billie
i wake up and roll over, falling off my bed making a loud thud. i groan as i get up and fall back in my bed wrapped in my comfy ass blanket. i woke up a few hours ago and cried because i guess the whole maddie thing had just finally hit me but i went back to sleep after that. i just don't wanna think about it. i didn't want to get up today. at all. i stay in my bed and close my eyes, hoping i'll be asleep soon. when i start to doze off there's a knock on my door and i force my eyes open.
billie: come in
silence. soft footsteps. my bed dips and i look up, facing the one and only. her eyebrows immediately furrow when she sees my eyes
madison: did i make you cry?
billie: huh?
madison: you're eyes are red
billie: i'm just tired
madison: i've seen you when you were tired and i've seen you after you cry. there's a difference.
billie: what do you want madison?
madison: to apologise.
i sit up and lean my head against the headboard.
billie: thanks but no thanks
madison: bil sometimes you can be really fucking stupid you know that?
billie: ouch
i grab my chest dramatically and she groans as i laugh at myself.
billie: okay so what do you want? a hug? a kiss? to fuck me one last time before you go suck isaac's dick? what do you want from me?
madison: i want to be good with you.
billie: come here
she takes her shoes off and crawls toward me. i pull her into my arms and she rests her head on my boob.
billie: i didn't mean what i said
madison: about what?
billie: last night. how you two should get together. i didn't mean it. at the time i didn't care but when i got home it was the end of me. and i'm sorry.
madison: no. don't switch this up. i'm meant to be sorry.
billie: yeah and i get that. but let me just say sorry first.
madison: well now i'm sorry. i shouldn't have done it. i was so stupid and wasn't thinking at the time.
all of a sudden something had changed in my mind. my mood was suddenly cold.
billie: make it up to me
madison: what?
billie: i don't forgive you.
madison: why not?
billie: cause you said it yourself. you're stupid
madison: bil please
billie: beg
i need to stop. but something told me not to
madison: i'm not gonna beg
billie: then i don't forgive you.
i pull her on me so she straddles my waist and begin to grind from underneath her
madison: billie-
billie: kiss me
i smash my lips into hers and force my tongue into her mouth. she pulls back and tries to get off me but i grab her waist and pull her closer
madison: billie i can't
billie: why not
i pick her up and flip us over so she's lying on the bed and i'm on top of her.
madison: bil
billie: maddie be my girlfriend
madison: fuck it's happening the same way
billie: what?
madison: i'm with isaac. he asked me the same way you're asking me. except this time i'm saying no. i'm sorry.
billie: is this what you wanted? to use me for a good fuck then go with some guy? are you trying to destroy me? cause it's working maddie. and i don't like it.
madison: let's talk about it.
billie: i don't wanna talk about it.
madison: billie get off me!
she pushes me off her and gets off the bed.
madison: i'm with isaac and you're just gonna have to accept that. get used to it
madison
she stares at me and i furrow my eyebrows
madison: what
billie: you're so fucking sexy
she licks her lips and i roll my eyes and head for the door but she pulls me back.
billie: okay okay. i'm sorry.
she walks us backwards until we both fall on the bed. she sits up and leans on her headboard and i relax in her arms as she plays with my hair.
don't you know i'm no good for you?
i've learned to lose you, can't afford to
tore my shirt to stop you bleeding
but nothing ever stops you leaving
i knew exactly what she is trying to do. when she first sang this song to me she promised never to sing the last line because it was something she would never do.
billie: you know, the day we went to the park and watched the sunset, when you looked at me and asked 'why are you changing' and i told you i don't know yet. in my head i told you. and i had an urge to tell you, but something told me to wait a while. so i didn't ask. for that i'm sorry.
don't you know too much already?
i'll only hurt you if you let me
call me friend but keep me closer
and i'll call you when the party's over
i hear her sniff and let my own tears fall down my face.
billie: a few days later, halloween came around. i planned to ask you that day but i was threatened, that left me no choice. you lost your bestfriend and i lost another chance to ask. i know you hate me for that day and you'll never be able to forgive me. for that i'm sorry. i held you and you said 'billie i'm scared'..
madison: and you said 'don't be scared. hold my hand i'll keep you safe'
billie & madison: it's just you and me babe
billie: last night, i was in bed and i woke up and just thought it was time. i went downstairs and finneas told me you were at home. it was 2am and i went over. i was gonna call your name but i heard that familiar moan. your moans. i said a bunch of shit i didn't mean and went home.
but nothing is better sometimes
once we've both said our goodbyes
i turn around and pull her into a kiss, basically begging her not to sing the rest. i pull back and we leave our foreheads touching. she completely breaks down and falls into my arms. she tried to form a sentence but i wouldn't let her, pulling her closer to me. silence. we were in silence. she traced my shirt while taking deep breaths and i just silently cried.
billie: i lost my chance because i was too slow. for that i'm sorry.
let's just let it go
i look at her, giving her a 'don't do it' look. she looks me right in the eye and lets tears fall from hers.
billie: let me let you go.
i wipe my tears away and get off the bed, leaving her room while she follows behind me. everyone was downstairs. i walk up to isaac and he looks at me worriedly
isaac: you alright?
madison: let's go home
billie
he nods and gets up from his seat, grabbing his phone and keys. she says bye to everyone and turns to me. i just stood there looking at her with a blank expression. i walk up to isaac and put my arm out. we do our handshake and i smile softly.
billie: take care of her
isaac: i will
billie: you got me bro?
isaac: i got you.
he smiles and elijah pulls me into a hug.
elijah: i'll see you soon okay?
i hug him back tightly, crying quietly into his shirt. he leans down to my ear
elijah: please don't cry, you'll make me cry.
i pull away from the hug and look him in the eyes.
billie: sorry
elijah: don't be.
he smiles and they leave. they were gone. i fall onto my knees and begin to cry. finneas slides beside me and hugs me.
billie: it hurts it fucking hurts make it stop..
finneas was crying with me but he was controlling his breathing and everything.
billie: i fucked up man
finneas: what did you do bil? tell me what you did
billie: i- fuck bro
finneas grabs my hand and puts it on his chest.
finneas: feel my heart beat alright? follow my breathing. deep breaths.
once i calmed down i just sat there, staring at the floor.
billie: i let her go
finneas: i'm sorry
the rest of the day we did nothing at all. i stayed in bed and cried. emotionless was all i felt.
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tenks 🥰
1441 words