yeah i guess
finneas: she probably wants cuddles
i laugh and get up
madison: i'll go check on her
i walk upstairs and to her room
madison: babeeee
i knock on the door and she doesn't reply. i let myself in and am immediately disappointed when i see her.
madison: i thought we were quitting?
she just shrugs, brings the blunt to her lips and inhales deeply. i walk over to her and take the blunt from her. she scrunches her eyebrows at me and watches as i walk to the window and open it.
billie: ma wait
i look at her
billie: we're both stressed, there's so much going on. let it be our last. then we'll quit forreal. please?
i huff and then take a hit and give it back to her
billie: good girl, thank you.
i lay on her bed and she chuckles as she sits up
billie: remember when i cried at the start of the year? i didn't know what the fuck was coming
madison: are you busy this year?
billie: mhm
madison: with what
she hesitates, almost as if she was trying to make up a lie
billie: lots of interviews and shit. photo shoots and stuff
madison: oh, anything else?
billie: ..tour..
she mumbles and i look at her
madison: what?
billie: tour
madison: why is it such a big thing to hide?
billie: it's not
madison: then why'd you mumble
billie: i don't know
madison: you do know
billie: because..
madison: because why?
billie: because i'm scared they won't let you come
madison: billie it's fine if they won't let me come, what matters most is that you tell me these things or i'm gonna think you've gone missing for a whole year.
billie: i know.. i'm sorry. but i really wamt you to come
madison: it's gonna be good either way, you're gonna see your fans.
billie: i'm not good with long distant relationships ma
i sigh and look at her
madison: what are you saying
billie: i'm saying i need you for all the cuddles, kisses, hugs, sex, i need your presence, i need you there. i can't leave without you
madison: when are you leaving
billie: april
madison: day?
billie: 24th
madison: so we have a month together?
billie: yeah
madison: let's get this album out, do the experience the next night and then we'll see where everything else goes okay?
she nods. because we were going from place to place at the start of the year i didn't realise that all they were tryna do was get her used to it, and now i might not even be allowed to go. we go downstairs and i sit on the counter while maggie sits with billie on the dining table.
billie: mom
maggie: yes
billie: can maddie come on tour
maggie & finneas: what?
billie: can maddie come on tour
maggie: bil..
billie: you're gonna say no.
maggie: we have to get permission, it won't even take until april, it'll take longer. they have no reason to say no but they'll take all the time in the world to try and find one
i look at billie to find she's tearing up. she stands up
billie: it's not fair, claudia gets to go and they didn't have to get permission for her. why the fuck should we get permission?
finneas: you're younger billie, it's young love, something could happen and maddie might want to come back home. who's gonna pay for her flight?
billie: i will.
finneas: it doesn't work like that
billie: how about you shut the fuck up, it's not fair.
maggie: calm down
billie: IT'S NOT FUCKING FAIR
finneas: billie...
she stomps her way to the stairs then stops and turns to finn. she points at him
billie: shut the fuck up
she runs upstairs and we all sit in silence. we hear her footsteps again as she comes downstairs. she grabs my hand and walks me to the front door.
***
we both sit in her car as she just stares out the window. we had just come back from a short meeting about tour and press. basically, they said they would think about it and she went off, then they decided just because she was acting up and she didn't know any better, it was a no for now. they want to see maggie before they make an actual decision but billie didn't seem to care about that. she focused more on the no. she punches the steering wheel and i jump a little as i didn't expect it. she begins to drive and we pull up five minutes away from her house, at the park. she acts as if she doesn't care if anyone noticed her, putting her hair in a messy bun and getting out of the car. i follow after her, almost scared she didn't want me to. she sits on the swing and looks at me as i sit on the one next to her. nothing but silence. not hearing her voice was kinda hurting my brain.
billie: i'm sorry. i love you
madison: i love you.
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tenks 🥰
1296 words