"I just can't." I sigh.
"You can do it Liv." Brad smirks and looks at me intently.
"Nope. I just cannot." I pout and I rest my head on my arms, "It's just too much brain power."
"You have two left." You have to pull through." He circles his thumb on my hand and I glare at him.
"Easy for you to say, you've passed all of these exams. Me, I am dying right now. And to make matters worse, I am still going to lectures for this semesters work as well. My brain is fried."
"Talk about over dramatic, we've only been back for a week and it's only introduction classes." He laughs.
"Still draining." I retort and he sighs.
"Yeah okay fair enough. Tomorrow you'll write one, then its weekend and then Monday you'll write your last one. You've got this." He gets up and he walks to my side of the table, "Let's go get some lunch." He drags me off my chair and I just have zero energy however, I can do with some food right now.
"MacDonald's or Starbucks?" He asks whilst putting on his shoes.
"Starbucks." I reply grabbing my keys. Before I open the door, he grabs my hand and pulls me into him. I glance up and his eyes are gleaming as he places his hand on the side of my neck. I stand up on my tiptoes and I kiss him, only for his phone to interrupt us.
"Dammit." He looks irritated as he grabs his phone and studies the screen. His face turns serious and in a split second it looks as if he is angry but he masks it very quickly.
"I have to go." He pecks me and storms out of my apartment. Something is going on with him and the secrecy has got to stop. I sigh as I close the door and I fall on my bed. I guess Starbucks isn't going to happen, there goes my vanilla latte and toasted bacon and cheese. I shut my eyes for a split second and then there's a knock on my door. I lazily get up and as I open the door, Nick is leaning on the door frame. Seriously, he can't go a week without talking to me. I thought we were making some progress.
"Nick." I say and he brushes past me and invites himself into my apartment. Not even surprised.
"I had a thought." He leans on the kitchen counter and he intensely stares at me.
"Oh no." I roll my eyes.
"No, I swear its a good one this time, Liv!" He smirks.
"I'm listening." I lean on the opposite counter and we both just stare at each other. My eyes briefly goes to his plump, smirking lips and then back up to his grass-green eyes.
"We simply cannot, not be friends you know." He states.
"Why do you say that?" I shrug and before he can answer, my stomach immediately starts grumbling. I really am hungry. Nick looks down at my stomach and then back up at me.
"Come on, we're going to Starbucks. You need to eat." He motions me to the door and I roll my eyes. I really am hungry and I think being stubborn right now won't do me good. Besides, maybe after I've eaten I might feel differently about killing him. Maybe I'll just injure him then, not kill him.
"Are you thinking of all the ways you can kill me?" He interrupts the silence in the car and I glare at him.
"Maybe." I shrug. I don't think he gets the concept of us not being friends. He gazes back to the road and he slowly places his hand on my leg.
"Nick, remove your hand or I will rip it off and beat you to death with it." I push his hand off and I know he's only doing this to get a reaction out of me.
"So that's how you want to kill me? Technically, if you had to rip my hand off I'll bleed out so I'll die of natural causes instead." He cockily remarks and he smirks.
"Shut up."
"Make me." He retorts. We stop at Starbucks and the aroma of coffee instantly puts me in a better mood, we order and take a seat in a secluded booth, staring at each other.
"So why can't we not, not be friends exactly?" I raise my eyebrow.
"Look Liv, I know I might not be your favorite person today." He pauses.
"What are you talking about. You're not my favorite person on any day." I raise my eyebrow and lean back on my chair. He shrugs.
"Fair enough." He admits with a slight smile and he leans forward with a smirk, "But-."
"Of course there's a but." I roll my eyes and before he speaks, the waitress brings our food. This juicy, melted cheese and bacon toasted is heaven right now.
"You never looked at me the way you looking at this toasted sandwich right now, Liv. I'm hurt."
"Shut up." I bite into the goodness and yeah, definitely the highlight of my day. I watch Nick and he rolls his eyes as he digs into the giant piece of chocolate cake in front of him. Man, I wish I ordered that as well.
"So, cut to the chase Nick." I say in between bites and he clenches his jaw and clears his throat.
"I understand that we are both seeing other people, I understand that I cannot ask about your sex life otherwise I'll get kicked out of the car aga-."
"Oh please, we both know you took a taxi home, so dramatic." I interrupt and he rolls his eyes. I motion him to continue while I finish my toasted.
"Anyways, I get that I've hurt you but I'm not ready to just throw away our 15 to 16 years of friendship because I'm-.
"A dick?" I raise an eyebrow and he rolls his eyes.
"Yes, I am one, but we all know this. It still doesn't change the fact that I love you and our friendship means so much to me. I am with Kim yes, and I am going to make it work and if you want to be with that prick then I will try my best to-." He pauses, clenches his jaw and briefly closes his eyes and opens them again, "I will try my best to support the two of you, as long-."
"Of course there is a condition. Why am I not surprised Nick?" I lift my hands in the air and he lays back in his chair.
"Liv, just eat the damn cake and listen to me." He pushes his left over chocolate cake to me. I'm definitely doing a happy dance on the inside.
"I just. I just get a weird feeling from him. Something is not right." He says and he seems serious. I remember how he just stormed off and how things went down at the lake and I do agree to a degree but still.
"Anyways Nick. What do you want to do now?" I ask taking my last bite of his cake.
"Well for starters, I didn't want you to finish the entire cake." He rolls his eyes, "Anyways, why don't we just meet up once a week and check in with each other and see how it goes. I need you in my life Liv and quite frankly I'm not asking you, I'm telling you." He mumbles and I feel quite at peace with this situation. We not fighting, I only have to see him once a week and that seems fair I suppose.
"Well." I protest and his face falls.
"Every time we try to make it work it just get's screwed up Nick. Do you not get that? I do want to make this friendship work but I think I'm still just too angry with you. You hurt me in the most horrific way imaginable and you can't be open and honest about South-."
"Are we still on this. Fuck sakes Liv. What part of I can't tell you do you not fucking get." His voice gets louder and more stern and his jaw and fists clenches as he gets up.
"Stop swearing at me. This is what I mean Nick! Can you just calm down." I stare up at him and he slowly sits down again trying to calm down.
"Stop getting so angry. I'm pointing out the issues I have and you just need to accept how I feel." I sternly reply.
"How long are you going to feel this way? Because quite frankly, I'm exhausted trying to fix this the whole time. I've apologized, I've tried my best to protect you and to make up for it, but you're never going to forgive me are you?" He stares and me and it's as if he's lost all hope. I don't know what do anymore. We stare at each other in silence for what feels like hours and our staring competition gets interrupted by his phone buzzing. He takes it out of his jacket, stares at the screen, widens his eyes and immediately jumps up.
"I have to go. I guess this friendship isn't going to work and I'm done trying Liv." He grips his jacket in his hand and walks out of the shop. I guess we just cannot make this friendship work. Too much damage has been caused. I watch as he walks into the distance and I guess he really is going to give up with me now and I don't blame him. Some things a person just cannot get over and him leaving the way he did, is unforgivable. As I think back to how I felt the day of graduation a tear leaves my eye and I quickly wipe it away. He really did break my heart. I collect my things and I head back home. This is why it's easier to feel nothing for him and to just be rock hard because you give one person a chance and they just screw you over and they give you ten thousand other reasons to just never try again and honestly I should give Brad a real chance because he hasn't given me a reason not to. I need to make more effort with him and I need to find out why he has been acting so secretive but first I need to pass my last two exams.
"Hey." Brad walks to me and places a Starbucks latte in front of me and kisses my cheek.
"Hey." My attention draws to him and I give him a small smile. I glance at the clock and then at him as he takes his jacket off.
"How is it 7 pm already?" I ask and I still haven't made dinner or anything like that. After I got home I immediately hit the books and I haven't looked up since then.
"Yeah sorry about today." He walks towards me again.
"Where were you?" I get up from my chair and I head to the kitchen.
"Just some stuff for my uncle." He says it like it isn't a big deal.
"Brad." I glance at him and he leans on the counter.
"Yes?" He folds his arms.
"What's with all the secrets?" I murmur and he quickly goes poker faced.
"Nothing. I can't talk about it. Just family business you know." I raise my eyebrow at him as he strokes the nape of his neck.
"So tell me about it?" I ask and he avoids eye contact.
"I don't think we're there yet you know." He makes his way closer to me and his lips meet mine and he pulls away.
"I wasn't done kissing you." I reprimand him.
"Shame." He winks and I get some frozen pizza's out of the freezer and I place it into the over as Brad just stares at me.
"How was your day?" He questions.
"Yeah it was okay, after you left Nick came by and we went to lunch." His jaw clenches. Yeah he is definitely infuriated.
"Why did you go?" He shrugs.
"I was hungry and you technically ditched me." I protest.
"I am sorry about that but still." He retorts.
"It was just lunch and we just ended our friendship so yeah." I look down.
"Are you okay?"
"I'm fine. It sucks but it is the right thing to do."
"You are allowed to cry about it Olivia. I know he is important to you." He wraps his arms around me and I burst into tears. Yeah, screw it. It sucks and I guess I am allowed to be a bit upset that I just lost my best friend of 15 years.
"You have other friends and you have me." He hugs me tightly and the tears continue to fall.
"I'm sorry." I can't manage to control the crying.
"It's really okay." He whispers. I stand there for a bit and he wipes the tears off of my face.
"You love him but you two aren't good for each other." He states and he takes the pizza's out of the oven and I nod.
"Yeah I guess so." I sigh, "I do appreciate you." I give him a hug from behind as he cuts the pizza's.
"I appreciate you to." He spins around and he lifts me up and I swiftly wrap my legs around him.
"Maybe Australia is a good idea." I gaze into his eyes and he has a huge smile on his face, as he wipes another tear off of my cheek. I need to give this a chance otherwise I'll never get over Nick.
"You think so?" He walks us to the couch and he sits with me, straddling him.
"Yeah I think so." He looks me up and down and he pulls my face closer to him until our lips meet again. He moves his hands down to my waist while we kiss and I tighten my grip on his t-shirt only for him to pull away.
"You need to study." He looks me up and down and he gives me a boyish smile.
"Yeah and you need to shave." I point to his beard and I move myself off of him.
"The beard is good. The beard stays." He rubs his hairy chin and I laugh. He is quite the comedian when he wants to be.
"But seriously. You need to study." He pulls me up off of the couch and I slowly make my way to my desk. I sigh as I look at all the notes and highlighters on my desk.
"I think I am going to go out with Aiden and the boys. If you're okay with that?" He changes his shirt and I stare down at his abs and then back up at him.
"Don't need my permission Brad." I wink and he kisses me again before he leaves. I really do need to study.