Sexual Exploration 2

Surprise

Henlo, some of u may know this already but due to many reasons I unfortunately won't be uploading the rest of that long chapter. The one shot book will still be updated however and I encourage yall to read it if u liked what this chapter contains. I thank ye for understanding uwu

Since this is fiction, and everything I've written so far is pretty much impossible, I figured why not make things even more impossible and have the alters all be their own separate persons, and then write about that? Even RMie will be his own person even though he technically wasn't real uwu happy endings for er'rybody

You're welcome ^.^

https://ko-fi.com/haydenpumpkinchan  👉👈

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Little Demon: Adventures in Babysitting Yoonie - Part 1

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"Why Yoonie can't come with?" Yoonie cried in Suga's arms, reaching his little arms out for his cutest Namjoonie as the boy slipped his jacket on in the foyer.

"Because it's their first anniversary all together and they want to spend it just the seven of them." Suga told the baby, holding him on his hip protectively.

Yoonie pouted. "Nnh, but wan' go with!" He strained to reach the group, tears forming in his eyes.

"We'll be back later." Namjoon promised, leaning in to press a quick kiss to the baby's little nose.

Yoonie still pouted but he rubbed his nose bashfully, pink blush blooming on his squishy cheeks. "Yoonie's cutest Namjoonie will come kith Yoonie goodnoots when he comed back?"

"Of course baby." Namjoon assured him. "We'll only be gone a few hours, so you behave for Sugie, okay?"

"Yoonie is good babypie." Yoonie nodded, resting his chubby cheek against Suga's chest. "Loves him Sugie."

"Come on, little one." Suga carried Yoonie to the kitchen, kissing the baby's fluffy hair. "Let's get you a healthy dinner before bathtime."

"Popsicle!"

"No."

Yoongi smiled as he watched them go, knowing Yoonie was in good hands.

"Come on, baby," Namjoon kissed his husband, taking Yoongi's hands as he led them all to the car. "You know Suga will protect Yoonie. There's nothing to worry about."

"Of course." Yoongi followed him. "As long as Suga is in charge, there's nothing to worry about."

-

Agust walked into the kitchen, absorbed in his Nintendo as he passed Suga feeding Yoonie mashed carrots in his high chair.

He grabbed an energy drink from the fridge and was about to head back to his room when Suga's phone rang.

"Hello?" Suga answered it expertly with one hand, feeding Yoonie with the other without spilling a drop as he guided the spoon into the baby's wide open mouth. "Yoonji? What- okay, okay! I'll be right there, don't kill him."

"What's going on?" Agust finally looked up from his game as Suga jumped up from the chair, stuffing his phone into his pocket.

"Yoonji was taking the bus home and someone tried to steal her wallet so she bashed his face in and now the cops are saying she went too far so I need to get over there and help her." Suga explained.

He swiped the video game out of Agust's hands and replaced it with the baby food and spoon. "Here, watch Yoonie while I'm out."

"Wait- what?!" Agust exclaimed with wide eyes as Suga rushed out. "Suga!"

"Just finish feeding him and get him bathed and changed into pajamas." Suga said, pulling on his shoes and grabbing the car keys. "Make sure he's in bed before nine. It's not hard. He's an angel."

"But-"

"Before nine!" Suga called, and then he was gone.

The house suddenly seemed so big and empty now that just Agust and Yoonie were in it.

He cautiously leaned back, looking into the kitchen at Yoonie.

The baby was smearing orange mush over his chubby cheeks, giggling to himself. "Am baby carrot."

"Oh no," Agust sighed.

He walked over and sat down on the chair in front of Yoonie's high chair. "Okay, let's finish this quickly so we can get you in the bath, alright?"

"Where Sugie go?" Yoonie looked around for him.

"He had to go help Yoonji, so I'm going to watch you." Agust held up a spoonful of the baby food.

Yoonie looked worried too. "Oh no."

"Here, just eat quickly so we can get this over with." Agust grumbled, shoving the spoon closer.

Yoonie frowned and turned his face away so the spoon poked his cheek, leaving a little orange drop. "No!"

"What do you mean no?" Agust growled. "You were just eating fine when Suga was feeding you!"

"Sugie blows on food for Yoonie!" Yoonie shook his head.

"It's fucking room temperature!" Agust exclaimed.

Yoonie gasped, eyes wide. "Bad word! Bad Agustie!"

Agust groaned. "Okay, fine, I'm sorry. Here-" He blew on the mashed carrots and held the spoon back out.

Yoonie crossed his arms over his baby blue overalls and scowled. "Did it wrong."

"Did it wrong?!" Agust exclaimed. "I just blew on it- how is there a wrong way to exhale air?"

"Sugie does it better." Yoonie insisted. "Does it with love."

Agust let his forehead fall, hitting the back of his wrist as he held the spoon out. "Please, Yoonie, don't do this to me."

"Agustie no love Yoonie." Yoonie pouted, crossing his arms tighter. "Hates Yoonie!"

"That's not true!" Agust protested. "Come on, please just eat this? It's not hot, I swear."

"Mm-mm!" Yoonie shook his head.

"Yoonie," Agust growled, trying to force the spoonful of orange mush into the babys closed mouth.

As expected, that didn't work and now Yoonie was screeching at him, and there was baby food all over his face.

"Fine!" Agust shouted, dropping the little jar of mashed carrots to the tray, where it spilled. "Do it yourself then!"

Yoonie slapped his palms down on the food, splattering it all over the walls, floor, himself and Agust's front.

"Hey!" Agust exclaimed, jumping up. "Yoonie!"

Yoonie giggled. "Agustie messy baby like Yoonie."

"Oh you little demon." Agust grumbled and stood up. "Okay, dinner is done." He tossed the remaining food into the garbage can and chucked the spoon into the sink.

Yoonie wailed, kicking his legs in his high chair. "No! Yoonie still humgy!"

"Then you should have eaten it." Agust growled.

"Couldn't! Agustie blowed on it wrong!"

Agust groaned, rubbing his fingertips over his forehead. "Let's just get you in the bath."

"Yoonie no want bath! Yoonie want popsicle!"

"If I give you a popsicle will you let me bathe you?" Agust raised an eyebrow.

"Yeth." Yoonie nodded, a little bit of mashed carrots sliding off the top of his fluffy hair and landing on the floor with a plop.

Agust pulled open the freezer and grabbed a strawberry flavored one out, unwrapping it and handing it to the baby.

Yoonie clapped his messy hands happily, immediately opening his mouth wide for it.

Agust struggled to figure out how to get the baby out of the high chair, while Yoonie watched, smiling around his popsicle.

Cursing to himself, Agust finally pulled out his phone and called Suga.

The boy answered after a few rings, sounding annoyed. "Yes?"

"How the hell-"

"Ah! Bad Agustie! Eat soap!"

"-do I work this stupid high chair? It won't come apart!"

"Figure it out, it's not hard." Suga sighed.

"You come figure it out!" Agust snapped.

"I'm at the county jail, it'll be awhile before- Yoonji! You can't take a police mans own gun! Put that back! I don't care if he said he bet you didn't know how to shoot, that'll be murder if you fire that thing at him! No, it's not poetic justice!"

"Wait, Suga, how do I-"

Suga hung up, and Agust groaned.

"Agustie dummie." Yoonie explained.

Agust stuck his tongue out at him.

Yoonie poked the older boys cheek with the cold popsicle. "Bap."

Agust glared at him. "Maybe I should just leave you in here."

"If Agustie no take care of Yoonie properly then Yoonie will tell Sugie and Sugie will kick Agustie's butt!" Yoonie said, swinging his little legs.

"Little demon." Agust muttered. "Don't tell Suga."

Yoonie watched him struggle with the chair for a few more minutes, licking his popsicle. "Maybe call the cutest Namjoonie? Or Yumpie?"

"I don't need their help." Agust grunted. "That's it, I'm breaking this!"

"No!" Yoonie cried. "No hurt Yoonie's chair! Love chairie!"

"Then tell me how to get you out of it." Agust said. "Or else I'm getting the hammer."

Yoonie pouted and pointed with his popsicle to the side of the chair, where a plastic button was. "Sugie pushes button and Yoonie's chair opens!"

Agust looked over and punched the button, and the tray popped open, revealing just how messy the baby was.

He unbuckled Yoonie and grabbed him, smearing the baby food from Yoonie's overalls to his own green shirt and black skinny jeans as he carried Yoonie out of the kitchen.

Yoonie cried and struggled. "Yoonie wan' walk! No wan' be carried."

Agust ignored him, tucking the baby under one arm as he marched up the stairs. "No, you'll touch everything and get it all messy with your baby powers of destruction."

Yoonie kicked the air uselessly. "Agustie big meanie!"

"The meanest." Agust muttered, stepping inside the bathroom and plopping Yoonie into the tub.

He turned on the water and Yoonie shrieked.

"Now what?" Agust sighed.

"Have to make sure water warm first!" Yoonie cried. "Sugie always do that for Yoonie! And have to taked off Yoonie's clothes! Or else get wet!"

"Take off your own clothes." Agust muttered, grabbing Yoonie out and setting him on the rug in front of the bath.

Yoonie frowned, poking his tongue out as he looked down at his messy clothes. He grabbed the strap over his shoulder and pushed it off. Beaming at his success, he did the same to the other one, and clapped at his geniusness.

He peeled his socks off and giggled at his toes, tapping them together a few times, before he grabbed his white shirt, yanking it up.

"Ah!" He cried when the collar got stuck, trapping him in the white fabric. "Stucked!"

Agust sighed deeply, rising up and grabbing the shirt with both hands. "Why is your head so big?"

"Chubby cheekies!" Yoonie wailed behind the fabric.

Agust grunted, tugging on the shirt. He raised his foot and pressed it against Yoonie's chest, finally managing to yank the shirt over the baby's head.

"Oof!" Yoonie gasped, falling onto his back, staring up at the ceiling.

Agust grabbed the socks and messy overalls, tossing them in the trash since he didn't know how to do laundry. "Don't tell Suga."

"Hey!" Yoonie cried. "No throw away! Yoonie loves them!"

"They're messy." Agust told him.

"Then wash them!"

"No."

"Wash them!" Yoonie threw a naked tantrum on the mat and Agust sighed, rolling his eyes up to the ceiling. "Wash them, wash them, wash them!"

"Alright!" Agust snatched them out of the garbage. "Stay in here, don't touch anything and don't drown or else Suga will kill me. Jeez, an angel my ass."

He stomped down the hall to the laundry room and chucked them inside the washer. He dumped in some of every detergent they had and slammed the door shut. He punched all the buttons, and the machine started to hum, rumbling to life.

Assuming he did something right, he slipped off his messed up shirt and tossed that in as well, his silver dog tags hitting against his bare chest as he hurried back to the bathroom.

Yoonie looked up from where he was licking the bar of soap.

Agust's shoulders sunk. "Why."

Yoonie burped out a bubble.

-

"Dinner was amazing!" Jimin gushed as they all left the restaurant and headed to the parking lot.

"Who's ready for the movies?" Hoseok cheered. "I'm sneaking in a whole ass watermelon!"

"Why?" Jungkook asked. "We just ate."

"Oh, it's not for eating." Hoseok assured him, and Jungkook frowned.

Namjoon chuckled and glanced at Yoongi, who was looking at his phone with a concerned look. "What's wrong?"

"I'm just gunna call the house and make sure everything is okay." Yoongi explained. "This is the longest we've left Yoonie and I'm worried."

"There's nothing to worry about." Taehyung said. "He's with Suga, remember? Nothing could go wrong!"

"He's right, Suga can handle a hundred Yoonie's." Namjoon stole Yoongi's phone. "Come on, tonight is about us. We'll be home after the movies, he'll be fine for a few more hours."

Yoongi sighed. "You're right."

They climbed into the car and Yoongi started the engine.

"I'm sure Yoonie is being taken care of in the best way possible."

-

"Yoonie!" Agust shouted, bursting out of the bathroom.

Yoonie shrieked with giggles as he ran naked down the hallway. "Yoonie is free!"

"Get back here and take your bath, you little demon!" Agust growled, chasing after him.

Yoonie reached the top of the stairs and twisted around so he could slide down them on his tummy. "Oof, oof, oof, oof, oof-"

"Yoonie!" Agust thundered down the stairs. "You absolute demon! You're getting that stupid baby food everywhere!"

"Yay!" Yoonie cheered, rubbing his dirty hands on the walls and furniture, before rolling around on the carpet. "Feed housie!"

"Got you!" Agust snatched up the squishy little baby.

"Nooo!" Yoonie didn't want to be gotten, he wanted to run around naked some more.

Agust marched back up the stairs and into the bathroom, where he cursed when he saw the tub had overflowed.

He quickly shut it off, nearly slipping on the water that covered the tiles.

Yoonie kicked and struggled as Agust lowered him into the bathtub finally.

The water was too high, and as soon as Agust let go, Yoonie slipped under.

"Shit!" Agust shot his hands into the water and yanked him back up. "Don't tell Suga."

Yoonie coughed, water running down his face from his wet hair.

Agust reached in and pulled the plug, letting some of the water drain.

Yoonie screamed in Agust's arms, kicking his little feet. "Ah! No, no, no!"

"What could it possibly be now?" Agust sighed, exhausted already.

"Tub monster!" Yoonie wailed, pointing at the drain. "Gunna eat Yoonie!"

Agust smirked. "That's right. The tub monster loves to eat chubby little demon babies like you."

Yoonie screamed, trying to get away from the sinking water and Agust laughed. "If you behave, I'll turn it off."

"Yoonie good babypie!" Yoonie cried, tears rolling down his cheeks. "Please, Agustie save Yoonie! Please!"

Agust sighed, feeling bad, and he reached back into put the plug back in place.

The water had sunk low enough that Yoonie wouldn't drown, and Agust placed him back in. "There. Monster all gone."

Yoonie sniffed, scrubbing his puffy eyes.

"Hey, want some bubbles?" Agust grabbed out the pink canister from under the sink.

Yoonie gasped in wonder.

Agust unscrewed the lid and smelled bubblegum. He tilted the can over the tub and poured the pink liquid into the warm water, and white bubbles foamed up.

Yoonie giggled, clapping the bubbles and blowing them around the bathroom.

He scooped up a handful and placed them in a mini pile on his head. "Yay! Yoonie has bubble crown! Yoonie king of bubble bath!"

He scooped up some more and held them out to Agust. "Agustie!"

Agust made a face and leaned back. "No way, then I'll have to take a bath too to wash it off."

Yoonie pouted, his big eyes shimmering.

Agust groaned for an eternity, finally hanging his head so Yoonie could place the bubbles on his black hair.

Yoonie giggled and clapped his hands. "Now Agustie prince of bubbles!"

"How am I a prince and you're the king?" Agust raised an eyebrow. "This monarchy is messed up. The kingdom is doomed."

"Agustie princess of bubbles." Yoonie changed it.

Agust puffed his cheeks out and decided to stay quiet before Yoonie made him a stable boy.

After Yoonie shrieked that his hands were getting wrinkly, Agust washed the bubbles off the baby and pulled him out, before draining the tub.

The floor was still wet, but Agust ignored it, -"Don't tell Suga,"- wrapping Yoonie in a towel as he carried the baby to his bedroom.

Yoonie peeked out from the towel, almost completely buried in it as he leaned tiredly against Agust's chest, his cheek squished.

Agust sat the little bundle on the floor, opening Yoonie's drawers and rummaging around for pajamas. "Okay, where does Suga keep your sleep shit?"

"Top d'wawer!" Yoonie called around his hand he had stuffed in his mouth, nomming his soft fingers. "Is Yoonie's jammie d'wawer!"

Agust pulled out a soft, white fleece onesie, deciding it should be good to dress the baby in. "Okay, come here so I can-"

He turned around and stopped when he saw the towel empty on the floor.

"Yoooooooniiiieeee!" Agust shouted.

-

The movie had ended and the group was ready to head home, when Taehyung saw a 24/7 bar and pointed excitedly. 

Yoongi shrugged. "Well, Suga can watch Yoonie for a little longer."

-

Yoonie stood on his little toes, trying to reach the handle of the freezer. "Nnh! Give Yoonie!"

"Yoonie!" Agust thundered down the stairs. "Bad boy!"

Yoonie squealed when Agust yanked him up, still reaching for the popsicles behind the white door. "No! Yoonie good babypie! Wan' 'sicle!"

"No, bad boys don't get more popsicles." Agust struggled to hold the kicking baby.

"Yoonie good!" He sobbed. "Yoonie good boy!"

"If I give you another one will you shut up?" Agust growled.

Yoonie nodded innocently.

Agust huffed, not believing him, but he opened the freezer anyways and gave the baby another popsicle. "Little demon."

Yoonie beamed to himself as he chewed on it, letting Agust carry him back up the stairs and to his room.

Agust had to wait fourteen agonizingly long minutes for Yoonie to finish his treat, so he could wipe the baby's cheeks and hands off with the towel before he could pull out the white onesie.

"Okay, I gave you another popsicle so you have to listen to me now." Agust said. "You're going to wear this and you're going to like it, got it?"

"Yoonie want 'nother popsicle." Yoonie stuffed his hand into his mouth as he blinked up at Agust.

"No, and don't tell Suga you got two in one day." Agust scowled, zipping the onesie open and laying it on the floor beside Yoonie.

He picked up the baby and laid him on top of the open clothing, but before he could do anything else, Yoonie frowned and squirmed.

"Yoonie hears something!" He called out.

"Yeah, that's the sound of me winning and getting you ready before bed." Agust quickly checked the time. The cartoon clock on the night stand showed it was 8:27. He still had time to put Yoonie to bed before 9. Suga would be none the wiser of what happened and Agust wouldn't have to endure the absolute ass kicking Suga would unleash upon him.

"No!" Yoonie protested as Agust grabbed his foot, forcing it through the leg of the onesie, then the other. "Is scary sound!" He looked terrified. "Is tub monster!"

"It's not the bath tub." Agust huffed, sweating as he fought to dress Yoonie. "Stop kicking me you little shit!"

"Tub monster!" Yoonie wailed, fighting Agust. "Tub monster going to eat Yoonie!"

"I fucking wish." Agust muttered, forcing Yoonie's arm through the sleeve.

Yoonie screamed and Agust slapped his hands over his ears. "Ahhhhhhh! Tub monster eat Yoonie! Agustie have to protect Yoonie! Please! Please!"

"Alright, alright!" Agust shouted. "Fine, okay, I'll go see what's making that noise."

He quickly finished dressing the baby and picked Yoonie up, carrying him on his hip as he investigated.

When he got into the hallway, he could hear it too. A loud banging noise that sounded mechanical.

"The hell...?" Agust muttered, walking down the hallway, squeezing Yoonie a little tighter as they neared it.

Yoonie clung to Agust, cowering as the noises got louder and louder.

Agust opened the door to the laundry room and flicked on the light.

He gasped. "Oh fuck."

Yoonie stared at the flooded laundry room. Socks were floating in the knee high water, and laundry baskets drifted by like sailboats. There were bubbles and foam everywhere and on everything from the overloaded washing machine, that kept clunking against the dryer.

"Yoonie tell Sugie." Yoonie nodded after he got over the shock of the ruined room.

"Don't tell Suga!" Agust hissed. "He'll kill me!"

He set Yoonie down on the dry carpet and hurried into the water, groaning as it got his favorite pants wet. He kicked through the water until he got to the washing machine and quickly turned it off.

"Yay! Pool in house!" Yoonie threw up his arms with a cheer. "Yoonie do doggypaddle!"

"Fuck!" Agust looked around, having no idea how he was going to drain all this water. He groaned, his hand pressed over his face. "He's gunna kill me. They're all gunna kill me."

Yoonie frowned when he saw his Agustie upset.

"Agustie!" He reached his hands out for the older boy. "Yoonie wan' sleep!"

Agust sighed, walking back. He picked up the baby and carried him past the messy kitchen, the messy living room and the messy bathroom.

He laid Yoonie down in his crib and handed him Kitty, tucking him in under a couple blankets. "Is this enough? Are you suffocating? Die, you little demon."

Yoonie giggled, poking his head out from where he was buried under all his fluffy blankets and stuffed animals.

Agust groaned at the thought of having to bail out all that water before the others came home. It was going to be so much work, and he was exhausted already from watching Yoonie. Maybe he should just drown himself to avoid Suga beating his ass.

Yoonie reached his arms out.

Agust looked down at him wearily. "What do you want now, demon?"

"Wan' Agustie."

"I'm right here." Agust raised an eyebrow at the baby.

Yoonie pouted, straining his little arms out to reach further. "No! Yoonie wan' Agustie cuddles!"

Agust shook his head. "No way in hell, little demon."

Yoonie's face crumpled into tears.

"Okay!" Agust hastily backtracked before the baby could start one of his infamous tantrums. He climbed inside the crib, getting under the soft blankets and wrapping his arms around the fluffy baby.

Yoonie giggled in happiness, snuggling closer to the boy. "Yoonie love his Agustie."

"Don't get comfortable." Agust warned him, yawning. "I'm leaving...as soon as you...fall...asl..."

They were both fast asleep when the others came home.

Suga raised an eyebrow at the sight of a sleeping Agust holding Yoonie protectively inside Yoonie's pink crib, surrounded by stuffed animals and fuzzy blankets.

Hoseok sobbed. "It's the cutest shit I've ever seen in my life! In! My! Life!"

Seokjin and Jimin snapped picture after picture, snickering to themselves.

"Don't wake them." Namjoon scolded, shooing them out of the room.

Yoonie opened one sleepy eye at the commotion and smiled when he saw everyone was back.

"Shh!" He raised a little finger to his pouty lips. "Agustie sleeping!"

Yoongi leaned down and kissed the baby's bubblegum scented hair. "Did you have a good evening with Agust, sweet baby?"

Yoonie looked at Agust's sleeping face and remembered how many times he had laughed, how they had played together in the bathtub, the fact he had gotten two popsicles, and their new indoor pool.

"Yah!" He giggled, curling up on Agust's chest. "Yoonie love Agustie!"

"Maybe I won't have to kick his ass." Suga mused.

"Save it for the morning." Yoongi told him. "He did destroy the laundry room."

"Yeah," Suga looked at the peaceful, sleeping boy. "I'll kill him in the morning."

-

Agust sat on the couch, his hands between his knees and his head hung low as Yoongi and Suga stood over him, their arms crossed.

"Six. Thousand." Suga glared. "That's how much it's going to cost to fix the laundry room."

"How do you not know how to do laundry?" Yoongi sighed. "You just push start. You just...push...start."

"Hey," Yoonji said, opening a can of pop as she walked into the living room. "I don't know how to do laundry either. That's a man's job."

"But you've never flooded the laundry room when you've washed things before." Suga reminded her.

She shrugged. "It was bound to happen one of these days." She reached down and ruffled Agust's hair. "Cheer up, bro. At least Yoonie had fun with you."

She frowned when she smelled her hand. "Why do you smell like bubbles?"

"And don't even get me started on how you treated Yoonie!" Suga growled and Agust winced. "You can't just give him sugar to appease him! He'll get sick and you're teaching him to be a brat! And you can't terrorize him with the tub drain! He'll get nightmares!"

"Hey!"

They all turned to see Yoonie crawling over.

The baby grabbed Agust's leg, resting his chubby cheek on the boys knee as he glared at the others.

"Yoonie love Agustie! No yell at him! Agustie did good job taking cares of Yoonie! Can't blame Agustie for being new to taking cares of Yoonie- Agustie no done it before! Was so sudden!" He scolded the adults.

Agust's cheeks blushed at Yoonie's words, and he peeked through his hair to see Yoonji smirking, Yoongi passive and Suga startled.

"Kid's got a point." Yoonji said, sipping her drink. "You kinda dumped the baby on him with no handbook, Su."

"Well- I...Yoonie is the easiest baby ever to take care of!" Suga tried to defend himself.

"Yoonie was mean to his Agustie." Yoonie faced the boy. "Yoonie is sorry he was bad babypie for Agustie. Yoonie want Agustie to babysit him again! Yoonie promises to be good for his Agustie!"

Agust didn't know what to say. On one hand, the thought of having to take care of Yoonie again was horrifying.

But on the other...he knew he could never say no to the little demon.

"Well?" Yoongi asked him. "Will you babysit Yoonie again? He wants you to."

Agust puffed out his cheeks and shrugged. "If he wants me to...I guess I have to, or else he'll throw one of his demonic tantrums. So...whatever."

Yoonie shrieked with delight, reaching his arms up for Agust to pick him up.

Agust scooped the chubby baby up, and Yoonie hugged him.

"Yoonie love Agustie." Yoonie smooshed his pouty lips against Agust's cheek.

"Ah! Gross!" Agust pushed him away, and Yoongi, Suga and Yoonji laughed and finally left.

As soon as they did, Agust quickly grabbed Yoonie back and crushed him in a hug.

"I love you too, you little demon."

-

Pain

------------

Yoongi was reading a magazine on the bed when Jungkook poked his head in.

"Yoongi," the younger boy whispered.

Yoongi looked up. "Hey, Kook. What's up?"

"Everyone's gone," Jungkook purred. "It's just us home...you know what that means!"

Yoongi did, and his heart pounded excitedly. He leaped off the bed, already ripping his buttons apart as he yanked his shirt off.

Jungkook raced inside the room, kicking the door shut behind him, pulling out the knife he had snatched from the kitchen.

Yoongi's cock jumped at the sight of it, and he struggled with kicking his pants off.

"Allow me," Jungkook slid to his knees in front of the teacher. He grabbed Yoongi's perfect thighs in each hand, mouthing at the boys covered cock, feeling how hard he was getting already.

He grinned. A perfect pain slut.

He pressed the tip of the large knife against the black denim, ripping through it easily with the sharp knife and slowly sawed through the fabric, cutting the teachers pants off of him.

Yoongi moaned when the knife nicked his sensitive inner thighs, leaning against the wall for support as Jungkook paid his injury no mind.

Finally, the ruined jeans were shredded on the floor, and Jungkook put the knife in his mouth, biting the blade between his teeth as he rubbed his face against Yoongi's front.

"Oh," Yoongi threw his head back, fingers running through Jungkook's hair. "Fuck, Koo."

Blood ran down his pale thigh, and Jungkook pressed his finger against the cut and smirked when Yoongi trembled from the pleasure and pain mix.

Before they could go any further, the door suddenly burst open and Namjoon and Suga barged in, glaring.

"Sub!" Yoongi gasped. "We were just..." He took in the way his blood was on Jungkook's lips. "...cannibalism."

"Min Yoongi." Namjoon growled, storming over. "What have I told you about pain play?"

Jungkook pulled the knife out of his mouth and hastily got to his feet as Namjoon approached. "Wait, come on, I would never actually hurt him-"

"You wouldn't?" Yoongi looked betrayed.

"Of course I would!" Jungkook backtracked.

"You would?" Namjoon raised an eyebrow and Jungkook sweated nervously.

"Uh, um...I..." He gulped.

Suga shook his head and swiped the knife from Jungkook's hand. "We've told you two, we don't like it when you two play like this. It's dangerous and we don't want to see either of you hurt."

"But it feels good." Yoongi pouted.

"It shouldn't!" Namjoon glared. "There's a million other ways you can get off that don't involve a trip to the ICU! Play with one of those!"

"You're over reacting." Yoongi scowled, pushing himself off the wall. "We're both consenting adults who are in a healthy, loving relationship and know enough about pain and the human body to do it safely. You're both just being over protective."

"And fun suckers!" Jungkook pouted.

At Suga's stare he wilted. "Sorry."

"Like I said." Namjoon pointed at both of them. "No more pain play."

The two left, taking the knife with them and Yoongi and Jungkook groaned in boredom.

"Now what?" Yoongi sulked.

"We could still fuck." Jungkook offered.

Yoongi sighed. "It's not the same if I'm not bruised and bloody."

Jungkook sighed too. "You're right. What's the point in being strong enough to break a wall with your body if they won't let me do it?"

Yoongi moaned at the image. "We gotta stand up to them! I won't have my own sub boss me around!"

"Yeah!" Jungkook cheered him on.

"I'm not gunna play fucking checkers when I could be getting thrown down the stairs!"

"Yeah!!!"

"Let's get all the knives and spend the night in the ICU!"

"Yeah!!!"

-

Yoongi scowled, moving his black checker piece across the board. "This is bullshit."

Jungkook studied the board, moving his own red piece. "At least we can still hang out together."

Yoongi glanced at the way Namjoon and Suga were hovering nearby, watching the two men play like they were their babysitters. "This is demeaning. They're treating us like we're Yoonie's age."

Jungkook captured Yoongi's piece and removed it from the board. "Haha!"

Yoongi made a face at the boring game. "We should be able to participate in pain play if we want to."

"I agree." Jungkook looked over his shoulder at the two boys watching them. "Hey, what if we started a petition and got everyone in the house to agree with us? Then Namjoon and Suga wouldn't be able to argue if they're in the minority!"

Yoongi thought about it. "It's worth a try."

They both jumped up and Namjoon and Suga quickly hurried over.

"Where are you going?" Namjoon asked.

"To Team One Braincells room, sub." Yoongi huffed. "Can I do that or are you going to tie me in bubble wrap first?"

Namjoon looked to Suga. "That's a good idea."

"We should look into it." Suga agreed.

Yoongi's eyes widened as they actually considered it and raced away from them, running up the stairs before they could buy some bubble wrap.

Jungkook quickly headed to the backyard, knowing the two protective boys wouldn't follow them if he and Yoongi were separated.

Yoonie and Jimin were playing in the garden while Yoonji watched them.

"Hey, Ji." Jungkook pulled out a piece of paper. "Could you sign this for me?"

"What's it for?" She asked, her eyes not leaving the two little ones.

"Uh, well, basically, Namjoon and Suga won't let me hurt Yoongi in pain play because they're super strict and lame." Jungkook explained. "And we thought that maybe if we got everyone in the house to agree to let us do what we want, then maybe Namjoon and Suga will back off."

"Pain play, huh?" Yoonji looked at him. "You mean the actual hardcore stuff right? Not the little bitch baby fake play?"

"Uh...?" Jungkook didn't know what to say.

"You've threatened to kill him before, right?" Yoonji asked.

"Wh-what?"

"You've brought him to the brink of death before, right? Or do you just give him a papercut and call yourself a sadist for the title?" She asked. "I can show you how a real sadist operates." She stood up and Jungkook panicked.

"Um..." He backed away. "I'm just gunna go find...someone else..."

Yoonji smirked as he raced away, turning her attention back to the two littles.

"Hey! What have I told you two about eating dirt?!"

-

Jungkook knocked on Agust's door, opening it and finding him and RM there.

"What's up, muscle bunny?" Agust asked, not looking up from his computer as he killed people.

RM didn't look up from his book, laying stretched out on Agust's bed.

"Hey, can you two sign this for me and Yoongi?" Jungkook held out the paper.

"What is it?" Agust finally took off his headset and faced Jungkook.

Jungkook explained the situation as RM came over and read it as well.

"Pain play, huh?" Agust raised an eyebrow. "You know, I never really saw the appeal in that."

RM punched the older boys shoulder.

"Ow!" Agust exclaimed, slapping his hand over the forming bruise. "What the fuck was that for?"

"Just making sure." RM said.

"Wait, try it again." Agust said, holding his arm out, but RM instead kicked the boys abdomen, making him gasp and fall over.

"Can you two dumbasses just sign it?" Jungkook sighed, holding out a pen. "It's for me and Yoongi anyways, not you."

RM signed it, not caring, and Agust did as well, after wheezing and picking himself up.

"Only because when you send Yoongi to the ICU, I want to record it for my YouTube channel." Agust said, handing the pen back.

"I'm not gunna send him to the ICU." Jungkook rolled his eyes.

-

"Sign." Yoongi placed the paper down in front of the three boys who were watching a movie in the guest bedroom.

"Fuck yeah!" Hoseok snatched the paper up immediately. "I love signing things without reading it first! You never know what you're gunna get!"

Seokjin looked the paper over when Hoseok handed it to him and snorted. "Really? It's come to this?"

"Namjoon and Suga are too protective." Yoongi said. "Jungkook and I have the right to hurt each other if we want to."

Taehyung frowned. "But...I kinda agree with them. It's dangerous."

"We know what we're doing." Yoongi said. "We know where to draw the line, and it's fully consensual."

Taehyung still didn't like it, but he signed anyways. Yoongi took the paper and met Jungkook back out in the hallway with it.

"Think this will be enough to change their minds?" Jungkook asked, looking at their paper.

Yoongi shrugged. "I think this effort will mean something to them."

They went back down stairs and found Namjoon and Suga sitting at the kitchen table.

Jungkook took a deep breath, ready to launch into his speech he had prepared, but Suga spied them and waved them over.

"Hey, we were just talking about you two!" He greeted as they walked over.

"Su and I have been talking and we decided we can't control your lives. We won't always agree on everything but that's life and relationships, and we trust you two to take things easy and not send each other to the ICU." Namjoon explained.

Yoongi swiped the paper from Jungkook and crumpled it up, tossing it in the trash as he hugged the two boys. "Thank you."

He faced Jungkook, grinning. "Kook, get the knife."

-

"What the hell happened?" Namjoon demanded, bursting through the doors of the ICU.

Agust walked around the two hospital cots, filming everything on his phone. "Oh man, this is so gunna get a thousand views."

Yoongi groaned, shifting uncomfortably in his arm cast, the bruises all over his pale skin showing vibrantly under the fluorescent lights.

"We...went too hard." Jungkook croaked out, both wrapped in gauze. He had stitches around three fingers, and scratches littered his skin.

"I told you!" Suga huffed. "No more pain play- ever!"

"Not our fault!" Yoongi wheezed. "We were just going to play on the roof, experiment a little, and then we fell through. It was the roofers fault!"

Seokjin sighed. "I'll buy the bubble wrap."

-

It was three weeks before the boys could be released back home, and Jungkook thought they were joking about the bubble wrap, until Suga grabbed his arm and started wrapping the clear wrap around it.

"Hey!" Jungkook gasped.

"Oh, let them." Yoongi sighed in defeat, still sore.

Yoonie crawled over and tried to bite the bubbles, nomming on the clear plastic, until Suga scooped him up and carried him away.

"We deserve this after what we put them through, anyways."

So they allowed the others to take care of them, and Yoongi and Jungkook would be lying if they said they didn't enjoy being the center of everyone's attention for a month.

Maybe there was something better than pain play.

-

Stuck In Perverts Paradise

-----------------------------------

It took a while, but Namjoon kept his promise to visit Hoseok's store.

It was closed on Sunday's, but of course Hoseok had the key and he opened it, leading Namjoon around the aisles full of sex toys, some of which Namjoon had never even seen before.

"Was this the machine that kept Seokjin screaming all night long?" He asked warily, eyeing a contraption that looked straight out of a torture porno.

"A dom never reveals his subs secrets." Hoseok said seriously, then leaned in and whispered loudly, "Yes it was."

Hoseok gave him the grand tour, and Namjoon even surprised himself by finding some items he would love to try out on Yoongi.

Finally, they were ready to head back home and have whatever delicious dinner Seokjin had prepared for them.

Hoseok pushed on the door, and frowned when it didn't budge.

"The hell...?" He looked out and noticed the heavy box blocking the doorway, and the delivery van driving away.

"What's going on?" Namjoon asked.

Hoseok pushed again on the door, but it wouldn't open. The box was simply too heavy.

Hoseok laughed nervously, and faced Namjoon. "Soo...funny story, you're gunna laugh."

Namjoon glared. "You're not serious."

He shoved Hoseok aside and pushed and pulled on the door handle, making the whole door rattle in its frame, but even he wasn't strong enough to free them.

"Who the hell even delivers on Sundays?!" He growled, slamming his fist on the door.

"It must be the new machine parts." Hoseok thought. "My fucking machine display wasn't working properly so I ordered a new one plus spare parts. It's the newest model, I think I read it was like 200 pounds because of the deluxe battery. I told him to leave it in the back door though, they must not have read that part of my note."

"Damnit!" Namjoon was frustrated. "I don't want to be stuck in a sex store with you!"

But Hoseok was ecstatic. "This is like my biggest dream come true!"

Namjoon dug out his phone, and quickly called Yoongi.

He picked up after a few rings. "Sub."

"Pervert. Look, Hoseok and I are locked in his store. Grab Jungkook and get over here and free us."

"Hmm..." Yoongi sounded like he was thinking. "I'm kinda in the middle of my show right now."

"What?" Namjoon was stunned. "Did you not hear me? I said I'm stuck in a sex store with Jung fucking Hoseok! Get me out of here now!"

"It's the season finale." Yoongi said. "I need to find out who the flower killer is."

"Yoongi I swear to God-"

Yoongi hung up on him.

Namjoon stared at his phone in disbelief while Hoseok started dancing behind him.

"Sleepover with Nyummie!" He cheered. "Oh it's just like old times!"

Namjoon quickly called Suga. "Su! Please, come save me! I'm at Hoseok's store and there's a heavy box in front of the door and we can't open it-"

"Sorry, Namjoon." Suga apologized. "I can't. Yoonji and I are at a wine tasting retreat, remember? Have you called Yoongi?"

"Yes, he sucks ass." Namjoon complained.

Suga laughed. "Ask Jungkook, you know he'll always help you."

-

"Sorry, I can't help you." Jungkook said after Namjoon called him next.

"What?!" Namjoon could feel his heart sinking as his list got shorter and shorter and Hoseok's dancing increased aggressively behind him.

"Jimin slipped into sub space and Tae is in puppy space right now, I have both hands full." Jungkook explained. "After I get them both to bed I'll come help you."

"That could be hours from now!" Namjoon whined.

"You're not gunna die in that time." Jungkook laughed. "I'll text you when I'm on my way."

He hung up and Namjoon went through his list.

Yoongi, Suga, Yoonji, Jungkook, Jimin, Taehyung and Yoonie couldn't help. He only had Agust, Seokjin and RM left.

He couldn't believe he was doing this, but he called Agust next.

"Yellow?" The boy answered.

"Agust- I need you to come to Hoseok's store and move this heavy box out of the way of the door so he and I can get out." Namjoon explained quickly. "Hurry! I can't stand his dance moves!"

"Hmmmmm...nah." Agust said, and then there was the sound of chips being crunched.

"What?!" Namjoon asked. "Why the hell not?"

"I'm watching the little demon and Suga put on these cartoons for him and they're like...messin' with my brain. All these shapes and colors, I feel high."

"Agust- for fucks sake, I really need your help right now!"

"Call me after this show ends. Sparkle Princess the Pinkiest is showing the evil dragon dweller the meaning of friendship, I gotta see how this plays out." Agust said, and hung up.

"Hey, Namnumbuggiebabypiepoo!" Hoseok called, peeking around the aisle. He held up a large vibrator. "I bet I can shove this whole thing up my ass! Watch!"

Desperately, Namjoon dialed his next contact.

"Hello?" RM answered.

"Hey, I need you to come to h-"

"No." RM hung up.

With a groan, Namjoon called Seokjin, his last hope.

"Namjoon!" Seokjin greeted. "Are you two on your way? Dinner is almost ready!"

"No, we're stuck in Hobi's store." Namjoon said. "Can you come help us?"

"How did that happen?" Seokjin frowned.

"Some dumbass left a heavy ass box in front of the door and we can't push it away." Namjoon explained. "We're stuck inside and no one else will come help!"

"No one else? Wait- did you call everyone but me?" Seokjin asked.

"I called you now, didn't I?" Namjoon said.

"I was your last resort?" Seokjin was offended. "What- did you think I'm too weak to push that box or something? Too dumb to figure something out?"

"What? No! I just-"

"Have fun spending the night with Hobi, bitch." Seokjin hung up.

Namjoon couldn't believe it. Everyone had ditched him. He was on his own for an indeterminable amount of time with...Hoseok.

He risked turning around and saw the boy laying on top of a shelf stand, naked.

Hoseok winked at him, his head in his hand. "Sup. Get stuck in here often?"

Namjoon threw himself at the door, but other than rattling a little, it didn't budge. "Let me out! Let me out!!!"

-

He finally gave up, exhausted. He sat against the door, pulling off his sweat stained shirt.

Hoseok came around the corner. "Hey, look! I forgot I sold edible body paint! Let's draw faces on our dicks!"

Namjoon scowled at him. "We're literally stuck in here, how do you not care?"

"Cause I'm stuck in here with you." Hoseok hummed, painting his body with random colors. "How do I look, Nyumcakes?"

"Like a gay rainbow." Namjoon muttered.

"Let's do face painting!" Hoseok said excitedly. He hurried over and held out a brush to Namjoon's cheeks, and the boy slapped it away.

"Stop it! I don't want to do face painting, I want to go home!" He snapped.

"And we will, eventually." Hoseok said. "Jungkook will come get us soon, and Yoongi will come over as well. But until then, we have the whole store to ourselves. What's a better way to pass the time than with a couple orgasms?"

Namjoon sighed, bored out of his mind. He supposed the boy was right. It wasn't like they were going to be here forever, and there were definitely worse places to get stuck in, with worse people to be stuck with.

"Fine," He muttered, giving up. "Find a clean place and I'll fuck you."

Hoseok giggled and grabbed Namjoon's hands, yanking him to his feet and guiding him to a door labelled STAFF ONLY.

He pushed it open and flicked on the light, revealing a king sized bed in the middle of the room.

"Don't worry, the sheets get cleaned daily." Hoseok explained to Namjoon's shocked expression. "I have this here for when Jin stops by."

"Do you even do anything here other than fuck Seokjin?" Namjoon sighed as he was led to the bed.

"What else is there to do?" Hoseok blinked.

He climbed onto the bed and Namjoon exhaled heavily but followed, kicking his pants and boxers off.

The covers were soft and smelled like fresh laundry, so at least Hoseok had been telling the truth about it being clean.

He pushed Hoseok onto his back, ready to fuck him like he said he would, but then Hoseok raised his hands to stop him.

"Wait, I wanna fuck you instead." He pouted.

Namjoon paused. "Why? I'm more dom than you."

"That's debatable. But as much as I loved you fucking me in that orgy, I want to return the favor. Please? I've always dreamed of doing that!" Hoseok pleaded.

Namjoon frowned. "Why can't you have normal dreams like a normal person?"

"Pleeeeeeeeeeeeease?" Hoseok clasped his hands together and begged.

Namjoon sighed. "Fine. But only once, and you can't tell the others about it."

Hoseok sealed his lips shut, and giggled as he switched their positions.

Namjoon huffed as his cheek hit the fluffy pillow, feeling Hoseok push his thighs apart to reveal his stretched hole.

"Wow..." Hoseok stared. "Can I take a picture?"

"Hoseok!"

"Okay, fine, I'll only take a mental one."

Namjoon sighed but let him. He didn't know why Hoseok was so...Hoseok-y, but he couldn't lie and say he wasn't endeared by the boy's constant enthusiasm for everything.

"The rumors are true," Hoseok breathed, reaching a finger out and rubbing it over the boys hole. "Yoongi does keep you stretched."

"Hey!" Namjoon clenched at the feeling. "No funny business, just fuck me with your cock and nothing else!"

"Yes sir! Right away sir! I'll remember this moment forever sir!" Hoseok saluted, before wiggling into place, guiding the tip of his cock to Namjoon's hole.

He wasn't as big as Yoongi, but was definitely faster, and Namjoon groaned at the fast pace.

"Fuck, you're practically vibrating!" He clawed at the sheets, fisting them as pleasure grew inside him like a slow tidal wave.

Hoseok didn't respond, too busy giving his all to this task.

"Ah- ah- ah-" Namjoon panted, not expecting Hoseok to be this good. "F-fuck- ah- ah!"

Hoseok could have come alone on hearing the attractive boys deep moans, especially knowing that he was the cause of them.

"Fuck, Joon, so fucking perfect," He growled, slamming his hips against Namjoon's ass.

Namjoon moaned at the praise, tightening up against Hoseok and that made them both groan in pleasure.

"Yoongi...so...lucky..." Hoseok grunted, angling his cock to find Namjoon's prostate. "Both of you...so...ethereal."

Namjoon's grip on the sheets was shaking, he was clenching them so tightly. He never expected Hoseok to be this good, and was jealous Seokjin had got this boy all to himself for so long.

"H- Hobi," He moaned, raising his hips to meet Hoseok's thrusts better.

Hoseok didn't stop his fast pace, or slow down in the slightest. "What, whore? Can't handle me fucking you? You always acted like you were so much more dominant than me, but now look at you. Always stretched like a slut, ready to bend over and let Yoongi fuck you like you're just a bitch. Now you're ass up in my store, getting ruined by me and moaning nonstop. You're not a dom at all, barely even a switch."

Namjoon's pleasure spiked at the degradation, moaning brokenly as he was fucked into without remorse. "F-fuck..."

He shuddered, about to come already- Hoseok was just relentless.

Hoseok spread Namjoon's legs further apart, grabbing the boys hips and lifting them higher to pound into him better.

Namjoon gasped in pleasure when sparks exploded as Hoseok jabbed his prostate. "Fuck!"

Hoseok smirked. "Oh, right there, huh?"

He aimed for that spot only, and Namjoon could have cried from how good it felt.

"Fuck, ah, Hobi- ah! G-gunna, fuck- gunna come!" He stuttered out brokenly.

"I'm not stopping you, do what a slut's made for." Hoseok ordered, and Namjoon shuddered and obeyed.

He came with a shaky cry, his sensitivity doubling as his climax hit and Hoseok fucked him through it.

He groaned, collapsing back down to the pillows, too tired to do anything as Hoseok kept fucking into him. "Ohh..."

Hoseok tossed his head back, chasing his own release. "Fuck, damnit Nyummiebee, so fucking perfect."

Namjoon's weak whimper was enough to tip him over the edge, and then the dom was coming too, spilling into the boys hole.

They both took a few minutes to calm down and then Hoseok reached for something.

"Here, hold this for me."

Namjoon winced at the over sensitivity as Hoseok forced the large buttplug into his hole, sealing his come inside the boy.

Hoseok rubbed Namjoon's ass proudly. "There. Now let Yoongi find it and tell him all about how I fucked you so good, okay, Namdearest?"

Namjoon flipped onto his back, coming down from his high.

Hoseok slid off the bed, fetching something.

Namjoon's eyes were closed, but they opened at the sound of a vibrator turning on.

Hoseok was holding something Namjoon had never seen before, but it flashed multiple colors and vibrated.

"Can I try this on you, Nyammie?"

Namjoon stared at it.

"Fuck yeah." He breathed.

-

Jungkook parked the car and he, Yoongi and Seokjin hurried up to the door.

There was a large box in front of it, and it took all three of them pushing it to get it out of the way.

"Sub?" Yoongi called, walking inside.

Jungkook flicked on the lights. "Weird...where are they?"

Seokjin heard moaning and he gasped, running over to a door. "I know that sound anywhere! It's someone getting fucked relentlessly by Hobi!"

He threw open the door and they were all shocked to see Hoseok on top of Namjoon, who was blindfolded, gagged and bound to the bed, and Hoseok leaning over him, fucking him and holding a hitachi magic wand in his hand.

They all stopped at the confrontation, and Hoseok powered off the wand.

"Ah." He said. "The rescue team is here."

Jungkook hurried over, unable to keep the smirk off his face as he untied the fucked out boy. "You okay, Joon?"

Namjoon's eyes were unfocused, his mouth open but nothing coherent coming out.

"Hobi!" Seokjin shoved him. "I've been begging you to use that thing on me for months now and you just use it on Namjoon with no hesitation? Am I even your favorite slut?!"

"Of course, baby." Hoseok dropped everything to hug Seokjin, who pouted and glared. "You're the prettiest, horniest, most beautiful whore ever, with the best ass for my cock."

Seokjin blushed and smiled, swatting Hoseok's shoulder. "You're just saying that."

Yoongi helped Jungkook dress Namjoon back in his discarded clothes. "Did you enjoy your time with Hobi, baby?" He discovered the plug in his sub and played with it, slowly fucking his baby with the toy with an evil smirk.

Namjoon could only moan, and Jungkook laughed.

"I'll take that as a yes." He said, guiding them all back to the car.

Namjoon passed out in the backseat almost instantly, his head in Yoongi's lap while the dom played with his hair.

Hoseok climbed in beside them, Seokjin on his lap as the two made out shamelessly while Jungkook drove.

"Thanks for taking care of him for me." Yoongi said to Hoseok, who broke apart from Seokjin to reply.

"No problem. I'll gladly do it again." He said as Seokjin sucked on his neck. "He was the perfect sub."

They drove down the quiet, dark road, with the street lights occasionally sweeping over them.

Hoseok was looking out the window, when a warm hand suddenly grabbed his. He glanced over and saw Namjoon half asleep, holding his hand.

He smiled. "Go to sleep, Nyumbug."

"Hobi...love you..." Namjoon breathed, falling asleep in Yoongi's arms.

Hoseok chuckled.

"I love you too, Min Namjoon."

-

Just Agust Things - Part 1

-----------------------------------

Jungkook was barely climbing out of the car, before Yoonie and Jiminie were swarming him, babbling and trying to grab the bags out of his hands.

"Hey, who left the door open?" Jungkook called, picking up both of them with one arm, carrying the bags with the other as he walked back into the house.

Agust had, but he didn't admit it as he watched Jungkook come in. "What'd you get?"

"Stuff for these two troublemakers." Jungkook said, setting everything down on the living room floor.

Immediately, the two babies dug into the bags, pulling out the new toys, supplies and books.

"Oo!" Jimin gasped, pulling out a light up toy, his eyes wide.

Yoonie giggled and yanked the plastic bag over his head.

Jungkook sighed and yanked it off. "Can you keep an eye on them for a sec while I help Suga carry in the groceries?"

Agust sighed for an eternity, collapsing onto the couch dramatically. "But moooooooOoooooooom, I don't wanna!"

"Thanks, be right back." Jungkook shut the door behind him so the babies couldn't run out again as he hurried to help Suga carry in the other bags.

Agust glanced down at the two little ones who were playing with their new toys, giggling and shrieking in delight.

Then Jimin found the glittery pink pacifier and gasped, picking it up.

Yoonie saw it too and dropped the stuffed animal he had been playing with, crawling over to rest his tiny, chubby hands on Jimin's thigh. "Oh! Yoonie want!" He nodded and opened his little mouth wide for the pacifier.

Jimin frowned. "No, is Diminie's. Found it first."

Yoonie gasped in betrayal when Jimin put it in his own mouth instead of sharing.

"No!" He wailed, twisting over to throw a tantrum in Jimin's lap. "Yoonie want! Yoonie! Not Jiminie!"

Jimin pushed him off, sucking on the pacifier. He wasn't going to share, he found it first.

"Gustie!" Yoonie cried, pointing an accusing finger at Jimin. "Jiminie stoled Yoonie's toy!"

Jimin pulled it out of his mouth with a pop. "Did not, was Jiminie's first!"

"No!"

"Yeah!"

"No!"

"Yeah!"

"NO!"

"YEAH!"

Agust cringed at the volume and quickly sat between them before they could get physical. "Hey- hey! Both of you, shut up! If you're going to argue over it then neither of you get it!"

He swiped it out of Jimin's shocked pout, and, not knowing what to do with it, he stuck it into his own mouth.

The two babies stared at him in shock for a few moments, before forgetting about it already and turning back to the other toys. They were giggling again in seconds, their fight already long gone.

Agust watched them, sucking on the pink pacifier a little absent mindedly.

The door opened and Agust froze, looking into the confused eyes of Jungkook and Suga.

"I can explain-" Agust spat it out into his hand.

Suga grinned. "Aw, does the baby like his new toy?"

"Shut the fuck up, I'll kill you." Agust hissed, his cheeks as pink as the pacifier.

"If you wanted some baby supplies too, you could have just asked." Jungkook teased him.

"I'm not a fucking baby! Fuck you!" Agust jumped up and threw the pink toy at them.

"Hey now, don't throw a tantrum." Suga scolded him. "Did you skip your nap today, baby?"

"Maybe he needs a diaper change." Jungkook walked over and Agust shrieked, falling backwards as he scrambled to run away.

Suga and Jungkook laughed as Agust raced away, cleaning off the pacifier and pulling out a new one so the two babies could each have one.

-

Later that evening, Agust was listening to music in his room, when his door was pushed open and the two babies crawled in.

"Hey, this is a no baby zone." Agust sat up and shooed them out.

"Then why Agustie here?" Yoonie asked.

"Listen here you little demon," Agust bent down and picked up the chubby baby by his kitten shirt.

Namjoon walked by and raised an eyebrow at the scene and Agust laughed nervously, setting Yoonie back down and patting the babies head.

"Here, Gustie." Jimin held out something to the boy.

Agust was confused as he accepted it, and then scowled when he saw it was the pink pacifier. "I don't-"

"Have to take it." Jimin nodded. "Is gift."

"Yah! Yoonie and Diminie share other one!" Yoonie clapped his hands.

"It's good you two are sharing but-"

"Gustie take." Jimin demanded.

"I don't want or need-"

"Take or else Yoonie screams." Yoonie added and Agust hastily grabbed the pacifier up.

"Okay, okay! Look, see, I have it. Don't scream or else Suga will burst in here and beat my ass."

"Ass." Yoonie giggled.

-

Sick

--------

Suga's day started pretty much the same every day.

Wake up, grab Yoonie from his crib, make everyone breakfast, yell at Agust for making a mess, bail Yoonji out of jail, protect Taehyung from Team One Braincell's pranks (plus Agust now), check up on RM, bang on the married couples door to remind them to stop fucking and eat their vegetables and see if Jungkook needed help with anything.

But today was different.

Today, Suga was sick.

He rolled over in bed with a groan, his head and stomach killing him.

He could hear Yoonie waking up in the room right next to him, his little footie covered feetsies kicking the crib bars.

"Sugie!" The baby called. "Where SuSu?"

He forced himself to sit up, groaning at the nausea that crashed over him from the action.

"Coming, baby!" He called, his voice scratchy.

He got to his feet weakly, and the room swayed.

Yoonie looked up as someone entered his nursery and he beamed when he saw it was his Sugie.

"Subie!" He giggled, reaching his hands up for him.

Suga coughed into his arm a few times before reaching down to pick the baby up.

Yoonie frowned at Suga's sweaty, pale skin. "Sugie is sicky?"

"I'm okay," Suga croaked, carrying the baby carefully. "Do you want to take your bath before or after breakfast, little one?"

"Sugie will protect Yoonie from tub monster?" Yoonie asked with worry in his big eyes.

"Of course, angel." Suga promised, carrying him to the bathroom.

He bumped into Jungkook in the hallway and the younger boy frowned. "Hey, you okay? You don't look so good."

Suga tried to tell him he was fine, but then he felt the urge to throw up and he quickly shoved a surprised Yoonie into Jungkook's arms, racing to the toilet just in time.

Jungkook held Yoonie in the doorway. "Yeah, just as I thought. Get your ass back to bed, Min Suga."

Suga shook his head tiredly. "Can't, too much to do."

He stood up on shaky legs, feeling cold and exhausted.

Jungkook sighed and set Yoonie down on the carpet. "Stay."

Yoonie stuffed his chubby fingers into his mouth, nomming on them as he watched Jungkook grab Suga, hauling him out of the bathroom. He crawled after the two boys, following them as Jungkook gently but forcefully ushered the older boy back into bed.

"Jungkook-" Suga protested, trying to fight him weakly. "I can't, breakfast needs to be made and I have to make sure Agust doesn't fuck everything up, not to mention Yoongi needs to be looked after and Yoonji-"

"Will all be fine." Jungkook assured him. "I'll take care of everything."

"That's too much for one person to do!" Suga shook his head, then groaned at the nausea that caused.

"You do it, everyday." Jungkook reminded him. "Lay down. The sooner you get better the sooner you can get back up."

Suga knew he was right, and he didn't want to get anyone else sick, but it was hard to let go of control of the house. What if something went wrong?

"I'll get Seokjin to help me with breakfast and then bring you some medicine." Jungkook said, pulling the blankets over the tired boy.

Suga was halfway asleep already and Jungkook gently shut the door behind him, scooping up Yoonie as he headed back down the hallway to Seokjin and Hoseok's room.

"Jin," he whispered, pushing the door open. "Jin!"

"Mm?" Seokijn sleepily rolled over in bed. "Guk?"

"Can you help me make breakfast?" Jungkook whispered.

Seokjin yawned and rubbed his eyes. "Wha-? What time is it? Where's Suga?"

"Eight. And he's not feeling well so I put him back to bed." Jungkook explained quietly, trying not to wake up Hoseok.

"The pretty Seokjinnie!" Yoonie screeched happily.

Hoseok shot up in bed, half asleep. "Huh? Whassat?"

Seokjin pushed the covers off of him and padded over. "Good morning baby, what do you want to eat today?"

"Cheerios!" Yoonie cheered. "And popcorn!"

"Hobi, get up." Seokjin called. "Suga is sick so we gotta step up."

"No." Hoseok went back under the covers.

Seokjin tossed Yoonie onto him.

"Wheeeee!" Yoongi shrieked as he flew through the air and landed on top of Hoseok.

"Oof!" Hoseok wheezed, sitting back up.

Yoonie giggled and pounded his little hands on Hoseok's face. "Again! Again!"

Hoseok sighed and picked up the baby. "Alright, alright, I'm up."

He followed the other two down to the kitchen and set Yoonie in his high chair while Jungkook and Seokjin started cooking.

Namjoon yawned and came down a little while later. "Morning."

"Hey, Joon." Jungkook handed a tray to the boy. "Can you bring this to Suga?"

Namjoon frowned at the medicine bottle on it. "Is he okay?"

"Just a little sick." Jungkook explained.

Namjoon sighed as he took it. "Oh great, who has to babysit Agust today then?"

"We're going to rock paper scissors for it later." Jungkook said.

Namjoon dutifully carried the tray up to Suga's room, knocking on the door before entering. "Suga? You okay?"

The boy was passed out on the bed and Namjoon walked quietly inside, not wanting to wake him. He set the tray on the bedside table for Suga to help himself to when he awoke.

"Get better soon." He whispered, shutting the door behind him gently.

-

It was almost one when Suga cracked his eyes open.

"Well good morning sleepyhead." A voice smiled, and Suga was confused, rolling over to see Yoongi sitting on the edge of his bed.

"You shouldn't be in here." Suga coughed. "You could get sick too."

"I'll be fine." Yoongi insisted. "You take care of all of us every day so it's only fair I return the favor."

"Yoongi-"

Yoongi held up his palm, two small white pills resting on his skin. "Take these. They'll help your headache and nausea."

Suga sat up and popped them both in his mouth, using the water glass to wash them down.

Yoongi grabbed the cold washcloth off the tray. "Lay down."

Suga sighed, knowing Yoongi wouldn't go away, so he obliged and wiggled back under the covers, and Yoongi crawled over to hold the boys head in his lap.

He brushed Suga's sweaty hair aside and gently dabbed his flushed face with the cool cloth.

Suga sighed at the feeling, already starting to feel a little better. "Thank you."

"Of course, angel." Yoongi murmured, rubbing the boys shoulder with his free hand.

Within minutes Suga had fallen back asleep and Yoongi continued to hold him, humming softly as laid the cool rag over the sleeping boys forehead.

Yoongi had almost drifted off as well when the door suddenly burst open and Agust raced in.

"Yo! What the haps is fuckening?" He shouted. "It's nearly 2PM and you haven't once yelled at me- oh fuck-"

Yoongi glared at him. "Shh! He's asleep!"

Agust quietly closed the door. "Is he okay? Why is he still in bed this late?"

"He's got a cold." Yoongi said. "It's just the normal 'gone in a day' kind, but he still needs his rest."

"So...he's not gunna die, right?" Agust peered down at the sleeping boy.

"No." Yoongi said, and Agust sighed softly in relief.

The door opened again and Taehyung hurried in. "Damnit Agust! I'm supposed to be watching you! You can't run off like that!"

"Not my fault you suck ass at rock paper scissors." Agust stuck out his tongue. "I am speed, you can't catch me, old man."

"Shut up," Yoongi hissed through clenched teeth as Suga stirred slightly.

"Ope." Taehyung quickly shut his mouth. He grabbed Agust's arm and dragged him out of the room.

Yoongi sighed and glanced down at Suga, who luckily stayed asleep.

The door opened again and Yoongi was about to snap at whoever was coming in, but it was Namjoon, holding Yoonie.

"See, baby?" Namjoon cooed. "Sugie's okay, he's just sleeping."

"Sleeping in day time?" Yoonie questioned. "Subie taking nap like Yoonie does?"

"Yeah, a nap." Namjoon walked over and set the baby on the bed. "Speaking of, it's about time for your nap."

"Yoonie want sleep with Sugie!" Yoonie said, quickly crawling over to the sleeping boy.

"Wait, Yoonie-"

"Ah, let him." Yoongi shrugged, yawning. "It can't hurt."

Namjoon smiled at him. "Is it your nap time too?"

"Yeah." Yoongi stuck out his tongue.

Yoonie smiled as he curled up against Suga's side, the boy rolling over in his sleep to wrap an arm around the baby automatically.

Namjoon climbed onto the bed too, beside Yoongi, and the smaller boy rested his head on Namjoon's shoulder.

-

It was evening by the time Suga yawned and rubbed his eyes, blinking them open.

He was confused to feel heavy weight on him, and he struggled to sit up, seeing why.

Everyone in the house was sleeping in his room.

Yoonie was curled against him, snoring softly around his pacifier. On his other side was Jungkook and Jimin, wrapped up in each others arms. At the end of the bed was Agust, sprawled out and snoring loudly, his legs on top of Suga. Yoongi and Namjoon were leaning against each other, fast asleep against the headboard. On the floor beside the bed, sharing a sleeping bag, was Seokjin, Taehyung and Hoseok, all passed out. On the other side on an air mattress was Yoonji.

RM was the only one awake, sitting in the chair in front of Suga's computer.

"Hey." He said quietly, not wanting to wake everyone up.

"What's going on?" Suga whispered, relieved to find his headache was gone, and his throat didn't hurt anymore.

"Everyone quickly realized how much work you do around here." RM explained. "So when you got sick and couldn't do the usual stuff, they all stepped in to help, and as you can see, got exhausted. They wanted to throw a party for you to thank you for all you do every day, but then somehow all fell asleep in here instead."

Suga smiled, looking at everyone. "They don't have to do that for me, I do what I do because I want to, and it makes me happy. It's not a chore to watch Yoonie or keep Agust out of trouble. I enjoy it."

"That's what I told them." RM muttered. "But they kept insisting."

Suga laid back down and pressed a kiss to Yoonie's forehead. "Silly boys..."

He fell back asleep with a smile on his face, and even though he was still recovering from the short cold, it was the best nights rest he had ever gotten.

-

Halloween
--------------

"You know, despite its popularity in the West, Halloween, or 'All Hallows Eve' was actually founded in Ireland." Namjoon said, watching everyone get ready to head out. "It dates all the way back to 1745, and while a lot of religious people claim it's evil in origin, it actually has Christian roots."

"Yo, Dictionary Jones, no one asked!" Agust called.

Namjoon glared at him. "A dictionary is a brobdingnagian all-encompassing treatise producing clarity of locution in a specific vernacular. If anything, I'm being an Encyclopedia, which is a-"

"Yo, Encyclopedia Jones!" Agust interrupted. "I know what a fucking Encyclopedia is!"

He muttered to himself as he pulled out his phone, quickly Googling what that was.

"Is everyone ready?" Yoongi asked as he walked down the stairs.

"Yoonie gunna get pumpykin!" Yoonie cheered in Suga's arms. He was dressed in a pink kitten onesie, and had little strawberries painted on his chubby cheeks, inspired by Kitty.

While Yoonie and Suga planned to go to a kid friendly pumpkin patch, the others were all hyped up to go to a new haunted house that just opened up and was rumored to be the scariest attraction in the whole country.

"Scarier than a pissed off Suga?" Agust had muttered when he heard about it. "I'll believe it when I see it."

"What was that?" Suga had asked and Agust nearly had a heart attack.

"I said it's scary that I piss sugar!" He hastily exclaimed and raced away.

"Misun's here!" Yoonji called, as headlights flashed in the driveway. She opened the door to let her girlfriend in.

"Hey." Misun smiled at everyone.

"What are your costumes?" Hoseok asked them, taking in their normal street clothes.

"I'm Wednesday Adams." Yoonji said.

"And I'm what Wednesday Adams was for Halloween." Misun said.

"Yoonie is Kitty!" Yoonie called and Seokjin cooed, kissing the boys little nose.

"Alright, Namjoon and Team One Braincell are with me," Yoongi said. "Yoonji, Misun and Yoonie are with Suga, and Agust and RM are with Jungkook and Jimin."

"Team!" Taehyung shouted, pumping his fist in the air.

"One!" Seokjin copied him.

"Braincell!" Hoseok added, referencing the matching white shirts they were all wearing, with Taehyung's saying team, Seokjin being one and Hoseok was braincell.

"That says Briancell." RM pointed out.

-

They all pulled into the parking lot and got their tickets, walking under a jack-o-lantern lit archway to the main area, where a giant bonfire was lit to keep guests warm, and food trucks were parked all around.

"Okay, it says the pumpkin patch is over here, so I'll take Yoonie and meet you all back at the bonfire around midnight." Suga said, waving as he carried Yoonie over to the pumpkins.

"This better be worth the price of admission." Yoonji complained as the rest of them headed to the line that was waiting to enter the haunted house.

"It says there's different themes." Taehyung said, holding up the flyer that had been handed to him at the entrance. "We could split into groups and each take a different one to get the full experience."

"Whichever one is the scariest is the one I'll take!" Agust declared loudly from the front of the group. He looked up at RM. "Don't worry baby, I'll protect you."

RM raised an eyebrow at the fact he was taller, stronger and broader than Agust. "If you say so."

Agust stopped walking to face him, his eyes suddenly big. "Wh-what does that mean?"

Yoongi smiled at his group, one hand stuffed in his pocket to keep warm, the other holding Namjoon's hand.

"Which theme do you want, baby?" He asked.

Namjoon shrugged. "Doesn't matter to me, nothing is scary anymore after what I saw when I accidentally walked in on Hoseok and Jin doing-" He shuddered at the traumatic memory. "Unspeakable things."

Yoongi couldn't help but grin at his husbands misery. "There, there, sweetie. Remember what the therapist said."

Namjoon sighed as they all got in line for the haunted house.

"What are the themes?" Seokjin rested his chin on Taehyung's shoulder as he looked at the flyer.

"Asylum, 'abandoned' orphanage, hospital, forest and cemetery." Taehyung read.

"Asylum!" Agust called. "I heard that one was the scariest, so me and RM will take that one."

"Dibs on the cemetery." Misun raised her hand.

"We can take the hospital." Jungkook said, holding Jimin's hand.

"Orphanage all the way!" Hoseok called.

"Guess that leaves us with the forest," Namjoon nudged Yoongi. "Get it? Leaves?"

Yoongi sighed. "I want a divorce."

"Hey, let's all record our experiences to show the others after we're all done!" Jungkook offered up. "One person from each group should record on their phones so Suga can see it too!"

Agust scoffed, tossing his head back. "You'll all see how fucking bored I was the whole time! Yawning in the face of ghosts and shit, none of it's real anyways. They should have made a theme based off serial killers or something that actually exists. I could make my own haunted house ten times scarier than this place!"

"Does he have an off switch?" Namjoon muttered.

"Everyone has an off switch if you hit them hard enough." Misun said.

RM pointed at her. "This one. I like."

"Me too." Yoonji grinned, kissing her cheek.

Agust and RM were at the front of the group, so as the line finally moved, they were the first to enter the haunted house, taking the dark tunnel labelled Afterlife Asylum.

Agust yawned dramatically at the entrance of the tunnel. "Boooooooriiiiiiiiiing- hey!"

RM shoved him inside, much to everyone else's relief.

Agust confidently strode ahead down the pitch black tunnel, his cocky smirk almost lighting the way. "Stay behind me, little RMie baby, I'll protect you from-ᵉᵉᵉᵉᵉᵉᵉᵉᵉᵉᵉ!"

He screamed in such a high pitched voice that RM's ears started ringing.

Agust raced back and leaped into RM, nearly tackling him to the ground.

RM sighed as Agust clung to him, the smaller boys nails puncturing through his jacket and digging right into his skin. "Seriously? The attraction hasn't even started yet."

Agust took a few moments to calm down his rapid breathing, risking a look behind him with wide eyes. He cleared his throat. "Well...then that was a very realistic spider."

"They wouldn't bother putting a fake spider out here, we're outside, remember? That was a real spi-"

"ᴱᵉᵉᵉᵉᵉᵉᵉᵉᵉᵉᵉᵉᵉᵉᵉᵉᵉᵉᵉᵉᵉᵉᵉᵉᵉᵉᵉᵉᵉᵉᵉᵉᵉᵉᵉᵉᵉᵉᵉᵉᵉᵉᵉᵉ!!!!!!"

-

Jungkook squeezed Jimin's hands. "It's okay if you're scared, remember this is all fake."

"F-fake?'' A little voice questioned, and the couple turned to see a group of young children behind them, cowering together in a dark corner.

"How did you all get here?" Jimin asked. "Isn't this place like for eighteen year olds and up only?"

"We was in the pumpkin p-patch!" One of them called. "Then we saw the pumpkins over here too and wanted to see them!"

"But now we're too scared to move!" Another cried, hugging himself. "I want my mommy!"

Jungkook looked around, but there didn't seem to be any workers or adults nearby just yet. "Okay, everyone hold hands. We'll get through this together. Does everyone have a walking buddy?"

"Yeah!" The kids cheered, holding up their joined hands.

Jimin smiled and held their hands as well, and he and Jungkook walked them down the tunnel. "Well, I'm Jungkook, and this is Jimin. Normally you shouldn't follow strangers, but we're going to help you guys find your parents, okay? I know it looks scary, but everything here is fake."

"So, this is fake?" One of them called, stopping to stare at a patch of grass.

"No, that's...that's real grass." Jungkook said.

"Is this fake?" A little boy poked his walking buddy's cheek.

"No, that's- wait, what's your name?"

"Danny."

"That's Danny."

"What 'bout this?" Another called, pointing at a man in a blood soaked lab coat, standing in his exhibit.

"Yes, that's fake." Jungkook said. "They make fake blood so he looks scary, but you don't have to be afraid, he's not actually hurt, and he's not going to hurt you either."

"Doctors are nice people." Jimin hummed to the group. "You should always visit a doctor once a year, and always tell your mommy or daddy if you have an ouch spot, okay everyone?"

"Okay Jimin!" The group chorused.

Jimin bent down and scooped up two little kids, hugging them tightly. "Can we keep them?" He begged Jungkook.

-

Seokjin and Taehyung screamed as the little girl dressed in torn, bloody clothes suddenly leaped at them, her dirty fingernails grabbing at their shirts.

Hoseok scoffed as the two held each other, his hands on his hips. "Seriously, you two? I saw her coming a mile away!"

"You can't blame us for getting jump scared in a haunted house," Taehyung said, still holding Seokjin tightly as they continued down their path. "That's the whole point!"

"I'm blaming you for getting scared at something so dumb." Hoseok shook his head. "Like, what was even scary about that? Ooooo, no parents!"

"Okay then, Mr. Bravepants, how about you walk ahead of us and record the way for the others." Seokjin kicked him.

Hoseok dodged him and stuck out his tongue. "Fine, I will."

He pulled out his phone and aimed it down the dark path, not noticing the transparent apparition that flickered on his screen for a brief second.

-

Namjoon held Yoongi's hand in a relaxed way as they walked down the forest's path, sharing some popcorn they had bought from one of the food trucks.

"You know, I don't think food is allowed here." He said, taking a handful.

Yoongi shrugged, popping some into his mouth.

"Oh yeah, we gotta record this for the others to watch." Namjoon remembered. He was about to grab his phone but then he looked around, seeing nothing scary about this. "Actually...why waste battery?"

Yoongi hummed, swatting a hanging skeleton out of his way as they walked. "It's more peaceful than I was expecting."

"You want scary?" Namjoon scoffed at the silent forest around them. "I'll show you something scary!"

He stopped walking, cupping his hands around his mouth as he shouted, "MOST OF THE INCREASE IN GLOBAL TEMPERATURES SINCE 1950 HAVE BEEN CAUSED BY HUMAN ACTIVITY!"

Yoongi giggled, stuffing more popcorn into his mouth. "Tell em, baby."

"THERE ARE MORE DEAD BODIES IN THE OCEANS YOU SWIM IN THAN ARE BURIED IN THE GROUND! THERE'S NO ACTUAL PROOF THAT THE LIVYATAN OR MEGALODON IS EXTINCT! THERE ARE OVER 2,000 ACTIVE SERIAL KILLERS IN THE USA ALONE RIGHT NOW!" Namjoon shouted into the dark.

"KURU DISEASE IS TRANSFERRED THROUGH CANNIBALISM!" Yoongi joined him. "WE'RE ONLY AWARE OF THE SERIAL KILLERS WHO GOT CAUGHT!"

They giggled as they raced down the dimly lit path, ignoring the ominous music from hidden speakers and the fog that rolled over their shoes from the machines, making their own haunted forest.

-

"This is boring." Misun sighed, putting her knife away after pulling it on a guy who had tried to scare them, scaring him instead.

Yoonji agreed, heavily let down that she had actually paid money for this. She knew she was just going to steal from Taehyung to make up for it, but still.

She spied an open grave, and veered off the trail to peer into it.

"A real, rotting corpse?!" Misun asked hopefully, running up beside her.

Yoonji shook her head. "Unfortunately, it's empty."

Misun nudged her, a smirk at her lips. "Well, it's not fully unfortunate."

"What do you mean?" Yoonji looked at her.

"Ever fucked in an open grave?"

-

RM sighed as he walked through the asylum, people staring at him because Agust was wrapped around him, arms and legs, his head buried in the taller boys chest.

"Seriously?" He groaned, supporting the smaller boy with his strong arms. "You're such a baby."

Agust shook his head, not raising it. "Am not. I'm just...looking through your body to watch behind you. I got your back, little RMie."

There came a sudden loud banging noise and Agust screamed, trying to get under RM's shirt to hide.

-

Suga set Yoonie down on the hay covered ground, and the excited baby giggled as he crawled around the pumpkin patch, looking at all the pumpkins, some of which being bigger than him.

He followed along behind the pink kitten dressed baby, hands in his pockets. "Which one do you wanna get, baby?"

Yoonie looked around, then gasped loudly, his eyes lighting up as he pointed a little finger at it. "Dat one!"

Suga picked up the large, round pumpkin. "This one is bigger than you, Yoonie. We could fit you inside it."

Yoonie giggled, crawling over and patting his little palm against it. "Yeth- Yoonie wanna be pumpkin pie!"

Suga smiled fondly, picking him up in one arm, and the big pumpkin in the other. "But you're my little kitten."

Yoonie thought it over. "Can be both. Can be baby pumpkin strawberry kitten pie."

"Okay sweetheart, whatever you want."

He bought the pumpkin, and a mini one as well, so Yoonie could hold something.

He put the big pumpkin in the car as he carried Yoonie to the bonfire, sitting him on a nearby log to warm him up, rubbing his hands over the baby's pink fluffy onesie. "Want something to eat, darling?"

"Yoonie can have popsicle?" Yoonie gasped.

"I don't think they sell ice cream here, baby. It's too cold out."

Yoonie looked at the ground, downcast.

"But we can go to the store and buy some." Suga promised. "How about some hot chocolate in the meantime?"

"Cocoa!" Yoonie cheered, throwing his arms up into the air. He held up his mini pumpkin. "And what feed Pumpie?"

"He can have some too." Suga scooped the baby back up, heading to one of the food trucks to buy some hot cocoa.

-

Taehyung looked around nervously, flinching and screaming at every loud noise, every scream, every time a hand shot out and grabbed him.

Seokjin was right beside him, practically inside him as they shared a jacket, terrified.

Hoseok strode ahead of them, filming everything. "Fucking pussies." He teased the scared duo. "A couple of subs indeed."

"That has nothing to do with this." Seokjin argued, then shouted when someone in a bloodied costume jumped in front of him. "Fuck!"

Hoseok laughed loudly. "Maybe you two should have gone with Yoonie and Suga to the pumpkin patch."

"That's a good idea." Taehyung nodded. "Let's call Suga and have him kick everyone's asses."

"Or just hide in the pumpkin patch." Seokjin said.

"Good idea." Taehyung said, taking his hand.

"Oh come on." Hoseok rolled his eyes. "It's not even scary here!"

But the two were already racing off, and Hoseok sighed, following them.

"Buncha pussies."

-

Suga looked up as he heard running footsteps and saw 2/3rds of the new Team One Braincell racing over.

"Su!" Taehyung cried, arms outstretched. "Save me!"

"Save-?" The air was knocked out of the boys lungs as Taehyung crashed into him, sending them both toppling to the cold ground.

"Me too!" Seokjin jumped on top of them, and Suga groaned, at the bottom of the pile.

Yoonie giggled and crawled on top of them all, the king of the pile.

"Aw, did you win, baby?" Yoongi cooed as he and Namjoon came over.

Yoonie nodded, reaching his hands up for Yoongi to pick him up, and Namjoon pressed a series of kisses to the little one's squishy cheek.

He showed them his little pumpkin.

"Looks like we all finished around the same time," Yoonji said, her hair messy with a leaf in it.

Misun picked it out for her, her own jacket zipped up wrong.

Hoseok noticed and pointed. "What happened to you two?"

"Mind ya bizz." Misun warned, flashing her knife.

"Mommy!" A high pitched voice called, and everyone turned to see Jungkook and Jimin ushering a bunch of little kids over.

A group of adults raced to them.

"There you are! We told you to stay in the pumpkin patch! Where did you all go?! Thank you so much for bringing them back for us!"

Jungkook waved to them, making Jimin release the two kids he was holding, despite his pout.

"Can't we keep just one? Half of one??"

Jungkook dragged Jimin over. "Hey, how was your guys's themes?"

"Boring." Namjoon said, and Hoseok, Yoonji, Misun and Jimin agreed.

"Where's RM and Agust?" Yoongi looked around. "We can't leave without them."

"Can't we?" Yoonji begged.

"There they are!" Hoseok pointed and waved them over.

"Hey, did you guys have fun?" Seokjin asked them, helping Taehyung and Suga up from the ground.

Agust scoffed. "It was boring as hell! Not even slightly scary. Except for RMie here, he screamed like a little bitch baby the whole time."

RM raised an eyebrow, knowing he had a recording of the whole thing, and could easily prove it was the opposite.

But he stayed silent, letting the smaller boy have this moment.

"Is everyone ready to go home?" Suga asked, brushing the dirt off his shirt.

They all were, and headed back to the cars.

"Have to stop at the store!" Yoonie reminded them. "Get popsicles!"

"Of course angel," Suga kissed his fluffy hair.

"Did everyone record their journeys?" Jungkook remembered.

"We didn't, there was nothing to record." Namjoon said.

"Us either." Yoonji said, smirking at Misun.

"We had our hands full with the kids." Jimin explained.

"I do!" Hoseok held up his phone, playing the video for them.

"What's that?" RM pointed to a white spot that appeared in the video.

"Looks like a ghost." Misun said.

Hoseok froze. "A ghost?"

"Yeah, it disappears like magic. Look, now it was following you guys." Namjoon said.

Hoseok screamed, flinging his phone away.

-

As they headed back home, Agust and Hoseok curled up together in the backseat, hugging each other and shaking, while everyone else talked and laughed at how boring the haunted attraction was.

Yoonie giggled in his car seat, holding onto his little pumpkin.

"Yoonie love Hawwoween!"

-

Domestic Bliss
-------------------

Despite having twelve people all share a mansion, not every day was an adventure.

In fact, more often than not, nothing of interest went on.

Like today.

Yoongi sighed, wiping his hair off his forehead as he shoved yet another load of laundry in, his arms sore from how much he had been carrying up and down the stairs.

"Incoming!" Hoseok's voice called down from the chute, and another set of come stained sheets landed in the pile.

Yoongi eyed them and sighed again, wondering how much a full time laundry person would cost them.

-

Taehyung opened the fridge door and saw the milk carton, smiling and reaching for it.

However, it was empty when he grabbed it and he groaned.

He carried it to the living room, where Agust and Jungkook were playing video games, with Jimin watching them.

"Hey!" He called, shaking the empty container. "Who put this back in the fridge? There's no more milk in here, you should have thrown it away!"

"Sorry, old man." Agust huffed, concentrating on the screen as his character battled Jungkook's.

"At least I'm not a baby man child." Taehyung huffed, going to toss the empty carton.

He grabbed the shopping list and scribbled down milk.

-

Suga pushed the shopping cart while Yoonie babbled about this and that, sitting in the little seat, all buckled in while Suga shopped for groceries.

"Mhm," Suga said to Yoonie's story about a rainbow and a flower falling in love. "That's a good story, baby."

"And lived happily forever after!" Yoonie said, flying his doll around the air. "Yaya!"

After getting everything on his list, Suga checked out and paid, carrying the bags in one hand, while his other arm supported Yoonie.

He buckled the baby into his car seat and loaded the groceries to go home.

Yoonie fell asleep before they were even halfway there.

-

"Wait." Hoseok said randomly one day, while everyone was in the living room, spread out on the floor and furniture. "There's like twelve people here, and not one of us is straight? Like...what are the odds?"

"I-"

"Shut the fuck up." Everyone cut off Namjoon.

-

Seokjin groaned, leaning back in his chair. "Ugh, I hate homework. Why do I even need to do this? I have my own business! I should just quit school!"

"Even my class?" Yoongi asked, grabbing some coffee that Suga had made earlier.

"Every class but yours." Seokjin corrected himself. "Your class is the only one with rights."

Namjoon set down his thick textbook and looked at the other boys worksheet. "You almost got it right, you just forgot to add the six after carrying it over."

"Can you help me?" Seokjin begged, eyes big and watery. "I don't understand this!"

"You don't understand anything." Namjoon teased, but scooted his chair over anyways and started tutoring the pretty boy, and Yoongi smiled at the scene.

-

"It's been quiet lately." Yoonji said with a suspicious frown. "Too quiet."

"I tied Agust up a few hours ago." RM said, flicking through his book.

"Ah, that explains all the peace and relaxation everyone's been having." Yoonji nodded appreciatively. "Thank you."

-

Jungkook huffed, finally managing to pull the weed out from the ground, tossing it to the pile of green stalks that had invaded their little garden.

"Look!" Jimin squealed, watering the roses. "They bloomed so well!"

Yoongi smiled, digging the soil to plant some geraniums. "Thank you all for helping me with this."

"It's been fun!" Taehyung called, helping Suga plant some vegetables. "I love our garden."

Namjoon glanced up from his section of the garden, where he was measuring two different types of soils moisture absorbency. "Yeah, I'm glad we all found something we-"

"Cannonball!" Agust shouted, flying through the air and landing in the hole Hoseok, Yoonji and RM were digging.

"Bury him." Yoonji said, tossing some dirt onto the boy with her shovel.

Yoonie giggled, nomming on his little gardening hat in Seokjin's arms while the older boy fanned them both.

It was a nice day out, and after they finished with the garden they were going to cool off tomorrow with a new swimming pool that Hoseok, RM and Yoonji were setting up.

Namjoon had built a firepit last week, and Seokjin carried Yoonie inside to grab supplies for s'mores to roast over their new backyard accessory.

He gave the baby a marshmallow, something that was as squishy as Yoonie's cheeks, and the two giggled as the sun started to set.

It felt good to live this life.

-

Just Agust Things - Part 2

--------------------------------

Namjoon was scanning the items they had purchased from the grocery store, and he was going far too slow for Agust's liking.

The smaller boy sighed, looking around the self checkout area in boredom.

A woman was behind them, busy scanning her own items while a baby sat in the cart, staring at Agust with big eyes.

Agust made a disgusted face at it, and the baby continued to stare.

"What do you want?" Agust asked it, and the baby didn't reply, just raised its lollipop to its mouth and drooled over it.

Agust looked him up and down, thinking that lollipop looked really good, despite the baby dripping on it.

Namjoon finally bagged the last item, but before he could grab his receipt, a weight suddenly bowled him over.

"Ah- what-"

"Come on, sub." Agust yanked Namjoon along. "Hurry up!"

Namjoon heard a baby crying, wailing and throwing a tantrum and he glanced over his shoulder in confusion. "Why is-"

"No time to explain!" Agust said, popping a lollipop into his mouth as he shoved Namjoon outside and raced to their car.

-

Taesu - Part 1 (Soft)
--------------------------------

"Taehyung, that's too many bubbles!" Suga laughed inside the tub as the younger boy dumped in the bubble bath.

"Is it?" Taehyung set the canister aside and saw how many bubbles had formed already. "Oops. We'll have to buy Yoonie some new bubble bath after this."

He climbed inside the warm water, facing Suga in the bath.

They were still getting to know each other on a deeper level, so even though they were in water, Suga still had his boxers on.

Not wanting to make him feel weird or bad, Taehyung kept his own boxers on as well.

Suga had his knees drawn up to his chest as he smiled, letting his fingers roam over the mountains of bubbles, popping them. "This is nice."

"Yeah, you need to have some more time for yourself." Taehyung said.

"I'm okay." Suga said. "And it makes me happy to look after everyone."

"Still. We all need you, so don't overwork yourself." Taehyung instructed, like he had any authority.

Suga smiled at Taehyung acting like a parent, grabbing his toes under the water. "Okay."

A faint blush coated his cheeks.

-

"How's your coffee?" Taehyung asked, sitting down as he blew on his hot cocoa.

"Good." Suga nodded. "This place is really good, thanks for taking me here."

"You're welcome." Taehyung leaned back in his chair, acting cool. "I know the owner, so- ah!"

He gasped, shooting up and frantically swiping at his shirt, where he had accidentally spilled his drink.

"Fuck! That's hot!"

Suga couldn't help but laugh softly. He grabbed some napkins and helped the boy get clean. "Here, Tae."

Taehyung blushed at the nickname.

-

The Mirror
--------------

"Can we take a break?" Agust flopped onto the forest floor, exhausted from hiking. "We've been walking for ages!"

"It's been three minutes." Namjoon informed him. "You can still see the house from here."

Yoonie giggled from Suga's arms, all dressed up in cute little hiking clothes, despite the way he was being carried the whole way.

"Have any of you ever heard the legend about these woods?" Suga asked, settling Yoonie against his hip.

"Is it haunted?" Agust suddenly was on his feet, his energy magically restored at the prospect of having to outrun a ghost.

"They said there's a mirror hidden in here," Suga said. "And if you look into it, your reflection shows who you truly are inside."

"A cool, kick ass bad boy." Agust nodded. "Yeah, we already been knew."

Namjoon rolled his eyes and shoved the annoying boy. "Come on, let's finish our hike."

-

An hour later they stopped to rest again, sitting on some large rocks as they took out their snacks and water bottles.

"Yoonie has to go potty!" Yoonie called out.

"Okay baby, let's go." Suga held his hand as and walked slow as Yoonie toddled along beside him.

It was quiet for a few moments as the two boys caught their breath and ate some snacks, until Yoonie suddenly shrieked.

"Bears." Agust quickly ran away, but Namjoon shot a hand out and yanked him back.

"Su?" Namjoon called, holding onto a struggling Agust's collar. "Are you guys alright?"

"We're okay!" Suga called back. "Come here!"

Namjoon dragged a protesting Agust along, peering around some bushes to see Suga and Yoonie standing in front of a small, glittery pond.

"What's this?" He asked, letting go of Agust and walking over.

"Not a bear, right?" Agust looked around. "Not that I'm scared of them, cuz I'm not."

"Is mirror!" Yoonie clapped his hands excitedly. "Lookit!"

Namjoon stepped up and looked into the mystical water.

The waves stilled and his reflection froze, before morphing.

It wasn't a picture, like he had expected, but rather, one word.

Sub.

Namjoon scowled, stomping away. "Shit's broken."

"Let me see!" Agust scrambled over and looked into the water as well.

A good man.

Agust gasped, choking up at the unexpected reflection.

He hastily scrubbed his eyes as he too scurried away. "Fuckin' nice."

"Should we look too, baby?" Suga asked, picking up the little chubby boy.

Yoonie giggled, peering into the pond.

For the two of them, the waves rippled and changed to an image.

It was them, standing the same way they were, with Yoonie in Suga's arms.

But Suga had magnificent, white angel wings flowing from his back, and a glowing halo above his head. And Yoonie had tiny black devil horns on his head, a little pointed tail curling from behind his hiking shorts.

The two boys looked at each other and Suga smiled, booping Yoonie's nose.

"Our little secret." He cooed, and Yoonie giggled into his hands mischievously.

"Yeth."

-

Just Agust Things, Part 3

-------------------------------

(warning: this one shot involves suicide)

Agust walked along the road, hands in his jacket pockets as he listened to the loud music coming from his headphones.

The house had been a little too chaotic and messy for his liking, so he stepped out to have some peace, walking alone down an unfamiliar road.

The road turned into a bridge, getting stepper and steeper with every step as it arched upwards. Cement guard rails rose up, coming about waist high as a safety measure, and there was a tall black fence as well, and Agust stopped short when he saw someone desperately climbing it.

Realization struck, and he broke into a sprint, yanking out his headphones as the wind blew his hair back.

"Hey! Stop!" He shouted, racing up the steep hill to where they were halfway up the tall fence. "Stop!"

Getting closer, he saw it was a young female. Far too young, she looked like she was only fifteen.

He could hear how hard she was crying from where he was.

She looked over her shoulder at him, and frantically started climbing faster.

"Stop! Hey!" He leaped over the cement rail and grabbed the fence, climbing up a little and reaching one hand up desperately, wrapping his fingers around her ankle tightly, as tight as he could. "Stop! Please!"

"Let go!" She cried, kicking her leg. "Let me go!"

"Why are you doing this?" Agust strained to try and pull her back down. "Come on, talk to me first!"

"There's nothing!" She sobbed, tears running down her cheeks. "There's no point!"

He held on despite her struggling, his other hand digging painfully into the fence to keep himself up. "Yes there is, there's a lot! Come on, let's just sit down and talk, okay?"

"No! Let me go! Let me do this!"

"No!" He growled, tugging her back. "I won't let you."

She was crying too hard to speak and Agust softened up. "Come on, don't you want people to know why you want to do this? I'm here, I'm listening, I want to know."

She sniffed a few times and didn't speak, but she didn't start moving again so Agust took his chance.

"My name's Agust." He said gently. "What's yours?"

She scrubbed her face with her arm, and peeked down at him. "Like...the month?"

"Yeah, like the month." He laughed. "My friends call me September and such because of it. What about you?"

She swallowed hard and sniffed again. "I-Ingan."

"That's pretty." He gave her a genuine smile.

"Thank you." Her voice was barely above a whisper.

The wind blew, reminding them of how far up they were. It was cold, but Agust still held on.

"How about we climb back down?" He suggested. "It'll be easier to talk on solid ground. And I'm not a great swimmer."

She tensed, clinging to the fence.

"Okay, okay, we won't, we can stay right here." Agust quickly backtracked. "We can stay here as long as you want to."

She looked down at the churning water below, shaking as she held onto the fence, so close to the very top.

Agust knew it too and he was so on edge, but he held onto her ankle still, fighting the cold winds that billowed into them.

"How old are you, Ingan?" He asked.

"F-fourteen."

Agust sucked in a breath.

Too young...way too young.

"So, what grade is that?" He asked. "End of middle school?"

"Ninth grade, freshman." She said.

"Ah, that's a big change from your old school." He sympathized with her.

"I hate it!" She cried. "My teachers hate me and the classes are too hard and none of my old friends transferred with me so I'm alone and everyone stares when I sit by myself at lunch!" She broke into new tears.

"School sucks." He agreed. "You're not the only one who feels this way. What kind of classes do you like? There's gotta be at least one."

She shook her head.

"Aw, come on. Everyone's good at something." He insisted.

She hesitated. "Well...I like...to read."

"Reading!" Agust beamed. "That's great! Don't you want to write a book? What are you doing up here when you could be the next J.K. Rowling?"

"I'll never be that good." She shook her head.

"Not if you're up here you won't." He agreed. "And especially not with that attitude. Come on, have you even given it an honest shot yet?"

"Well...I," she seemed to think about it.

"And I don't believe you're the only person who sits alone in school." Agust continued. "I think there's other people who need a friend too. What if you went and sat by one of them one day? I think they would really appreciate it. Wouldn't you?"

"I...would." She admitted.

Agust let go of her ankle and reached his hand up to her. "Come on, Miss Ingan. This is not your place. You deserve an honest shot at life, a chance to pursue your dreams and an opportunity to become someone's hero. Don't take that all away from yourself. Please, come down. For me?"

She hesitated, before slowly reaching her hand down.

Their fingertips brushed and Agust felt a surge of hope.

"There, beautiful, just like that. Just a little bit-"

The sound of racing footsteps and Ingan gasped, fearfully looking over Agust's shoulder at the group of people racing over to them.

With a cry, she turned around and quickly scaled the fence, swinging a leg over the ledge.

"No!" Agust gasped, climbing up after her.

She jumped just as he leaned over the edge, the wind buffeting them both fiercely over the rapid waves.

He grabbed her hand as she fell, nearly tumbling over himself from the sudden weight.

She screamed, suddenly regretting her decision and she clung to Agust for her life.

"No! I'm sorry- I change my mind! I don't want to do this- I want my mom!" She cried, kicking her feet in the air. "Mom!"

"I got you, it's okay," Agust called, struggling to keep his grip on her. The fence dug into his hipbones painfully, his back aching and his arms straining to hold her.

He knew he couldn't do this forever, and he had to continually readjust his grip, as both their hands were sweaty and she kept slipping.

"Don't let me go!" She begged, tears running down her face. "Please Agust!"

"I won't." He promised her, but he wondered how long he could do this for. She was slipping again and he couldn't readjust his grip-

Hands grabbed him, wrapping their fingers around his belt and yanking him back.

"Agust!" Suga shouted, struggling to pull both of them back over the ledge.

The rest of the footsteps caught up, and more hands grabbed him, slowly pulling her back up.

It was a mess of shouts and hands, but then Agust fell backwards, into the arms of his family.

Ingan fell too, and Namjoon caught her.

"What were you doing? What's going on? Did you call the police?" Everyone was confused and panicking.

Agust pushed them aside, jumping to his feet as his eyes darted around, finally seeing Ingan. He pushed them out of his way to race over to her, nearly bowling her over in a tight hug.

"Agust!" She cried. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"

"It's okay, it's okay." He said, carrying her away from the bridge.

He didn't stop until the water was completely out of sight, and sat down on the grass, not caring about the dirt getting on his jeans.

The group followed them.

"The police are on their way." Yoongi said. "They'll take her home."

"How did you find her?" Taehyung asked him with a gasp.

"Are you both okay?" Seokjin worried.

Agust sighed in relief. "We're okay. Right, Miss Ingan?"

She smiled, scrubbing her eyes. "Right, September. I'm going to call you June, because that's my birth month, okay?"

He smiled. "Okay."

The police arrived and after explaining everything, they took Ingan home.

Agust waved until the cop car was out of sight, and then a little longer.

Suga came up to stand beside him, watching the sun start to set over the bridge.

He looked over at his brother and smiled, wrapping an arm around Agust's shoulders, steering him back to where the group was waiting for him.

"Come on, D. Let's go home."

-

Self Care, Bitch
-------------------

"What the hell are you doing?" RM stopped and stared at the boys in the living room.

"Mud masks." Seokjin said, relaxing in the chair with a green face and cucumber slices over his eyes.

"You look ridiculous." RM shook his head.

"It's self care, bitch." Agust said, looking up from where he was painting his nails black.

"It's creepy." RM shuddered and turned away.

"Forget him." Hoseok said, changing the bubble color of his foot bath. "He doesn't understand self care day."

"Pity." Taehyung said, picking a cucumber slice off his eye and popping it into his mouth.

"What the hell are you doing?" Yoonji asked, holding Yoonie.

"Self care, bitch!" Agust called.

"You look ridiculous." She set the baby down. "Anyways, Misun and I are going to a monster truck derby so it's your turn to watch Yoonie."

Yoonie's eyes widened and he looked to Yoonji in alarm. "What? No! Yoonie want go with Miss Yoonjie and MiMi!"

"Sorry baby." Yoonji bent down and patted his head. "You're too little for monster trucks. But I'll take you out for your first drink."

"But it's self care day!" Agust argued. "Can't anyone else watch him?"

"Nope." She pulled on her jacket. "We've all collectively decided to fuck you over, so watch him. And God forbid you don't treat him like the angel he is, because me, Suga and RM will all go ham on your ass."

She blew a kiss to Yoonie. "Bye bye baby, have fun with Calendar and Co!"

Yoonie waved goodbye, pouting.

"Wanna do a mud mask, Yumpie?" Seokjin called.

"Műđ måşķə?" Yoonie cocked his head.

"Here." Hoseok drew his finger across Seokjin's cheek, gathering some of the green mask onto his finger. He booped Yoonie's nose, leaving a dollop of the stuff on the baby's little nose.

Yoonie went cross eyed trying to see it.

"Here, demon." Agust handed him some sliced cucumber.

Yoonie opened his mouth wide and nommed on it. "What is?"

"It's the food group you never eat." Agust said.

Taehyung snorted from under his own mask. "I've never seen you eat a vegetable before, February."

"Not true, I saw him take an eggplant up to his and RM's room once." Seokjin said.

Hoseok looked at him, waiting for him to get it.

Seokjin gasped and sat upright, the cucumber slices falling to his lap. "Son of a bitch!"

Hoseok chuckled as Seokjin whipped a pillow at Agust. "I bought that to cook with it, you asshole!"

Agust quickly crawled to hide behind Yoonie as Seokjin threw pillows at him. "I washed it!"

"Excuse me." Taehyung got up. "I gotta vomit real quick."

"I'm throwing that out." Seokjin raced to the kitchen while Agust snickered.

Hoseok picked up Yoonie and held the baby over the bubbling foot bath, dipping Yoonie's toes into the warm water.

"Tickles!" Yoonie shrieked with giggles, splashing his feet in the bath.

He noticed Agust's black nails and pointed. "Ooo! Yoonie want too! Pink!"

"No, you stuff your fingers in your mouth and Suga will kick my ass for letting you poison yourself." Agust stuck out his tongue.

"Hey, let him poison himself if he wants too." Hoseok said. "It's a free country!"

"Yah!" Yoonie nodded. "Fee cun'tree!'

Seokjin came back and swiped Yoonie away from Hoseok. "Your skin is already pure and baby fresh. You don't need a mask."

"Literally what in the God damn fuck does 'baby fresh' mean?" Agust was bewildered.

Taehyung came back and stole Yoonie from Seokjin. "Here, sweet baby. You can have some cucumber." He fed him another piece and Yoonie licked it excitedly.

Namjoon came down the stairs. "What the hell are you doing?"

"Self care, bitch!" Agust, Taehyung, Hoseok and Seokjin replied.

"You look ridiculous." Namjoon walked over to kiss Yoonie's chubby cheek.

"Uncultured." Taehyung muttered.

"Blokt irl." Hoseok agreed.

Namjoon rolled his eyes and walked away.

"Here." Agust laid a towel down and set Yoonie on his back on it. He smeared a little mud mask on the baby's cheeks and nose, giving him some cucumber slices for his eyes. "Now lay there and- hey bitch don't try to lick the cucumber, stop it!- and we'll wash this off in twenty minutes- hey I said stop!"

"How can you call a six year old a bitch?" Seokjin snorted.

"Cuz he is." Agust muttered as Yoonie ignored him and tried to reach the cucumber with his little tongue. "He's literally a demon, why does no one else see that?"

Yoongi came into the room. "Has anyone seen my sub- what are you doing?"

"Self care, bitch!" Everyone retorted and Yoongi raised his eyebrows at Yoonie.

"Did you just teach the baby to swear?" Yoongi asked.

"No. Oh, you mean the demon? Maybe." Agust shrugged.

Yoongi sighed, picking up Yoonie. "Self care day is over. Agust, I'm telling Suga to kick your ass."

-

Busted!

-------------

"I can't fucking believe you!" Yoongi shouted, jumping up from the couch. "After all we've been through, after everything- and you just fucking do this to me?!"

"Baby, it was a mistake." Namjoon pleaded with him, but Yoongi pushed him away. "I'm sorry, it won't happen again!"

"Bullshit! You're a bullshit liar, Min Namjoon!"

"What's going on?" Suga's eyes were wide as he stepped into the living room. "You're going to wake up Yoonie from his nap!"

"Ask the cheater." Yoongi crossed his arms and looked away.

Agust burst into the room. "Fight, fight, fight!" He chanted eagerly.

"Baby please, I'm sorry." Namjoon begged.

"I can't believe I ever trusted you." Yoongi shook his head.

"We can still watch season two together, I don't mind rewatching." Namjoon said.

Agust's grin dropped. "Wait, what?"

Suga blinked. "Is this...did you really...all because of a TV show?"

"It's not just a TV show!" Yoongi snapped. "We were supposed to watch it together and he watched a full season without me! A full season! Not just one episode! All ten of them!"

"Baby I had to know what happened next!" Namjoon said. "That bomb went off and left us on a cliffhanger!"

"You know what's on a cliffhanger now? Our marriage!" Yoongi shouted. He took off his wedding ring and slapped it against Namjoon's chest, admiring the tiddies real quick. "Here, put this on the TV antenna, since you clearly love it more!"

Agust glared at them and stomped back to his room.

Suga shook his head. "You both need therapy."

"We can get marriage counseling." Namjoon agreed. "It doesn't have to be the end, baby!"

"It is the end." Yoongi pouted, crossing his arms.

Suga shook his head and walked away.

"Come on, I'll make us some snacks and we can cuddle." Namjoon cooed, hugging Yoongi from behind. "I can answer any questions you have and we can pause and rewind as many times as you want."

Yoongi smirked as Namjoon nuzzled his face against his neck. "Hmm. Okay."

"Perfect! I'll put the show on and-"

"On one condition."

Namjoon paused. "Oh no."

"You know what I want." Yoongi grinned.

Namjoon hesitated. "It's only ten episodes, you can catch up when I'm in class."

"Do you want me to take the ring back or not?" Yoongi raised an eyebrow.

Namjoon sighed, handing the ring over. "Alright, fine. Just...please don't be mean."

Yoongi just laughed.

-

Yoongi shoved a handful of popcorn into his mouth, eyes wide with rapt attention as he watched the episode play. "Holy fuck! Did you see that! Shit- wow!"

Namjoon couldn't answer because of the gag in his mouth, and he wasn't paying attention to the TV anyways. How could he, when he was naked and on all fours on the floor in front of the couch, with Yoongi's legs resting on his back, and a vibrator lodged in his ass?

Yoongi glanced down, teasing his husband with the remote that controlled the vibrator. "Remember how each episode is over an hour long, baby? We're only fifteen minutes into episode two! We still have a ways before we get to season three!"

Namjoon moaned around the gag, trying to come but unable to because of the cockring around his base.

"Do you regret watching without me?" Yoongi demanded, kicking the boys ass a little.

"Mhm! Mff!" Namjoon cried, dropping his head to the floor as his orgasm cut off- again.

Yoongi didn't let up with teasing him with the vibrator. "You better. This was supposed to be our show, you binge slut!"

Namjoon sighed, knowing this had always been a possibility from the moment he had clicked 'next episode' without Yoongi.

"Now keep quiet, or else I'll have to turn the subtitles on." Yoonig settled back against the comfy couch and pressed play again.

Only about 525 minutes left to go.

(seriously tho go watch Busted! on Netflix, or illegally download it. It's the best show you'll ever watch, BET)

------------------------------------------------------------------

Yeah I'm obviously Agust biased, what r u gunna do about it bitch?