-December 10th 1998-
At Monica and Rachel's we all are eating breakfast.Phoebe is on the couch fidgeting.
Phoebe:What am I sitting on?.
Chandler:Top of the world?.Dock of the bay?...I'm out.
Phoebe takes something out of the couch.
Phoebe:Ew!.Undies!.
Phoebe throws them into the kitchen and Rachel picks them up with the handle of a large spoon.
Rachel:All right!.Who's are they?,Who's are they?.
Ross:Well they're not mine!.
Dakery:Well they're Joey's!.They gotta be Joey's!.
Rachel turns and stares at him.
Joey:Yeah they're mine.
Dakery:See?.They're Joey's!,Joey's!.
Ross;Why are they here?.
Joey:I don't know uh…Well I'm Joey.Yeah I'm disgusting I take my underwear off in other people's homes.
Rachel:Well get em out of here!.What's wrong with you?.
Elizabeth,Chandler:Yeah!.
Dakery,Monica:Yeah!.
Rachel:"Waving them in his face".Take em!.
Joey makes a noise and jumps out of the way.
Rachel:Joey you can touch them.They're your underwear.
Joey:Dakery?.A word.
Dakery follows Joey into Joeys apartment and shrugs on his way out.
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At Central Perk, Joey,Me,Chandler,Monica and Rachel are there as Phoebe enters with her nose stuck in a book.
Monica:Hey Phoebe.
Elizabeth,Chandler:Hi Pheebs.
Rachel:Hey Pheebs.
Joey:Hey Pheebs.
Rachel:What are you reading?.
Phoebe:Um Wethering Heights I'm taking a literature class at the New School and I have to finish it for the first session tomorrow.
Elizabeth:I didn't know you were taking a class.That is so cool.
Phoebe:Yeah!.Well I really liked that Lamaze class I took.Y'know and this time I thought I'd go for something y'know a little more intellectual with a less painful final exam.
Rachel:Honey that sounds like fun.
Phoebe:Yeah.Oh you should come with me. Oh yeah then I'd have someone to sit with.
Rachel:Okay.
Phoebe:Yeah.Okay oh but are you going to have time to read it?.
Rachel:Oh I read that in high school.
Phoebe:This is going to be so much fun!. Okay sh I have to finish.
Ross enters the Cafe looking sad.
Ross:Hi.
Joey:What's wrong buddy?.
Ross:Someone at work ate my sandwich.
Chandler:Well what did the police say?.
Ross:My Thanksgiving leftover sandwich.I can't believe someone ate it.
Elizabeth:Ross it's just a sandwich.
Ross:Just a sandwich?.Look I am 30 years old I'm about to be divorced twice and I just got evicted.That sandwich was the only good thing going on in my life
Someone ate the only good thing going on in my life.
Monica:Okay look I-I have enough stuff for one more sandwich I mean I was going to eat it myself but."Motions that he can have it".
Ross:That,that would be incredible.Thank you so much.I-I still can't believe someone ate it.I mean look I left a note and everything.
He shows the note to Chandler who reads it aloud.
Chandler:"Reads".Knock knock.Who's there?.Ross Geller's lunch.Ross Geller's lunch who?.Ross Geller's lunch please don't take me.Okay?.
Joey:I'm surprised you didn't go home wearing your lunch.
Phoebe:Okay look you wanna hold onto your food?.You gotta scare people off.I learned that living on the street.
Ross:Really?!.So what would you say Pheebs?.Stuff like uh Keep your mitts off my grub?.
Elizabeth:Say Ross when you picture Phoebe living on the street is she surrounded by the entire cast of Annie?.
Phoebe:Okay this will keep them away from your stuff.
Phoebe writes him a note and we all read it.
Everyone:Whoa!.Oh!.
Monica:Phoebe you are a bad ass!.
Phoebe:Someday I'll tell you about the time I stabbed the cop.
Monica:Phoebe?.
Phoebe:Well he stabbed me first!.
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-December 12th 1998-
We all hear yelling across the hall.
Rachel:You get away from me!.You sick, sick,sick,sick-o!.
Me and everyone else enters Joey,Chandler and Ross's apartment.
Ross:What's going on?.
Rachel:Joey has got a secret peephole!.
Dakery:"Sees the picture".Oh no!.No!,No.No!.
Monica:"Gasps".
Rachel:Yes.He has a naked picture of Monica!.He takes naked pictures of us!.And then he eats chicken and looks at them!.
Chandler,Elizabeth:What?!.
Ross stares in shock at him as he angrily puts down the chicken and takes off his coat.
Rachel:Look!."Shows Ross the picture".
Ross:"Covering his eyes".Dude!.That's my sister!.
Rachel shows all of us the photo.
Monica:"Grabbing the picture".Give me that!.
Phoebe:All right wait.Just wait.Everybody just calm down Okay?.Let's give our friend Joey a chance to explain why he's such a big pervert.
Joey:No!.I am not a pervert.Okay?.It's just… I just…Kinda…
Dakery:All right look!,Look.I think I can explain this.
Dakery walks over and stands behind Joey.
Joey:Thank you!.
Dakery:In the medical field it would be said Joey's a sex addict.
Joey:What?!.
Joey turns around and stares at Dakery.
Joey:No I'm not!.
Monica:It's okay!.It's good!.It's good.It's a disease!.
Joey:No!,No!.I am not a sex addict!.
Monica:Yes you are!.That's the only way to explain all this stuff.
Joey:No it isn't!.No it's not.Because you can also explain it with the truth!.
Rachel:Well what is the truth?.
Ross:Yeah what's going on?.
Phoebe:What's going on?.
Joey:I slept with Monica.
Elizabeth:What?!.
Dakery:Well let's….let's see what everybody thinks of that?.
Monica:Oh no!.
Ross:You slept with my sister?.
Joey:Uh yes but it was we just did it once uh in London.
Ross:This is not good for my rage."Takes a pill".
Rachel:Monica is this true?.
Joey:Of course it's true.How else would you explain all the weird stuff that's been going on?.
Monica:Yes it's true.
Rachel:Okay but if it only happened that one time how come we found your underwear in our apartment the other day?.
Joey:Ah That was the underwear I was wearing that night in London.Right Monica?.
Monica:I guess I wanted to keep it...as a souvenir.
Ross:My God Monica!.
Dakery:Are you sure Joe?.Are you sure you're not just a sex addict?.
Joey:No.If anyone's a sex addict here it's Monica.Yeah.Yeah.She has been trying to get me back in the sack ever since London.
Phoebe:So that's why she gave you a naked picture of herself.
Joey:That makes sense.
Rachel:And the video camera?.
Joey:Uh Monica?.
Monica:I guess I set up the video camera to try and entice Joey.
Joey:But sadly I could not be enticed.
Ross:Unbelievable!.I mean you really kept Joey's underwear?!.Why?.Why would you do that?!.
Monica:I'm Monica.I'm disgusting.I stalk guys and keep their underpants.
Joey:Well I think we've all learned something about who's disgusting and who's not.Eh?.All right now I'm going to get back to my bucket.I'm only eating the skin so the chicken's up for grabs."Offers it to everyone".