Waiting for her to answer the door was the hardest part; I couldn’t get my brain to calm down. I didn’t know what to expect, and it make my stomach do flips. Would she be happy? Disappointed, even?
The handle twisted and swung open, revealing a very familiar woman.
“Blair?!” She exclaimed after a few seconds, bringing a hand up to her forehead and lifting her fringe up, in an act of pure astonishment.
“Hi, mum,” I said meekly. Before I could react she had pulled me into a hug and was grasping me tightly. I didn’t need to think about it, I wrapped my arms around her small body and squeezed tight. I couldn’t stop the tears that ran down my cheeks. As I pulled away, I saw she couldn’t either.
“Oh, sweetie,” mum whispered, reaching a hand up to wipe the tears off my face. “I’m so sorry for what I said when you left, I’m so sorry baby. I shouldn’t have been that stupid. Ryan makes you happy, and I know that now.”
I gave a small laugh that sounded more like a sob. “He does, mum. More than anything. And I would love if you two could… maybe be nice to each other for once. He’s in the car.”
She nodded instantly. “Of course, Blair. Get him in here, I just made coffee.” Mum turned and walked for a few paces, then turned left through the arch and into the kitchen. Instead of running out excitedly to Ryan like I should have, I just stood at the door and looked inside. I could see straight down the hall, all the way to the end where the back door was. I could see my bedroom door, which I had the urge to just run up to it and open it wide, seeing if anything had changed since I’d been gone. The lounge was different, there were new couches. Instead of the brown leather, they were now a soft white-grey material, very modern and it matched up beautifully with the whole room. I breathed in the scent that I had missed so much, but finally turned and jogged to the car. Ryan was on his phone, and was looking down at it. When I’d knocked on the window I saw he was texting someone. He rolled down the window when I had taken my hand away.
“Come inside, she’s agreed to be nice,” I managed to stutter out, my voice all over the place from my excitement.
He looked completely stricken. “Really?”
I laughed, my voice coming out steady this time. “Yes, now come on.” I opened the door and grabbed his arm tightly, -- seeing that his seatbelt was already un-clicked -- dragging him towards the house. There was strong pull at my right arm, and I had come to a standstill. Ryan stood and looked, if I wasn’t mistaken, scared.
“What if she’s lying? What if she has an axe and-“
“Ryan!” I exclaimed, surprised at how he thought my mother could do such a thing. “I trust my own mother,” I added, a brave tone in my voice.
He looked down at his feet, then looked back up and nodded slightly. “Alright. But first…” He stepped forward and wrapped me into his arms, pressing his lips to mine. It started out gentle, but after I’d run my finger along his cheekbone, he pressed against me harder. Heat seared through my body, starting at my lips and going all the way down to my feet. I could feel his touch through the thin material of the dress, and it felt amazing. Ryan pulled away from me, and I suddenly felt confused -- like waking up from a nap and not knowing the time. He tightened his grip and leaned down again, this time resting his head on my shoulder, our ears touching. I snuggled into his shoulder with my arms around his neck.
“You’ll be fine, Ry,” I whispered into his ear.
“I know,” he murmured back. “Let’s do this.”
Ryan pulled away, and this time he didn’t come back. Instead he slid his hand down my arm and grabbed a hold of my hand. I lead him up the stairs and to the front door, taking a deep breath before turning the handle and walking inside.
The air was cool, and it hit my face as soon as I’d walked in. It had to be about 20 degrees in there. I turned to find mum sitting at the table, three mugs were with her. I smiled and sat down in one of the chairs, Ryan doing the same.
“Hi Ryan,” my mum greeted. Her tone was welcome, and I felt myself relax a little. Maybe this could work out after all.
“Hey, Mrs. Everty.”
She didn’t bother to say the whole ‘call me Steph’ thing, but I couldn’t ask too much of her.
“Are you two going to the wedding tomorrow?” Mum asked. A smile played at my lips.
“Yeah, that’s the reason I’m back.”
“You flew her all the way here just for that?” Her tone was surprised.
“Actually, Ryan didn’t.”
She looked confused, but I continued. When I said my next words the blood drained out of her face and she turned completely pale, her eyes staring straight ahead.
“Damien Manters did.”
* * *
I struggled to grasp the rather large suitcase that was left in the back of the car, my fingers kept slipping over the handle, and my arms simply weren’t long enough. After letting out a frustrated sigh and beginning to step backwards, a body came to the side of mine.
“I got it,” the voice grunted, leaning in and grabbing the bag with ease. I didn’t have to look at him to know who he was.
“Nathan!” I squealed and threw myself into him, giving him a tight hug. He laughed and tried to pry me off.
“Wow, you missed me huh?”
“Yeah,” I muttered into the sleeve of his hoodie. I finally willed myself to let go and stepped back to see Nathan standing there casually. He looked completely normal, besides the large grey shades under his eyes.
“Woah, tired much?” I teased.
“I haven’t slept in 43 hours, don’t test me.”
“Shit… Nathan, really?”
“Yeah. This wedding has been nonstop planning.”
“Are… are you okay with that?” I found myself thinking of those stupid television shows, where the groom gets overwhelmed and leaves the bride at the aisle.
“If it means Laura will be my wife, of course I’m okay with it.”
I let out a breath I didn’t even know I was holding. “Just dump that in my room. Thanks Nate.”
I skipped into the house as he trudged in behind me, both his arms behind him and dragging the suitcase along. When I passed Ryan I gave him a kiss on the cheek, and then once I was in my room I sat down on the bed, waiting for Nate to arrive. He did, slowly, and once the suitcase was next to me on my bed I began to unpack little things, like my hairbrush and mostly all of the essentials. My eyes were drawn over to the dress, in its box, quite often and after I couldn’t take it any more I ran over and flipped the lid. It still took my breath away, and the suddenly realisation dawned on me. The wedding was tomorrow. I would be going with Ryan, and I wouldn’t have Cass with me. We’d always gone to everything together, and we made a pact when we were little that we’d be at our siblings weddings… but the tour got in between that.
I mentally scolded myself for thinking such things. The tour was the best thing that had happened to me.
I put the lid back on and went out into the lounge, where everyone was gathered.
“Where’s Laura?” I asked as I grabbed a liquorice strip from the bowl on the table and slumped down next to Ryan. I put the strip in my mouth and stretched it out as I tried to bite it off. It hurt my teeth a little, but I was used to ignoring pain.
“She’s out doing… what brides do. I have no idea, but she’s so calm about all of this. I’m getting a little worried,” Nate stated. I shrugged and grabbed my phone from my bra, as there were no pockets in the dress Ryan had bought me. Opening it up, I quickly dialled Laura’s number and she picked up on the 4th ring, and I flicked the phone to speakerphone.
“Hey Blair,” She said, her voice a little more cheerful than I’d expected.
“Hi, where are you?” I said loudly into the receiver.
“What?” She said, obviously confused. “Why would it matter, you’re in Australia- oh God. Are you in Australia?”
“Uh,” I looked over to everyone in the room. Mum was urging me to speak, as if she didn’t mind what I said. Ryan was doing the same, but Nate’s expression was harder to read. He was looking at me with desperate eyes. Finally, he nodded and gave me a small smile. “Not exactly…”
“Blair, where the hell are you? Are you back home?”
“Yep. And hey, answer me. Where are you? I want to see you.”
“I’m, ah, dealing with some things right now. I’ll call you back soon, okay- wait a second, am I on speakerphone?”
“Um, no.” I quickly fumbled around with my phone until it was off of speaker and put it up to my ear. “So when will you be back?”
“Back where?”
“To the house…”
“Oh, I’ll be there in an hour or so. I’ll see you soon babe!”
“Alright, bye,” I said a little wearily. This wasn’t like Laura to be this happy. As much as I didn’t want her to be stressing, I wanted her to be normal.
“And Blair?”
“Yeah?”
“I love you.”
“I love you too Laura.” I disconnected and looked at them all, a feeling of nausea in the pit of my stomach. I looked at everyone in the room again. “Something is definitely wrong.”
“Why does something have to be wrong, can’t she just be happy that she’s getting married?” Ryan asked cautiously, keeping his eyes on my mother the whole time. She laughed rudely.
“Women can’t be under that amount of stress and still be happy, it’s close to impossible.”
I looked over at him. “She’s right,” I added.
“Okay, so we ask her what’s up when she comes back? Yes?” Nate asked.
“No way, I’ll talk to her. You guys don’t worry about it.”
“Now wait just a-“
“If she hasn’t told any of you yet, what makes you think she will anytime soon?” I said harshly, and realising my tone I sighed and leant back into the seat, calming myself. “Look, just let me try, okay?”
They all contemplated for a moment, and then nodded. “Alright,” Nate agreed.
“Thank you,” I sighed in relief, folding my hands into my lap. “She’ll be back here in about an hour.”
I looked at the clock on my white iPhone. Six-fifty-five. I’d called Laura dead on six o’clock, and she had five minutes to get home before I got upset. But then I’d give her another 10, as she said ‘an hour or so.’ After that… I’d be pissed. Mum and Nate were discussing wedding details, while Ryan and I were sitting there and, surprisingly, not speaking one word to each other. I’d had enough of it, it was almost the type of silence that leant towards ‘awkward’.
I hopped up from the couch and turned to outstretch my hand. “Come on, let’s go to my room.” He had a look of relief spread across his face, but as soon as I had noticed it, it had already left his features. Ryan grabbed my hand and I hoisted him up, moving my hands down to rest on his backside and giving him a small kiss on the lips. He pulled back and twisted a golden lock of my hair through his fingers. He leaned down again and through the corner of my eye I could see Mum and Nate were so interested in the wedding that they weren’t paying any attention to us. Good. Ryan brought his lips to mine, and I moved my hands up to cup his face. His tongue trailed on the edge of my lips, and when he moved his hands lower down my back I bit his lip playfully. He smiled through the kiss.
“I don’t think I can wait until we go to your room. I want you now,” he whispered into my ear. I giggled and pushed him away, breaking into a run when I was free of his grasp.
“Guess you’ll have to catch me first!” I teased, only turning to say those words and then focusing on the destination. I ran into my room and began to close the door, but Ryan was too quick, he pushed it open just as I had tried to slam it. I scanned the room for somewhere to go, but I found myself dodging past my bed and stopping right next to my wardrobe. Ryan’s hands found my waist and he turned me around, pushing me against the wardrobe and pressing his body up against mine. I gasped at the sudden closeness.
“You’re such a tease, Blair Everty,” he murmured in my ear.
“You’ll get used to it,” I winked.
“I know I will. Because in my mind, I’ll have… forever.”
My lips curled into a smile. “Forever?” I breathed.
“Is there anything more than- oh wait! 5ever. Isn’t that what all clingy girlfriends say?” he laughed. I laughed along with him.
“Let’s start with forever, we’ll get to 5ever later,” I chuckled.
“Sounds good to me.” His finger trailed along my cheekbone. “You know what else sounds good?”
“What?”
“This.” Ryan lifted me up and out of reflex I wrapped my legs around his waist. He walked over to my bed and dropped me down onto it. A falling sensation hit my stomach, and I couldn’t help but notice again that I’d felt it somewhere before. But where? He hovered over me, his low-cut shirt dropping down which gave me a good look down his chest.
“You want it off?” He said flirtatiously, obviously knowing what I was looking at.
I shook my head. “I don’t think my mother would approve of that.”
“But come on,” he whined. “She’s all the way out there, she won’t notice.” He leant down and trailed kisses along my neck. I giggled and decided to forget about mum, un-tensing and wrapping my arms around Ryan. Reaching down, I slid his shirt up a little and rested my hand above his hip. His skin was warm, and the touch gave me chills. He brought his lips to mine again, the kiss deepening every second. Ryan got the hint, and he shrugged his shirt of quickly before resting his body back onto mine. He groaned as I slid my hand down further, and my door chose to swing open just at that very second. Our lips separated and out heads snapped to look at who was at the door.
“Blair?!” Laura screeched, her eyes and mouth wide open.
“Um, uh, hi Laura,” I stuttered while making no attempt to get Ryan off of me. He seemed pretty content just sitting there.
“Now I’m worried about what you guys actually did on the tour,” she joked, but I could see in her eyes that she wasn’t laughing. What was going on with her?
The thought drifted away as I flashed back to all that did happen on the tour.
I thought about just after the concert when Ryan had pulled me up onstage with him and the guys, and I’d sung to the crowd. Something I’d only every dreamed of.
“Thank you so much Ryan, it was amazing to do something I’ve only ever dreamed of,” I had whispered pleasantly.
“Anytime, gorgeous,” he murmured huskily back in my ear. “I’m glad you enjoyed it.”
I kept looking at Ryan's lips as he pulled away from my neck and his face was close to mine, and he took the hint. He kissed me fiercely, moving his arms up so his hand rested on my chest, the other around the back of my neck, scrunching up my hair. I melted in that kiss, resting my hands on his waist so I could keep our bodies touching. He ran his tongue along my upper lip, which left me breathless and caused both of us to let out a small moan, his warm breath tickling my skin. I let my mouth move slowly, moving with his -- it was nothing like our previous kisses. It felt so right, so perfect.
And then the moment had ended. All of our moments ended, usually by someone interrupting me. Figures, it happened just then, I mumbled in my head.
“Chill out Laura,” I said rather rudely.
“Yeah, I’m not sure you’d want to know,” Ryan said teasingly, keeping his eyes on me the whole time. I laughed and gave him a little shove.
Laura rolled her eyes. “Look, can I just talk to you for a sec?”
“Sure.”
She gave me a wary look. “Alone?”
I looked up at Ryan. He shrugged. “Sure, I’ll just get my shirt.” He gave me a quick kiss on my forehead before lifting himself off of me. I suddenly felt cold, like his body was my warmth.
“Your shirt? Why- are you topless?!” My mum had chosen that moment to walk in. She stared wide eyed and Ryan, then moved onto me. As I was laying on the bed with my shirt lifted up revealing my stomach I decided to get up. This was definitely not a good position for me to be in when the whole family was standing here. I straightened my shirt and walked over to Laura.
“Let’s talk.”