Warning:
'Just mentions of when Agust r@ped nyumjewn
'fighting/violence
'angst
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Agust reached a hand out and RM flinched back, the sight of which made the older alters heart break.
He brought RM into this world in such a horrific way, when he had terrified the poor student, threatened him with a knife, tied him to the bed and raped him, all the while with Yoongi's face and body. And of course, with Yoongi being the man Namjoon loved more than love itself, Agust couldn't even begin to imagine the damage he had truly done to the boy, both internal and external.
It was then Agust was struck with the sickening realization that he was just like the man he hated most in the world.
RM hadn't asked to be made, or to be the hateful, angry one. Just like Agust.
What Byungwoo had done to Agust, Agust had done to RM.
"Oh..." Agust fell to his knees, his mind filled with guilt, horror and sick shame.
RM hovered a few feet away, watching the older alter with a blank expression, his arms wrapped around himself protectively.
Agust hung his head, his hands pressed over his face as tears leaked through his fingers.
He had hurt RM far more than he had hurt Jimin.
And RM had kept it all hidden; shoved down and guarded by a silent, expressionless face, as if he felt he had to bear his burdens on his own.
Agust always called RM his baby, and felt responsible for the baby alter, and yet this was how he had treated him?
He raised his head, tears running down his cheeks. "Baby...RM...I...I'm so fucking sorry."
RM just stared silently at him and Agust understood then that words weren't going to change anything. RM was an 'actions speak louder than words' guy, Agust knew.
If he wanted to fix this, he had to actually do something.
He scrambled to his feet. "Please, baby, let me help you. Let me save you! I need to fix this, I- I need to fix you! Us! Everything! I want to change and that has to start with you, my first and worst mistake. Let me in, please...I want to make things right. You deserve to have things be right. Please..."
RM said nothing, but he didn't back away when Agust walked closer.
"Please," Agust begged, his shaking hand outstretched. "Please...baby..."
RM let Agust get close enough, then suddenly grabbed the alters hand, turning around and yanking Agust up against his back. He doubled over and threw the alter over his shoulder, and Agust gasped when the air left his lungs as his back hit the floor painfully.
RM was quick to slam his foot down on top of Agust's chest, and Agust coughed, his hands shooting up to try and push the boy off him.
The younger alter leaned forward, pressing his weight down more on Agust, a cold glare on his face.
"How could you?" RM hissed, and Agust's heart fractured more when he saw tears gathering in the alters eyes. "You know better than anyone else how it feels to have someone hold you down and hurt you in ways you can't recover from. And yet, you still went and did the same thing to me! I never did anything to you! And you just-"
He cut himself off, angrily scrubbing his arm across his eyes.
Agust swallowed hard, turning his head away as his own tears spilled down from his closed eyes.
He knew changing was going to be a long and difficult process, but he never expected it to hurt this much.
He had always seen himself as the victim, deep down. And even though he had called himself the bad guy before and acted like he enjoyed the title, he never once did.
So to see himself painted in a mirror by RM where he wasn't the victim, but the ugly monster bad guy that he always blamed someone else of being...made Agust feel sick.
"You're right." Agust whispered, opening his eyes. "I became the very thing I hated most in the world, and all the while I was being the bad guy I was still seeing myself as the victim. But I stopped being the victim the second I turned into a hypocritical monster."
RM sniffed and glared, stomping his foot down on Agust's chest, making the alter wince. "You're damn right you're a monster! What the hell did I ever do to you? What did I do to deserve what you did to me? What did Yoongi do to deserve what Byungwoo did to him? Not! A! Fucking! Thing!"
He accented each word with a forceful kick and Agust let it happen, crying out in the pain that he deserved.
"It's like you didn't care at all about stopping the cycle! You wanted to continue it! You wanted to hurt me!" RM shouted, the tears running freely down his face now. "Did you ever think there was a reason Yoongi took those pills? That maybe- just maybe- he wasn't the terrible bad guy you always viewed him as?"
Agust rolled onto his side, curling into a ball as he wrapped his arms around his sides. The movement caused aching pain, but Agust needed it to hurt more. He needed it to hurt more than how he had hurt him.
With an exhausted sigh, the baby alter finally stopped, backing up against the wall and sinking down it until he hit the floor. He raised his knees to his chest and buried his face in them, his arms crossed to hide himself as he sobbed.
Agust winced as he pushed himself to his hands and knees, glancing over and seeing RM hiding.
With a groan, he got to his feet and slowly walked over, crouching down in front of the crying boy.
"Baby..." He reached out and hesitated, before placing his hand down softly over the boys hair. "Please, can I make it up to you?"
RM raised his head and glared, throwing off Agust's hand. "Who said you deserved a second chance?"
"No one," Agust admitted. "But...I want one."
"You lost your first chance because you went too far in taking things you wanted!" RM hissed. "Maybe you should have thought about how rare second chances are before you fucked everything up!"
"So you just want to stay pissed off and hate me forever then?" Agust snapped, anger spiking.
"Maybe!" RM pushed Agust away.
Agust growled, lunging forward and knocking the younger boy against the wall, his fingers digging into RM's shoulders.
"That's stupid," Agust glared. "That's no way to live."
"It's my life!" RM kicked out at him and Agust shoved him to his side, quickly straddling the boy. "Get the fuck off me!"
"It's not just your life!" Agust argued, fighting to pin the alters arms down. "It's Namjoon's too! And he wants to forgive me!"
"Then he's a bigger idiot than you." RM hissed, abruptly heaving the alter off of him.
Agust stumbled, falling onto his back and RM jumped on top of him.
"RM-"
RM crashed their lips together.
At first Agust was too shocked to do anything, and then his hands shot up and grabbed the younger boys shirt, yanking him closer and he opened his mouth to deepen the kiss.
They fought for dominance, growling into the kiss and panting.
Agust rolled them over, now pinning the younger boy down, never breaking the kiss.
RM's hands tugged on the alters black hair, his hips snapping up to grind against Agust's and the alter moaned, meeting him halfway.
Feeling hot and heavy, RM finally pulled back to breathe. His head hit the carpet, his hips still raised and circling Agust's as his hands clutched the boys shirt in both fists, keeping the older alter close- as if Agust even wanted to leave.
Agust leaned down and pressed his lips to the boys neck, smelling Namjoon. He opened his mouth and let his tongue roam over the spot that he knew RM would be sensitive to.
RM gasped, tingles shooting through his body and he clutched Agust tighter to him.
Agust bared his lips and let his sharp teeth nick the boys cinnamon skin, biting him.
RM moaned, tilting his head to the side to give the alter more room. "Fuck...fuck..."
Agust bit down harder, before sucking on the spot to make it red.
He finally pulled back once he had finished, running his tongue along his lips and smirking at his work. "There, baby. Now everyone knows who you belong to."
RM growled, before abruptly flipping them over.
Before Agust's head even hit the ground, RM was attacking his collar, leaving his own mark on the older alter.
Agust was fed up with RM wearing clothes and he hooked his nimble fingers around the boys sweatpants, yanking them down over the boys ass and leaving them hanging around the alters thighs.
RM sat up, panting and cheeks flushed as he continued to rut his covered cock against Agust's. "You're...so fucking...terrible."
Agust chuckled, reaching down and rubbing the boy through his boxers. "At everything but sex, baby."
RM elbowed him across the face and Agust hissed in pain, cupping his bleeding nose.
With a laugh, RM grabbed Agust's shirt and ripped it apart, tearing it off the alter and exposing his chest.
Agust's hand shot up and grabbed the boys neck, squeezing it as he sat up, forcing RM off him as they both struggled to their feet.
RM's hands flew to his neck, trying to pry Agust off as he was backed against the wall again, stepping out of his sweatpants.
Agust slammed him against the wall, before leaning back in and kissing him.
RM let one hand slip down between them, grabbing Agust's cock. He could feel the alter was getting hard already and he smirked into the heated kiss, reaching both hands around to grab the alters ass harshly and yank them closer together.
Agust kicked RM's legs apart, leaning his thigh against the alters front, pressing in as his free hand gripped the boys hip hard enough to leave marks.
RM tilted his head back, eyes fluttering as Agust's hold on his neck relaxed and tightened.
Finally, Agust broke the kiss with a sharp gasp, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. He grabbed RM's shirt and lifted it up, pulling it harshly off the boy.
As soon as the collar was pulled off of him, RM kicked out, catching the alter's abs and sending him crashing against the end of the bed.
Agust grunted as the air was knocked out of him, pain spiking as his head hit the dark headboard.
"Careful, baby." Agust gripped the board behind him and pushed himself back up. "You're pissing daddy off."
RM made a face. "Gross."
He ran at the alter, fists ready to beat Agust with all his anger, but the older alter grabbed him and used the boys momentum to turn them around, falling on top of RM on the bed.
RM fought him, his fingers curled and straining to scratch the alters eyes out, and Agust's arms shook as he kept the boy against the mattress.
"Stop fighting me!" He growled, feeling sweat run down his skin. "I want to fucking help you!"
"I don't want or need your stupid help!" RM spat. "I want to kill you!"
Agust grinned. "Well then, sorry to say baby but you'll have to get in line for that."
RM scowled. "Baby goes first."
He shoved Agust off of him, sending him tumbling halfway off the bed.
Agust caught himself with his hands out before he could crash to the floor, groaning as he pushed himself up, his legs still on the bed.
RM grabbed the alters black pants and yanked them off, throwing them somewhere over his shoulder as he eyed Agust's ass.
Agust looked over his shoulder and smirked at the boy staring. He shook his hips for the younger alter teasingly. "Never seen anything so perfect before, huh?"
RM rolled his eyes and slapped the alters ass so hard that Agust yelped and tumbled fully off the bed.
The younger boy leaped off the bed and ran to the dresser, yanking one of the drawers full of clothes out and whipping the heavy thing at Agust.
The alter's eyebrows shot up as he saw RM throwing the drawer at him, clothes flying out, and he quickly threw himself out of the way just in time.
"You're gunna wake everyone up, baby." Agust said, pushing himself to his feet. His hand grabbed himself through his boxers and he groaned, tossing his head back in pleasure.
"I don't care," RM's own cock twitched at the sight and he licked his lips. "I hate you."
Agust chuckled, forcing himself to stop so he could focus. "Cute."
Scowling, RM ran at him again. But instead of with fists flying, he pressed their bodies together, his hands cupping Agust's face as he kissed him deeply.
Agust wrapped his arms around the younger boy, letting RM push him backwards.
Then RM stopped and pulled back. He looked up and down and nodded to himself.
Before Agust could ask- the boy suddenly bowled into him, knocking Agust against the bedroom door, breaking it open and they spilled into the dark hallway.
Yelping at the pain in his back, Agust pressed his forehead into the floor, on his hands and knees as he fought the pain.
"That's for being a fucking hypocrite!" RM hissed, walking out of the messed up bedroom, stepping over the destroyed door.
Groaning, Agust held up a shaky hand, giving a thumbs up to the alter.
With a glare, RM ran up and kicked out, catching the alters arm with a professional kick.
"Fuck!" Agust yelled, flipping onto his back, cradling his bruised arm. "You're making it real hard for me to want to take care of you!"
RM picked up a piece of broken door in each hand. "I don't want you to take care of me, I want you dead!"
Agust opened his eyes and cooed. "Now that just hurts my feelings."
RM threw the pieces at him and Agust barely dodged them in time, his head spinning as he jumped to his feet.
RM ran at him, and Agust kicked his foot out, tripping the younger alter.
RM caught himself on the railing with a gasp, looking down at the dizzying drop to the living room floor below.
Agust pressed himself against the boy, trapping him against the railing. He grabbed the boys hair and bent the alter down over the edge of the railing, lifting the boys toes an inch off the ground. "Go easy, alright? Yoongi's got a busted rib and I don't need that getting injured again. The bunny'll kill me."
RM hissed and tried to kick out at him, his fists gripping the railing tight so he wouldn't fall over.
Agust shook his head. "Bad boy, RMie. Very bad boy. Breaking the humans shit and thinking you can top daddy. You need a punishment so you can learn, baby."
With one hand in the boys hair, Agust used his other hand to slam his palm against the boys exposed ass with all the force he could.
RM gasped, his head shooting up and his mouth open wide from the force of the slap. "Ah!"
"You killing me won't make you a better alter," Agust hissed, raising his hand and slapping the boys ass again, eliciting another cry from the pinned boy. "I get you're angry and you have every right to be, but fucking listen to me! I want to help you now!"
"Fuck you!" RM shouted, struggling. "Piece of shit caitiff! Fucking contrite mo-"
Agust slapped him again and the boys sentence was cut off in another sharp exclamation.
"Let me show you I'm not the same person I was before!" Agust growled.
"You're still hurting me!" RM shouted, kicking at him.
Agust yanked him back over the railing and dropped him to the hallway.
RM hissed, glaring up at him as he rubbed his ass.
"You're not letting me not hurt you!" Agust leaned down, into the boys face.
RM headbutted the alter and Agust shouted, stumbling back into the bedroom.
Before he could follow the alter in there, a door opened and Jimin peeked out of Jungkook's room.
"JoonJoon? What's going o-"
"Get back inside." RM raised his finger to point.
"-yessir." Jimin turned around and clicked the door shut.
RM faced the bedroom and stormed inside, and was ambushed by a fist flying into his cheek, knocking him to the ground.
Agust stood over him, shaking the pain off his hand. "Why am I so undeserving of a second chance? I've acknowledged the pain I caused you, apologized and tried to show you that I mean it when I say I want to change!"
RM held his cheek, glowering at him. "You really have to ask?"
"All I did, recently, was kill a man and burn a house down." Agust counted on his fingers, then held up the two digits. "That's only this many things!"
"You don't get it!" RM jumped to his feet, tears in his eyes. "You can decide to change as many times as you want! You can tell people what they want to hear and even do what they want you to do to prove yourself. That doesn't matter! If the person you hurt says you can't fix them, that you can't get their forgiveness, then you don't! You don't get to suddenly turn around and act like your past actions don't have lasting scars! It's up to me to decide when and if you're ever worthy of a second chance! You can't force your change on someone!" He shouted, and Agust was silent.
"Do you really think you'll never forgive me?" He asked quietly.
RM sighed, sinking to his knees in front of the alter. "I'm done talking to you." He grabbed the boys boxers and yanked them down.
"RM-" Agust groaned, his hand gripping the boys hair as the younger alter licked up his hard cock.
RM ignored him, taking the alter fully into his mouth. Like he said, he was done talking.
Agust guided the boys mouth onto his cock, tossing his head back with a moan as he ran his hands through RM's hair.
"I...made you," he huffed as RM ran his tongue along his cock. "I'm...responsible for you. I want to- fuck!- take care of you, ah, and prove I can make your life- shit, right there- a good one, even if the start of it wasn't good- oh, fuck!"
RM gripped Agust's thighs as he took the alter deeper into his mouth, his muscles relaxing on instinct for the familiar cock.
"Can you...at least give me a chance- ah- to try to prove to you that I mean it?" Agust looked down at the alter, his heart clenching at the sight of the boys messy hair, closed eyes, and tear stained cheeks that were puffed out with his cock.
Fuck, he wanted to protect and care for this boy.
RM didn't acknowledge he heard Agust's words, continuing his licking and dragging his thick lips over the large cock.
The younger alter felt Agust stiffen, and judging by the way his breathing was stuttering, he was about to come.
Agust groaned, forcing RM deeper onto him, until the boys cute button nose was pressed against his waistline.
"Fuck!" He came with a cry, shooting everything down RM's throat.
RM pushed him away, swallowing and sucking in air, coughing as he rubbed his mouth clean of come.
He got to his feet tiredly, but it wasn't over yet.
He grabbed a dazey, post orgasmed Agust and shoved him onto the bed, before walking to the dresser and pulling out rope and lube.
Straddling the older alter, he grabbed his wrists together and wound the rope around them, tying the knot tightly.
The scratchy rope digging into his skin snapped Agust's attention back into focus and he blinked, seeing RM flick the cap for the lube open.
"If we're going to do this, I'm going to take care of you." The older alter said seriously.
RM scoffed, tossing the bottle aside after squirting some onto his palm. "No. I'm going to hurt you."
Agust grinned, settling back against the pillows. "Right. That's why you grabbed lube first. To make it so super painful for me."
RM scowled. "Not for you. For the others. You told me before that you were five people, and they're innocent."
"So you do have morals." Agust raised an eyebrow as RM got between his legs, his bound hands against his chest. He smirked. "I'm such a good teacher."
"You haven't done shit." RM snapped, shoving one lubed up finger into the alter, making Agust hiss. "I've been taking care of myself, in case you haven't noticed."
"Daddy's been a little busy." Agust spread his legs, moaning softly as RM worked his finger in deeper. "What with changing and dealing with Pink and getting kidnapped."
"Just because I wasn't out doesn't mean I stopped existing!" RM shouted, tears forming in his eyes as he shoved another finger in and Agust winced. "You forgot about me! Do you even know how long it was that we didn't see each other? Even that first night, you let Jimin ruin it! And then you were with him for weeks and touched him and gave him all your attention! You completely left me behind! You made me, ruined me and then shoved me aside! How the hell am I supposed to believe you have any intent to make things up to me when you didn't give me one spare fucking thought for so fucking long?!"
He forced a third finger in and Agust yelped, squirming uncomfortably. "Ah! Fuck, okay, baby, you're not wrong, I did prioritize Jimin over you, and I did push you aside in pursuit of other things. But it's not all my fault! Namjoon didn't want you out and I couldn't force you out without becoming more of a bad guy!"
RM shook his head, pumping his fingers in and out of the alter harshly. "I'm your mistake! And I don't want to be fixed! I want you to see me everyday and hate yourself! I want you to think you've changed, and right when you're at your happiest moment, I'll be there to remind you you actually haven't changed at all!"
Agust groaned, shifting his legs against the sheets at the bruising pace RM had set. "Ah, fuck, baby can we talk about this after-"
RM leaned over him, angrily kissing the alter to shut him up.
Agust felt the younger alter's tears against his own cheeks and guilt crashed through him.
He tried to bring his bound hands up to caress the boy, but RM kept them pinned down, not letting Agust comfort him.
And then he yanked his fingers out, and Agust gasped against the kiss.
RM leaned back and kicked off his own boxers before grabbing his cock and lining it up with Agust's hole.
"What can I do to make you believe me?" Agust begged. "All I want is a second chance to show you how much I care for you!"
"Nothing!" RM hissed, shoving himself inside with one go.
Agust arched his back with a pained cry, his tied hands shooting up to wrap around RM's neck and the younger alter grabbed them, pinning to the pillow above Agust's head as he pounded into the alter.
Agust could feel the young boys anguish, anger and agony at all the pain he had caused him, with every thrust. He gasped out a moan, going limp on the mattress and letting RM take him however he wanted.
"I hate you!" RM cried, his hair obscuring his face as he fucked into Agust. "I'll always hate you! You broke me! Ruined me! And then left me for another! When you should have tried to fix me! I fucking hate you!"
Agust's tears ran down his cheeks, his eyes squeezed shut against the boys words. His fingers tightened around RM's, still trying to comfort him. "I know, baby. Let it all out, I'm here for you now."
"I hate you, I hate you," RM continued, his hips stuttering as he neared his climax. "Fuck! I hate you!"
"RMie..." Agust choked out. "I'm so sorry..."
With a final cry, RM came, shaking and collapsing on top of Agust, sobbing into the alters chest.
Agust groaned at the overstimulation, lowering his tied hands to hug RM.
"I hate you," RM said tiredly, eyes fluttering closed.
Agust sighed and ran his fingers through the boys hair in the way he knew Namjoon liked.
"It's okay, baby. I hate me too."
He had almost thought the younger alter had fallen asleep after a few minutes of silence, but then RM mumbled something that made Agust's heart skip a beat.
"Starting now, you have one last chance to show me you'll never hurt me again."
Agust hugged the boy tighter. "Okay...okay baby, I won't waste it."
His heart pounded as he stared at nothing, holding the sleeping alter tight against him.
"I promise."