My gut twisted as I pushed open the door and entered Felix's office. It was dark. Triggered by my motion, the lights flipped on immediately. That must have meant he wasn't here.
I sighed in relief. Maybe I could set the tray down and make a run for it.
No.
I had to be brave.
As I rested the tray next to his keyboard, I noticed a single picture propped up against an empty coffee cup. It was the only other "decoration" besides the candle.
Curiosity.
Leaning over, I squinted, attempting to focus my eyes. It was too small to see. My hands reached down, ceasing just before my fingers met the picture's jagged and curling edges. I shouldn't touch his stuff, I reminded myself. But I was too weak-willed to resist.
Holding it in hand, I stared down at a little boy with golden blonde hair in the lap of who I assumed was his mother. The boy offered a toothless smile, as his thin arms dangled around his mother's neck. She was a beautiful woman with her rolling blonde curls and fair skin. Both of their eyes were contaminated with that unearthly blue color, except it wasn't creepy as I had first thought when meeting Felix. It was...divine. If I were to somehow enter this picture, no doubt I'd feel I was in the presence of royalty.
I sighed. Despite the happiness portrayed, I felt sad knowing that both the little boy and the mother were ghosts...both dead in a sense. From what I'd heard of the Agreste family, Felix's mom had mysteriously passed away six years ago when he was only thirteen. Their family was never the same, or so I'd been told.
"You can't be left alone, I see," I heard Felix's voice say with hints of sarcasm.
As my head jolted towards him, I was welcomed by his usual scowl. Panic set in. I had been caught red-handed.
"I'm sorry!" I exclaimed, my jittering hands placed the picture back against the cup. I rushed out from his desk and now stood in the exact middle of his office.
He looked unamused.
Fixating my focus to my feet, I said, "anyway, I got lunch. For you. From the cafeteria, I mean. Natalie said you'd be in meetings, so I assumed you wouldn't have to time eat. I didn't know what you would want, so I got a little bit of everything."
I paused, waiting for his response. He brushed past me, our shoulders barely grazing each other, as he headed over to the coffee machine.
"I hope that's okay. That-you know-umm...you know. That you're hungry. I mean, I hope you are. Because I was."
The longer I fumbled, the worse it got. I didn't even know what I was trying to say anymore. I was just filling the awkwardness. After another long pause, I continued:
"So...umm...it's a nice cafeteria...so many choices. It was nice. Very nice. Kinda like your office. Very simplistic. But that's not a bad thing! It suits you. Not that you're a simple guy or anything...just that-"
"Stop," Felix said.
My lips froze mid-sentence.
He moved over to his desk, with a fresh coffee in hand. After placing his computer back on the docking station, he logged in and began typing.
"Move these plates away from my desk," he said, his gaze on his monitors.
"You don't want it?"
"No."
"I can find some containers to store this in so you can eat it later. If you would like."
"Don't."
I was about to grunt in frustration before I caught myself and turned it into a hard swallow. I needed to maintain my composure even if my efforts were in vain.
I mean, what was I expecting? For him to actually say, 'thank you'? My hopes for him were too high. Still, I at least thought he'd eat it. Why wouldn't he? Shouldn't he be starving? Unless...of course...why hadn't I thought if before: he must have believed I tampered with it.
"I didn't spit in it! If that's what you're worried about," I exclaimed, regretting the words as they left my mouth.
The typing ceased, as he peered over at me with a curious look, a single brow raised. His persistent gaze made me feel the need to justify myself:
"I hope you know, that I would never ever in a million years spit in anything I give to you. Never! I don't even know why I said that. I wasn't even thinking about it."
"Floydian slips are rather unfortunate, aren't they?" he said.
"Floydian, what?"
"Look it up," he paused, "now move these trays over to the counter. I'll handle it from there."
I forced myself to swallow my embarrassing slip up and continue on as if nothing happened. That's the only way I could keep my cool. Be calm and mature. Like a business woman. As far as I was concerned, nothing happened.
As I hobbled over to his desk - about to grab the tray - I stared at him. He didn't seem to care or notice. Admittedly, I liked this...standing up, looking down on him. Being in a higher position somehow made me feel more powerful. A small sliver of confidence returned to me.
"What does 'handle it' mean? Are you going to throw all the food away?"
"I don't believe in being wasteful. Now. Ms. Dupain-Cheng. If you would listen to me. Please."
He shot me a hard look. I nodded, balancing the tray in my palms as I journeyed across the office. I snuck a backward glance, to discover that he was staring at me...watching me as I walked.
I suddenly became self-conscious. Where were his eyes looking? Did he notice my unfortunate lack of womanly curves? Is that what he was thinking? How unappealing I was to look at? Then why was he even looking at me?
Just ignore him, I told myself. Easier said than done. Everything in me wanted to fight back at the things I thought he was thinking.
Stop thinking about it. Stop.
The tray wobbled, as I attempted to steady it against my uneven pace. Almost there.
"You changed your skirt," he said, matter-of-factly.
Wait. So, did that mean he was actually looking at my-
My left ankle suddenly weakened, and before I could finish my thought, I tripped. I caught myself, but the momentum had flung the tray out of my hands. Like slow motion, I watched it slide from my grip, as each plate crashed onto the ground and shattered. The puddle of food looked like vomit amidst the shards.
I was first filled with disbelief...then SO much dread! More than anything in the world, I wanted to turn back time and reset this moment. Darn it. I should have brought the Snake Miraculous. How could this have happened? My heart palpitated, as I gasped. No doubt I would be fired! One stupid little mistake would cost me my entire future.
When I dared to look at Felix, I felt confused. For the first time since I'd been with him, he wore the slightest smile. His eyes seemed to laugh at me. Was this funny to him? It was humiliating for me.
Unsure what to do, I lunged towards the mess and began quickly picking up broken plate pieces with my bare hands.
"This is pitiful," his voice spoke with the slightest chuckle.
Tears pricked the back of my eyes, threatening to trickle out. No! If I cried, his opinion of me would sink further. I swallowed, my throat feeling swollen.
"Ms. Dupain-Cheng," he said, rising from his chair and heading towards me. Soon, his feet were before me. But I was scared the tears would flow if I looked at him.
"Stand up."
"I need to clean this up," I managed to say.
"You're going to hurt yourself. I'll call the cleaning people to have this safely dealt with."
I nodded slowly, my face burning hot.
"Come on," he said, holding out his hand.
Was Felix actually being a gentleman or was this a trick? Maybe he was helping me up so he could "let me go" in a less pitiful position. Then he would say the dreaded four-letter F-word: FIRE. I was about to be fired! I just knew it! If I remained on the floor, would it delay my inevaible departure?
I hesitantly reach my hand towards his. He grasped it loosely. It was cold, thick, and more than anything, painful! I felt a liquid oozing between our skin. What was that?
After helping me to my feet, I peeled my hand away only to discover rivers of blood flowing from my fingers, into my palms, and down my arms.
Was this all my blood?
Felix's hand was soaked in blood too. He studied it for a moment before returning his eyes upon me. There was no humor in his look anymore.
"What did I tell you?" he said.
He guided me by the shoulder over to the sink. Reaching past my arm, he turned on the facet.
"There," he said, gesturing with his head.
I froze.
"Well, I'm not going to do it for you."
"Oh, right." I said, placing my hand under the warm current. It stung as the water entered my wounds. The blood washed down the drain.
All the while, Felix stood beside me, his hand still coated with my blood. It was surprising to me that he was letting me wash off first. Wouldn't he be more eager? I could afford to wait longer than him...after all, it was my blood.
"Your turn," I said, stepping aside.
After washing up, he pulled some bandaids from a drawer and rested them on the counter.
"Use as many as you need," he said, before heading back to his computer.
"Thank you so much, Felix!"
No reply.
I examined my hands, attempting to find the source of the blood. Sure enough, there were two cuts - one on my index finger and the other on my middle. Strange thing, I didn't even notice the pain when I picking up the pieces.
After dressing my wounds, I awkwardly loomed near the counter unsure what to do or say. Felix was already back to work. I was shocked! After all my clumsiness, he never attempted to fire me. Maybe I was missing something. Was it obvious that I was supposed to leave forever?
"Felix?"
"Yes."
"Am I fir...should I still come back tomorrow?"
"Unfortunately."
"So, to confirm, I still have a job?" I said, perking up.
"For now."
I sighed in relief, my hand resting on my stomach.
"Will you be ready in thirty minutes?" he asked.
"Of course! Wait. What's happening in thirty minutes?"
"Your first meeting."
"Really!"
"Don't sound too excited. It will be quite mind-numbing. Your job will take notes for me."
"I can do that!"
"We'll see about that," he muttered, as he stood from his desk.
He strode towards the door with his briefcase.
"Well, are you coming?" He said impatiently, glancing at his watch.