Includes grief, helplessness, major character death and mentions of nerve loss and aphonia
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The first few days after Athanasia woke up, she was lost in a sea of shock. "Jennet died. How could she have died?" But, once the shock faded, all that she could remember was her sister's smile, which gleamed with the intensity of a thousand burning suns.
Guilt. This profound emotion blanketed Athanasia, wrapped around her neck. It clung to her so tenaciously that she thought it would remain for the rest of her life. She failed to protect Jennet, her sister, her savior. Perhaps, if she had done things differently, if she had not accepted that ribbon, then she would still be alive- grief lodged itself into her throat as she sobbed late into the night.
On the other hand, though Claude and Lucas tried to comfort her, all that they could think was, "good riddance."
With time, Athanasia joined them too. The guilt lingered but the grief vanished quickly. As a veteran of death, to the point of being desensitized, it wasn't odd for Athanasia to recover quickly. Perhaps this was her own way of covering her guilt. So, though the princess still often burst into tears, memories flashing before her eyes every time that she passed by the spots that she and Jennet loved, her heart was also elated- "I survived."
This realization was all that Athanasia needed to heal. Although she was beginning to understand that each life brought changes, this was one of the most significant yet. The first to die carries the burden of being a trigger of some sort. Athanasia had always been that trigger, dying before she could even lift a finger. She had always been defenseless, bound by fate, and this was the first time that she wasn't the first to die. Loath was she to admit it, but Jennet's death brought the princess immense joy- she thought, "finally, maybe I won't die again."
If only fate could listen.
A month or so after the incident, the young princess began to feel ill. Once in a while, her heart began to beat painfully, but she ignored every instance. Surely, it was just phantom pain from her lost mana supply- it wasn't.
When it became more frequent, Athanasia began to feel scared. That was when she approached Lucas, but he was just as perplexed. Wondering if there was something that they missed, the mage reported it to the emperor. Suddenly, the palace became vigilant to the needs of the princess.
A week later, she collapsed.
It was a simple day, a perfect one if she were to say, with a clear sky and a fine breeze. As she was taking a stroll through her Rosen maze, her heart began to thunder, tendrils of lightning spreading across her body. The pain simply kept increasing until her knees buckled, falling to ground, and Athanasia could only gasp for a breath beyond the pain that she felt. And when the pain finally peaked, she simply lost consciousness.
It took an hour for Lily to find her on the floor.
Claude and Lucas panicked. They had thought that, after Jennet's death, the cycle could finally end. They thought that she was the cause of everything, regardless of Anastacius' existence. However, with Athanasia screaming violently on her bed, they realized that they had been far too careless.
"Nothing's working!" Lucas exclaimed, slamming his hand down on the bedside table and panting by the bed. He had just completed sending massive amounts of mana into his lover, hoping to ease the ache of her crumbling body. Her heart was too fast and her nerves were becoming agitated. He had no idea what to do, and he hated the fierce helplessness that he was feeling. "No matter how much magic I have, I can't win against fate!"
"Find something!" Claude insisted, his face wrought with furious desperation, his mana leaking out of him in violent waves. Restless fists clenched and unclenched by his sides, sapphire eyes meeting Athanasia's sapphires. His heart stuttered, breaking at the look of torment on his daughter's face, so he ran away to the library. He had to find a way. There had to be a way.
But there wasn't.
No matter the amount of days, they couldn't find a cure nor even a diagnosis. After Athanasia's nerves had been injured, every sensation vanishing so suddenly, the screams had stopped, replaced by a solemn silence. All that she could do was stare up at the ceiling.
When Lucas held her hand, she could not feel it nor turn her head. She could only see him once he appeared in her vision, his eyes bloodshot. The numb and paralyzed briefly noted how they had lost their passion, their beauty. Now, there was only anguish.
Maybe, that itself was pretty.
"I'm sorry, Athy. I'm so sorry." Athanasia tried to smile, but she didn't quite succeed. It wouldn't have mattered anyways since her lover wasn't looking. He simply buried his face in her hand, tears falling to her bed. And when her heart began to thunder again, he could only send more mana through her body to try and keep her by his side.
This time, Athanasia managed to smile.
Death, oh death. To Athanasia, it was such a useless concept. It was supposed to be the end, a new start, but death did nothing but bring them back to the very beginning- she was more than exhausted.
So, when her heart began to stop, Athanasia simply took one last breath. Lucas shook his head, keeping his eyes locked on hers even when Claude shook the palace walls by slamming the doors open. He clutched his daughter, begging her desperately to stay by his side, her numerous deaths flashing right before their eyes.
Sapphire to sapphire and ocean to ocean, Athanasia smiled, opening her mouth to say her first words for the month and the last for the lifetime, "one could not live without the other...
Goodbye, Papa."
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In the next life, I'll probably explain more about Jennet and why she's so obsessed. Right now, she's being led by the sentiments behind her very vague memories. Next life, she'll have all of her memories.
Also, I know that I'm supposed to be on hiatus until winter break, but it's Thanksgiving break and I have more time than I expected lol.
On this week of Thanksgiving, I just want to say thank you all so much for your support!!! I didn't expect so many people to love this story like I do, and I can't express enough how happy it makes me that people enjoy my stories as much as I do.
Also, now that Salvation is complete, the story is insanely close to being complete. So, here are a few announcements along with it, lol.
1) I've started making my own covers and art for stories. I don't want to take the works of other artists, and I'm not good with asking for permission because it makes me ✨anxious✨ I make all of my art on my phone though (for now. I'm saving up for an iPad but rough times, y'all), so it might take a while to even publish anything because all of my art will take ungodly amounts of time.
2) I'm rewriting Hatred Speaks Louder Than Love to be more like Ripples. It'll just be easier for my brain to continue writing.
3) The next WMMAP fanfic will be, according to the poll, "A Future of Us." It's the story based off of "Dear Future You." —> I'm not sure if I'll be writing it all down before publishing it or publishing as I go. I'll decide that after I finish Ripples🤷🏻♀️
Tentative summary:
(Athanasia de Alger Obelia has always been a spiritual and intuitive person, a firm believer of dream analysis. However, when she dreams of herself in the future, with a man no less, she couldn't help but wonder if analyzing said dream would work.
And, when she meets that man with the red eyes, what is she supposed to think or do?)
HAVE A GREAT THANKSGIVING, AND I HOPE THAT EVERYONE IS SAFE AND HEALTHY. Mentally, physically, and even spiritually, I hope that all of you are okay💛
See you all after finals😂😭💀