No bad vibes guys... I love Lawrence.
Let me gush over him just this once like a die hard fangirl since it's my birthday week.
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"It was obvious who you were going to pick by the way that you looked at him." Judy whispered playfully after taking from you the neatly folded orange stick that you had pulled out from her hand - your nervousness and long process of deliberation before doing so only fueling her desire to tease you even more.
It made you realise that as childish as she was, cheesy things do not get past her.
But to be fair, your behavior towards Lawrence was to be blamed.
At first, you had imagined you were more withdrawn and timid during the meetings because all the other kids were with you - including Scarlett and Jay - and that you couldn't express as much as you wanted knowing that they will most likely just use the enthusiasm you exude to come up with a new and exciting way to mock you.
But eventually, you realised that it was the presence of one special person that was unintentionally manipulating your behavior and making you act in a way you normally wouldn't. Him.
You remembered the exact day that you were made aware of the feelings you harbored.
It was early in the morning after the meeting. You were lounging around in the main classroom with Harry and Eugene, sharing your opinions about the odd noises you've heard the night prior as you took a break before starting your morning patrol.
Scarlett and Jay were also around then, staying in the room for, perhaps, the same purpose as you. And they were near enough to overhear what you were discussing.
They imposed unsolicited snide comments about how you were just imagining things, or how you were just trying to attract attention, but despite how insulting some of the words they chose were, you felt no need to react just as bitterly.
Instead, every time they say something less than humane, you just look over your shoulder briefly, hold their stare, smile, and repeat.
This came off to Eugene as you being a pushover like you usually do and the annoyance that came forth because of it urged him to tell the vixen off in the most Eugene-esque way possible.
"Geez... She says (Y/N) was attention-seeking, but she's the one who couldn't accept that she's being ignored."
The coldness of his delivery paired with the casual shrug of his shoulders as he turned back to you and Harry like he didn't care where the arrow landed seemed so offensive that for a split second you saw her expression shift to a hurt frown before the hue of her face took on a deep shade of red.
And yet, you did not at all feel sorry for her. In fact, you felt nothing but curiosity as you anticipated how she will respond to someone as sharp-tongued as Eugene.
But just before she could open her mouth for a retort, Lawrence knocked on the already open wooden door and entered the room with Ethan in tow to tell you who was in charge of what for the patrol.
With just his presence joining you inside the room, an odd prickling feeling rose from the pit of your stomach all the way to the top of your head and a multitude of emotions came crashing down at you all at once like a burst dam.
You felt your hands sweating. Your heart beat spiking. Your head light. And your feet numb.
It was the same feeling you get when your introverted self is seconds away from standing in front of the class to do a 60-second introduction, and all of a sudden, you don't know who you are.
Just the sound of his melodic voice ringing from the doorway as he greeted a short, "Hey, guys." was enough to send you over the edge.
And the moment your eyes met with his calm, latte orbs as he smiled and took you in from behind his shiny, round glasses, you felt your face heat up so much that you had to look out the window next to you and onto the dried field outside - praying to anyone who could hear that he does not notice you blushing.
Oh no... I think I like Lawrence. You said under your breath. And that was the start of everything.
You thought you had been smooth and effectively secretive about how you felt.
You never even approach Lawrence unless the matter to discuss was important. You never say anything aside from what was courteous and necessary.
How Judy still managed to figure it out despite your attempts wad beyond you.
Thinking about the circumstances that lead to her discovery caused a nervous frown to come creeping up your face. But you pushed it down and retorted with confident emphasis, "No, it wasn't." while folding your arms across your chest to make it appear like what she was stating was far from the truth.
And you would have given everything just so she would be convinced. But she wasn't.
With her mouth curling up into a large, bow-shaped grin and eyes narrowing dramatically as though she couldn't read the name she wrote herself, she moved her face as close as she could towards the piece of paper and spoke in a loud and shameless way.
"(Y/N) picked Lawrence~!"
The way she said it dreamily in a high pitched, girly tone as she twirled around with her arms up in the air was like a realism of exactly how you felt the moment you saw his name scribbled onto the stick - like you weren't already anticipating to see the word to be written in bold letters the moment you unfold it.
LAWRENCE.
It was like a dream.
But now you couldn't be happy about it.
How could you be when the way that the carrot-haired girl teased you as she bounced off the floor like it was her who would get to spend seven minutes with her crush made you want to run away. Or to sink into the concrete floor where you stood.
And the feeling of regret only grew all the more when Zion added in a questioning manner, "Do you really think Lawrence would want to stay in there?" with a thumb pointing in the direction of the supply closet a few feet behind him. "Seems unlikely for such a sensitive kid."
The comment made you stop because he was right.
Sure you were happy that if the situation and the gods would permit, you'd get to spend seven minutes with the boy that you had been having tender feelings for.
But on the other hand, you were also aware that Lawrence, although mild-mannered, patient, and soft spoken, can also be direct, overly formal, serious-minded and strict. It was a stroke of good luck that on the occasions when you would do the patrol together, he's in enough of a good mood to humor your talkative and inquisitive nature.
But how about this time?
This thought made you especially nervous that your mouth opened unconsciously - uttering a timid. "I'm sorry, Lawrence." as you turned to face the brunette who was still standing at the side of the teacher's podium. You hoped not to bother him too much and wished to express that. You wanted to let him know that, ultimately, the choice was his if he wanted to proceed with playing the game.
But then you realised that he wasn't even paying attention to you. Or your group.
Instead, he appeared to be in a pondering state - a hand on his hips, the other under his chin as his brown orbs stared directly straight at the closet where you will supposedly stay. There was a serious glint in his eyes as though he was measuring the space up and down to see if it was even big enough to fit two people.
Wait... What is he doing? Is he actually interested? You asked yourself as you observed the unchanging blank expression imbued over his gentle features - trying to discern any emotion behind it besides what was obvious.
It brought a sliver of hope nestling in your chest that you willfully forced down to avoid getting yourself hurt should he crush your dreams with an all too realistic and no-nonsense comment.
For all you knew, he could just be checking it out to see if it would work as an additional food storage.
Yeah... It's probably just that. You say to yourself again while nodding.
But then he proved that everything you were thinking was incorrect when he spoke loud enough for you to hear.
"I think the closet could fit us both. Should we give it a try, (Y/N)?"
It was a statement you never thought would come from Lawrence that you spun around like lightning towards his direction, hoping to catch any evidence that he really did speak the words you had heard. And to your mild heart-attack, you saw him smiling at you with a smile bigger and warmer than how he usually does.
"Are you ready?" he asked again, taking on a livelier tone than normal. His hand extended out for you to take as he shifted his body in the general direction of the supply closet like he was ready to pull you in the moment you accept.
And you did.
You had tried not to make your feelings obvious, but your own excitement betrayed you so much that you grasped onto his bigger hand the moment he was within reach. And it was surprising how inviting his warmth was.
"Tell me if it's too much, okay?" he offered, the beautiful smile never leaving his face, once you were standing right outside the open closet space.
You didn't understand his statement at first. But it was made clear to you soon enough as Lawrence gently scooped you up - his strong arms coiled up on your back and behind your legs - and placed you gently inside the wooden area in a position you assumed he had calculated to provide the most comfort for the both of you.
It made you squeak despite it being over in a heartbeat.
And the worst part was that the others saw.
The way Eugene gave a disgusted frown and how Judy raised a two thumbs up high in the air, along with a big grin over her face, after your eyes wandered towards where they stood made you realise that what happened was real.
And it made you gulp in shock and nervousness.
You didn't notice that Lawrence had been looking at you through it all - at your slacked jaw and rounded eyes - until you heard him chuckle. And it was arguably the most beautiful sound you have ever heard from a man.
"Sorry. I suppose girls wouldn't like to be carried just suddenly like that." he spoke, taking your attention up to him and his beaming smile. It told you he does not at all regret what he did despite his apology.
"So can I close the door now?" he then asked. He was already halfway up on the elevated wooden flooring of the closet with his hands holding onto the now semi-closed doors when his question came out. And it felt like he really wasn't asking you for permission.
"S-Sure. Go ahead." you mustered up the courage to say and nodded.
And soon enough, it was dark.
Lawrence sat next to you in a way that it was obvious how he respects your space. Even his knees were firmly tucked against his chest as he leaned against the hard wall beside him.
It would have been cute to see someone as tall as him try to adjust to a cramped space while being a gentleman at the same time, but you couldn't bring yourself to comment, let alone smile, with how rapidly your heart was galloping inside your chest. It was so fast it drowned out your own thoughts.
For the next several seconds following Lawrence closing the door, silence had engulfed the small room. No other sound could be heard apart from your controlled breathing and the rustling of your clothes as you shifted from one sitting position to another.
The place was quick to grow to an unbearable hot with your body temperature rising from being so close to the boy you liked, and it only got worse when you raised your hand over to your knees only to brush against his in the process.
"I-I-I'm so sorry, Lawrence!" you whispered loudly, you breath puffing out with how fast you spoke. "I didn't mean to touch you!"
But he didn't say anything aside from an audible hum.
To you it sounded like he was pondering what to say. Like he was thinking about how he should react.
He might have been offended by what you did. And that he was just being sensitive to your feelings by keeping his comment behind his teeth.
Suddenly, the cold-eyed and serious look on his face back when Jay complained about the patrol flashed in your mind and it scared you almost to the point of withdrawing and calling the game off.
What if he hates you now?
What never occured to you was that you were just reacting extremely to such a small mishap, and you probably would never realise it had Lawrence not patted your head and asked, "Why are you so tensed up? Do I seem like a guy who would not give everything just to be held by you?"
His question was followed by a soft chuckle as he lowered his hand to place a loose strand of your hair behind your ears. It was soft enough that you almost didn't feel his touch, but warm enough to send your heart rate spiking again.
You hated how you're so weak and timid around Lawrence. But you loved how he seemed to be okay with it.
You groaned at his statement and tapped his hand that touched you in protest. "I just thought you were sensitive to things like that." you explained, looking away onto the darkness beside you.
"I'm not if it's you."
You looked at him, "What do you mean?"
And once more there was silence.
From what little that you could see, you noticed that Lawrence had an expression of ire and uncertainty etched across his face. He was glancing away with a small, almost invisible frown that you had to admit was by itself intimidating. But with his previous words as your encouragement, it no longer affected you as intensely as it would have. And you used this to gain advantage of the situation.
"Lawrence?" you called out again, somewhat brave from the feeling that he wasn't upset with you but more so with himself, and patted him gently on the shoulder.
The warmth of your hand on his body along with the way you so carefully whispered his name was enough to bring his attention back to you. You just wished he didn't do it so slowly because the way that his slightly tousled hair swayed gently as he did looked so gorgeous it took a lot for you not to swoon.
"(Y/N)... Am I not obvious enough?" he asked, the stern look on his face ever present, but lightened by a few degrees after meeting your eyes.
"Well, given that I don't get what you're talking about... I would say no." you answered, tilting your head slightly. "What was that obvious thing that I should have noticed?"
He sighed as if annoyed that you were being dense, but rubbed his temples instead to rid himself of any irritation he might be feeling.
"Okay. Let's just do this."
He raised his hand and took out a pair of postage stamps from his zipped up breast pocket. The first one had the image of a person - you couldn't determine who given the darkness of the small space - while the other had an image of a famous landmark.
Both items looked new and expensive that you couldn't help but gasp the moment your fingers touched their fine, creaseless surface. It made you wonder if collecting stamps was another hobby of his and when he even got the time to pick them up.
It was impressive.
But then again, this is Lawrence we're talking about. What you should be more concerned about was how he plans to use the stamps. And what they had to do with what you were previously discussing.
Reading the confused look that crept up on your face and finding it cute that you seem to be interested despite your uncertainty made Lawrence smile.
And once he was satisfied with taking in the reaction that only he got to see, he answered your unspoken question with, "We'll play a game."
A game? You asked, raising your eyes to meet with his in search of an explanation for the bigger mystery that swirled in your head but only finding him looking affectionately at you.
It was weird how he of all people would initiate a game when you were already playing a game. But you were curious to know what it was about.
"How?" you asked him.
He hummed again and looked away. "Let's see..." he then muttered, pausing a bit as if hesitant to proceed. "Guess which one these is more expensive. I'll give you a prize if you get it right."
The word 'prize' amped up your resting competitiveness that your smile gave away the excitement you felt despite your effort to hide it. And the fact that it might very well have something to do with what you were talking about only made the game all the more worth taking part in.
What will he give you as a prize?
"Okay!" you said with such a confident smile that for the umpteenth time, you made Lawrence laugh. You were so transparent with your emotions it was actually cute. He felt lucky that you chose him out of the other men in your group, but tried not to show it.
Instead, Lawrence masked it with nonchalance as he initiated the game.
"Go for it then." he said, handing over the small pieces of paper to allow you more freedom to judge them. "Take a look at the stamps and tell me which one you think is more expensive."
You really didn't know much about collector's items, whether they be coins, stamps or even antiques. You don't really pay attention to them even if they were ever presented to you. Why would you?
Looking back on it now, you silently wished you had given them more consideration.
But you did have a bit of an advantage - you had a reference book back at home that contained a list stamps that were ranked from most valuable to least valuable as well as a guide to determine which would have more worth based on the year they were printed and how many of them were marketed.
You read the book once when you had spare time and remembered a few points to check.
Using what you know, you looked at the stamps for a while - checking the kind of paper they were made out of, the fineness of the print, the thickness, and even the size.
You then raised your head and glanced at Lawrence who had been looking at you expectantly once you have made a decision and handed over to him the one you thought was more valuable and, therefore, more expensive.
"I know that one came out a few decades ago. So I would assume it's that." you said, scratching your neck shyly. You wanted to explain more but you could not find the right words for it.
"Ah... Really?" was all that he asked as soon as he saw what you had chosen, and then silence fell over the room again.
Despite the references you had as guide, you couldn't get anything apart from the information that was fairly obvious. The stamps were issued in different countries and so their values will already be different depending on what part of the world the judge was in. And you were no expert.
Ultimately, you only made a basis on the year you knew they were printed and the country they were from.
And your lack of better judgement was made evident by the tone Lawrence's voice took on after you had made your choice. There was a mix of disappointment and disbelief lacing his inquiry that you assumed you got it wrong.
Until he patted your head.
"Congratulations." he said softly, sounding sincere and happy. The smile that had previously dissipated now back and in full view on his beautiful face, making you blush the moment you saw it again.
"Thank goodness..." you breathed out, limbs shaking from the tension being washed out from your body all at once. You never realised you were so nervous until you saw him smile.
Your success made you feel genuinely happy that you unconsciously smiled back a big and vibrant smile that made you look like an innocent child receiving a compliment. It was so adorable that it made Lawrence stop in his tracks just to look at you.
He could have kissed you right then and there, but he had to be more patient, especially since you had the tendency to be a bit jumpy.
"Oh... Right. Your prize." he said, clearing his throat. "Would you like to receive it now?"
"Of course!"
There was no hesitation in your answer. And you only realised how shameless it had sounded when it rung in your mind a second later - when there was no way for you to take it back without sounding like an idiot.
Thankfully, Lawrence seemed to have been happy that your response was in no way lackluster. He ruffled your head with his big hands and entangled his fingers around the waves of your (h/c) hair before moving them to trace the beautiful curves of your neck and cheeks.
His touches were warm but weirdly enough, they sent flames into your heart in a way that left it permanently scorched.
"If so, then look at me and close your eyes." he asked sweetly, like he was careful not to sound demanding.
Without much of a protest, you followed as instructed and closed your eyes, noticing how he was smiling all the more sweetly before they fanned close. Right then you knew what he wanted to do, and you felt your cheeks heat up - so much that you wished that he didn't notice.
His hand rested at the base of your jaw as his fingers moved to tilt your face further in his direction.
And not long after that, you felt him inch towards to you, the warmth of his body rolling onto you as he moved his head so close his fringe swept like soft leaves against your forehead. It was ticklish and pleasant it made you smile bigger.
His breath soon touched your lips - lovely and sweet, like freshly baked pastry - and suddenly, you couldn't wait for him to kiss you.
But it never came.
Because just before Lawrence can take your lips and claim you for himself - as his girlfriend - the door swung open revealing Zion who was asked by Judy to tell you that seven minutes was over.
"Yo, did I interrupt something?" he asked with a smirk, that ever so Zion cocky look taking your attention swiftly.
He had obviously caught you in an awkward position and have taken it upon himself to tease you both about it.
And now you feel a little bit terrified about what might ensue afterward.
After all, you were aware that Lawrence can be a bit cold and heartless when he was angered or irritated enough. He was just so good at hiding it behind a friendly smile and a sweet tone that people will not normally realise what was going on in his mind unless they were paying enough attention to see the inconspicuous shift in his mood.
"No, you weren't." Lawrence answered, glancing at you with a kind look on his face before turning his attention back to Zion.
"Though, I must say... You should keep an eye on your legs for the next few days." he then added. "And maybe your arms and your head too."
Zion stared wide-eyed at Lawrence's smiling face as he delivered, what seemed to you, was a threat aimed directly at the clueless boy.
"What do you mean?" Zion asked, scratching his head.
"Nothing..." Lawrence responded, the smile disappearing and a somewhat cold and stern look taking the position it vacated. "I was just implying that you should be careful on your patrol and supply search this week. It's your turn... Remember?"
"Uhh... Yeah. I guess."
Zion walked away a tad bit confused by the way the brunette manipulated the conversation and somehow you were a bit worried. But you weren't able to dwell much on the thought as you felt your now boyfriend's hand squeeze yours tight enough to pull your attention to him and his beautiful, latte brown eyes.
"Let's go to my classroom, (Y/N). I still haven't given you your prize for winning."
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Mom asked me if I was ready to stand at the altar. I was like "what?"