We stood there, for what seemed like an eternity, staring at one another. I knew my breathing had gotten faster, and I had to lick my lips, my mouth was dry. I could hear the shower in the bathroom.
In moments like these, I knew he would try and push me, but not enough for me to crumble under him, as he knew I still had to be the first one to make the move in that sense.
But I did want to touch him. I wanted to run my hands over his chest, and up to his full lips.
I froze as he tipped his head down, and just briefly, he rubbed our noses together before kissing my cheek, and pulled away from how close we were together.
As I went into the shower, I had to take a minute to collect my thoughts. I didn't take very long, as I didn't wash my hair.
I wrapped the towel tightly around my chest, as I looked at myself in the steamed mirror. The knock on the door made me jump, and it was pushed open slightly.
"My boxers and trousers are in here buttons" Jimin said.
I saw them on the floor by the door, "go ahead"
He opened the door, and as he picked up his clothes, he looked over at me. I watched as his eyes took in my bare shoulders, and then my legs which were visible from mid thigh length.
I was very hot. And I knew it wasn't from just having a shower and being in this steamed bathroom.
I watched as Jimin pushed the door open even more, so I could see the bedroom behind it. He ran his tongue over his top lip, as he glanced his gaze over my lips.
Then he leant against the doorframe, the towel on his hip tugged down, showing his tight v line.
Holy fucking shit.
And in this moment, I hadn't ever felt the need to just go over to him and crash my lips against his, as much I did right now. It was like the past four and a half months hadn't happened at all. But it was baggage that was keeping from from going over to him, as I would have to step over all of them.
It was also Yoongi, I knew what I felt for him but I just hadn't gotten my mind around it yet. I also didn't want to admit it myself. Because it would made me feel like I would have no choice but to just let Jimin go.
And Yoongi is the Father of my child.
I surprised myself, how I managed to talk myself out of my desires. It was like Jimin sensed this, maybe I was showing it in my expression. But he sighed, and leant away from the doorframe.
"You have a lot more willpower than I do, buttons" he muttered.
I rose an eyebrow, "I think you underestimate yourself"
"No I don't. Because every single time I look at you, I want to just go over and kiss your perfect lips. And the only reason I don't, is because I want you to be ready. I'm not forcing my feelings onto you, when I know are still healing from what I've done" he said right back to me, not looking away from me.
I swallowed the lump in my throat.
Was I over what happened? All the ache and heartbreak he had done. I know a few major things had happened, he had told me he loves me, and he certainly had moved past the stage of where he was being very careless. But then the baby happened. My thoughts then drifted to where I know I had to text him to remind him to get back on track, from the shock of the news telling him he wasn't the Father.
But he listened to me. And I was starting to see him smile and laugh a lot more. But I had so much going on right now, and I didn't want to throw away a relationship with the Father of my daughter.
Jimin slowly walked over to me, and stayed about an arms length away from me.
"Can I ask you something though?" He breathed out.
I nodded.
"Do you still love me?" He said with such soft eyes.
I almost scoffed. It would take a lot longer than the months that had passed to get over him.
Jimin grinned at me, seeing my expression. I never had a great poker face around him, and he knew me so well.
"I know you do. But I just wanted to remind you, get it fresh in your head" he said, and this time I did scoff.
He chuckled at me.
"Dirty games" I said quietly, smiling at him.
I watched him rub a hand along his chest as he smiled, "I never said I would play fair, buttons"
A movement behind Jimin made me look past him.
Yoongi was stood in the middle of the bedroom, looking directly at me.
I knew my face dropped. And Jimin burrowed his eyebrows before turning around, and seeing the man behind him.
And I knew exactly how this looked, both of us in bath towels, and stood close to one another.
It was a moment like this why I wondered why I gave him a Bluetooth little card. And that made me realise that Jimin still had one of those cards. It hadn't ever passed my mind to ask for it back. The only other person that had a card and had done for a long time was Tae. It just seemed natural to give him one with the amount of time we spent together.
Now Yoongi had always had a great poker face. But I could see his jaw tensing a few times as he continued to look at the both of us.
"Hyung" Jimin said as a greeting, and leant back against the bathroom counter, crossing his arms.
"So I saw you've done the painting in the nursery?" Yoongi said, looking at me.
I nodded, "Jimin turned up just as I started. Then had a shower, because the paint got everywhere"
I knew I blurted that out quite quickly, and then I heard Jimin's exhale as he breathed out a smile.
"Separate showers" Jimin said, looking over to Yoongi.
I appreciated that add on of a comment from him.
A few seconds passed before Yoongi nodded. Jimin cleared his throat before going back to his pile of clothes and grabbing them, going past Yoongi, going back into the hallway.
I offered him a small smile as I came out of the bathroom, and went over to start getting changed.
Yoongi sat on the edge of my bed, looking down at the floor.
"I trust you, petal" he breathed out.
Then my heart swelled, "thank you"
I pushed away the thought on how dangerously close I was to actually throwing away the time that had passed from trying to move on from Jimin. Yoongi knew the longer I stayed away the easier it would become, but I always wondered if that was true.
We walked back into the living room, and Jimin was soaking the painting tools in the sink, cleaning them for me. Yoongi went into the nursery, and I followed him in.
"Furniture tomorrow right?" Yoongi asked.
I nodded, "yeah. Are we still going shopping for clothes tomorrow?"
"Of course. I know you've been looking forward to that" he offered a small smile at me.
I returned a grin, "I've been waiting for the furniture to arrive before going shopping. I know I have to wash her clothes first, but that won't take long"
As we went back into the living room, Jimin looked at the both of us, "I'm going to go. Later buttons, bye hyung" he muttered, offering a small smile.
We watched him leave, and then Yoongi turned to me, "so want me to put up some shelves?"
I chuckled, "go ahead"
The next day, Yoongi jumped out of bed as he heard the buzzer. I moaned, tapping at my phone. It was barely 8am.
I grumbled to myself, putting clothes on and going into the kitchen, seeing Yoongi speaking to the delivery men, as they walked through the kitchen with the furniture. Now, I didn't mind so much that I was woken up so early.
It didn't take them long, as I already knew where I wanted each piece to go. Then I watched as they set up the cot, Yoongi offered them a coffee as he made himself and a decaf one for me.
Seeing it there, against the back wall, under the wired shelf of teddy bears, they were all a mixture of pink and golden tones, I adored it. I put a hand on the bottom of my little bump, feeling her move.
I made a mental note of other things I wanted to shop for, and then this room would be done apart from her clothes.
I had bedding for her cot already ordered, a found this perfect set on a site online, and it had matching bedding for a Moses basket as well, which I would get later on in the pregnancy, and keep it beside my bed until she was in it.
The travel system that Yoongi said he would pay for, was already at his apartment ready to be brought over whenever I wanted it.
It felt like things were falling into place, and while I knew I had to work very hard over the summer break, to make sure I got enough jobs in to bulk up my money for a good year or so, I felt happier as each day went on.
We went out for breakfast, before hitting the shops. Yoongi was very helpful throughout all of it, googling things on his phone and telling me how many sleep suits I should actually pick up, and in what months.
We decided to buy up to three-six months, not a lot of outfits as I knew I would buy them once she was here, but more the vests and sleep suits.
"My arms hurt" Yoongi breathed about three hours later.
I chuckled, seeing the many bags he was holding.
"Shall we stop for lunch? I could eat. This is quite hard work" I breathed.
He gave me a smile, "sure petal"
We chose a small café, and ordered some food and drinks, and Yoongi asked what else I wanted to pick up.
"Muslin cloths. I've been reading how helpful they are with spit up, and for burping" I muttered.
He nodded, "you know we haven't started speaking about her name"
"I know. I just keep calling her baby in my head" I smiled.
I watched his gum filled smile, which made my heart jump.
"Maybe we should both make lists? And can pass on the ones we don't like. Do you want a middle name for her?" He asked.
"I like the list idea. And I don't know, I haven't thought about it. I have a middle name, but it's a family name. And honestly I'm not sure if I want to pass that down to her just because my Mom will expect it. I'm surprised she hasn't mentioned it to me yet" I breathed out, and started eating my baguette.
"What is it?" Yoongi asked.
"Colette" I replied.
"Pretty" he nodded, and took a bite of his burger.
Then that made me wonder, what about her last name? Would she have Yoongi's? I burrowed my eyebrows, having some of my Diet Coke.
"What about her surname?" I asked.
Yoongi looked over at me, "I thought of that already. Joint? So double barrel"
I rose my eyebrows, that made perfect sense.
"Sounds good" I smiled.
He flashed me another smile, giving me a wink as I went to take another bite of my baguette.
-♕-