This is my own original idea
On Jonghyun's 3 year anniversary of death 👼🏻
I lost my beautiful husband, Jonghyun 3 years ago from suicide. I was completely and utterly heartbroken as I loved him so much. I still do of course. We were married for a year and a half. I found him dead on the kitchen floor. I was 5 months pregnant at the time. I found out I was pregnant 3 months before Jonghyun died. It was the happiest moment of our lives. We have always wanted to have a baby. Our son Joohyuk is now 2 years old. He'll be 3 in April. He never got to meet his father which is heartbreaking but I tell him about him everyday. Jonghyun would've loved Joohyuk. He would've loved him so much. He would've been an amazing father if he got to meet our boy. I feel like a bad wife not noticing Jonghyun was mentally ill. He didn't want to worry me as I was pregnant at the time. I would do anything to have him back and to meet our son. Jonghyun is an amazing dad from up there. I will never love again like I love him. It's Jonghyun's anniversary of death today. 3 years since he passed away. Joohyuk won't understand anything as he's too young. I've been feeling sad today as it's his anniversary. We went up to his grave to put up some flowers and blow him a kiss. I am in bed waiting to fall asleep. Joohyuk is all tucked up in his own bed but sometimes he likes to sleep with me. Just as I was about to fall asleep, my bedroom door opens and Joohyuk walks in. "What's the matter, sweetie?" I say. "Can't sleep, eomma" he said rubbing his eyes. "Okay how about we have a cuddle and you can fall sleep with me" I say. He lift Joohyuk into bed next to me. He looks sad. "You look sad, baby boy?" I say. "I want Appa" he said. "Appa is looking down on you from heaven. He will be so proud of you. He loves you so much" I reply. "Okay" Joohyuk says. He snuggles up to me and I cuddle him. "I love you so much. You are my world, Joohyukie" I say. I kiss him. He grabbed my phone out of my hand. He does that when he wants to look at pictures of Jonghyun. I show him the same ones over again. I can see him smiling as I show him pictures of his daddy. Soon Joohyuk was tired and fell asleep in my arms. Bless that's my boy
Jonghyun and I got married on a beautiful day at the beginning of June 2016. We had the most beautiful and amazing wedding day with our friends and family. We didn't want it to end. Our wedding day was the most magical day of our lives. It makes me sad thinking about it and he's no longer here. I keep a framed photo of us on our wedding day by my bedside. I look at it and kiss it every night before I go to sleep. Joohyuk does sometimes too. I am thinking about the moment just after Jonghyun and I got married. "Baby, I can't believe we are now married. You're my wife and now I'm your husband" he said to me. "Oh yes you are. I can't believe we are married too. Best moment of my life" I replied. "I love you and I will love you forever" Jonghyun smiled. "I will love you forever too, my hubby" I smiled. We shared a kiss just before our reception. Reminiscing about when we got married. It feels like a lifetime ago. My beautiful husband is looking down on me everyday
I found out I was pregnant in September 2017 just 3 months before Jonghyun passed away. It was one of the happiest moments of our lives. Just behind getting married. I remember every second of finding out our wonderful news. I was getting sick and I missed my period so I knew I was pregnant and we were trying for a baby too. I told Jonghyun earlier on that day and he picked me up a couple of pregnancy tests on his way home. He picked me to the tests and i took the tests. "I'm so excited to find out if you're pregnant, jagiya" Jonghyun said. "I know me too. I definitely think I am" I reply. He followed me into the bathroom. I sat on the toilet and peed on the stick. Jonghyun stood by my side as we waited for the test to come back positive. A few minutes later it displayed a positive. "I'm pregnant" I said. "You're pregnant, jagiya. I can't believe it" Jonghyun exclaimed wrapping his arms around me. "I'm so so happy. We are having a baby, Jonghyunie" I say. "We are. We are going to be parents and I'm so happy. I'm going to be a father" Jonghyun said jumping up and down. "Awwww this is so incredible" I say. We hugged it out in the bathroom for a while celebrating our baby news. We told our families and the SHINee guys not long after and they were so happy for us. Little did I know I would've lost my husband just 3 months after finding out I was pregnant. So heartbreaking that Jonghyun wasn't here to meet our son. I know that's he's watching Joohyuk from heaven
Joohyuk was born April 11th 2018. Just 4 months after his father died and just 3 days after what would've been his fathers 28th birthday. It was so hard giving birth to our first child without my husband being by my side. We had the whole birth planned out. Jonghyun was going to be by my side. He would've met his newborn son straight away. Instead my mom was by my side when I gave birth. It was great but I would've loved Jonghyun by my side. He was so excited to become a father. His life was taken from him just a few months before. I still don't believe his death was intentional. When baby Joohyuk was born I got to hold him. My mom wanted to give me a few moments with my new baby. "Hello, sweet boy" I smiled. Joohyuk looked at me as much as new babies can focus. "Unfortunately your daddy isn't here anymore. He's looking down on you from heaven and he would've loved you so much with all his heart. He was the most amazing man I knew" I say. I touched Joohyuk's sweet face and smiled at him. Tears came to my eyes as I held my new born son and memories of my husband came flooding back. I could see a glimpse of Jonghyun in Joohyuk when he was born. I still see traits in him now that he's older. He's like his daddy. It was a really emotional time for me when Joohyuk was born knowing that I was going to be a single mother and knowing he was never going to meet his father. I know Jonghyun would be proud of me, the way I have raised Joohyuk on my own for almost 3 years. He would be so proud of both of us
Back in the present day and it has just been Christmas. Me and my family made Christmas very special for Joohyuk. It is his third Christmas. Christmas was even harder this year without Jonghyun. Every Christmas has been so hard without him. The first one was especially the hardest as he died only a week before Christmas Day. I couldn't eat or sleep for weeks. I almost lost our baby boy. I knew I was going to be a mom not long after I lost my husband. Anyway we enjoyed Christmas this year with our families. We are over at Jonghyun's family home now. It is important that Joohyuk gets to see his grandparents and aunt on his dads side even though he is no longer here. I was always close with Jonghyun's family. They have been lovely to me over the years. They are family. They bought Joohyuk lots of presents this year of course. He's such a special little boy and deserves the world. "It's so nice that you two could be here today" Jonghyun's mom said. "Well we wouldn't miss it for the world. You all mean so much to us and Jonghyun" I reply. "You mean so much to us" Sodam smiles. Joohyuk is intrigued in his new train set from his grandparents. His grandad is playing with him now. "I see so much of Jonghyun in him, Y/ N. You have raised an amazing little boy entirely on your own" Jonghyun's Mom said. "Awww thank you. He is like his father and I wish everyday he was here to see him and how amazing he is. I wish I would've been a better wife to him" I say. "Y/ N, you were the best wife in the world to my brother. He was mad about you right from the moment he met you. I knew you were the one he was going to marry" Sodam said. I smile. Joohyuk carries on playing with his new train set till we had to go home. We had a great time seeing Jonghyun's family today. I miss my husband so much everyday and I will never ever stop missing him. He was the best husband in the world and would've been the best father in the world to our little boy. Jonghyun will forever be in our hearts
A/ N: I can't believe this angel of a human has been gone 3 years. The world isn't the same with our Jonghyun. He was so talented and handsome and had the voice of an Angel. Such a loss to the world. He will forever be in our hearts. I think he was my bias in SHINee now. Such a beautiful man
I really enjoyed doing this as imagine. I had to do one where his wife was left behind with a child. This one was kinda hard for me to write as I'm going to be loosing my mum soon