This is the third and final part. You can find parts 1 and 2 in the table of contents if you haven't read them or want to refresh your memory since its been months since part 2. Enjoy :)
Credit (5secondsofimagines)
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He took baby steps.
He gave you space, even though the other side of his bed was cold without you by his side.
He gave you time, even though every fibre of his being was craving your presence.
He gave you what you needed because he knew he had neglected you for too long, even though now all you needed was to have him away from you, just for a while.
And it was difficult, sleeping on a bed made for two; blankets too big and mattress to empty. It was difficult opening the closet and seeing just his clothes there when he was so used to having to fish them out from underneath a pile of your shirts; to walk through the house and not hear your daughter's chatter or the quiet ruffle of you turning the pages of a book in the morning.
But he knew it was nothing compared to what he did to you.
So he waits because he knows that you need time to mull over his words; that you'd need a few nights curled up on the couch weighing your options and a few days full of coffee and pursed lips to decide what to do with his promise.
And he slowly makes his way up.
A text, telling you good morning. Another wishing you a good night.
You don't reply to it, and for all he knows you don't see it at all - but you know and he knows that you open every message from him and you analyze every word before you go to sleep at night.
And when he starts to get a reply - however curt and cold, it's still a reply - he makes small conversation, light and casual.
-Hey, how are you?
-Fine.
-How was your day?
-I survived.
He makes stupid jokes that take you back to the time when you were seventeen and reading his texts from your phone beneath the desk, trying to supress your laughter in the middle of a lecture.
-Why can't zoo animals take tests?
-Are you serious?
-Because there's too many cheetahs!
-You're so stupid.
He laughs, and it's not from his own stupid joke - there's a small smile on his lips because he can hear your voice saying that phrase that you used to tell him so many times before it feels so familiar, and he's missed it so much.
You feel too much like a stranger and he wants to erase all the bitterness in your words that he caused and fill it with all the love he wants to recreate with you.
In time. He's still taking baby steps, after all.
And so are you.
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He starts off small and the progress is slow, but Luke makes his way from a one-worded text reply to a fairly decent conversation with you.
And it's not the banter he used to have with you, but it's more than what he had a few months ago and he'll take anything at this point.
He works up the courage to call you and he's scared that he's moving too fast; that you'll see his number and you won't pick up.
But after six agonizing rings, he hears your voice on the other end.
Hello?
And he thinks he stops breathing because he hasn't heard your voice in weeks, since you've given him another chance, since he started to change his ways.
Hey. I... I just wanted to hear your voice.
He blurts out the words before he can think it through, and he's mentally berating himself for sounding like a lovesick fifteen year old who's watched one too many rom-coms.
You've forgotten yourself how much you loved Luke's voice, how it used to lull you to sleep with soft whispers against your skin and how it used to wake you up with gentle words in the morning light.
You remember how it's the voice that sang his very songs to you in his bedroom and his acoustic guitar, how it's the same voice that you memorized; every husky tone and low timbre and every playful joke and light whisper.
But hearing it through the phone call again is like hearing a friend but talking to a stranger and you're not sure what to say to Luke any more.
The conversation is quick and casual and you hang up, staring at your toes and hugging yourself tight.
But he calls back every night at the same night and even though the conversation starts off strained, the two of you get into some sort of rhythm; an offhand beat of a conversation that's awkward and a little tense but you're still dancing you're still talking and it's something it's something.
The awkwardness slowly fades away and while flickers of it remains - the two of you hop over the topic of the divorce and you both know what you're trying to avoid - you don't feel as if you're talking to a stranger anymore, not when the voice on the other line makes you smile to yourself despite your best efforts not to.
You feel like a schoolgirl again, waiting for Luke's calls at the same time every night.
The shyness, the hesitancy, the hint of awkwardness - you feel like you're reliving the days when you first started dating Luke all over again.
But if it's a cycle then you don't want to relive the heartbreak again.
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Can I... can I see her again?
He works up the courage to say those words nearly two months after you agreed to give him a chance.
Two months of texts and calls and working at this relationship, piece by piece - you're not strangers but you're not lovers but he misses his daughter and he misses you.
And just like how he craved hearing your voice, now that he has at least that every night, he wants more - he wants to see you in person and he wants to see your smile and he wants to see his daughter.
Yeah - yeah, I mean I guess you can.
There's hesitation in your voice but it's been two months and you think Luke deserves at least that much for his patience.
He said he would give you space and he said he would give you time but you'd be lying if you said you didn't miss him, too.
You tried not to - you tried to forget about him, you tried to erase him and his stupid effect on you from your life - but you suspect there's a part of him that'll always be with you, just like how a piece of you is always with him.
You arrange a date and a time and he marks it down on his calendar, excitedly circling it with a red marker.
You end the call, and even though his bed is still half empty without you, for the first time in a long time, Luke goes to sleep with a smile on his lips.
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Daddy!
She runs towards him with the biggest smile on her face, and he can't remember the last time he's been so happy; his lips about to split his face in half with how wide he's grinning at the sight of his beautiful daughter again.
It's been so, so long.
And he lifts her up and twirls her around she's shrieking and squealing and he's laughing and holding her close, pinching her cheeks.
He forgets how her eyes are just like his, how her lips are just like yours; how she's something the two of you made and if everything is in ruins then at least you still have this angel.
How she's the product of love and how she's a reminder that there was a time when the two of you were more than just strangers, more than just friends - that you two shared more than just a bed and more than a name, that the two of you shared love.
And you can't help but to smile faintly at Luke and your daughter, laughing with glee and spinning around in delirious circles until they were both a heap of laughter on the floor.
Daddy missed you so much, princess.
I missed you too, daddy. Are you gonna stay this time?
The words break his heart because it tells him that he's left one too many times, but he looks over at you with a hopeful smile and sees you grinning back despite your previous hesitation.
He turns back to his daughter and kisses her on the nose, watching as she scrunched her nose just like you did when he did the same to you.
I sure hope so.
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It was slow and tedious, but not once did Luke regret ever coming back to you.
One visit became two. Two became three. And three became babysitting regularly on certain days of the week.
And he worked his way up to asking you out to coffee - awkward greetings and bashful smiles, but he still remembers your order and you still sit in the same booth that you did when you dated the first time.
And coffee turned into a dinner; stressing over what to wear and paying for the bill and walking you to the doorstep and kissing you goodnight before driving back home again.
And dinner became a movie where you sat away from him before the two of you ended up sharing the same cushion at the end of the night, throwing popcorn at each other like kids despite the fact that you were grown adults.
It was like loving Luke all over again; the clumsiness of the first few dates and the sweet little gifts, but you remind yourself that this wasn't a honeymoon and you weren't looking for a high before falling again.
And the two of you don't talk about your hopes and dreams and all those fanciful things that you used to before - it takes a while, but after months and months of this dysfunctional relationship of caring for a child and dating for the second time, you find yourself lying on his chest and telling him about all the things you missed.
All the things that went wrong. All the things that you still need to fix.
You're no longer teens that dreamed about a future together, just two adults trying to fix all the bumps from your past.
And it's slow and it's difficult when you're still trying to work on opening up to someone that hurt you so much before, but you get there, one step at a time.
When cuddling on the couch became a norm, no longer an awkward fumbling of trying to recreate what you once had. When kisses became regular, and not stolen as if was forbidden after your previous relationship. When the two of you could go out in public with your little daughter and hold hands and smile proudly when people say you're such an adorable family instead of becoming this stuttering mess of trying to explain the complications.
When you move back into the house you once shared with Luke, one box at a time.
When the smiles become more natural, when it becomes normal - when it feels normal to have Luke integrated into your life again.
And it takes months and months and you watch as a year or two fly by, but you've been working on what you had and so has Luke and while your relationship was still far from normal, it's a work in progress for something beautiful.
And it won't be what you had last time - you don't think you'll ever have what you once had with Luke again from the past - but you're both different people now, and you're learning to love who the other person has now become.
You're working on changes for the better, for a home that feels right in your bones, for a family that makes you feel complete again.
From wishful lovers who dreamed underneath the stars and danced in the kitchen with no music playing to strangers that knew each other all too well and not at all.
And now?
To a family that shared more than just blood; to a future that would be hazy and uncertain, but one spent by each other's side.
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