"Text him, text him, text him, text him" begged Ava for the 7th time this week. It's been two weeks since my encounter with Jayce. I mean I kinda want to text him but I have no idea where we stand. Like what if he wants nothing to do with me and he leaves me on delivered or worse on read. I shuddered at the thought. All I can think about is what was he going to say before Regina George came barging in with all her high pitched voice and loud pink, everything.
I wonder if she even knows his middle name. It's Lucas by the way. Or what his biggest fear is. He says he's not afraid of anything to look all big and bad but he's secretly terrified of crabs. Why? I'm 100 percent sure. I just know that every time we would be walking on the beach and there was a crab on the sand he would slightly nudge me the other way discreetly as possible. I would always laugh at him for it because to anyone else just looking at him you wouldn't question for a second that he has no fears. Does she know about his man-crush on Leonardo DiCaprio? What about his favorite color? Most people would think it's black but it's actually pastel purple.
Ugh! I have been doing this for the past two weeks. This needs to stop or I'm going to drive myself insane. Plus why do I even care about their relationship? Why do I care if she knows all these things? I mean it's not a competition. She probably knows all those things and many more. She is his girlfriend. I was just his best friend. And that's all I wanted to be. I just want to make sure she is treating him right.
It may have been years since we have talked in any way but that doesn't mean I don't want him to be happy. If anything I care about his happiness more than mine. That may be unhealthy but who cares. I just hope that she is treating him like the king he deserves to be treated like.
Yeah, the first impression wasn't the greatest but that doesn't mean she's a bad person. Maybe she's like me and doesn't like people, so she's mean to make them never want to come back again.
I don't know but I just have this weird feeling about her. She is literally the opposite of the kind of girl I would have picked out for Jayce. She seems so high maintenance and Jay is nowhere near high maintenance. Unless he has changed a lot over the years, Jay doesn't ask anyone for anything. He always felt like he needed to do and get through everything by himself. Yeah, he didn't have many people in his life growing up but he had me and I tried telling him to let me take some of his burdens as he would mine. Every time he would say okay but nothing ever changed, I know he was just doing it to make me happy. Another example showing how selfless he is.
She's just so.... pink. That's the only way I know how to describe it. She actually looked like she came straight out of the mean girl's movie. Jay is just so dark in so many ways. His clothes. His look. His personality. That stare that is so strong and dark it feels like your whole body is on fire. Yeah, that was a new one. But it is so true.
The way he was looking at me that day at the ice cream shop made me feel so many different things. To any average person, his stare would have seemed cold and menacing. And at first, it did to me too but after I caught him the first time looking at me with that same soft expression he used to use only towards me 5 years ago the cold look just didn't feel the same. The look made every inch of my body heat up. Why? I'm still not one hundred percent sure yet.
Ugh! I missed him so much and it took me, accidentally running into him to show me truly how much. Now that I know he is still here and is so close I miss him ten times more. I need to talk to him again and hear his voice again.
"Okay, yeah um I'm ready. I'm going to text him." I said while leaning up from the couch and grabbing my phone off the coffee table mainly covered in plants and a smoking bowl. Yeah, I'm a little high but when am I not. An ear-piercing scream that I know all to well sounded through the entire living room.
"Ava you have got to stop fucking doing that before I lose my hearing". She rolled her eyes at what I'm sure she thought was me being dramatic. I wasn't. I have a feeling I already have hearing damage.
"Sorry, not sorry babe. I've been trying to get you to do this for the past 2 weeks. I thought for sure it was going to take at least one more week to get you to do it so I was just surprised" she shrugged her shoulders while getting closer to me so she can look over my shoulder at my phone.
"Yeah well, I think knowing that he is still here has made me miss him even more and that's saying a lot. Say if he is mad at me. I would much rather know now than constantly playing this guessing game with myself". It's true this whole guessing game has been draining. I finally think I'm ready to know how he feels about me now. If it's rejection, I think ill be okay with it now. Okay, that's a lie, I'll be totally crushed but at least now I think the pain will only last a month instead of multiple.
"Okay woman do it before you get scared and change your mind. I can see you psyching yourself out from here" she said while tapping my phone screen with a 'get on with it already' look on her face. "Okay um yeah. What do I have to lose".
"Well, the possibility of completely losing your childhood best friend for good and never getting to talk to him ever again" she rambled. I looked at her with complete and utter disbelief. "You just told me not to psych myself out and change my mind and you thought it was a good idea to point out all the things that I was trying not to think Ava. What. The. Fuck".
"Yeah, sorry, I just got nervous" she mumbled. "Why are you nervous, you're not the one that might be losing her best friend forever" she confuses me more than I confuse myself sometimes and that's saying something. I'm a very confusing person. "I don't know. I guess I just know how much he means to you just by hearing about him over the years and I don't want you to lose that hunk of a man. I have only ever been attracted to woman my entire life but just his face made my girly bits get a little excited. But he's not my type I like vaginas so don't worry you can have him" She really doesn't know how to stop once she starts. Wait, what?
"I don't want him like that Ava and you know that. I just want my best friend back. Plus even if I did want him, which I don't. He has a girlfriend." I said giving her a no-nonsense look. "There's something off about that girl, but I just can't pinpoint it. He's just so dark and weary. She's just so..." I stopped her knowing what she was going to say. "Pink" I said and she nodded.
Knowing it's probably a good idea to stop procrastinating. I dropped the conversation and grabbed my phone putting in the passcode. I went to my contacts and searched for Jayce's name. Finding his contact I clicked on it and went to where I can send him a message. I had no idea how to start this off. "Hey I'm not completely sure if you still hate me after the other day, so just wanted to see if you wanted to hang out and mend our friendship". Yeah, how about no.
After multiple minutes of Ava and I coming up with something to say we finally came up with something that wasn't completely weird and stalker-ish. I typed the message and was about to send it when a blue message popped up on my screen. Once my mind processed what it was, I screamed and threw the phone on the cushion beside me.
OH, MY FUCK!
He texted me FIRST. OH FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK.
I was sitting on the screen when he texted so that means he can see that I was about to text him. I have never been the kind of girl that freaked out about how fast or how long I should wait to text someone back. I will text them back when I see the text. Plain and simple.
But It's been two fucking weeks and he chooses right at the very time I decided to text him to text me first. Really universe what the fuck.
After getting over the shock of everything I slowly picked up the phone and looked at the message.
Jay: Hi.
Plain and simple but somehow straight to the point. So Jayce.
I decided to come back with something just as simple if not more.
Me: 👋🏼
Jay: We need to talk.
Me: Yeah.
Jay: Beach, Rock, 25 min.
Me: Ok.
He doesn't need to elaborate for me to know what he's talking about. There is this pretty much abandoned part of the beach that every local around here calls the dark spot. There's nothing wrong with it except there's a rumor that a serial killer lived on this part of the beach and slept on the rocks and knows his spirit haunts it. No one actually saw this person so how the rumor was made or if it's true or not, no one really knows. The moral of the story is no one that has ever heard of the story goes there. Except for Jayce and me. There's a huge lonesome rock sitting on its own right beside a big mountain of rocks. Jay and I claimed it as our rock when we were young. We carved our initials On the side of the rock. That was our way of claiming things back then. To us, if someone saw it they would never touch it. Obviously, that wasn't the case but weren't going to admit it to our self's.
"How do you know where to go" Ava asked and for a second I forgot I said all of that in my head. I told her what it was and where it was at and got off the couch but stopped when she said something. "Okay you know I'm not the type for mushy cute shit but that's really fucking adorable" She said in an awed voice. I rolled my eyes and walked into my room to get ready.
I put on a pair of black cargo pants and a random black graphic t-shirt, tucking one side into the jeans and slipping on a pair of converse. I know I don't dress like I live at the beach but I never did. Also, I don't give a shit about what other people wear or think about me.
It's been years since I've been to the dark spot. So just in case I grabbed my small black backpack and threw it on my bed. I went to my dresser full of art supplies and grabbed what I thought I needed. A sketch pad that only has a few empty pages left in it and my pack of different shades of black and gray colored pencils. I threw a couple of blue in there just in case I felt like going out of my comfort zone. I put it all in my bag and threw it over my shoulder.
Okay. It's time to see if I fucked up too much 3 years ago or not. Let's get this the fuck over with.
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I don't really like this because it's more of a fill in chapter more than anything.
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