"...siting hours are over, you have to leave sir." There was the sound of a chair being pulled, it was loud. It scrapped against the floor but it felt like it resonated all around the room. I wanted to cover my ears but I couldn't move, my body wasn't responding. "I'm staying, if you have a problem, I suggest you talk about it with the person in the room next door. I'm sure Don Giovanna would be more than willing to find-" "No, no, I'll- I'll let you stay tonight. Again... Please just don't touch anything." The person next to me scoffed and reassured the calmer voice that he would never dream of it, soon afterwards the door closed and I heard the person next to me sigh heavily. "They can't do anything, it's been days... and still nothing... I knew they weren't trustworthy. Fuck." It was followed by a weight on my thighs, and I think I felt something in my hand? Everything was numb so, I wasn't really sure. I was awake, I had to try to talk, right? I tentatively tried, 'Bruno?' There was a silent, and no answer. I'm guessing he had not heard me. I suppose my voice didn't come through. I repeated the name, hoping this time he'd hear it, still nothing. Instead I tried to tighten my fist around his hand, and while it wasn't as strong as I hoped it'd be, it did the trick when the weight on my thighs was lifted and I heard my name being called softly, maybe even in panic.
"Alda? Alda- Alda are you awake? Did you just squeeze my hand?" I missed his voice; it hadn't been long since I heard it but I missed it nonetheless. With a lot of effort, and difficulty, I opened my eyes but closed them right away when the bright light from above my headboard hit my eyes. "Fuck- light." I managed to utter, my voice sore and rough. Bruno quickly understood and turned off the light before joining my side once more. I could feel he was holding back so many questions, I don't know how long I had been asleep but it seemed to be long enough to worry him. But knowing him, he would have been worried even if it had been one night of sleep. I scoffed at my mental joke and opened my eyes again, the only light that illuminated the room being the bright full moon outside. "Hey, nice nap." I said playfully, giving him a side look as I tried to lift my hand to his face only for it to fall back on the bed. He huffed a laugh and grabbed my hand, bringing it to his face as he sat back on his chair and shook his head. "When you said you'd sleep for days, I thought you were joking." He commented.
I grinned tiredly and chuckled, moving my fingers to brush them along his jaw. "Y'look tired." I mumbled, seeing the eyebags under his eyes. It broke my heart to see him like that, I knew he always slept bad but part of me felt like he also hadn't slept much since I was in this hospital. Knowing him, he probably drank tons of coffee to stay awake until I woke up. Huffing another laugh, he nodded towards me. "You're the one to talk, sleeping beauty." I rolled my eyes at his comparison, but still replied, I was curious. "How long was I out?" I whispered. My eyelids felt heavy, I felt heavy. I felt like a ton of brick, I was sore all over and didn't feel like moving and yet I wanted to stretch or do something but my body did not seem reactive at this very moment.
Looking back at Bruno, he had a serious expression on his face. He seemed to consider his words a moment, before finally saying, "10 days." I hummed, taking in the info. Ten days? For a bullet wound? Was my body that weak? It wasn't even near... no wait, I don't remember where I was shot. Was I shot in the leg? Could I walk? In panic, I look down at my feet and wiggled my toes, and let out a sigh of relief when they moved as I hoped they would. Focusing on my body, I tried to feel where it was the most painful but everything was numb, so I had no clue where it was. Looking back at my partner, I quirked a brow, "Why? Where was I shot?" Getting up, Bruno lifted the blanket from my form, then my hospital gown to show the bandages on the lower right side of my stomach. He then covered me back again, sighing. "Obviously, there were some complication. But, they were able to stabilize it and... we've been waiting for you to wake up since then." I hummed in response, thinking of what else I could ask, then there was a flash of blond hair in my head and his name escaped my lips, "Giorno?".
"He's fine, he woke up a week ago, but he'll be leaving soon. Mista's staying by his side, he said you wouldn't want to see him when you wake up." A shiver ran down my spine at the mention of his name. I don't know why. Staring back at Bruno, I got lost in thoughts for a moment, rummaging through my head for any reason why I would react like that. Then it all came rushing back in;
She'll survive, I believe she can survive a bullet wound, I believe she can survive a bullet wound- I swear I believe she can do it, if I believe enough, she'll make it through right? Her body hit the ground with a thud. Everything was silent. There was a ringing in my ear, my hands were shaking. Her eyes they're wide open but there's no emotion in it. I can't find the strength to move, now she can't move either.
I did not pull the trigger- but I was holding the gun, I killed her, I did not want to kill her. She's dead. I killed her. I'm cold, my pants are slowly being wet from the slight drizzle of rain that started, I'm muddy. I can smell the faint scent of iron. It's the blood. There's also the smell of something burnt, the clothes, the gun. I'm shaking, I can't hold back the tears, the sobs. I'm sobbing? Or am I wailing? I can't control myself. What have I done? I didn't want to do that; I didn't want to do that. She could have left. "It had to be done bella, this was the mission." I heard the usually happy voice of Mista, serious and dark.
"Alda, Alda, come back to me. Alda, everything is fine, amor, breathe please." Everything came back, I remembered all that happened. Why did she die? Why did he kill her? She could have joined us, she wasn't wrong- I could stop thinking about it, I could hear Bruno's voice. I could hear it but I couldn't find it, I couldn't do anything. His voice was then followed by the same, calmer, voice from earlier. They were telling him that I was feeling a shock, then they asked him what happened and he explained everything. I was aware of everything around me but I couldn't seem to hook on reality, it felt like a daydream. Suddenly, a light, it was moving, in and out of my sight. After a few more moves of the light, I was finally focusing again, on the person in front of me. The nurse, he had a small flashlight at the tip of his fingers and was holding my eyelids open as he checked. "Ah there she is, welcome back. How are you feeling?" There was a polite smile on his face, but he was probably a bit frustrated that it happened, all because of the person next to me.
Shrugging, I said I felt numb and that I could hardly move. He laughed and said it was because of the morphine, that he was going to lower the dosage then proceeded to ask me more questions about how I was feeling. He did a quick check up of my vitals, or so he said, I really had no knowledge of that, and he wrote a few things down on my charts. Once he was done, he looked at Bruno with a warning look, "I would suggest avoiding topics that would increase her heart race, I do not know what topic was brought up but maybe avoid that until she's if fully up, right?" It was the first time I saw Bruno like that, but it made me smile, he was pouting, like a child being scolded. But he brought his serious attitude back and agreed politely before getting up and shaking the nurse's hand, thanking him for his work. It was with the most passive-aggressive attitude that he then asked him to leave the room. I was still pretty high from the medicine and that long sleep but I could still observe him for what it was and it was funny to see.
When the nurse left the room, his chest huffed and his eyes filled with frustration, Bruno closed the door gently behind him before finally looking at me with worry. "What happened?" Alright, he was not planning on beating around the bush. Sighing I tried to sit up, it only made Bruno rush to my side as he helped me up, pillows behind my back as he used the bed's remote to raise the mattress. When I was comfortable, first I shrugged. "I don't know..." he knew I was lying. He sat back on his seat, and grabbed my hands, asking me to be honest. Did I really want to talk about it? No. Did I have a choice? Unfortunately, no. So ,I played it off, and chuckled, "I think I'll need therapy." But the more I thought about it, about what happened before I was in a coma, to me it was last night, to them it was pretty far away, the less I could hold back.
I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes, my hands were starting to shake and my breathing was getting heavier. No, don't panic. Don't panic, it's useless, it's in the past. Get on with it, for fuck sake Alda, get a grip. No amount of inner monologue could fix my coming panic attack. "Fuck, fuck, I hate this- I'm sorry, I just- I killed someone Bruno haha- I- the blood. It spattered all over my face, the ground, her face! The fucking gun! Everywhere! The bang, the ringing in my ear, everything is rushing back to me- Mista- he- Mista said it had to happen but did it?? It's-" I felt like I was drowning, I was out of breath but breathing fine, yet it was awful. I was choking, it was stupid, I chuckled nervously and was about to continue my ramble when Bruno sat next to me in bed and brought me in a very tight hug. At first, I wasn't calming down, but then he started talking about random things, as he rubbed my back and, slowly, my breathing evened and I was left only sobbing on his shoulder.
We stayed like that a long time, I let out everything without any of us speaking. In my head everything was a mess, my moral compass being the one who had taken a biggest hit. My conscience was already a mess after Sergei's accident... murder. It wasn't an accident; it was a murder. Let's call a spade a spade, uh.
I had no idea how I was supposed to get over this, or if I ever will but I knew I couldn't just rely on friendships and love. Even less when those things were both drenched in the same blood, I was drenched in. I was not about to bash them for being desensitize to murder, but I still had that part of me that was still sensitive to those things, I like to call it human decency. Was I even allowed to judge them for being desensitized to murder when I had killed two people? Casting the first stone in the situation could be seen very hypocritical, and I was very well aware of it.
And yet, in the back of my head, I had this strong feeling towards Mista. His action... I couldn't hate him, but I don't think I could see his face right now, either. It would be stupid of me to hate him when I knew full well, he did those things on daily basis, he killed; But not just him, all of them. I couldn't stay in my ivory tower and avoid of all this; it was bound to happen. But did it have to happen with my hand, my finger on the trigger? And with my old friend, at the end of the barrel? The bullet in her head? Did it have to turn out like that? Feeling sick at the thought, I pushed Bruno away and gesture with my hand that I was about to throw up, so he rushed to the door and grabbed the bin that was sitting there, and brought it to me. It was timed perfectly, the moment I grabbed it and let it all out. There were a few waves, both of them making my throat hurt more and more. But once it was over, I leaned back on the pillows, the bin still in hand and made a peace sign with my hands. "All good, really. I'm feeling tip top." It made my lover chuckle in relief before yawning as he sat back on the chair.
All the stress that had gathered in his body throughout the days, was probably slowly leaving his body since the moment I woke up. I could see the tiredness was catching up to him, no matter how hard he tried to hide it. Calling out his name, I asked if he could help me to the bathroom so that I could brush my teeth, he accepted in a heartbeat and held me as we walked there. Once there, he stayed by my side while I brushed my teeth, I could see his face in the reflection of the mirror and it reminded me of our lazy mornings. I wanted to go home, but I knew it'd be a while until then. Smiling at him through the mirror, he smiled back and brushed my shoulders before placing a kiss on back of my neck. "I'm glad you wake up, I missed you. I'm sorry you went through this." I scoffed and leaned over the sink to spit, and rinse my mouth before turning around, a tired smile on my face. "Yeah... I made the choice of joining Passione, right? It was bound to happen... I just never thought it'd hit so hard, I guess... but... I think I want to handle this properly, and see a professional-" "You can talk to me if you'd like, I'm here for you."
I shook my head and kissed him tenderly, before leaning my forehead against his. "I love you so much, but I don't want to put that weight on you. You're hardly sleeping as it is, I'd rather see a therapist to get help- but I'm here for you too, I just think I really need this." I explained hesitantly, opening my eyes once again only to see his beautiful eyes filled with what looked like a mixt of understanding and hurt. Knowing him, he could even be blaming himself for not being the one I'd go to after such a traumatic event, so I quickly added, "It's not your fault, I just know professionals are, you know, made to handle that- but we're not. You might be a mafioso, but that doesn't mean your coping mechanisms are good, you know?" I felt his breath hit my skin as he laughed, humming in agreement. "You're right... I'll talk to Giorno about finding a professional that won't go to the police."
I couldn't help the cackle that left my throat, it surprised Bruno too, but I was still laughing after a few moments. "I always, haha I always forget about that. Right, right, a professional that is willing to talk to murderers that aren't in jail, got'chu." I said with a thumbs up. He rolled his eyes in response, telling me I wasn't a murderer, I had done those actions in self-defense. But I knew it was pointless to argue, so I only hummed and asked him to come to bed with me. He said he shouldn't do that, but I told him I didn't care, I wanted him in bed with me and he clearly needed a good night of sleep. It required a lot of insistence from me to have him join me in bed, but once he did, I felt my body warm up. It was almost welcoming to be in his arms, I missed this. Even though I was passed out for the past few days, I still felt things missing. I also had these strange images pictured in my head; of characters I never really saw but I could imagine as if they had been described to me many times.
Ignoring it, I snuggled closer to the heat next to me and fell back asleep.
It was without a surprise that I slept awfully. I didn't really thrash in bed, but when I woke up in the morning, thanks to the nurse who was going on with my routine, I saw Bruno's face and quickly understood. He waited until the nurse left, leaving the platter on my lap with food, to speak up. "Do you want to talk about it?" he asked, his chin resting on his fist. Looking away from his face, I felt guilty. I was the one that asked to sleep with him, and I probably made it worse for him. "Not really... it'll always be the same thing, I think... I just need for it to stop hurting when I think about it. I'm sorry that you slept bad though," looking up at him, I opened the bag of plastic cutlery and smiled, "You can go home now, maybe get some sleep before coming back? I'm sure Timo missed you, I sure miss the little guy." I said off-handedly, while eating what was on the platter. Running a hand through his hair, Bruno shook his head. "Narancia's been coming and going, from the house to here. He's been taking care of Timo, and- actually he might arrive pretty soon." He said as he checked his phone, probably to check the time.
As if he had been waiting outside, there was a knock on the door and a black mop of hair peeked through. "Good morning Bruno, Alda-" he stopped, looking at the bed in shock, then at Bruno, then at me again. "Alda? Alda... Alda! You're awake!! Oh my god you're actually awake!" dropping his backpack on the ground he joined the bed in a few long strides and sat right next to me. I lifted the platter of my thighs, to avoid any accident, and handed it to Bruno with a chuckle. "Good morning to you too Narancia" I said lightly, getting tackled down soon after by the enthusiastic younger man of the room. He didn't speak right up, and I understood why when I heard sniffling right next to my ear. Rubbing his back in a reassuring manner, I waited for him to calm before pulling away with a small smile, "Are you feeling better?" I asked. Wiping his face, he huffed a laugh, grinning through his happy tears. "I should be asking you that!" he then proceeded to ask me tons of question, I had to ask Bruno help to get him off the bed to finish eating but answer nonetheless.
It's through our interaction that I understood he was the one that had talked about games and stuff while I was sleeping, which explained why I had those faceless characters in my head. He told me he tried to force Bruno out of here every day, but every day he'd use his 'mean', 'polite' voice and said he'd say but that he, Narancia, could leave and perhaps bring him, Bruno, some fresh clothes. "So, basically I'm the one you should thank, because thanks to me, you don't have a stinky man next to you." I laughed loudly at his words and gave a side-glance to Bruno, noticing how offended he was. Quickly, he chuckled and shook his head. "Well, thank you Narancia. I'm glad to see you, Bruno's been so emotionless since I woke up- it's breaking my heart really." I said dramatically, making Narancia gasp in fake-shock. With big gestures, he sat back on my bed and leaned very close to my ear, and whispered, "Don't blame him though, I'm pretty sure he used all his energy to stay awake in case you'd wake up soon."
Pulling himself off of me, he continued, "Which you did, so that's good! We should tell the other! Fugo is away on a mission with Abba, I'll text Trish right away- oh and I'll tell Mista and Giorno too!" he said excitedly. I was about to stop him, but he had already rushed off outside the room, his phone in hand. "Well, that was something. Was he that energetic every day?" I asked Bruno whom was resting the back of his head against the chair, his eyes closed. Humming, he sat back properly. "He was, yes. It was nice; I'll admit, I was a bit gloomy the first few days. He was the only thing keeping me positive, he was great company." Once more, my heart broke at his words. I probably had them all worried the entire time. I couldn't really blame myself for being in a coma, but I still felt guilty for some reason.
After a few minutes, a strong knock echoed in the room and I called out for the person to enter. My heart sped up when I saw Mista, I couldn't hide it since the machine next to me started beeping slightly faster. It made him feel bad, as he turned towards Narancia, telling him it was a bad idea, but before he could leave, I called out his name. "Wait, no, come back. Please?" His head was hanging low, he was clearly feeling bad for what happened, at least to some extent. "Could you give us a moment?" I asked to the people around me, except the gunman. Nodding, they left, mumbling things to each other before closing the door.
There was a silence. I was the one to break it by asking him to come sit by me, which he did hesitantly. Then another silence. I didn't know where to start, he probably was as lost as I was. "I can't blame you-" "Of course you can!! I shouldn't have done that- you're practically a civilian and I-" interrupting his interruption, I shook my head, "You did your job. I hated it, and I still have the images anchored in my head, and frankly? I'm probably traumatized, but at the same time, there is the logical part of me that knows it was bound to happen. It just so happened with you, and for that... I can't, I don't hate you." I took a deep breath, and finally looked up at him with a half-smile. "It might take me some time though... because when I see you, I think back on that night, you know?" I finished and waited for him to turn around and face me. At some point he had turned his face to look over his shoulder instead of looking at me, for some reason.
I waited a bit, letting him take in what I had said. Maybe I shouldn't have said that, maybe he felt bad for everything. But I didn't want to lie to him, it was how I felt. It'd take some time for sure, I don't know how long, but I was not going to let him go just because we had gone through something awful together, right? What kind of friend would I be if I decided to stop talking to him after that? "I'm sorry... thank you... I don't know if I deserve that- because it's my fault, I should have just- I don't know, maybe I should have hidden your eyes? Or done something, anything, I just- I'm so sorry!" He sputtered; his eyes red with tears threatening to fall. Without an ounce of hesitation, I pulled him close and hugged him tight. I felt cold doing so, there were images coming through my head but I was willing to go through this to comfort him.
"What's done is done, there is no way to change it. Please stop beating yourself up." I told him in a ushed tone, but it only seemed to make him cry more as he wrapped his arms around me tight. We held each other a long time, every now and then he would mutter that he's sorry, and I had stopped replying, I had said what I had to say; Now he was mostly trying his hardest to stop feeling guilty, which was hard to do.
When we both felt better, we broke the hug and looked at each other smiling sadly, but also with relief. "You look like shit, bella." He sniffled, using the palm of his hand to wiped the tears. "You don't look any better yourself, Guido" he placed a hand on his chest in faux-hurt before we both laughed it off. After that emotional moment, we asked the other to come back in started talking casually. Giorno had asked me if I was really feeling okay, I kept repeating myself since I woke up but I replied anyway, telling him that physically it was quite alright, although I hadn't seen what the wound looked like, but mentally I might be a bit off.
The Don looked rather good for a patient that had been in the hospital for more than a week, he was wrapped in a fancy bathrobe and his hair done neatly as usual. In contrast to that, I looked like shit and wouldn't be against shower any time soon. We talked about everything but that fateful night, yet it was there. The elephant in the room. We knew we would have to talk about it sooner or later, and it was a silent agreement that it'd be later. I had to recover first. And according to the nurse, I'd have to stay at least a whole more week. I suppose I'd have to busy myself a lot now, even though most of time would be spend sleeping I would still have to do things to busy my mind when awake; And to do that, I had Narancia and Bruno.
They stayed by my side all the time, at least Bruno did; Narancia was more sensible and would leave to have a life, and take care of Timo.
However, I did not stay a whole week. No. After three days, the Don was cleared and ready to go, so without anyone's approbation, he asked 'trustworthy' people to get me out of here. I was surprised when in the middle of the night I was asked to quickly get dressed, Bruno wasn't shocked one bit as if he had been waiting for that moment the entire time he was here. It had only been three days since I woke up, but I was now able to move kind of properly; My balance was not one of the best, I sometimes would trip like a baby horse trying to walk, but otherwise I got my motricity back. My mind was still foggy, and I was still exhausted, but I could walk.
That night, when I was sneaked out of the hospital, I was brought back to Bruno's house. It felt nice to have a change of air, to also feel at home somewhere. In the back of my head, I wondered how they were able to sneak me out without getting caught, but I'm sure that with enough money they could have bribed the right people.
When I entered Bruno's house, I was greeted by the overexcited Timo that ran at me, effectively tackling me to the ground with a thud. Bruno ordered him to get off of me, but I told him it was alright but he shook his head and helped be up, "You have to be careful or your wound will open again." I hummed but still petted Timo before shuffling out of the entrance and into the living room where everything was the same as before. For some reason, two weeks felt so much longer when most of it was spent passed out; I kind of lost track of time and would have expected weed to have grown everywhere, it was a very strange feeling.
It did not take me long to get used back to being in our shared bed; When I checked around the house, went to my 'old' bedroom and saw that the whole Yesterday had made was still not fixed. It made me chuckle a bit, smile even. Then I turned around and saw the ball dress was hanging on the closet, beautiful as ever. My heart clenched at the sight, it was immaculate, as if it hadn't been soaked in blood. Getting closer, I grasped it gently and brushed my fingers over where the blood should have been, it was strange. The entire situation was strange. It was like the end of something, I went through so much to get to them... Vendetta Rossa... and I don't know how I felt with their end. It was very odd.
"Are you alright, cara?" I was startled upon hearing Bruno's voice by the door, and let go of the fabric, turning around to look at him. In panic, I played it off once more, "Passione has great dry cleaner, it looks almost new." I kind of hated how little convincing it sounded. With a sigh, Bruno approached me and pressed a kiss on my forehead. "We can get rid of it, if it brings too much bad memories." He whispered, taking the hanger and placing the dress on his arm. I quickly grabbed it and hung it back, shaking my head. "No, no. I'm good, I think? I- I want to keep it, sure I killed someone in that dress- but I also- we, we had our dance there, at the ball. It was nice! It throws me back to our tango lessons, only to then be told that your sneaky ass just wanted to get my ass, and that I clearly put too much effort in that for nothing." It made him laugh out loud before he grabbed me by the hand and pulled us towards the bed to sit.
"Every day, it'd tell myself to stop this, us. Or at least, before you confessed... I felt like it was all too risky, but every day, every day you'd make it worth it and I'd fall in deep more, and more. Those dance lessons were everything to me, I could hold you and touch you like you were already mine." Hearing him say those words only made my heart beat faster; I knew I was a goner since the beginning, but I never thought he felt that was for so long, so strongly. "It was risky though, you were right... but I think it'll be worth it," I heard him made a confused noise and I quickly continued, "I mean, it is worth it- because I'm with you and I love you- but I also... I also went through a few things, so right now I feel like shit even if you're there... I'm just so tired, and I want to cry all the time." This time, I could barely speak. My voice was barely a whisper, I took a deep shaky breath and chuckled nervously. I didn't know how he'd take this; I did not want to make him feel bad but right now I don't think he could do anything more than stay by my side, which I was grateful for.
Huffing a short laugh, he nodded and brought be closer. "I know. But you're strong, and you'll get through this." He paused before continuing, "Giorno said he had found someone, and that she seemed nice." I scoffed and pulled back, running a hand over my face, I felt my throat tighten. "Is he mad? I'm so fucking useless to Passione right now, I was supposed to be his emissary or something and now I'm just- ha a plant- I'm, I'm so fucking useless, I knew I couldn't-" Bruno covered my mouth and told me to just calm down before removing his hand from my mouth, "He is not mad, he understands. We've all been through this, we all understand, cara. No one hates you and no one finds you weak, if anything you're the only one of us who's actually trying to cope with... the trauma." He explained before embracing me.
I did not think his words would hit so hard; it wasn't bad, if anything it was relieving to be told those words. My logical mind knew they wouldn't hate me, but my insecure part had taken the control a while ago and I was simply losing it. "You'll come through, take your time to get better. Just know that I'm here for you, and that I'd never be angry with you for feeling how you're feeling, understood?" I nodded against his chest before pulling back and kissing him tenderly. It was different than before, it wasn't filled with discovery, it was intimate. We had been intimate before, but this time I felt it stronger. I felt so close to him. Breaking the kiss, I laughed. A short laugh, a low laugh. "Understood, capo." I felt the rumble of his laugh through his chest as he let himself fall back on the bed, taking me with him. "I've missed you Alda, I missed you so much. Thank you for coming back." He breathed before kissing me passionately.
I had missed him too, and now we could get better together. It was the beginning of a new chapter in our life together. I did not like how the previous chapter ended, but I'm sure it'd get better the further we'd write our story together.
Months later
"Yep, I already went earlier, she said I was doing great!" "Yes, but are you sure you're ready?" "Yes, I am sure Giorno, it's been months since it happened. I'm really feeling a lot better, I think I'm ready to come back." I explained over the phone while making lunch, Bruno was standing next to me, hiding his smile behind his cup of coffee. There was a pause on the phone, and I glanced at Bruno with a worried face, his expression turned into panic when he put his cup down and rushed to my side, whispering I had to pay attention. I laughed and let him handle the cooking, hoping he would be able to save the meal. I mouthed 'sorry, you do it.' Then went to sit on the counter. "I suppose, I could let you come back and see how you're doing this week; From there we'll see if your therapist thinks it's a good idea to let you come back, does that sound good?" I could hear the smile on his face as he spoke, it had been a while since I had seen him, due to his Don responsibilities and what not but it was nice to hear from both of them again.
I had not stopped talking to them by text, and I was even able to facetime Mista and Trish when they were free but for the rest of the team it was so hard. I already spent so many weeks alone when Bruno would have to go on a mission that now it was just normal to not see anyone, although sad. When I'd feel too lonely, I'd wander back to the city and I'd visit Benito. I even invited him over many times, he argued he had to make sure my lover was treating me good. And he was, he really was.
"It sounds perfect, could you tell Mista hi from me? I'll see you tomorrow Don Giovanna." I said his name playfully, knowing full well he hated it then hung up before jumping off the counter. "Guess who's coming back baby? It's me! Back to the grinding." The way I said it made my lover laugh as he slid the pan off the stove and faced me with a grin. I could never get enough of the sight of him in an apron, and he knew it, he purposely rolled his sleeves in those situations to flex. "Does that mean, we'll finally be able to go on mission together? And share a hotel room? And fuck in a hotel room? Those are excellent news!" I choked on my saliva at what he said, hitting his chest without much strength. Although he was making it sound playful, he definitely meant it. "Just because of that, I'll ask to go on mission with someone else-" "Oh no you're not, if we ever have a mission together, you are not running away from me bambina." He then pulled me closer, his hands on my ass, and kissed me longingly.
When we broke the kiss, he looked down at me with warmth in his eyes. "I'm glad you're feeling better, I missed spending time with you. Now that you're coming back, hopefully we'll see more of each other, my love." I chuckled and nodded, telling me that I felt the same way. We both knew it was going to be hard, and we were willing to go through the distance when it came to it, and just call each other. Yes, sometimes there would be days without any news from him, but it only made the reunion better. But now, even when he was there, I longed for him. I never had enough of him.
"Well, I suppose we should eat now before going to the city. I know there are a few things we need to buy and I really want to use them tonight, if that's good with you?" He inquired gently, I agreed. We had planned on going to the city when Vendetta Rossa was over but after that, the mood was never really there. And once it was back, time was against us. Today was the first day I was feeling great and I had Bruno by my side.
Sure, I still dreamt of that night, sometimes. And I'd feel awful, but it almost entirely gone. Talking about it with a professional helped me so much, I was finally feeling like myself again. When I thought back on it, I felt like a crab that had shed its shell to finally find a toughest one, more adequate. "I think we deserve some fun, yes. Let's go." I knew from there on that the day was going to be one of the best days of my life.
A lot later, indefinite time.
As time went by, Alda and Bruno's relationship only strengthened. They never got married, but it wasn't about the discretion, everyone across Naples knew they both belonged to one another. Alda became infamous and was known as 'The Emissary', no one ever knew how she'd do it but she was able to make the strongest of people, fold. They would go her way, and she was able to strike hard deals, some people tried to play her and play to her weaknesses, those being her lover and her lack of physical strength, but The Emissary was never alone. Even if she seemed to be alone, someone would always come out of the dark to help her out and the person who'd dare try to take her down would be left slashed across their chest.
When it happened, they would still be alive. She wasn't known to be a killer; she was known to have mercy and yet be ruthless at the same time. They saw her as a force to be reckoned with, even though they knew all she had as a weapon was her words and her mind. But that's what scared them, how her mind worked, how she could read them, their words and their actions.
Some believed she could read mind, no one ever said otherwise, but those close to her knew she had no such ability. She was just observant, but it did not matter to the stupid people in power, they were afraid of the littlest thing.
While the Emissary was always accompanied on her missions, she would only talk one-on-one with the concerned individual. It gave people fake assurance, they thought they could threaten her, intimidate her, but they could have never been more wrong. She was no more the scared, innocent, naïve little girl that fell in love with a mafioso and got sucked into this dark, dark, world.
She grew, she overcame, she was known to her entourage as a loveable, funny, serious in time, person. She was known to strangers as the Capo's girl, and Benito's kind daughter.
She was known to the enemy as the merciful, ruthless, Emissary.
They would underestimate her, because they would only see a woman in front of them. A woman that had such a gentle aura, that they couldn't believe she would hurt them but that was her strength. Being underestimated gave her the advantage of surprise. And that was their biggest mistake, underestimating a powerful woman.
See, I could tell you this is the story of a girl falling in love with a dangerous man. But it's actually the story of a girl letting herself be vulnerable to come out of it stronger, and perhaps change a little. But change is not always bad, more often it's the greatest feeling and it helps us overcome the biggest obstacle.
THE END