This chapter is very, very long - almost 10,000 words lol, enjoy.
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William's P.O.V
While Damon and I follow behind Mekhi and Liam, I keep my eyes on Liam, tracking him as best as I can in search of some fault or irregularity that would give away all that had happened in that back room.
For brief moments, thoughts of guilt and remorse slipped in, but I set them to flame just as quickly as they appeared. I wouldn't let myself feel ashamed, and I certainly wasn't going to entertain even a sliver of guilt, not now or even again.
"No one is looking at us," Damon assures me making my eyes shift to him. We were back to keeping an appropriate yet painful distance between us since we were back in the open, but Damon made sure to keep himself in step with me so that we were as close as possible. "Stop worrying, everything is going to be fine."
Releasing a breath, I nod and offer him a weak smile formed from my gratitude, it grows wider by the second as he sends continuous waves of comfort through our bond. It was like calming waters that lapped over my worries, taking them out to sea and away from me as it settled over me the same way Damon's familiar hands would.
"Thanks," I say, curling my fingers into themselves to stop myself from reaching for him.
We were so close to being done with this night and I didn't want to risk anything going wrong by making one bad move at the wrong time. What we'd done with Liam was already risky enough as it was, but Damon was right, no eyes lingered on us any longer than it had before and Liam walked with the same confident stride as always.
Things were fine.
"Shit," Mekhi curses.
Or not.
"What is it?" I ask as we all come to a stop when he does. A groan leaves Damon as he looks ahead in the direction of the ballroom, same as Mekhi and Liam, but I couldn't see over all their tall figures to get even a glimpse of the incoming problem.
"Your mother," Damon replies coldly, "she's heading straight for us."
Panic tries to grow through the fissures of my still-present anger like a troublesome, persistent weed, but I pluck them from me before it gets the chance to sprout. There was no need to panic seeing as it was impossible for Mother to know what had just happened by our hands, so there was no fault she could possibly have with me. And even if she did have something to blame me for, there was really nothing I cared to do to change that at this point.
There was always a fault to be found with her anyway.
Mekhi steps to the side allowing me a view of my fast approaching mother, despite the black cast holding her arm steady, she moved in an elegant stride that gave her far more purpose than she truly deserved.
I try to muster up the appropriate smile for her but fall short with the anger bubbling inside of me. It was still simmering just beneath the surface after our confrontation with Liam and seeing mother now just reminded me of how little she'd cared for me during the time I'd needed a mother the most.
She hadn't cared about me at all. Even with all my pain and suffering, she was still so cruel.
"Couldn't you just hide it, William, now look what you've made happen." Mother once cried while clenching my hand in the hospital.
I'd thought... that when she'd first strode into the small, sterile room and taken my hand in both of hers, that it was meant to be a loving touch, a comforting gesture... something so rare for mother that my heart had shattered under the weight of hope that had settled inside of my wounded body.
Four broken ribs, a fractured ankle, dislocations in both arms and my eyes... those marked the most severe injuries to my body. I'd met nothing but darkness the first time I grew conscious again, darkness and so much pain that never simmered, no matter what they gave me.
None of the medication could ever quell the pain that rested deep inside of me, the most agonising of them all.
The darkness was proving itself to be a permanent thing now. The open cuts and scrapes to my skin from the alleyway and the bruises I was sure were purple and green by now, felt like a numb throb in comparison to the rest.
I'd thought that when mother had seen me, heard my story given in the broken rasp, the only sound I could manage through my bruised windpipes, that she cared.
I thought that when she took my hand in hers so fiercely that the tears she'd let fall were for me, not just for show, not just for the nurses nearby, or any person who lingered to close by.
I thought that she was crying for me.
"Your father is enraged and no matter what we've said to the Haynes, they refuse to listen to us," she'd carried on with another heavy sob, "because you couldn't just behave. All I've ever asked of you was to behave, and you couldn't even do that."
She'd continued to cry. Hard and long like I'd never heard her cry before, even when she'd done it for pretences. I'd realised then that that was the first time I'd ever heard my mother cry, truly, honestly cry, with tears sprung from emotions that weren't fraudulent or an act.
It was the first time I'd heard it and it wasn't even for me, it was for the perfectly crafted life she felt slipping through her fingers at that moment.
And in my hospital bed, behind the many layers of gauze covering my eyes and through the neverending darkness I'd thought would be eternal... I cried with her.
Cried for the mother I wished I had and the fickle hope that I'd had her, even just for once.
The hope that had drifted away the moment she'd spoken.
"There you all are!" Mother greets us with a gracious smile that was mostly directed towards Liam. "Dinner's to start soon but we couldn't find you boys anywhere. I was beginning to suspect you'd snuck off somewhere."
She said it so hopefully, as if she wished things had returned to the times when Liam and I would hide away from everyone else for a single moment between the two of us.
I once thought those fleeting moments so beautiful, precious, but now as I looked back on them, I couldn't understand how I'd ever thought them to be pure.
Now they all just seemed so wrong, so very wrong...
"We were just catching up with one another," Mekhi answers without fault, quick to act as always.
"Yes, Liam mentioned that," Mother agrees looking from Mekhi to me, "I trust that you boys had fun."
"Oh, we had the best time," Damon confirms with the brightest smile he'd shared with anyone for the night, "right Liam?"
Liam nods his head in agreement, sparing a smile for Mekhi and Damon, "it was as if we only parted yesterday."
Mother's tense figure relaxes just a little at that as she stretches her smile to match Liam's, she seemed almost giddy at the news. "That's good to hear, I'm happy that you all had the opportunity to catch up. But it's time for dinner now."
"We were just on our way back," Liam says as he steps around mother, making the first move to put an end to this conversation.
"You boys go ahead," Mother says as she watches Mekhi move forward with Liam, Damon stays close to me as we try to do the same, "William, a word."
Damon stops the moment I do, not letting any space be put between us as Mother looks up at him with a placating smile, "just William," she adds for good measure but Damon doesn't move.
"Didn't you say dinner was to start now mother?" I question gently, "perhaps we can table this conversation until dinner is done, we don't want to keep anyone waiting."
"I'm sure a few minutes more won't be a problem," Mother replies unwaveringly, her smile still gentle and soft... familiar in the worst possible way.
Mother approaches my bed with her hand full of materials I couldn't make out.
In truth, I wasn't in any way sure it was actually mother approaching me, I couldn't see much beyond the moving swirl of colours that suggested a figure was present. The only reason I was almost positive it was Mother was because she was the only person who came into my room without anyone else being present.
"How are you feeling today sweetheart?" Mother asks as she sets down whatever she was holding onto my nightstand before propping herself down on the edge of my bed.
"Tired," I whisper, it was the answer I usually gave since it was the one that got her to leave the fastest.
Mother had taken on the role of caretaker since I'd returned home and had taken the task on with enthusiasm. It was all but common knowledge within our social circle that I'd been involved in a 'bad accident', one that had taken my sight from me and left me mostly bedridden as I healed.
It seemed that mother had convinced herself that by being more involved in my recovery than she would like to, it would win her brownie points amongst her remaining friends, and seeing as she'd been doing it for weeks now without fault, I assumed that it was working.
"Then I won't keep you for too long," Mother says as she leans forward to take up whatever she'd set down, "I've gotten a few contacts of eye specialists, and I thought it'd be good to go through them now."
"But the doctor said-"
"That doctor is no longer our doctor, we'll get you a better one," Mother says, cutting me off swiftly, "we'll fix you."
"Fix me?"
"I've got other types of specialists with me," Mother replies thoughtlessly, "some that your father handpicked."
Looking up at Damon, I give him a nod, but he only frowns deeply at me, clearly not wanting to take a step away from my side, "I'll see you guys inside, just wait for me nearby."
When Damon tries to argue I shake my head.
I knew he and Theo had promised to stay with me for the entire night, but right now, doing that would cause more trouble than we needed. Plus, I knew he wouldn't go too far away, he'd stay somewhere close where he could hear everything in the case that mother tried to do something.
Though, I honestly didn't expect Mother to pull anything now. It would be far too costly for her to do something foolish when this whole night was almost over, so I wasn't too worried about that. But in the case that she did, then I knew I wouldn't be hurt with my loyal mate close by.
My chest warms at the thought and I hold onto the feeling with everything I had, just the thought of Damon made me feel so much stronger, so much safer.
I'd be okay without him right by my side, because I knew I always had him with me. He was a part of me now, even without the completed bond or mark to show it, there were parts of him ingrained so deeply into me that we could never truly be apart.
At least that's how I felt, and knowing that was all I needed to face mother on my own.
Reluctantly, Damon steps around mother and follows after Mekhi and Liam, but not without sending mother an open glare that seemed to be the best thing he could manage as a silent threat that didn't involve his canines.
"Damon is quite..." Mother starts when she deems that he's far enough away to not hear her.
"Special," I answer and she nods, taking the word to mean the complete opposite of what I meant it to be. "What is it that you wanted to speak to me about Mother?"
"Ah yes," Mother replies as she looks back to me. Taking a step forward, she brings herself closer to me and drops her voice to a soft whisper, "can I expect you to behave in a proper fashion when it comes time for you to say a few words, William?"
"Haven't I been doing so all night so far?" I ask feigning confusion.
"Yes, you have," Mother replies slowly as if she was rolling something distasteful across her tongue, "that is why I worry."
In another situation, I'd laugh, but laughing seemed like an exhausting thing now as I looked at my mother. My mother who always found fault even when there was none.
When I opposed her and father, when I tried to build my own future and fight for what was right, what was the truth, I was an embarrassment. A disgrace and a failure as a son, a bigger regret than what she quietly thought me to be.
And when I was obedient, when I did everything I was expected to, when I behaved in all the ways she dreamed I would - which included being civil with a boy she knew I detested with my whole being - I worried her, because that in itself was wrong to her, the fact that I could behave in a manner that would please her.
I truly could do nothing right in her eyes.
"Alright then," I say with a soft sigh, "what is it that you would like me to do Mother? If it is within my abilities, I will do it."
She stares at me, apparently not taking to the flat words or disinterest in my posture. Her darker eyes narrow while she studies me with obvious suspicion, her gaze on me like a scalpel to the skin.
"You think me foolish," She says after a moment.
I don't reply, she never was a fan of the truth.
She lets a few seconds of silence pass before she continues, "you think I don't know my own child."
I hesitate with my response, and then I take a moment of my own to study her.
She looked the same as she always had to me. A performer giving her act everything she had, the mask she wore carefully crafted to hide the evil lying inside of her. But I saw it, it appeared between the cracks of the tattered thing, and it ruined her entire show.
So she looked the same, but her words weren't.
She wasn't trying to sound loving. She wasn't feigning innocence or ignorance as she so loved to do. She seemed to be speaking truthfully now, without her usual pretences, but even so, to my ears, she still sounded like she was weaving a bed of lies with her words.
Whether or not she was being honest or concocting lies once more, it didn't matter to me. If this was to be the last time I'd speak to her alone, then I wouldn't do it playing her games.
My whole life had been carefully crafted performances, even when she was the only one in the audience. But I wouldn't do it anymore.
I wouldn't pretend for her and I would not pretend for anyone ever again.
I let my mask fall.
"Honestly speaking mother, it would come as quite a shock if you did," I say as I let out a sigh, "it would surprise me if you knew anything about me."
"Would it?" Mother asks thoughtfully, her expression passive.
"Yes, it would," I reply as I fold my arms over my chest, "you know nothing about me beyond what you want to see and what you put there to build your little fantasies. So tell me mother, in this fantasy world, do you even consider me to be your child?"
She doesn't reply.
She doesn't get angry or try to touch me. She just continues to stare at me, neither denying nor accepting my words. And within the silence, I let a chuckle escape because if I didn't laugh, I'd probably yell or the tears would finally fall.
"Whatever it is that you're scheming, rid your mind of it William," Mother says, completely dismissing everything I'd said. She spoke in a monotone, as if this topic was below her and so was I, "it may make you feel good for a moment, perhaps even a little proud of yourself. But in the end, it would be foolish to anger us, William, you can't survive without your father and me."
"I can't?" I question with a smile as my mind fills with images of Damon's family and the pack.
Mother smiles back, shaking her head, "wherever you go within this world, whatever you build on your own, we can strip it all away from you William," she says so kindly, as if her words weren't a quietly-spoken threat.
A threat that probably would've scared me in the past, but not now.
"So don't try to be brave now that you've been away from home for a few months," Mother continues, her smile growing true, "you'll only end up disappointed sweetheart."
It made sense, her words. It was how she saw me from the moment I was born. I was a commodity to her, and not a very valuable one.
To her, I was just this thing she could pull out from wherever she'd tossed me last, to use me for whatever she needed at that time. My own wants and needs were the last things on her mind. She just wanted to fill her appropriate role as a doting wife and loving mother.
And when she was done with me, when I'd served my purpose, she'd toss me back into the darkness for the monsters to have at me.
Letting out a breath, I shake my head as I look at her, one of the monsters, except she kept herself wrapped in wool.
"Do you hear yourself?" Mother just blinks at me, the question one she didn't expect, "do you hear the words coming out of your mouth? Because it's not normal Mother, its not normal to hate your own child this much."
Mother blinks again, shifting her weight over as she looks around us as if searching for someone who might overhear my truth and her lies, "don't be silly William, I love you," she says offering me a smile before she takes a step closer to mutter, "as much as one could love a child like you."
"A child like me..." I repeat slowly, my voice nothing more than a whisper now as we look one another in the eye, "a child like me who has done you know wrong?"
She scoffs and so do I, "please mother, tell me what I've done to wound you so terribly."
"What have you not done?!" She hisses harshly.
"Tell me," I reply with just as much vigour, "Tell me one thing I've done to you!"
She just glares at me. Her gaze full of nothing but hatred now, so much of it that I could feel it seeping from her like a dam about to burst, and it was all directed towards me. But still, she couldn't muster a single word.
"I've done nothing to you mother," I grind out as I hold her gaze, "you just hate me."
Mother's eyes, slits now, don't falter from my words for even a second. She doesn't correct them, fight them or explain them. She lets the truth rest in the air between us, finally spoken after all these years.
"It's time for dinner," Mother announces as she takes a step back, trying to reign herself back into the person she'd crafted herself to be. Already moving away, she slips her smile back into place as she tries to put her mask back together again, but all I saw now were all the ugliness resting beneath it.
"Mother," I call and she stops only a few steps away, "tell me one thing.
"William, no-"
"Just one," I say cutting in. She releases a heavy sigh before she gives me an impatient nod.
"You knew that it was all the truth, didn't you?" I ask, standing completely still as I look at her, "you know that I'm not the one lying, you just... you just don't care..."
She knew exactly what I was talking about. I didn't need to mention Liam's name or hint at that night for her to know exactly what I was speaking about, it was between the lines I'd carefully drawn out so that she could answer honestly, without worrying about anyone overhearing.
In my heart, I already knew the answer, but I needed to hear it from her.
Mother runs a hand over her cast, as if to soothe her own pain while she nods slowly, her eyes never leaving mine. I don't bother hiding the pain that floods me and I don't try pushing it away, I didn't have the strength to.
I nod once and she walks away, her heels clicking sharply against the polished tile until it faded to nothing.
Watching her go, I swallow the agonising disappointment that never truly went away despite all they did to me, the one I feared never would. It was like some little piece of me clung to the hope that my parents were capable of being better than what they were now, and time and time again, they showed me that they weren't.
I knew that they would never be, and yet still, this dreadful disappointment always came back to me each and every time.
I wish I could just not care, that I could turn it all off when it came to them.
I shake my head, trying to shake away the pain as I force myself to move, to follow after her and just get through this. I blink away tears in my eyes and hold my head up as I walk, I refused to shed a single tear for her, I wouldn't let myself.
When I reenter the ballroom, I find it far less empty than it had been before, all the people moving into the opposing dining room clear evidence as to why. I watch mother head in that direction, but keep myself back when my eyes catch Damon near the doorway, waiting for me as always.
He comes straight to me, and even without touching him, I could see the sadness in his gaze that made our bond heavy and my chest tighten until it burned. I shake my head once again, not wanting him to say anything that I knew would make me want to hide within his arms.
We couldn't do that now, not here. He had to stay quiet for me so we could get through this last part and then finally go home.
Once we did, then I'd let myself break, knowing he'd put me back together again.
Damon holds his tongue, knowing what I wanted - what I needed - without a single word passing between us, and side by side, we follow after the others to enter the dining room.
A.N - Just take a breath. Letting it out nice and slow. Then keep reading.
Like the main ballroom, it was decoratively expensively with lavish furnishings and expensive tapestry. The large windows running from the ceiling to the floor were clothed now in thick, creamy curtains with details too fine for me to see, but I knew they'd match those of the table cloths, carefully folded to rest on the plates set at each seat.
The large chandelier that hung above the massive table was made of glass, a piece mother had commissioned from one of her favourite artists. It had taken over three years to craft and was the piece she loved the most in the entire house, and I always shared her appreciation for its beauty.
But now, all I wished was to see it fall from its high perch so I could watch it shatter to a million little pieces.
Before each seat was a little card with a name written in perfect cursive, marking where each person was supposed to sit according to mother's carefully constructed seating plan. She often spent weeks fawning over it whenever we were set to host an event, moving and adjusting the guest in manners that would best reflect her connections and affluence.
The only details that remained the same always, was that father sat at one of the heads of the table, with no one at the opposite end. Mother and I would sit at either of his sides, and when the Haynes were in attendance, they'd fill the seats nearest to us.
I knew that despite everything, mother would keep those details the same, with Liam placed beside me.
Damon had fought against me with everything he had when I told him that I didn't want Mekhi making any changes there. It wasn't that I doubted Mekhi could replace the name on the card with his, shifting things around to better suit us, I knew full and well that he could.
The problem was that if he did, everyone would notice it, not just mother. Things would be unbalanced for all and a problem would likely surface before it even came time for the birthday toast.
Amending everyone's thoughts and conversations to suit any new seating would only cost Mekho more magic or energy than what he had been prepared to use tonight.
It was better if we just played along for this last part, and though I'd dreaded this part above all else leading up to tonight, I found that I felt strangely calm now. Maybe it was knowing that this was the last stretch and that if I just pushed through this, I'd never have to do it again.
Or maybe it was just the fact that I didn't care anymore.
So as we were met with a server who was ready to take Damon to his table, he gave me one last look that held all the words he couldn't say right now, but I still heard each and every one of them.
I knew that he would be at my side within a moment's notice if something went wrong, I knew he supported me in every way, believed in me, loved me... I heard each unspoken word.
Nodding with a little smile, I watch as Damon is lead away to his seat which was beside Mekhi who was already seated. As Damon walked behind the staff member with strong, powerful steps, I noticed many heads turning to follow after him, his presence hard to ignore, even to the people here.
Pride tips into my chest as I take a deep breath and move towards my seat.
I find Liam, already tucked into the seat beside my empty one, talking cheerfully with father who visibly soured as I sat down.
I didn't doubt that he'd have Liam and I switch places if it wouldn't be judged by all their guests, or better yet, he'd probably send me to eat at the other side of the table where he wouldn't have to see me.
Looking around briefly, I find mother trying to engage Liam's parents in a conversation, but their attention seemed to be solely placed on me. They watched me closely, as if they were waiting for me to say or do something that would cause them more trouble.
They wouldn't have to wait much longer.
I let my gaze fall over to where Damon and Mekhi were, from this distance there wasn't much I could see to them, but I knew Damon's eyes were on me and that was good enough. I offer him a small smile before I let my gaze fall to my lap where I was twisting my fingers round and round again.
How many times had I done this? How many times had I sat in this room, in this very chair, trying to keep myself from doing anything to bring attention to myself?
Always quiet, always good and respectful, always exactly what they wanted me to be.
I'd lost so much playing their stupid little games, and still... they had the audacity to hate me...
A rough chuckle escapes me as my anger builds, the sound putting a stop to the conversation father and Liam were having as they look down at me, surprised. I look up, not bothering to hide the rage building within me as I stared at my father.
God, why was I still calling them mother and father, they were anything but that to me.
"Did I say something to amuse you, William?" Richard says, his tone clipped as always.
"No," I answer honestly as I shake my head, leaning back to let the server fill my glass with champagne. I thank him before I pick it up to take a sip, "I'm just enjoying my birthday. You haven't forgotten that all of this is for me have you?"
Gulping down the bubbling liquid, I let it spread through me as I smile at Richard, knowing just how much it would enrage him, "that reminds me, I don't think you've even wished me a happy birthday today father. Why is that?"
Looking from me to Liam and his parents who were watching us quietly, Richard clears his throat and offers me the tightest smile he could muster, "I'm sure I have at some point today son, you're mistaken."
He tries to continue his conversation but I don't let him, "I'm not."
The table cloth beneath Richard's fingers pulls in at the corners as he tightens a fist around it, choking it the way he probably yearned to choke me at this moment. But he keeps his tight smile and takes in a deep breath before saying, "happy birthday William."
"Thank you," I say happily.
"Now Liam, yo-"
"Father," I interrupt again and even the chatter around the table couldn't drown out the sound of his teeth grinding together as he stared at me, "do you know how old I am today?" I raise my glass to my lips again, taking a sip from it while I watch him with curious, unwavering eyes.
Richard looks to Karen for some explanation but she didn't seem to be able to offer one up. And what would she say if she could, 'I don't know why William's not behaving properly, but when does he ever?'.
I wasn't a troublesome child, and I always thought I was a kind person, a nice one at the very least. Yeah, I could be a little rude sometimes, but that was only with people who I knew well, people who knew I didn't actually mean my words, I was only teasing.
I didn't actually think Blaze was obese, I thought he was a cute bunny and I loved him for always making Damon smile. I wasn't actually an asshole. It was just who I was.
But I didn't think Richard and Karen even knew who I was, under all their influence and stupid rules and lessons.
I didn't think they knew that I was an emotional mess who got teary-eyed in sad movies, that my favourite cuisine was Japenese, that I could be bold sometimes, that I was confident and strong. That I always went for what I wanted, that I valued honesty above anything else, and that when someone earned my trust, I'd go to the ends of the earth for them.
I didn't think they knew any of that, but hopefully, they'd see that during this last meal we'd share. Hopefully, they'd see who their child really was, before they'd never see me again.
I would make them see me.
"It's not a hard question father," I say as I circle the glass between my fingers, "do you or do you not know how old I am?"
"Of course I do," Richard says, glancing at the Haynes once more, "you're nineteen."
I smile as I shake my head, "I'm twenty today, but good guess" I tell him as I look at Karen for a moment, "I think the last time either of you got my age right, I was fifteen. Isn't that something?"
"William, g-"
"It's time for your usual toast Richard," I say cutting him off, "you don't want to keep everyone waiting."
The cups had been filled with champagne and water, but before the appetisers could be rolled out, Richard always said a few words to start the dinner off. They were scripted words, false ones of no substance but it was part of the act, so it had to be done.
I wonder how hard it'd be for him to get through them now.
Standing to his feet, Richard leaves his eyes on me until all the broken conversations in the room die down and everyone looks to him. I hold his gaze, refusing to cower as I'd done for all my life. I look him straight in his eyes and face his anger with my own.
"Firstly," Richard says loudly, letting his voice carry out to fill the large dining room, "I'd like to thank each and every one of you for joining us tonight to celebrate William's twentieth birthday with us."
He lets smiles and nonsensical words be passed around before carrying on.
"It's been a very hard year for all of us, William in particular, but we've made it through," I bite my lip to stifle a sarcastic laugh, "we've made it through as a family, and we've done so with all the support and love we've received from all of you, our closest friends.
So thank you, thank you for being here for William as he's recovered." Richard looks to me, the smile he was supposed to wear seeming harder to conjure up than usual as he studies me. "William, I am so proud of the man you've become. Each and every day your mother and I thank the Lord for blessing us with you. You've brought nothing but joy into our lives from the moment you were born, and we love you so much, son. Happy Birthday."
Cheers circle around the room as everyone raises their glass to join with Richard to say, "Happy Birthday William!" It was a chorus of good wishes and happy sounds, but it was just noise to me, noise like his words had been.
Just noise.
I say my thanks to them all, taking a sip from my already half-empty glass, and I smile but it wasn't for show, it was for what was to come.
I knew now what I'd say. I knew the exact words I'd use to tear him down with his cruel wife, to bring Liam and his twisted family down as well. I'd leave them all in the darkness they'd forced me to live in for so long.
He'd just given me the words I'd use to bring their end, and that made me smile.
The appetizers came out and I avoided all attempts at conversation from Liam's parents by filling my mouth with spoonfuls of the delicious soup each time they tried to speak to me. Karen, sensing that it would only hurt her if I spoke to them, wrangled their attention her way, with talks of future plans and events on the social calendar that would intrigue them.
I found entertainment in Liam's attempts at eating.
On the outside, there wasn't a hair out of place, but when he tried to use his right hand to pick up his spoon, he'd trembled violently, his features twisting into one of confusion as he tried to use his broken hand.
Whether it was his own sense or a push from Mekhi, he changed over to using his left hand, but his inexperience with it left him spilling quite a bit, much to his parents' shock and disapproval. His face was growing hotter the harder he tried, and the more he failed, the worse the entire situation became.
And to me, it was better than any television I'd ever watched.
"William," Richard whispers quietly to me, somewhere between the third course when there was a brief moment without eyes on either of us, "what was that foolishness earlier?"
"You forgetting my age? I would like to know too," I say innocently as I lean towards him with a perplexed expression, "what would you have done during your toast if you said the wrong number?"
"William," Richard grinds out on the edge of an explosion I recognised. If we were alone, I knew his hand would already be raised, "I don't know what's gotten into you, but you will remember yourself and stop this nonsense."
"But I have," I say honestly as I blink at him.
My words seemed to confuse him because he faltered to find a response.
"Though I suppose that's not entirely true," I abide as I look down at my tie, "if I was really being myself, this would be red and not black, because that's my favourite colour. But I wore black because I knew you'd probably call me a fairy if I didn't."
Richard mutters something under his breath but it was nothing I could pick up on, so I just carried on, "I never really understood how fairy was an insult you know," I say to him, "all those times you called me, it hurt, I'll admit because I knew what you meant by it. But when you think about it, fairies are actually quite beautiful, so how did that become an insult?"
Apparently fed up with my open rambling, Richard pulls away from me and leans back into his seat, surveying the rest of the guests instead of bothering with me. I pull myself back to my own plate, eating my food quietly while I risked a glance up to Damon.
He turned his head my way the moment he feels my eyes on him, and I tell myself that he was offering me a small, supportive smile. That he was looking on, cheering me on and that he was proud of me.
I filled in the pieces of him I couldn't see, and smiled back at what I saw.
As the wheels of the dessert carts come rolling into the room, I sit up a little straighter, my anticipation making me feel antsy in my seat. But I wasn't nervous, I wasn't scared or hesitant.
I was only anxious that time was moving too slowly, teasing me with the one thing I cared about doing tonight.
"William," Karen calls from opposite me as the dessert dishes are shared across the table, "I know you usually do you word of thanks after dessert, but if you didn't want to this year, that would be perfectly fine."
It was genuinely hard not to laugh in her face.
"It's alright mother," I answer with a pleasant smile, "I'm actually looking forward to it."
"If you're sure," She manages, her voice wavering just a little.
She was scared. Good.
"Very," I reply sweetly before I pick up my spoon and dig in to the mango sorbet.
I smile to myself as I think about how happy Damon probably was now, it was his favourite and we hadn't been to that little ice-cream store in a while.
Maybe when we got back, we could go back. But maybe this time we could take Mekhi too, and make a friends day out of it, that would be nice.
My thoughts quickly turned over as I thought about my future, the one that awaited me.
I wasn't naive enough to think that it would perfect, that it would be without its own faults and troubles. I knew there'd be problems down the line somewhere, times when Damon and I didn't see eye-to-eye, or God, times when I didn't mesh with some part of the pack's normal.
But I couldn't imagine that any of those times would be worse than what I'd been through here. It couldn't be any worse than what I'd had to put up with for the first nineteen years of my life. I'd have Damon to love me, a pack to protect me, a place to call home that really felt like one and I'd be free to be who I was, never having to play a role, never having to wear a mask for anyone.
Looking at my future, I knew it would be better than my past which I was more than ready to leave behind. I just had to close the door to it so I could open the one waiting for me.
I place my spoon down carefully once my little bowl is empty, and I stand to my feet.
As eyes pull in my direction and silence begins to make way for me, images of dinner parties just like this one flash before my eyes.
Images of the view I'd keep from the corner of a room,
images of hotel rooms I'd memorised,
images of the people I'd faked smiles for all my life.
Images of father's hand falling and mother's sharp eyes cutting.
Images and images of my life, all flashing before my eyes, as I looked out at the quiet table and all its inhabitants who were watching me. Quietly. Waiting for me to share the usual words, the appropriate words.
Images.
"Good evening everyone," I start with a smile as I turn to face the long, full table, "I hope that you've all been enjoying the night so far," lines of blurry smiles is their response, "I know my father has already said his thanks, but I'd just like to say thank you, to all of you for coming here tonight. It's been quite some time since I've been home, amongst familiar faces, and it's comforting to know that some things will never change."
Taking in a deep breath I look down at my parents, at Karen and Richard, "as you all know, this year hasn't been an easy one for me. I lost the majority of my eyesight in a terrible incident, and its been hard for the family and for me; relearning everything, adapting to this new normal for me. But if it's one thing I've learned this year, one thing I've learned to treasure through it all, it would be the power of forgiveness."
Fuck forgiveness.
"It's not always easy to forgive others. It's a lot easier said than done. But it's always been something my parents have tried to instil in me, 'the power of forgiveness'," I quote with a chuckle, "and they've shown me since I was a child, just how important it is to forgive. Mother," I raise a hand to gesture at her, "despite the numerous times father has cheated on you, you still forgive him each and every time. Even when he would leave for months to be with your sister."
Karen's mouth falls open and Richard grows pale, but I continue.
"And father, always ready to forgive mother even when she almost drove you to bankruptcy, twice, no, it was three times." I let out a breath, "you both forgive one another, no matter what you do. It's so beautiful to see, inspiring honestly."
Richard opens his mouth but no words come out. He tries to stand, tries to do something to stop me, but nothing in his body seemed to be working as he remained stuck to his seat - thank you God for Mekhi!
Whispered words of horror and shock spread around the room and I let myself revel in it for a moment, soaking in the sound of the cracking foundations of the Evans' name.
It was better than I dreamed it would be.
"But I'm working on being like you, being so forgiving," I carry on earnestly, "it's hard and we've had so many problems as a family. They've been many hardships, but things have been getting better. Since you've been working towards getting around the fact that I'm gay, we've been growing closer wouldn't you say?"
They don't reply and I smile.
"At first, the things you said, the way you berated me, I thought that I'd never be able to forgive you. But with how accepting you are now, how you support me and even invited my boyfriend to be with me this weekend, I think we're on the right track." Looking to Damon I smile widely at him, "I love you, Damon."
"I love you too!" Damon shouts back and I can't help the massive smile that escapes me along with my chuckles.
In another room perhaps, trying to work away from your homophobia for your child would be something to be celebrated. In this one, it most certainly was not.
These bigoted assholes were as homophobic as they came, and hearing that my parents accepted me, their gay son and allowed my boyfriend to stay here with me, that would definitely break many if not all their connections.
"If it were one thing I could wish for, it would be that you were as accepting of me as Mr and Mrs Haynes were for Liam," I say looking from my parents to the two beside them who were staring at me, wide-eyed and panicked. "When they found out Liam was gay they didn't hate him at all, they were supportive from day one, and they have been ever since."
The gasps that spread around the table had to be the most beautiful sound I'd ever heard in my entire life. I had to fight myself from letting out a shout of joy as each and every one of their precious friend and guests turns to look at us all with disbelief and dismay.
They were disgusted, just like I'd planned, and I was fucking loving it.
"But nobodies perfect and we all have things to work on," I say with a solemn nod of my head, "for the Haynes, I think the first step would be to stop trying to cover up the truth."
"Wi-"
I wait for Liam's father to get the words out, but just like Richard, not a single one was getting past the magic shutting them down.
"Sorry, did you want to say something?" I ask looking at him, but he slowly shakes his head. "Alright, then I'll carry on. If you could not interrupt again, I'd greatly appreciate that. After all, it is my birthday."
I sounded like a two-year-old child, trying to keep their favourite toy from being taken away. But I would be damned if anyone tried to let this moment slip away from me.
This was all for me, all mine, and I was going to wring it dry before I stopped talking.
"I know it can be hard sometimes, to accept the truth and to face it, but it's important that we do," I carry on when he doesn't butt in again, "you've all been told that I lost my eyesight in a terrible accident, one that affected me mentally and caused me to say some ridiculous things. Well, that's not the truth."
I look down to Liam who was shaking a little in his seat, what an odd yet pleasant sight.
"The truth is that Liam attacked me," I say and though the pain rose up high from the memories, I shoved it down and took a firm hold of my anger before carrying on.
It wasn't just sadness and pain that Liam had cast over my life, it was anger too and I had a lot of it just waiting to be released.
"Liam invited me out one night to have a few drinks at a gay bar," I explain for all the open ears, making sure not to leave a single word out that could be filled in with another later on, "it was one out of town because he was afraid of us being seen at a local one. We went and we were having lots of fun, at least, I thought we were... I didn't know what Liam had planned.
You see Liam Haynes is a very demented person. I honestly think something is not right with him, mentally, he's a sick person. He was angry at me, very very angry with me and he decided that he would 'teach me a lesson'," I spit the words out as I glare down at him, watching the way he kept his head down in his seat.
"So he lured me out of the club where four men waited. They all came at me at once, wearing masks so I couldn't see their faces. They beat me for what felt like hours and no matter what I said, or what I did, they wouldn't stop. Liam wouldn't let them."
I let out a shaky breath as I look up to the ceiling while I try to get my words out. I just needed to say it, just this once and I wouldn't have to say it ever again if I didn't want to.
But I didn't want to do it again, I didn't want to say it again. I just wanted to scream and shout. To let the tears fall and fall and fall... I just wanted to let it all out.
"When they were done... when I could barely breathe let alone move, Liam decide that that wasn't enough," I force out slowly, "to Liam... I hadn't suffered enough. So... he raped me."
That brought out the loudest gasps of the night, the feeling of horror spreading like wildfire as all eyes turned to Liam. I'm sure many of them didn't believe me, as none of them did when they heard the 'rumours'. But I was sure that some of them knew there was truth to it all along, a truth that was just waiting to be set free.
And wasn't it just ironic that Liam would be the one to seal it as just that, the truth.
"He raped me, while I was still bleeding on the floor," I continue, my grip on the table turning my knuckles white, "then.."
Those words don't come out.
My heart too tight now as I looked down at him through the blurred lens he'd imprinted on me.
I was looking at the one who did it and I couldn't. I just couldn't.
"Then I tried to blind him," Liam finishes for me, his words come out strained and hoarse like he was fighting against letting them out. But they were out now, and there was no putting a stop to it. "I found a site, one that told me what to mix together to blind a person. I poured that all over his face. I did it because I wanted William to suffer. I did it... I was the one who blinded him. I raped him, and then I blinded him. I did this to him."
I close my eyes. Keeping them shut while my lungs struggle to keep working, my heart beating far faster than it was supposed to.
My mind was a silent, clear thing and for a moment, everything was perfectly quiet. Painful and terrible, agonising and perfect, relief and dread all wrapped into one.
Hearing the truth, spoken from someone other than me, it was a scary, perfect feeling that felt like both chaos and tranquillity at the same time.
I couldn't tell if I was being flooded with joy or if I was on the verge of shattering completely.
"Everything Will has said is the truth," Liam carries on, "We've tried to cover it up. My parents and his, we've tried to make it seem like he was lying, but he wasn't. He's always been telling the truth about what happened that night. But even now there's no proof because we got rid of it all. But it's true, every word of it... it's true."
Quiet. Everyone was quiet.
Not a whispered word or comment, call to action or in defence. It was just quiet.
I look at my parents, and for the first time in my life, I find joy at what I find.
Richard's hands covering his mouth, his eyes the only thing I could see and they seemed so dull now, like he knew he'd just lost everything. And Karen, poor Karen. Her one working hand was over her mouth to try and muffle her cries as tears poured down her face.
There was no climbing back from this for any of them.
All their dirty deeds were out in the open and even if one was to be forgiven or covered up, there were just so many more they couldn't afford to clean up and keep hidden. Not this time.
They were ruined.
"Thank you for telling the truth Liam," I say, filling the silence when no one else dared to. Then, I pick up my glass, "now I would like to make a toast."
I catch sight of Damon and Mekhi raising their glasses but they were the only ones to do so, but that just made it perfect, "I'd like to toast to this year. This crazy, horrible and wonderful year of my life that I thought I'd never survive. There's been lots of bad, but I want to toast to all the good."
I focus my eyes on Damon, my mate, and my heart splits itself open for him, "I'd like to toast to my boyfriend, Damon. The love of my life and the person I plan to spend the rest of my life with." I look to Mekhi, "to my friend, Mekhi, who's been kind when he didn't have to and so loyal, thank you Mekhi." I blink past my tears as I let the relief slip over me, "and I'd like to toast to my new life."
A life that didn't include Liam, the Haynes, my twisted parents and everything they'd put on me for so long.
A life that had people who shared their true emotions, who loved each other so impossibly hard that it sometimes broke them.
A life that was good... it would be good.
"I'd like to make a toast to all the awaits us," I finish with a sniff as I wipe my tears away, "everything that lies away from this very horrible place that I will never come back to ever again. Cheers!"
Damon cheers loudly and I down my drink with a large smile before I push my chair back and meet him and Mekhi on the other side of the table. Pulling me into his arms, Damon smiles down widely at him and I mirror it as I lean up to kiss him despite all the eyes on us.
The tears refused to stop, made up of both joy and sadness that left me feeling so fragile. But Damon had me and I knew he'd never let me hurt again, he'd never hurt me.
So I kiss him, hold him close and I let myself love my mate unabashedly. I'd never ever keep myself from being with him the way I wanted to ever again.
I didn't care if anyone didn't like us or hated what we had, I didn't care if they'd try to tear us down or pull us apart. What we had was the best thing in my world, and no one could ever take that away from me.
"Let's go home," I whisper against his lips and he nods.
With one last glance back at the shattered household and life I was leaving behind.
I let my eyes run over my parents, let myself take in the Haynes and all these people they'd surrounded themselves with, people who would utterly be their demise.
And I let it go. I let it all go.
Intertwining my fingers with my mate's, I let him lead me out the door, and towards the life that waited for us, the one that glowed brightly with promise.
Firmly closing the door to this one forever.
------------------------
I mean, I'm crying. I'm happy, I'm happy for Will, but for some reason, I just feel sad and I'm crying.
Thoughts?????????????????
What did you guys think? Thoughts on the interaction with his mother at the beginning? Thoughts of Will not holding back before the speech with his dad?
Thoughts on his speech?!
I kind of wanted a screaming match, where Will just went crazing on everyone. But the whole purpose of this was to leave his parents for dead basically, so he had to do it in a smart way. I just love it though. I've read it over like 100 times and I hope you guys like it too.
This makes the longest chapter I've ever written, I think, at 9640 words and man it was worth staying up late.
I don't know if I this is me reaching, but some points of Will's speech, leading up to it and him acting almost recklessly before it, made me think of someone who's about to 'end it all'. Not in the suicidal sense really, but to me, it kind of hinted to him metaphorically ending the life he had been living.
I don't know if any of that makes any sense, but that's what was happening in my head while I was writing.
Anyway, vote up and comment if you guys enjoyed it!
Next chapter is the glorious chapter of Damon and Mekhi taking action, and if you thought that chapter in Rogue with Reon was gruesome, maybe don't read the next one.
Until next time,
Byeeeeeeeee Humansssssssssssss