I laughed slightly turning over on my bed on the phone. "I just don't know how he got that score,"
"Maybe he just cheated," Billie suggested.
"There's no way he could've cheated. Y'know how strict they are in even little tests. Everyone's phones was in their bags, our bags weren't with us-"
"-Maybe he didn't put his phone in his bag?"
"Maybe... but still, it would have been obvious to spot if he was on his phone,"
"Are you sure you're not just angry about how high he scored because of your test results?"
I breathed out. Sitting up. "Maybe I am,"
"A-"
"-But I just don't understand how he doesn't know anything he's doing when he's teaching me things. I know everything he's trying to tell me is wrong. At this point I'm tutoring him. But he still got ninety two and I got...."
"....thirty six?"
"Thirty six. Y'know- it's just not fair. I put so much effort into showing everyone I wasn't stupid, and now I've came up showing them exactly what they thought,"
"You're not stupid. A test result doesnt determine your smarts. Besides, you still got the CD?" He reminded.
"It wasn't just for the CD Billie. I wanted to give you something into proving I wasn't a lost cause. I wanted to do it as a big fuck you to everyone who thought I was,"
"I know Mal-"
"-You don't,"
"I do, trust me on that I do,"
I took a deep breath in. Asking. "How?"
"You don't think I was the same? I want to help you so much because I know how shit it feels when everyone thinks you've got no potential. I reminded you how much I knew you could do these things because that's what I needed," He explained, very very briefly.
The line was quiet as I took in what Billie said. "So what were you like in school?"
"Well..." He started. "I can't even describe in a better way than like you. Just getting into trouble for the hell of it. It's fun until everyone wants you to start getting serious,"
"Did you?"
"Wanna know a secret?"
I smiled against the phone. "Go on then,"
"I dropped out,"
"What!?"
"Jeez! Don't have to deafen me!"
"So you dropped out but I can't!?"
"I dropped out for my band!"
"And you were still successful!"
"Are you in a band!?"
"Are you!?"
He went silent one. I waited patiently for him to answer being still, even with movement, for a few second before I thought he might've hung up.
I checked the phone, no. He was still there. Just very quiet. "Billie Joe?"
"Can I tell you another secret?" He laughed slightly.
I scrunched my nose, furrowing my eyebrows confusedly. "Another one?
"Yeah,"
"Okay... lets hear it,"
"Y'know the CD I gave you?"
"Thats the secret?" I asked defeatedly.
"No- Mallory. Be quiet,"
"Sorry. Yes, the CD. What about it?"
"Did you ever listen to it?"
I stared over at my shelf. I couldn't see what was on it from the angel I was at. But I knew it was there. I put it there in hopes I would forget it.
I didn't play it when I got it because I didn't know if I had earnt it.
Now with my thirty fucking six. I knew I didn't deserve it. So I hadn't even picked it back up since first leaving it there.
"No," I admitted.
His voice sounded surprised, and with a little hint of pity directed to me. "Why?"
"Well when I first found it in my locker I waited all day to listen to it. Y'know, I was really excited. I don't know what changed. I got home and I put it in the CD player. But I realised that maybe I wouldn't get the test results and I shouldn't listen yet. So I quickly turned it off and waited. then obviously with my score... I didn't think I deserved to listen to it. Like I hadn't earnt the right. I've still not listened to it. Its just sitting on my shelf,"
"Do you plan on listening to it?"
"I'm retaking the test, not out of choice of course, I'm hoping I'll get better then a stupid thirty six,"
"Y'know you can listen to it whenever you want-"
"-But we had a deal and-"
"-The deal doesn't matter anymore. Mal you tried hard and I saw you did. That's all I ever really wanted. You can listen to the CD when ever- even now if you wanted to,"
I stayed silent. My eyes fell on to the shelf on my wall where I new the CD was. I would be a liar if I was to say I didn't want to listen to it. I wanted to listen to the CD more than anything in this world. I know I hadn't exactly 'earnt' it like I or he wanted me to. But I had it now. The real thing.
"Mallory?"
"Huh? Yeah, one minute Billie,"
"Okay?"
He sounded confused as I placed the phone down on my bed, not ending the call, as I got off it. Making my way over to the shelf.
I pushed myself on to my tip toes feeling for it, but all I got was dust.
"C'mon you fucker," I grunted.
Cautious of Billie still being on call, I gave up. Instead I quickly grabbed my desk chair. Standing on it carefully before I could spot the CD. I grabbed it quickly jumping down before I rushed back picking the phone back up hearing Billie humming.
"Back," I said, looking down at the CD. "So these guys on the CD with you... those are the people I met in the café right?"
"Mike and Tre? Yeah-"
"-So... I never got to ask you this since I was in the middle of being tutored and Tyler kept rushing me but... how come you're with them again? I thought you mentioned that you hadn't seen them in ages?"
"Well... we did side track but, that was kinda the other secret I wanted to tell you," He stated, somewhat nervously.
And his lack of confidence, made me a little worried too. "...What?"
"Well-"
"-Wait! Is it bad? Is it something bad? If its something bad I-"
"-No Mallory its not bad,"
I sighed. "Okay... go on then,"
"Are you busy?"
"Thats the secret?"
"What- No! No that's- that's not the secret, just- well are you busy?"
I smiled slightly. "I'm not busy as of right now, no,"
"Let me pick you up,"
I looked outside, it was dark but my curtains were open. I would most likely have to leave through the window bearing in mind my parents wouldn/t let me it at this time. "Alright Armstrong,"
"I'll be over in ten,"
~
Ten minutes was a lie, it took him fifteen but never the less he still came.
I climbed out my window carefully, cautious of how slippy the pipes were since it had been raining earlier on today. But it was easier to slide down them.
I reached the ground, spotting Billie stood outside his car as he smiled over at me.
I hadn't really got changed in to any 'nice looking clothes', Billie never even told me what I was sneaking out for. So I walked over to him, smiling back course, in a baggy red hoodie and black jeans I had sat around in all day.
"So what have I snuck out for exactly?" I asked him as he climbed back into his car, and I took passengers seat.
"Well, on the topic of what I want to tell you. There's also some things I want you to see,"
"Where are 'these things'?"
He smiled slightly starting the car up, so his eyes weren't at me. "At mine,"
"So in other words... you're taking me to yours?"
"Yes- but! It's only because there's some stuff I wanna show you I kept. On the topic of things I thought it would be a great time,"
The car started to move as I watched my house slowly revise away from us. Until he turned the corner at the top of my road and I couldn't see it anymore.
I smiled, looking back over at him. "Alright, then can I know the secret?"
"Well by then the secret probably won't be hard to guess but if you haven't pieced it together already-" he looked over at me as he took a hand off the steering wheel. "-Yes Mallory I will tell you the secret," he patted my head, exaggerating my smartness if I was to not get the secret.
I hit his hand away, cautious he was still driving. "Billie careful!"
"Relax." He laughed slightly, his hand went to his side as he drove with one hand. "See? No biggie,"
Although these roads were normally empty, especially considering the hour it was. Its not like things were clear to see in the dark. But then again I didn't drive, I wouldn't know how hard it would be to drive one handed in the dark.
"You're gonna make the car drive unsteady down the road with only one hand," I sighed slightly, resisting the urge to chuckle.
"What? Like this?" He moved the steering wheel let to right, the car moving sharply down the road zig zagging.
I grabbed the door handle keeping myself steady laughing. "Billie stop it!"
He looked over giving me a boyish grin, before he stopped and I was able to lean back in the car seat again.
Knowing it scared me, he did do it a few more times during the drive to his house unexpectedly. As much as it was funny I found it equally as scary.
When we finally reached Billies house, which was more of a drive than I had thought, he pulled into the drive way of a large house, I stared through the car window at in in awe. Definitely bigger than my house, in fact every house on my block.
The reason he must've lived such a drive away was because he lived in the 'posh' side of town I would call it. Didn't exactly mean everyone around here was posh, but their houses sure were.
It was sort of like his car. How when I first saw the car he drove I thought:
This is definitely a shout to everyone he passes that he has more money then he needs.
And his house? Maybe the same thought. Or maybe he really did just like to live in a huge house... alone?
"Huge house," I mumbled feeling the car come to a stop.
"Meh." He shrugged, leaning towards the space between us as he undid his seat belt.
I followed his actions unclipping mine, before he jumped out the car and I followed.
It was way more colder outside then I last had remember. To say I had a hoodie on it certainly was freezing. What time even was it now?
We walked up to his front door, he already pulled out his keys. I stood behind him slightly and silently shivering whilst he unlocked the door. Finally once he did, he walked in inviting me to follow behind him.
He turned on the light above us shutting the front door. I was pretty quiet, just looking around.
"So what is it I'm here for?" I asked him as he lead me into what seemed to be the living room.
"You're so impatient,"
"I know, so what is it?"
"I'm showing you,"
"Okay!" I stuck my hands up defence. "I'll wait,"
The tour didn't end in his living room. He walked me through the room, to a door. Seemingly feeling like a horror movie of some sort when he opened it to see a load of stairs. Stairs that made their way into the dark, no light at the bottom.
I laughed slightly. "Your basement?"
"It's in the basement,"
"You're not gonna kill me down there... are you?"
He chuckled under his breath walking in front down the stairs. "I should consider,"
"Thanks Billie,"
He turned, to see I was still at the top of the stairs. "C'mon,"
"Alright!" I quickly made my way close behind him down the stairs. "And you talk about me being impatient,"
He turned the light on as we reached the bottom of the stair case, revealing his basement... didn't actually look as 'basementy' as I thought.
It was just like another modern room. With a TV on the wall, sofa- even a dart board.
The walls were all painted a clean shade of light grey, on the walls were shelfs that held boxes full of vinyl's. And I mean... boxes, and boxes, and boxes.
He had a CD rack in the corner. With CDs all slotted in, there wasn't any space that didnt have one in.
Also on the walls, which was hard to miss, were guitars hung. Three to be precise.
A fender bass guitar, its colour red. Two electrics, one was plain black but another one seemed to be his main trophy.
It was just a normal average guitar, light blue specifically. But It was centre to the other two, stickers decorating it with the letters 'BJ' taped. The exact guitar I had seen used countless times in the photos I found that time I was searching through Billies past.
Only now I was seeing the oh so famous and signature guitar in person. Right in front of me.
I walked closer to the guitars, getting a better look.
"Is this one special or something?" I asked him confused, turning around to spot him stood on a chair flicking through the box of vinyl's on the shelf.
He shrugged with one in his hand. "I guess you could say that,"
"So that means it is,"
"Blue,"
"What?"
"Its blue,"
"Yes Billie. I know colours-"
"-No you nimrod," He shook his head putting the vinyl back as he continued to look for a specific one through the one box. "She's called blue,"
"Thats really creative Billie... naming the guitar the colour that it is,"
He was really determined to find something in the boxes. He shifted the chair beginning to look through the other one as I looked around the rest of the basement.
He looked for a while, I spoke to him from another seat besides the chair he stood on. But after a whole long of a wait, he found the thing he had been looking for.
"Y'know how easy it would be to just push you off that chair right now," I mumbled.
He paused from looking, staring down at me questionably. "Please don't?"
"I'm just saying," I shrugged.
"Ah right. And that's why you made out like I was trying to kill you by bringing you down here,"
"What are you even looking for? You've been flipping through those vinyl's for forever," I asked throwing my head back leaning on the wall.
Once I realised he wasnt answering, I lifted it back up looking at him.
He pulled one out, swiping the dust off it as I watched the little particles float away.
"What is it?" I asked standing up.
He jumped down beside me. "Here, look,"
I took the vinyl from his hands before he got back up on his chair. I walked away slowly observing it confusedly.
"Is this the warning albums vinyl?"
"You bet,"
"How many..." I trailed off looking up from the sleeve.
"How many?"
"How many... well... y'know... other albums did you guys make?"
"C'mere," He told me from standing on the chair. I looked at him confusedly as he held out his hand.
As much as I wasn't sure why, I wasnt one to necessary question Billie. Well, sometimes not anyway.
I took his hand as he stood back pulling me carefully on to the chair with him. Where we were both very restricted from moving around.
My face was close to his as I turned to look at him, pulling my face back slightly. "Why am I up here then?"
"Here, look,"
I felt him spin me around by his hands on my waist. Meaning My back was to his chest as I looked over at the boxes with the vinyl's in. The warning one still in my hand.
Billies arms stretched over me, his chin resting gently on my shoulder as he flicked through, pulling one out and turning it around. "Here's another one," He whispered taking it out. I stared at the design on it. All the drawings on the front and doodles of things going on with in the background, "Here, take it for a moment,"
"Alright?"
I took it from his hand. Holding it with the other on in the same hand as he flicked through again. Before another one. "And this one,"
I nodded, taking the white one from him which had a drawing of a girl holding a gun.
Then another one, of a girl standing under a tree. Then another one, which looked as if to be in painting style of art. Like a man with a violin with an x ray to his chest and girl holding a guitar. Then there was one of two men, but a yellow circle covering their faces. The word 'nimrod' in black letters in the circle.
When he was done handing me albums, we jumped down from the chair as I had a chance to look with more detail.
With each and every single one of the ones he handed me all containing their band name on the cover. I was pretty certain that all of these were their albums. All six of the vinyl's I held.
I looked up, over at Billie who was trying to get a bullseye at darts while he waited.
"These were all yours?"
He nodded, aiming the dart.
"Billie put the dart down,"
"I can do this one- I just gotta aim at-"
"-Billie I-"
"-I can just watch-"
"-Billie!"
He already threw the dart. Completely missing the whole fucking board as It indented a little hole in the wall falling to the ground. Thats when I realised how many other more missed darts the wall had been a victim to.
"You made me miss!"
"Oh fuck off you wouldn't of gotten that even if you tried your hardest,"
"You don't know that,"
"Well anyway... as I was saying..." I started as he picked the dart rom the floor, quickly pushing and leaving it in a random spot on the board. Before walking over as he stood behind the sofa I was sat at, I turned a bit to look at him. "You guys published all these?"
Billie stretched his arms out taking them from my lap. "This ones kerplunk," He said, before moving it to the back. "That ones Dookie," Then again. "Thirty nine smooth, Nimrod, insomniac... and... warning,"
"All those songs and you guys just quit the band?"
He dropped them back in my lap, His elbows leaned on my shoulders. His hands hung over me as he spoke behind me. "You don't necessary quit a band Mallory,"
"So then what happened?"
"We split up, like I've told you. We had issues down the line and the band disappear,"
"Why would you let that disappear?"
He stared at me confused. "Huh?"
"You had six whole studio albums published. You had fans obviously, you had tours to go on, things to do, more songs to write and preform. How could you let that just disappear?"
"I guess I was just a little stupid,"
"You're not stupid," I pouted, moving the vinyl's beside me on the sofa before I twirled around on my knees, my hands on the sofa back rest as I looked up slightly at him, his arms not moving from hanging over my shoulders.
"Well what would you call it?"
"You're not stupid. You act a little childish yeah, but- stupid? You're just too in the moment. You dont think about whats going to happen later on. Like dropping out, loosing a band, yada yada. You just get caught in the time," I shrugged. "Not thinking ahead. Or of consequences,"
A smile absorbed his face when I looked down at his lips.
I scrunched my face up confused. "What? Why are you smiling?"
"Y'know who that kinda sounds like... getting lost in the moment and not thinking about the consequences. Or their future? Or anything but whats happening right there and then?"
I had an Idea. "Who?"
He shook his head. "You," He whispered. "I told you I was the same,"
"Billie, you still are the same,"
He chuckled slightly. "Guess I am,"
The both of us were silent and still. I was still kneeling on his sofa, his arms still leaning on my shoulders standing at the back of the sofa looking at me.
I didn't know what to say. I couldn't find the words. Like... for the first time in a long time I was sort of tongue tied. And even if I did find the right words, I don't think I would even know how to say them. Seems like once again I've forgotten how to speak.
"Y'know," He finally spoke up shifting slightly on his standing position, "We could be so compatible together,"
Could, not would. Taking note on the word could, like it couldn't happen. If this wasn't this, then we could. I he wasn't my teacher, then we could, be compatible.
"You think?"
"I do,"
"Why's that?"
"I keep you from doing stupid decisions, you save me from mine,"
"How do I save you from...?"
"Y'know the secret I wanted to say?"
"Oh... yeah?"
"I was thinking a lot about what you said that night I took you out. I thought about it all a lot. A lot a lot. And you were right,"
"I was? About what?"
"Mike, Tre and I met up, as you know, we spoke a lot and..."
I straightened my posture, excited if he was about to say what I thought.
"...We're gonna give Green Day another shot,"
I squealed. Wrapping my arms around him as he hugged me back. Lifting me over and off the sofa spinning me in his arms as I cheered. "This is amazing! I'm so happy! I can't believe this- this is amazing!"
He dropped me back to my feet quickly pulling away with a large beaming smile of happiness. "I thought you may have been happy by that,"
"Happy? Happy's an understatement!"
He smiled again, kissing my cheek before he hugged me again squeezing me tight.
It confused me at first, he had never just randomly given me a kiss with out any reasoning. Just casually like he had just then. But I wasnt angry about that, it took me a little by surprise before I smiled too, though he couldnt see it, hugging him back tighter.