It was nearing eight o'clock when they were finished with dinner.
Hoseok hadn't been able to tear his eyes from her the entire evening. Ever since their first meeting he'd been trying his best to fight back the emotions that bubbled up inside him when he was around her. From the way her voice seemed to dance in the air, to the small freckles dotting the corners of her shoulders.
However, it wasn't just that, was it? His feelings for Chris were more. They were so much more.
His feelings for her caught every insecure thought she had about herself as if they wanted to abolish them from the world. His feelings for her sparkled when she would show the slightest confidence about her capabilities, about her character. His feelings for her wanted to continue being a witness in her self-discovery.
He wanted to watch her bloom into the beautiful person she wanted for herself, and to realise that she is all that she needs for her world to go around.
"Hoseok?" Chris's voice got louder and he jumped a little.
"Hmm?" eyes drawn to hers instantly, he fell into those brown oceans, another colour painting itself into the walls of his heart.
"Should we get going?"
"Oh, yeah," he sent her a small smile as he stood up, waiting for her. As she slid out of her seat, her hands went straight to her arms as she rubbed it up and down.
Immediately he felt for his jacket on his shoulders.
Dammit, I didn't bring one.
"Are you cold?" he asked instead.
"A little," she nodded, throwing a look over the balcony a couple feet away, "The sun's only setting now but it's quite cold already."
"I'm sorry, I don't have a jacket to lend you."
"Are you kidding?" grinning, she held her arm out and wrung it through his, "You don't need to do that for me, Hoseok."
He blinked down at the way his arm could hold hers so perfectly, the small space between it and his torso was a frame for her, and her only.
"Speaking of!" she spoke abruptly, causing his eyes to whip back up again, "I still have yours from that one time in the park."
"You can give it to me another time—"
"I keep forgetting," when they exited the restaurant, she started for the guest elevators, "If you can spare five minutes we can quickly go up to my room and get it."
"It's okay, honestly, you can give it to me the next time—" Hoseok was no longer looking at Chris now, eyes travelling from floor, to ceiling, to the flowers in every corner of the lobby in an attempt to save himself from the nerves eating up his insides.
He couldn't go to Chris's room when it was just the two of them, it was already taking all his might to hold himself together with her this close. How was he going to survive being in her room alone?
"Five minutes, I promise," she pressed the elevator button, "Wait, do you have a curfew tonight?"
"Not really, no."
"Do you want to watch a movie? I finally got a copy of the first Iron Man and I have been wanting to rewatch it all week."
"You sure weren't kidding when you said you loved Marvel."
"Did you think I was kidding?" she sounded offended, stepping into the lift as the doors opened.
"Are you sure you don't want to sleep early? It's almost eight."
"Hoseok, I'm not a grandma," she rolled her eyes, "Almost eight?"
He couldn't think of any other excuses, because, who was he kidding, of course he wanted to spend more time with her. He just knew he couldn't handle it.
"I mean, I guess I could stay for an hour or so," he said, finally.
"Yay!" she cheered, the elevator stopping and doors opening at the same time, "And we have arrived."
Chris released her arm from his and as soon as she did so, Hoseok felt a weird sensation zip through his body. Before this moment, he had never felt like warmth was dissipating from his body, and yet here he was.
She guided him to her door, opening and holding it for him to walk past. He stood awkwardly at the entrance, slipping his shoes off as she did so.
"Okay, please make yourself at home," motioning to her couch, she slipped behind her bedroom door, "I'm just going to get your jacket."
Only a couple seconds later did Hoseok hear a small shriek from inside the bedroom, "Oh my gosh!"
The sharp cry made Hoseok leap up, "Are you okay?" he asked through the door.
The wooden frame slowly opened, revealing a frowning Chris, wet from the stomach down.
"Wh-What just happened?" he asked, trying his best to bite back a laugh.
"I forgot I left a cup of water on my desk, and I just— Ugh!"
He gave up on trying not to laugh, "Of course you did."
"Don't laugh!" she said through a smile, just before giggling herself. And in the midst of laughing, Hoseok's eyes found her. Chris's eyes shut as the skin around it crinkled, mouth pulling back to reveal the slightly crooked teeth he had grown to adore. Hair falling messily over her face as she stared at her torso, regret clearly filling her.
"You should probably change out of that now," the grin still playing on his lips, he watched her frown deepen when she looked down at her dress.
"You're right," frowning, she pointed to her lounge, "You can start the TV, I'll be ten minutes."
"Take your time."
And with that, she slipped into her bathroom and Hoseok plonked himself onto her couch.
Before reaching for the remote, he slowly scanned the room.
He was here.
He was in Chris's space.
Finally gaining his composure, he turned the TV on and started to flip through the channels, picturing Chris doing the same thing every evening. I wonder what she watches on TV.
Although, not long after, he heard a small vibration sound from somewhere nearby.
Looking down to the coffee table, he watched the phone light up, a number on the screen calling Chris.
He threw a nervous glance at her bedroom door, before looking back down.
If he let it ring, it should be fine, right? She can call them back later.
But when the ringing finally stopped, the same sound erupted from the device again.
Hoseok started to get anxious, what if someone at the hotel wanted her?
He just let it be, though.
When the phone rang for the third time, however, he couldn't stop himself from picking up.
"Hello, Chris's phone," he answered.
"Hello?" a deep voice on the other end said, clearly confused.
"Hi, I'm sorry, Chris isn't able to come to the phone right now but would you like me to convey a mess—"
"Who is this?" the man asked impatiently and Hoseok's eyebrows shot up, clearly not liking how he was being spoken to. He wondered if this was who he thought it was.
"Chris is just taking a sho—"
"You're him, aren't you?"
"Excuse me?"
"Oh my gosh, it is you."
"I'm sorry, perhaps you should call a little later and talk to Ch—"
"You know," the tone of the voice made Hoseok feel uneasy, butterflies being introduced into his stomach yet again, but for a different reason this time. "You know she's just using you?"
"Sorry?"
"She's just getting close to you so you will sell her your land," there was a pause, and Hoseok could almost hear his own heartbeat, "and it looks like she's almost there."
"What?"
"I just thought you should know," he let out a small laugh, "Chris can't be trusted, all she cares about is—" before he could continue, Hoseok had hung up.
It wasn't true, right? It couldn't be true.
"We're friends now, remember?" she asked, "You don't have to lie to me."
"I'm sorry, I just don't want to pile all this on you—I shouldn't have-"
"Nonsense."
"Chris-"
"You said the same thing to me, didn't you?" he turned to her, "You're not a burden. You want to talk? I'm here. You have to vent? Cry? I'm right here, okay?"
It couldn't be true.
Just then, as if on cue, Hoseok heard the shower stop and Chris open a door.
With the man's voice running through his mind, he couldn't think straight.
No, he trusted Chris. It couldn't be true.
"Ah, crap, Hoseok! Do you think you can come in here and get me my shirt?"
"H-Huh?"
There it was again, Hoseok's heart starting to race.
"Sorry, I just left it on my desk and my other tops are in the laundry."
"Where is it?"
"In my bedroom, the desk with my lamp."
He sucked in a deep breath, and walked over to her room. Somehow managing to control the raging in his chest, he walked over to the desk she was speaking of.
Picking up the shirt, he started to turn toward the bathroom door but something caught his eye before he could.
On the desk, there was a document with a familiar address plastered on the top.
The address of his farm.
He didn't want to pry, but he couldn't tear his eyes away.
As he read the next few lines, he tried his best to keep repeating the same thing over and over again.
It couldn't be true.
It couldn't be true.
It couldn't be true.
But the proof was right there. How could he say it wasn't true when the documents he was looking at right now says otherwise?
His heart felt like it was going to fall right through his ribcage.
He didn't know what to say.
He didn't know what to think.
The hand holding Chris's shirt started to tremble and he let go of the material instinctively.
Had she really just done all this for his land?
"Hoseok?" her voice snapped him back to the present, and he looked up. But the image of her blurred through the tears welling in his eyes.
"Hoseok!" he realised she'd picked up on his misty eyes, "Hoseok what—"
She quickly stepped out from behind the bathroom door, not caring that she was in her sports bra as she threw on a jacket that was strewn over her bed frame.
"What happened?" her gaze fell on her desk then, eyes widening when she spotted the documents she'd printed ages before.
"You..." he couldn't get any words out, the voice box that had been working for 26 years finally stopped.
"Hoseok, wait, listen—"
"You knew what I was going through," his breathing hitched, and he knew full well that all the emotions he'd tucked away for years every time someone had wronged him were laced through his words, "You knew what I was going through and you still do this to me?"
"Hoseok—"
"I'm used to people letting me down, Chris," pain was attached to each word, but he didn't care, "I never bother with them, I continued to let people do that to me. But you, Chris I trusted you. I opened up to you. I believed you were different."
"Listen, Hoseok, I can explain—"
"Is this why you befriended me?" a tear spilled from his eyes, and, like the opening of the flood gates, many more followed.
The regret flashing through Chris's eyes hurt Hoseok. And he hated that he felt that way.
"I'm sorry, Hoseok, it's not what you think though—"
"I—" he cut her off, "I think I'm just going to go, Chris. Thank you for the evening."
And without waiting for her, he crossed her bedroom in three strides, and a further three to her front door. He opened it on his own and left without bothering to close it.
This feeling was so alien to him. Hoseok didn't really know what it was like to be angry. Was he angry? He felt betrayed, that was for sure.
Then there was the look in Chris's eyes. He hated that he'd wanted to cave. He hated that he was the reason she looked that scared.
When the elevator doors opened, he stepped out and left through the exit, cursing himself for not believing what that man had said on the phone.
He was so sure Chris would never do something like that.
But he was too naive.
Looking over at his farm, his pace quickened. And before he knew it, he was running.
Back home.
He wanted to run into his mother's arms.
He wanted to cradle in his father's neck.
He wanted to do everything to fill this aching hole that Chris had just cracked open.
His farm got bigger and bigger as he got closer. And for the first time in his whole life, Hoseok felt his small corner of the world get smaller.
i love you all xx