Namjoon leaned against the street light, not even feeling the coldness from the ground leak through his clothes.
He was too busy staring at his favorite picture of Yoongi- the one of them framed by their bed.
Tears blurred his vision and he rubbed them away with frustration.
His sadness party was interrupted when Seokjin called him for the fifteenth time.
This time, Namjoon answered.
"Namjoon!" Seokjin gasped. "Finally- where are you? Are you okay? I know you hate us but please, after everything...don't go off alone without telling us anything. Please...just don't do that."
Namjoon didn't reply, staring down at his shoes as he held the phone up to his ear.
"He picked up?" Namjoon could hear Hoseok's shocked tone. "Namjoon! Please, tell us where you are and we'll come get you!"
Namjoon let his head fall forward, resting his forehead on his knees.
He was so god damn fucking tired.
"Namjoon?" Seokjin asked, tentive. "Please...can we come bring you home?"
It was silent for a few long moments, before Namjoom finally choked out, "Library."
He could hear them scrambling to get to the car and he hung up, burying himself deeper in his thin jacket.
He only wanted Yoongi...he would only be happy if Yoongi was with him.
Seokjin and Hoseok didn't understand...they still had each other.
Sure, they all loved Yoongi, but nobody loved Min Yoongi like how Min Namjoon loved him.
Jimin could relate a little more, since he had Jungkook, but Jungkook wasn't kidnapped by his criminal father.
Namjoon was alone in this.
He looked up at the sky and watched a bright star shoot over him.
Somehow, he just knew the star was telling him to stop being a fucking dumbass. He had four people who were there for him, if he would stop pushing them away and let them in.
He sighed, staring up at all the stars.
Oh how he wished he and Yoongi could live there, just them, away from everything bad, just playing and jumping from star to star, happily ever after.
He wanted Yoongi's cute giggle, his gummy smile, his amazing food, his warm hugs, his deep voice, his teaching knowledge...
He knew if Yoongi was here, he would scold Namjoon and slap him for how he snapped at his boyfriends.
"I'm sorry," Namjoon whimpered into the night. "I need you baby...I can't do anything right without you. You're all my thoughts, distracting me, fueling my emotions...I just need you. I can't operate without you in my life, right next to me, where you should be."
Tears slipped down his cheeks. "I don't know why I can't protect you...everyone says I'm so smart, but I acted like an idiot so many times. They say I'm strong, but I'm nothing without you. I can't handle being away from you...I can't stand it. It hurts!"
The stars twinkled.
"Why..." Namjoon wiped his cheeks with his jacket sleeves. "Why couldn't it have been me in that box? Why couldn't it have been anyone else but you that got taken? You know I'd trade places with you in a heartbeat if I could...you and Jungkook."
The night was still and calm around him, offering up no answers.
"And Agust...I let you down. I'm so sorry...you were doing so well, I was so excited to tell everyone about you...I was wishing the best for you and Jimin- oh God, and I snapped at Jimin when he didn't deserve it. You see?! You see- Yoongi and Jungkook? This is why I need you! I'm a fucking idiot on my own!" He cried, burying his face in his hands.
Light rain started to sprinkle down, slowly drenching the crying boy.
He heard the sound of a car pulling up and looked up to see Seokjin and Hoseok racing out of the car, running through the rain to him.
"Namjoon-" Seokjin stopped a foot away.
Hoseok hesitated as well, as if they didn't want to get too close to him.
Namjoon looked at them, seeing how worried, exhausted and beaten down they looked, even through the rain.
Oh, my precious sub, you know I love you more than anything, but God damn you're stupid sometimes, Yoongi's voice laughed in his ear. That's your family, sub. And you don't ever turn your back on family.
They've been through a lot too, Jungkook reminded him. They lost Yoongi too.
Bursting into full on tears, Namjoon sobbed and reached both his hands out for them.
"Numbug..." Hoseok was by his side in an instant, grabbing Namjoon's hand tightly.
Seokjin was crying as well, his tears mixing with the rain as he took Namjoon's other hand.
"Come on sweetheart, let's get you home."
Namjoon let them pull him to his feet and guide him to the car, shivering inside his jacket.
They drove home quick, and helped him inside.
"Do you want to eat anything?" Seokjin asked hopefully as he took off the boys wet jacket.
He wasn't hungry, but he knew Yoongi and Jungkook would want him to eat something, so he just nodded.
"I'll make you something nice and warm." Seokjin promised.
"Nyummie..."
Namjoon faced Hoseok.
"Can I start a hot shower for you?" The boy asked.
Namjoon nodded and Hoseok visibly relaxed, racing up the stairs to start it.
"Sweetheart, change into something dry so I can wash your wet clothes." Seokjin urged.
"No!" Namjoon wrapped his arms around Yoongi's shirt, stepping away from Seokjin's outstretched hands.
Seokjin looked crestfallen.
Sub, Yoongi's voice in his mind was back. It's just a shirt. Find me and I'll steal a hundred more to make smell like me.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean..." Seokjin murmured, lowering his arms.
Namjoon sighed, looking down at the hem of the shirt in his hands. "No...it's okay. It's just a shirt."
He slipped it off, staring at it for a moment before handing it to Seokjin, who added it to his wet jacket.
"Thank you, sweetheart." Seokjin's voice was soft, knowing what the shirt meant to Namjoon. "I'll get it right back to you, I promise."
Namjoon just nodded, turning away and heading up the stairs.
He stopped by Jimin's door, and hesitated only for a moment before knocking on it.
There wasn't an answer, and he slowly opened the door, peering inside.
The room was empty and Namjoon frowned, and then realization struck him.
He turned to Jungkook's room, and there was Jimin, curled up in a little ball on the boys bed.
"Jimin..." Namjoon closed the door behind him.
The boy didn't answer, asleep. He had dry tear tracks on his cheeks and Namjoon sighed, knowing he was the cause of them.
He walked over and sat on the bed, reaching out to gently shake the pink haired boy.
"Jimin..."
Jimin slowly blinked his eyes open, looking around in confusion. "Koo?"
"It's me," Namjoon apologized.
Jimin woke up fully and stared. "Don't yell at me again, I didn't do anything wrong by being in here."
"No-" Namjoon sighed. "I- I shouldn't have yelled in the first place, and I'm sorry. I was just in a bad place and overwhelmed and I took it out on you. On all of you. I'm so sorry, you're right that you didn't do anything and I-" He broke into fresh tears and Jimin smiled softly, crawling into the boys lap.
He pressed his small hand against Namjoon's cheek, resting their foreheads together.
"It's okay, JoonJoon. We can't fully comprehend what you're going through, both with losing Yoongi and what they did. We need to understand you need space and time. It's okay, you're forever my JoonJoon, no matter what."
He kissed the boys nose, and Namjoon felt relieved Jimin had forgiven him.
"Thank you." He hugged the tiny pinkette.
There was a knock on the door, and then Hoseok stuck his head in. "Showers ready, Namnums."
Jimin slid off so Namjoon could stand.
As he stepped inside the hot spray of water, he felt a little better.
They would find Yoongi.
They would be all be reunited again.
He would make damn sure of it.
He stepped out, grabbing a towel and his phone.
After typing in his pass code, he went to his contacts and dialed a familiar contact.
Now calling: Taehyung