Note: So I was writing this yesterday and it was too much to put into one chapter so this particular scene is going to be split into two. Also, I hope you guys enjoy the easter egg flashbacks in these next two chapters!
Episode: Season 15 - Carry On Pt. 5
Sharing an apprehensive look with my best friend, Sam took a tentative step towards his brother and reached around to place a hand on his back. My face paled when it came back stained a dark crimson, feeling a strange feeling of dread welling up inside of me.
Dean swore under his breath out of agitation and rage.
"Alright. Um... Hold on. Okay. Uh, we got you..." Sam was saying distractedly from beside me.
Stepping closer, my hands briefly went to cup either side of Dean's face, stubble scratching gently against my palms.
"Honey, we're gonna get you out of this. Alright?" I soothed my husband, my words a caress in themselves.
Together, Sam and I reached for Dean, about to attempt dislodging him from the apparent metal spike that was embedded in his back. Horrid thoughts swirled in my mind - what if we weren't fast enough? What if he couldn't be healed? Would he be paralyzed after this? Was that possible? But all of these disturbing images flitted away as soon as a cry of protest erupted from Dean's lips and instantly, Sam and I let go of him. We weren't helping - we would only make it worse.
"No, no, no, no, no! Don't... Don't... Don't move me. Don't move me. It feels like this thing's holding me together right now," Dean groaned before gasping slightly from pain.
Shushing him gently, I ran a hand through tiny tendrils of his blond hair comfortingly.
"Don't say that," I admonished him, the meaning behind his words scaring me more than I wanted to admit.
"Just give me... Just give me a minute..." Dean pleaded, letting out a shaky breath.
My gaze shot to Sam's, unsure of just what to do. So many bad things had happened to us over these years we'd been hunting - we'd even been hospitalized from a few bad scrapes we'd found ourselves in. But this...this felt different. I just couldn't imagine why...
"I'll call for help. I'll get the first-aid kit." Sam suggested, gesturing for me to come help him as he turned to leave.
"Sam, Parker!" Dean stuttered out immediately, stopping us dead in our tracks, "Stay wi... Stay with me. Can you stay with me, please?"
A feeling of nausea rolled over me, a gnawing pit of anxiety forming in my stomach. My skin felt cold all over, like someone had walked over my grave.
"Why...why, Dean? It...it's just a short trip to the ER, okay? You'll be fine. I'll even let Sam drive." I reassured him, feeling as if I was reassuring myself more.
"Alright. Listen to me. Um... You two get those boys and you get them some place safe, alright?" he told the both of us seriously between breaths.
I could feel myself slowly slipping into hysterics, not feeling as if I was really there. My chest constricted and I could feel a panic attack coming on.
Sam was visibly shaking beside me as he began to protest to his brother's commands, "Dean...we are gonna get them somewhere safe. All three of us,"
Slowly, the eldest Winchester shook his head, "No. You knew it was always gonna end like this for me. It was supposed to end like this, right?"
Tears began to well up in my eyes, even though I fought to control them.
Dean's smile was sad, rueful as it split across his face, "I mean, look at us. Saving people, hunting things... It's what we do."
"No..no! It-this...can't be happening! Not like this, not now!" I gasped out, shaking my head vehemently, "Stop, okay? Just... Just stop."
"It's okay, Parksy. It's okay. It's good...It's good." he reassured me, gentle and sweet.
A sob bubbled up from my throat, my vision blurring. No, please...please...I couldn't lose him....
"We had a great ride, man."
This last statement he directed towards his little brother who shook his head in response, as if he could shake this whole situation away. I wish that he could - that we both could...
"I will find a way, okay? I-I will find another way," Sam began to promise, tears welling up in hazel-brown eyes.
"No, man. No. No. No, no, no, no. No bringing me back, okay?" his green-eyed gaze locked on mine at the last part and I sucked in a breath, wanting so desperately to agree but finding myself at a loss to even nod my consent, "You know... You know that always ends bad,"
"Dean... Okay. Okay, p-please-" Sam protested, his voice shaking with effort.
"I'm fading pretty...I'm fading pretty quick, so...there's a few things that I need you to hear. That I need you both to hear. Come here. Let me look at you."
Hot tears were streaming down my cheeks as Sam took a step closer to him and Dean rested a hand on Sam's shoulder, "Yeah, there he is. I'm so proud of you, Sam.You know that I've always looked up to you. Man, when we were kids, you were so smar...smart. You never...You never took anything from dad. I never knew how you did that..."
Sam choked out a laugh between tears, the memories of his defiance of John's parenting still f fresh in his mind.
"You're stronger than me. You always have been. Hey, did I ever tell you...did I ever tell you that night that, uh...that I ca...that I came for you when you were at school? You know, when dad hadn't come back from his hunting trip?"
"Yeah, um... Uh, the Woman in White,"
"The Woman in White. That's right... I must have stood outside your dorm for hours...because I didn't...I didn't know what...what you would say. I thought you'd tell me to... to get lost or get dead. I don't think you ever knew what it meant to me when you came along..."
A teary smile lit up my face, if only for a moment as he recounted it back to Sam. I still had the memory locked inside my head.
"Dean, you know he's never gonna leave, right? I mean, not for you anyway. Who would? I wouldn't... I wouldn't go anywhere with you, for that matter."
Dean turned to face me where I sat on the car hood, probably messing up his new paint job...at least I hoped I was.
"Yeah? Then what are you even doing here?"
"Oh, I came for Sam...and the donut holes I found under the seat."
He shot me a scowl and I sent him a cheeky wink back before proceeding to climb off of Baby and follow him into the dormitory. Here goes nothing, right? Hm, I wonder if Sam had some donut holes...
Dean's eyes flitted to mine for a split second and he sent me a wobbly grin which I returned. No doubt the donut hole bit had resurfaced in his own recollections.
"Parker, come here...come here..." he beckoned me then.
Stepping closer, so close that I could see every fleck of green in the candy-apple swirl of his eyes, I could feel my heart shattering in my chest. This was goodbye. I knew it was...I couldn't make myself quite believe it, to know it was all ending, crumbling down around me inevitably. And I could do nothing to stop it. But none...none of that mattered now. All that mattered was that I was here for Dean, for my love. That I was here for him before he left.
It's all that mattered.