So no surprise, but we found ourselves a couple of hours later in T's bed. We lay across from each other catching our breath.
The street was busy outside and as we found our bodies tangled back together my head on his chest as he played with my hair.
"Do you like it?" I asked a little self-conscious and insecure around him, I guess that was normal considering how vulnerable I had just been. He kissed my head.
"I was definitely not expecting it. Or the other things I saw." I knew he was only joking, I think, but he sounded a little jealous and a part of me, not a part I'm proud of - liked it.
"I'm sorry about you seeing that." I tried to act sincere but he tickled me to tease.
"Oh so you're sorry I saw?" I rolled off of his stomach and lay beside him watching his face change as he spoke.
We started laughing to ease any tension. "You deserved it, a little bit." I fired back with a pillow.
He put his hands up in surrender. "Nah, I did a little bit. Plus it's understandable."
He straddled me and used his surrendered hands to pin mine down. "What is?" I asked testing. He bought his face closer to mine teasing me with the promise of a kiss.
Just as I begin to melt into him again he drew back quickly. "That you would be swept off by some Italian dude whilst I'm out of town." He began to kiss up my arms and neck.
"Hmm I guess you better stick around then." I flipped myself on top of him, his hands resting on my hips. His eyes looked like such beautiful little pools of light. His eyes were dancing.
"Oh I'm staying around, I've got my eye on you." He winked. He began to venture his hands up my body.
"Mhmm. What do you see then?" His thumb and forefinger cradled my head.
"Oh I don't know just the most sexy fucking girl ever, naked in my bed." He tried to kiss me but I dodged as payback.
"T!" I swatted him away and clambered out of bed to pull on a t-shirt and some clean boxers. I held up one to ask permission to borrow it. He grinned "You're not wrong though." I came back into bed. I was little nervous of his mentioning my nakedness, I always liked to stay covered up - even in bed.
But oh how sweet those kisses were. He broke away to speak.
"You called me T." His voice was husky and smelled a little like rum and cola.
"Why do you like it when I call you that?" We found ourselves in the kitchen as I went about getting some water and another cigarette.
"No one else has." He followed me onto the balcony with a drink in hand. He asked for a toke and I sat in his lap with him enjoying the last of the summer heat.
"What was New York like?" I asked.
"Ah, great. Got to see my parents and family - some old friends as well. I met with career people and all that." He said the last part as he played with my hair a little.
"And?" I raised my eyebrows. He kissed me quickly.
"I've got a project that I'm filming in England in June. It's based on Henry V by Shakespeare. I'm excited."
"No way! No way, you're joking. You're kidding me." I embraced him like a maniac.
"No I'm not. Kinda cool huh." He tried to act all nonchalant so I flicked some of my water on him.
"Guess you really are sticking around." He grabbed me all of a sudden in another passionate kiss, both of my hands preoccupied.
"Oh baby consider yourself stuck." He whispered in my ear before biting it a little.
We sat admiring each other, my nerves had dissipated a little but I still felt so uncovered with him, but I guess quite literally a couple of moments ago I had been. I knew I was going to have to go to the market tomorrow and buy all the tangerines in the world. He sat watching me and sipping his rum. I bought out a pack of cards from his coffee table and set us up a game on his balcony. He poured me another drink.
"Adele is going to freak out." I said looking at my hand of cards.
"Everyone will." He said looking at his.
"What are you going to tell her?" I asked winking at him as he hid his face from me with his cards.
"Oh I don't know." He peered over the cards.
I took a sip of my drink and started to decide what to play. "T, stop messing with me."
"Oh but it's so fun." His hands running up my legs under the table. "Plus you're so fucking hot when you're mad."
"Okay okay. Back to the game Mr Chalamet." I swatted his hands away and rested my head in my palm.
"What's your surname?" He asked.
"Villin." I hated my surname. I hated it.
"Sounds like villain." I rolled my eyes.
I held up my two fingers like devils horns. "Mwahaha. Now answer me." I put down my first card.
He looked at what I put down and breathed in. "I guess I'll tell her, that I found this really cute British girl who likes stealing my cards, my attention and..." He put down and picked up. "My feelings."
"Mmm. She sounds really cool." He was so bad with poker faces. You'd think because he was an actor he'd be good but nope, he was awful.
"Yeah she kinda is. She's got a cool accent." That made me laugh.
"But not a good French one." I referenced our first ever conversation.
"But you have gotten better." He added.
I tied my hair into a bun to cool my neck down. "You think?" I had been trying to work on my French.
"Yeah. Besides you'll have to help me with my English accent." It made my face ache from smiling so much thinking about him in England with me. Well, maybe with me. Who knows I thought.
"Oh god I don't even want to hear." I cringed. Americans and english accent equals awful.
We kept playing cards and drinking and he got up to put some music on his speakers and danced with me slowly.
He felt so perfect, like every part of his body was made to fit in with mine. His head stayed on my shoulder as he kissed my neck tenderly.
I was lost in a haze. I didn't ever want to be found.
"Hey, I'm not going to ask you properly because it is a little early. But ... do you think if you ever came out to New York you'd want to hang out."
He broke the comfortable silence as we were getting ready for bed. We didn't even consider me going back home, I guess we knew that wasn't an option now.
"Oh I'd love to sorry but I've already got plans with this guy out there." I teased as we brushed our teeth.
"No you don't." He rolled his eyes and pinched my cheek. You can guess which one, whatever feels more comfortable for you to read.
"Yes I do. He's this really funny guy who really likes to sneak an Ace of Hearts into your bag."
He wrapped his arms around me waist from behind and we watched ourselves in the mirror, we did look beautiful together. We just really worked.
"Oh yeah in that case you do. You have a lot of plans with him." He disappeared into the kitchen.
"Yeah, like what." I called out from the bed.
"Secrets." He called back coming over with two glasses of water and some paracetamol. He was always very considerate in that way.
He came and cuddled up beside me. "You're crazy."
"Don't you love it?" I tried to scoff but I was worried. Because yes, I thought, I think I am really starting to.
I'm loving being with you, and how you make me feel so safe and yet I can never predict what you're going to do or what you're thinking.
I love how it feels like we've done this dozens of times before and yet it's all new. Yet none of this feels rehearsed and practised, nothing feels dull and lack-luster.
I'm insane, I thought, I'm absolutely insane. And I really was right about that.
"Shut up." He turned out the light and came back to find me. He fell asleep first but I fought it, I just wanted to enjoy it for as long as I could.