Evelyn
As much as I wanted to incite the protesting voice that was bottled in the back of my throat, to trail soundlessly behind so he wouldn't see me following, to simply ignore his plea and do what I wanted, I listened to his words. Dispute my deseraite feelings to go...I stayed.
Dominics words had snapped a shackle around my legs, causing my body to remain in an immovable place, halting my feet from following him. Why was I listening to him? He held no hierarchy over me, but yet I still felt forced to remain still.
Dominics eyes had a different look to them. His blue oceans were imploring, a hint of worry mixed with determination. He wasn't asking me to stay, he needed me too. It made me even more uneasy then I already was, so I decided that it was best to listen to him for once.
I made my way back to the courtyard, hoping I'd be able to meet up with Gemma again. My mind still had a hard time wrapping around the reality of her being here. Her being Immune. I was so brought back by it. Every beginning memory I could dig of Gem never tied to her being Immune. She was a high advocate follower of Detra Gov. Everytime I showed just a bit of distrust, she was left in dismay. Why would you ever question the government. A perfect society for perfect people, she would say. Was it all an act? I didn't know what to think of it all.
"Ev!" I felt a touch on my shoulder, and I turned around to see the auburn red haired girl behind me.
"Gemma!" I replied, a bit in shock. "I was--I was just looking for you."
"Evelyn what's going on? Why were their bells ringing? And...and Celeste left. She said it was an emergency."
Do I tell her? Would it scare her? I didn't want to make her think the troopers were there for the Immunes. They've all been through so much, I didn't want to add another worry to their plate. "I'm not sure. I think there's trouble in the woods."
"Oh." Gemma exhaled in relief. "Well I hope everything will be okay."
"Ya...me too." I couldn't help but think of Dominic. He used so much breath begging me to stay I hadn't anytime to ask him the same. Why did I care what happened to him? Just a few weeks ago he wanted to plunge a rake through my heart, but now...but now? Now I wasn't sure how he felt, nor I myself. After that night on the roof, all the hate between us seemed to turn into something else. Something more. Do you care about him? I wanted to swallow it back, but I couldn't suppress how I felt. Yes.
"Ev..." Gemma's voice softened and she held her head down, picking nervously at the skin on her fingers. "...I need to set things right with you. About everything. It wasn't fair of me to make you feel the way you did knowing I felt the same. I was just so confused about what I was feeling that a doubt to Detra still didn't seem right, even though I had many. I scolded you because I-I was afraid."
"Afraid?"
"I was afraid that maybe you knew about me, and that you were just trying to get something out of me so I could be arrested. I know it sounds ridiculous, and I know you're my best friend, and I should have trusted you, but I just couldn't find myself trusting anyone after learning about my powers."
"You're powers?" Confusion crashed over me like a wave. Did she just say powers?
Gemma's eyes widened, her mouth clamped shut, holding her tongue so she wouldn't say more. Her lips parted slightly, "Uh...ya. My Immune powers, you know."
I knew by the shakiness in her tone and the catch in her breath, that she was lying. Gemma was always a pretty good liar too, but this was an obvious bluff. The unimpressed cast painted on my face ripped through Gemma like a blade.
"Oh god." She groaned, "Celeste told me not to tell anyone, but you're my best friend, you deserve to know."
"Know?" I pushed
"That Im..." She pulled back her breath, giving herself a moment to exhale before speaking again, "I'm not just an Immune. I can do...other things. They call me a Deja."
A Deja? I'd heard Kyler talk about them before, but I didn't know much. Something about dreams and mood. "What...what can you do?"
"Well I--its kind of hard to explain." her eyes peeked over my head, scanning the area as if she was making sure no one was coming. "I don't know if I should but...Can I show you?"
"Um...sure." I replied cautiously. My curiosity overtook my rational thoughts. Should I be learning what she can do? Is she dangerous? It probably wasn't a good idea, something Cel and Dominic would advise me against. But then again, she was a Mind Wielder. She was like me. I wouldn't let myself be afraid of someone who struggles with similar power.
"Alright." Gemma sat down on a bench below her, gesturing for me to come to her side. As my body neared hers, she carefully cupped her fingers around my hand, hugging them tightly then holding them to her chest. She inhaled a sharp breath, then exhaled. And with that breath a wave of warmth traveled into my hands, crawled up my forearm to my neck, and flooded through my head. It was one of the weirdest l things I had ever felt, like a blanket of tempity covered my body. It felt good. So, so good. The beat of my heart slowed, and each lull of air I intook grasped a meaning to it. The air suddenly had a taste, like crystle water and sweet lavender mixed in a flask of red wine and honey. The treacherous pain climbing in my limbs deluged from me in an instant. Every speculation of worry in the world seemed to disappear into a cloud of distant thought. My body felt amazing, like that feeling you get right before you're about to fall asleep, the slowness of your pulse and the limpness of your nerves. Words couldn't come close to describing how nice this felt. But what was this exactly?
"How do you feel?" She said, her voice almost a nervous wreck.
"I feel..." the warmth continued to spread, and I closed my eyes to take it in. A comber of the temprid blaze pulsed into my system, and the taste on my tongue danced into my senses. "...I feel great." My words were breathy, even the thought of pushing them out robbed seconds from the enjoyment of this feeling.
"No, but how, do you feel?" Gemma tempted. How did I feel? Like roses and honey. Like the clearest oceans or the freshest lakes.
"I feel...Relaxed."
"Good. It worked." Gemma released her hands from mine, and forthwith a strong string of coldness that sent a shudder up my spine. I gasped in surprise, trying to comprehend my feeling. I went from having an anxious tug in my stomach to a swarm of butterflies in seconds.
"You changed my mood." my eyes met hers, realizing what she had done to me. When Kyler had described deja powers to me, it almost didn't seem real. Though I take a look at myself and conclude that anything could be possible.
"That's what I can do." Her voice held no excitement to it, not an ounce of inciation. Gemma looked down at her hands, studying the pulse radiating in her fingers, almost as if she were ashamed of her ability. I knew how she felt. I too was contrite about what I was capable of. I felt guilty of holding such power, like it didn't belong to someone like me.
I debated whether I should tell Gemma about my own faculties. Would she have felt comforted if she knew what I held? Would she feel less alone perhaps? I decided it was best to keep my curse a secret. I wasn't even sure if I'd even be able to use them again, I didn't know how to trigger them. What was I thinking offering help to Dominic with my powers? I had no idea how to activate them. The only way I was able to use them back at the Chamber was because of the stimulus injected in my veins. Before that, I hadn't even known what I possessed.
I took a look at Gemma, anguish steamed in her green eyes as she scolded herself for making me feel the way I did.
Maybe...just maybe. No, I yelled at myself, I can't. But what if I could? I could give my powers a try, nothing harmful. But to use them on Gemma? I could never. But then, she did use hers on me.
It would just be a trial. Nothing more nothing less. No harm if it works or if it doesn't.
"Go ahead." Gemma said, "Call me a monster...or a freak, or whatever you'd like. I've heard it all."
"No Gemma, I think...I think its kinda cool."
"It's not. Rather than the blessing it should be, it feels like a curse. I can't help myself from using it, and everytime I do I'm left with a sick feeling in my stomach. A feeling of guilt. I shouldn't be able to do this Ev." She picked up her head so her eyes met mine, a bridge of tears circled around the rim of her waterline, about to cascade any second. "This isn't right, it's not...it's not natural. I don't know what to do Ev. I feel so lost and confused." She sniffed a tear and shook her head, "I'm sorry. I--I don't know why I'm telling you all this."
I took Gemma's hand and held it in mine. I felt the heat of her body, the pulse of her wrist. You can do this Ev. "Gemma, it's okay." I inhaled a breath and shut my eyes, "Relax." I told her. I needed to channel my focus to her, remove all thoughts from my head and collide them with hers. But how would I do that? Focus, focus, focus. Nothing.
"Thanks Ev." She placed her other hand on top of mine that was holding her, and suddenly a tingle electricity jolted up my arm. I jumped back, my hand still pressed on hers, and Gemma eyed me with a look of pure confusion. In a single breath, I felt it. My mind was drawing closer to another force. My body heat was transferring into her hand, making its way to her head.
"Evelyn what are you--" Gemma tried to find her words, but they came out in a slur. "What are-are you do-doing" Her breath slowed, I felt her pulse flicker under my touch. I thought of the words the hexer said to me when I was in the Chamber.
"Give your thoughts to me." Immediately I felt regret. I felt like one of those things. I was everything they were and worse.
I sensed Gemma's thoughts mixing into my head. Her worries and desires drifted away so they only thing she could grasp was obeying the sound of my voice. Her thoughts weren't hers anymore...they were mine. Her prejudices and illusions, her conceptions and abstractions, were all mandated by me. I could steer her one way or the next, lead her anywhere I wanted. I hated what I've done. I hated it so much. But yet, it felt so good, so prestigious and so...so powerful.
"Gemma." My words wrapped in her head, "I want you to forget that you showed me your power. You remember telling me, but you never showed me what you could do, okay?" I didn't ask much of her, but I didn't want to. It was only a test.
"Okay?" I repeated myself to be sure. What had become of me? How could I do this to her? It was so unfair, not to me though.
"Okay." Gemma nodded, blinking her eyes absurdly slow. I lifted my hand off hers and I commanded my mind out of hers, a rush of coolness fell over the both of us. She shivered in response and let out a tired yawn, in a dramatic Gemma fashion. "Wow, I'm tired." She exclaimed, rubbing her eyes with the ball of her fists.
"Maybe you should get some rest." I felt like Dominic saying that.
"Maybe I will, if you escort me to the apartments. What was that we were talking about again?"
"Your powers."
"Oh...right. Can I show you?"
"No...no its okay." This felt very odd. I couldn't believe she actually forgot...I made her forget.
"Okay. That's fine. Please dont judge what I am Ev, I promise I will never use my ability and I-"
"Gemma, it's okay. I'm not going to judge you." I shot a soft smile.
"Thank you." She lifted her rosy cheeks, relief brushing her expression. "So Ev...that's enough about me. You need to tell me everything! How you got here, what you've been doing, I'm intrigued."
Gemma and I talked for what felt like hours. The sun faded away into a golden almost dark sky, and the breeze felt cooler on my skin. What I missed most about Gem was exactly this. Talking each other's ears off all day until sunset. It was nice having a friend like her, but I couldn't help to feel a tug at my heart knowing she distrusted me.
"So we were in the ring right, and her arm swung towards me, but I was quicker. I blocked her shot, and plunged my fist into her cheek. She fell out cold."
"You knocked her out!" Gemma's eyes lit up.
"I knocked her out!" Gemma's excitement reflected my own. I couldn't forget one of my first days here when I beat Valerie in the rumble. She hadn't shown her face near me since, I wasn't sure if she was embarrassed or entitled, but I sure didn't care.
"Who knew you had that in you Evelyn Kane." Gemma crossed her arms, the look on her face priceless with dismay. Oh, if only you knew.
Maybe I should tell Gemma? What would be the harm, she was my best friend. She told me my secret, so I felt it was only fair I should tell mine.
"Gemma, there's something I need to-"
"Oh my gosh, They're back!" Gemma bursted, pointing her finger over my shoulder. I turned my head to see the group of Rogues who had traveled into the forest, making their way back into the mainland. Each of them were bloodied, scratched up and dirtied by the forest floor, but they were alive, and that was all that mattered. Before they left, I counted each of their heads, just out of an anxious curiosity. There were thirty five. I led my finger over each of their heads once more, counting them off. One, two , three. My heart seized in my chest for a moment, my breath taken back by the bodies I counted the second time. Only thirty. And out of those five missing bodies, the two bodies I needed the most to be there, were gone.
Dominic and Celeste.
"No." I let out on a troubled breath. My limbs felt tight, stif in shock like I couldn't move. I shook off the feeling, and bolted towards the crowd of Rogues. Gemma, followed behind me. "Wait!"
As I entered the circle of bodies, wrenching noises of aching groans and curses oversought my presence. All I could hear was the pain of these people. I did this. This was because of me. My stomach felt sick, like I would hurl any second if I stayed too much longer. I couldn't bear what I was watching, I couldn't stomach this feeling of guilt climbing in my throat. I had to shake it off. I had to make sure Dominic and Celeste were okay.
His golden skin shone even off the dim dusk light of the sky. I could spot him from a distance away. I pushed through the bodies, they stenched of salty sweat and mud and the tight space they were hoarding in made it even more insufferable. It didnt matter though, I needed to get to Kyler.
As I reached him, I forcefully grasped my hand on his shoulder, and he turned to face me immediately in surprise. His face lip bleed with an open cut, and the bridge of his nose was lined with a darkened bruise, but other than that he seemed alright. Even with a few blemishes his skin remained flawless.
"Kyler." I panted worriedly, "Where's Dominic and Celeste?"
"What?" He was brought back, "They're not here?" His eyes widened, immediately peering around to catch a glimpse of his sister and friend. "When we retreated, they...they were right behind us I swear-"
Before I could hear him finish I found myself bolting towards the woods. I had no idea where I was going, or what I was heading into, but I just needed to find them. I needed them to be okay. Oh God, please let them be okay.
My heart exploded, I could hear its quick thumps beat in my ears. I wanted to puke, I wanted to fall to my knees, I wanted to cry, but I kept going. My feet brushed against the coarse forest floor as I scraped my skin cutting through branches of trees and swatting my arms past sharp bushes that blocked my way. The blood and the pain that followed didn't even bother me, I had to keep going.
Abruptly, my heart felt lifted from the ground as a cry wailed in the distance. I could recognize that voice anywhere. It was like sweet music to my ears, It was Celeste.
I pushed through the leaves, my feet carrying me faster than I could have ever imagined, following the sound of Celeste's voice as her plea was tugging me by a rope.
"Help, someone!" She cried louder.
I pushed against one more branch, and I froze. It was like the mid of my gut became numb, my heart trying to escape my chest. I felt like I was falling. An illusion of full vertigo at what I saw. I couldn't even swallow a breath of air.
Oh no. Please no.
Celeste sat on the forest floor, her eyes shot red with tears as they latched a worried look onto mine. Dominic laid below her, her fingers pressing onto the side of his ribcage, right below his heart. Blood seeped through the tips of her fingers, actually seeped would be an understatement. Blood flooded under her fingers. She applied as much pleasure as she could to the wound, but it didn't seem to help much. Dominic didn't move, his eyes remained shut and I could hardly make out the pace of his breath. No no no no no no no. he cant--he won't.
It pained me to break my stiffness, but I rushed to Celestes' side, throwing my hands on hers to let the blood sink in.
"Evelyn!" Her voice lifted as if I were a saint sent from heaven, "Can you help him? Can you fix this?"
I lifted my hands and gazed at the wound. His skin was a ghostly pale, the loss of blood draining the color of his lively skin. His flesh was abrupt, crimson blood pooling from the deep cut around pinkish swelling and the formation of welts. If the rake had moved any farther up, it would have killed him instantly. The cut was at a bad place being so close to his heart, and so deep in his skin.
Could I fix this? Was this treatable? The stab was so deep, there was a good chance the rake hit a vein or a major blood vessel. If he'd bleed out from that, that would give him approximately two to thirty minutes to live. If it hit a digestive organ, then maybe he has a few days. Whatever it hit, he should be dead. A wound like that would take a miracle to survive. God dammit, why do you have to get hurt! why do you have to always get fucking hurt!
" Can you fix it!" Celeste urged impatiently.
"I...I dont-" Tears started to near the edges of my eyes. What was I doing? Crying over him? Of course I was...I didn't want him to die. God, I didn't want him to die. I cried because I feared I couldn't save him...and it would be my fault.
"Don't say that!" Celeste shouted, her breath catching as she let the tears leak. Ive never seen her cry like this. Never.
The voice of Gemma suddenly echoed behind me, along with her weight crunching on the leaves of the forest floor. "Evelyn, where are you go-" She took one look at us and froze. "Oh my god."
"Cel?" Dominic's voice quavered as he picked his head up. Just hearing the sound of his raspy voice sent a flame of hope burning through me.
I was surprised he wasn't in shock after losing so much blood. If he wasn't in it yet, he'd be in it soon. Celeste was already with him so he knew she was there, but his vision wasn't quite clear enough to make out who I was. I was glad in a way. If he was going to die, I didn't want him wasting his last bits of breath scolding me why I shouldn't have followed him. But he's not going to die goddammit. You need to think Evelyn, you can fix this. Though the more blood that seeped through my hands, the more doubts I carried.
His voice was breathy in exhaustion, "Cel...I'm fine, let-let me up." Dominic arched his back off the ground to sit, but Celeste pushed her hand on his chest, slowly leading him down. "You're not getting up." She swallowed her tears to talk to him.
"But-but I need to get that bastard. He's not getting away with this hes-hes...after the hell he's put me through, he does this to me! I need to...I'm gonna kill him...I'm gonna kill him." He painted in short breaths, trying to push out as many painless words as possible. It broke me.
My hand pressed harder on his stomach, I wanted to tell him to stop speaking yet I was so intrigued by his words. Who was he talking about?
"I need-I need to get up."
"You're not fucking getting up Dominic!" Celeste roared, the tears now escaping her eyes, not caring is Dominic saw anymore. "I know you heal fast and all...but that's not going to save you. Not now!"
"I'm not dying by that bastard's hand!" He arched his head up one more time, but immediately let it fall back. His lips parted and he moaned a guttural growl that reeked of pure agony and pain. I couldn't even imagine how bad this wound could have felt. I didn't want to imagine it.
"Gemma!" Celeste eyes flashed hurriedly at her, "You can put him to sleep, can you not?"
Gemmas pressed her chin to her neck, her brows furled, "Yes...I can, but-"
"-I want you to. I want you to do it now."
"What? Is she a-" Dominic tried to look at Gemma, but couldn't find the strength to lift his head any further. "Your not-your not fucking putting me to sleep. I'm not allowing it, Celeste." he growled. I'd hardly ever heard him call her by her full name like that.
"Too bad. Gemma, now!"
Gemma rushed over, kneeling next to me over Dominic's body. She nervously glanced at me, though I was too busy trying to figure out what I could possibly do to fix this. Stitches? No he would bleed internally. He needed surgery, and I wasn't qualified for that nor did the Rogues have that kind of equipment. Think, Ev think.
Celeste held Dominic's colorless face in her palm, her eyes bleeding in pain. "I'm sorry for this Dom." She turned her head and ordered Gemma to do it. Gemma placed her hands on the sides of his head and closed her eyes.
"Oh no- don't you fucking dare you witch...dont you...dont....you..." He blinked slowly, trying so hard to hold his eyes open though it was as if a weight was tugging his lids down, and the rise of his chest began to slow immediately. As he was drifting off, Celeste held her head close to his, her tears rolling onto his skin.
"Please don't leave me Dom. Please don't." Her voice was soft, almost fragile like her heart would snap any second. I had almost forgotten the hardness of her tone in an instant, like a pound was pushing only her chest. Celeste never looked so innocent.
I had to fix this, I had to do something. This was my fault, if Dominic died it would be on me. My hands trembled over Dominics skin, a shrill of nerves shot into my system. Time was running quicker than my thoughts could plan a solution. I was beginning to lose hope in myself. A valley of tears rolled down my cheeks, my breath felt snatched, like a fist curled tight around my chest seizing the air from entering my lungs. I was panicking. Really panicking. Do something you damn fool. Do something.
That's when a thought rushed into my head like the spark of a flame. It was a risky thought, but I didn't have many options left. My powers.
I could heal his wound from the inside. Wound healing process is broken into four parts; blood clotting, inflammation, new tissue reform, and tissue remodeling. Dominics immune system already speeds up this process, but if I could somehow move his red blood cells to create collagen and make the process even faster, I could heal him.
I pressed my hand harder on his stomach, bringing my attention to the wound, focusing on the stream of his blood, the slow beat of his heart, the respiration of his lungs. I felt a warmth climb into my fingertips, the same warmth I felt back at the Chamber. I closed my eyes, under the darkness of my lids I saw red. I saw his blood.
"What is she doing?" Celeste's voice distraught my pivot, but I was able to retain it back.
"Shhh" Gemma hushed "let her work."
The warmth traveled into his body, and I clenched my hand gently over the wound. His cells and tissue were being tied together by the ribbon of my hands, a string of control moving the flow of his blood to repair the flesh. I had no idea if it was working, but my eyes remained shut, and my thoughts barreled into a steam of focus.
The warmth turned to a blaze, one that burnt the edges of my fingers and it sure heated his skin. I didn't care though, I had to push through and I was sure a slight burn was the least of his worries at the moment. My feverid touch pulsed in and out, a wave a force following each beat. In a moment, I no longer felt the wounded flesh, rather a layer of soft skin growing under the palm of my hand. It was working...I thought so at least.
The skin sealed, and feeling I could do no more, I lifted my hands from his body and opened my eyes.
My hands stained red with blood, and my vision whirled around my head. I felt sick. I wanted to collapse right there and fall asleep for eternity, but I had to make sure whatever I just did, worked.
I peered at what I had done, the flesh wound was nothing but scab of dried blood and treated sealed skin. It would leave a scar, though it looked as if nothing had even plunged into his stomach. Did I do it? Did I heal him?
My gaze rushed over Dominics body. He laid still, his head tilted to the side, his sharp jaw pointing towards me as his hair laid messily over his forehead. He was covered in a cold sweat, his eyes swollen shut and his skin lost all its ounces of life. He looked like a corpse, but even then he still looked beautiful.
He was still , not a single movement or signal of life. I had begun to think maybe he was a corpse. Was I too late? Did I take too long?
No...I'm too late. No, oh no.
"Dominic no...no please don't." My breath was ragged, shallow gasps as I grabbed the sides of his cheeks and turned his face towards mine. His skin was so cold, an icy numbness on my touch. I blinked a tear out of my eye, and I watched as it fell onto his cool skin. I brushed my hand over his forehead, moving his hair from his eyes so I could see his face. His brows weren't clenched and his nose wasn't scrunched, he didn't seem in pain...he seemed at peace.
"I'm—im so sorry Dominic." I held his head to my chest, broughing my head in his hair as I let the flow of tears trail down my cheeks. "I couldn't save you. I tried but I-I couldn't."
This was my fault. All the dreams he had to save to people of Detra, the life a born leader ahead of him crushed in an instant. By a stupid stab wound. Though I wasn't there to fight, I felt like it was me who stuck that blade in his stomach. I killed him.
I didn't know what to do. I needed him. God how I hated admitting I needed him but I did. And now...now he's gone.
"Wait...Evelyn look!" Celeste cleared her throat and pointed at Dominics body.
I picked up my head, my eyes burned from my tears ,everything still was so blurry. My sickness hadn't faded, if anything it felt worse. A feeling of guilt is just as bad, if not worse than illness.
But then, my heart lifted instantly. It was just a simple sound, but one that pulled all hope back into my arms. I heard it. It was a soft pace, barely audible, but it was there. I heard him breathing. Oh my god I heard him breath.
I watched his chest slowly rise and fall as he took in swigs of cool air. It was like a miracle. He was dead...he had to be dead.
But I was wrong. I saved him.