Holden and I were still lying on the trimmed grass, our hands remaining in their intertwined state. His grip on my hand was uncomfortably tight but I wasn't going to address it, he seemed like he needed it. After the talk about his mother he had crawled back into his usual closed off self and I wish he hadn't.
"I don't know how this works" he murmured beside me, his head tipping slightly towards me "I want to get to know you, I just don't know how" he seemed tense, I understood why, he generally didn't seem like someone that let people into his head. Everyone had secretes of their own and I respected that.
"Neither do I" I shrugged, shivering slightly when the wind picked up, rising goose bumps on my exposed skin.
"Are you cold?" Holden asked when I shivered again. Disregarding the shaking of my head; he sat up, tugging his hoodie over his head before handing it to me, revealing a strip of his toned stomach. My legs clenched as if to prove just how much he affected me.
"I didn't peg you as a football jock" I said at yet another reminder of his frankly dangerous desired sport. The moonlight bathed over the hoodie brightly illuminating the football team logo at its front, with the words 'USB football team' above it.
"What, I don't make the cut?" He made a show of flexing his bulging biceps, stretching the ink on his skin as he feigning hurt.
"No! I mean yes!...ugh" I was failing horribly at trying to retract my words. I didn't mean that he wasn't muscular because he had more than enough muscles, he just didn't seem like a cliché version of an all american jock. I groaned slipping on the hoodie to hide my flushed cheeks.
"Since I can remember I've always loved football. I crave the thrive and excitement it gives me...when I'm on the field its just me and the game" he brightened up instantly as he spoke conveying how deep his love for the sport really ran.
"Um...how old are you" it was a general question, a step closer to knowing him.
"Would you not want me if I were a thirty year old in collage?" He questioned, a grin spread across his lips as he looked at me in amusement "I'm twenty two on the seventh of next month. How old are you?"
"Would you not want me if I were a thirty year old in collage" I fired back, surprised when he let out a boisterous laugh. It was nothing short of pure man and sin, I didn't want him to stop.
"I probably would" came his response his crystal grey eyes dancing with laughter.
"Is that what your into, cougars?" I asked him wanting to keep playful Holden for as long as I could.
"I don't know, I'm into you so you tell me" he placed his arm around my shoulder pulling me into him before planting a swift kiss on my temple. His words immediately had my cheeks heating up as I tried to conceal them with my hair.
"Okay my turn, what's your middle name?" Holden asked as I lay my head on his chest, a position that felt so normal for me it was scary.
"Its Poppy, like the flower" I said as a bittersweet smile graced my at the name. Blake had always preferred to call me by my middle name rather than my first, he said Savannah was too common. If it was up to him he would have probably made Poppy my first name.
"Poppy...that's a beautiful name, it suites you" a shivered of delight raked through me, my eyes closing involuntarily to sever the way my name rolled of his sleek tongue. I immediately flushed in humiliation when I opened my eyes to find his looking straight at me his grey eyes sparkling.
"You like it don't you?" he didn't wait for my response, suddenly crashing his soft lips on mine. His arm slipped around my waist pulling me closer to him until I could feel his heat through my clothes. The kiss escaladed quickly, it was being driven by pure need, I had to stop it. I placed my had on his chest slightly pushing him back, an animalistic growl resonated from the back of his throat showing his displeasure at the interruption.
"Why the hell can't I kiss you now" he groaned his eyes displaying annoyance as his lips pouted slightly.
"I was serious about getting to know each other, no more distractions" I tried to say sternly, my body betraying me when I let out a low moan at his hand brushing against my breast over the hoodie "Holden!" I said, exasperated as I slapped his hand away.
"Fine Poppy" he said a mischievous glint in his eyes as he threw his hands above his head in mock surrender. I blushed harshly at his choice of name.
The conversation continued to flow lightly none of us going into anything too deep. I learnt that he was majoring in business administration and had gotten a football scholarship to the school. A certain question was still lingering in my head the whole time, I was afraid of the answer but curious nonetheless.
"Holden...why were you in the girls bathroom that day?" his eyes that had been closed quickly jerked open, a light shade of pink tinted his cheeks.
"I...um...I saw you" I choked on thin air at the admission he couldn't possibly be serious.
"What" I let out once my coughing fit reduced as I watched his cheeks heat up even more. He cleared his throat before speaking.
"I was leaving my friends room when I saw you walk by... I thought you were incredibly beautiful and I had to get a better look so I followed you, rather blindly I guess" he shrugged his eyes meeting mine as if to gage my reaction "Poppy you already had me from the word go" the air shifted a serious looked settled in his eyes
"You can't say things like that" my heart was drumming against my chest as he brushed his knuckles against my cheek.
"Why not?" He shrugged his shoulder a nonchalant smile gracing his lips as his had slipped to the side of my neck.
"Because I'm scared" I whispered, shrugging his hand off me.
"Of what?" Holden sat up, noticeably widening his stance as he prepared for the blow of my words.
"Am scared that I'll get too invested in you and then one day you'll leave" at one point in my life I believed in happy endings, I don't anymore. 'A happy ever after' is a lie told so many times people are led to believe it.
"I won't" determination was clear in his words as he reached out for my hand, caressing it softly.
"You don't know that, you don't know the amount of baggage I have"
"I won't" he said this again, his face portraying an intense honesty I didn't know was possible "...who left" he was a smart guy, obviously he could tell it was more than I let on.
"My father" Blake didn't leave me, he was ripped away from me. My father; he didn't want me, he left on his own accord. Holden simply nodded, not prying for any sort of answers which I was thankful for.
"Its late we should head back" Holden said, easily standing before helping me up. He dropped a long arm over my shoulder as we made our way back to short steel gate. I watched shocked when he flicked a lock on the door, swinging it open.
"Why did you make me jump over it before?" I quipped in shock.
"I got to touch you, didn't I?" He shrugged his other shoulder, amusement flickering in his features as we walked past the gate, towards the long hallway.
The car ride was short, only the trucks headlight shinning on the road. I was glad he had taken me to the stadium, it kept my mind off of the paranoid state I was in. Now heading back to campus grounds it was all coming back.
"Do I get to kiss you now?" Holden asked once he parked the car outside my dorm building. I nodded, his lips descending on mine quickly. The kiss was full of longing and I cursed myself for prolonging the wait, when we pulled away I was barely containing myself from jumping him.
"Goodnight" he pecked my lips lightly before unlocking the doors. I hastily climbed the stairs, exhaling through my nose to settle the rapid beating of my heart. My back pressed against the door once I entered the room, quickly catching sight of Avery's blue eyes.
"Let me guess, was it another on of your 'not dates' dates" she looked completely amused as she blew on freshly painted nails.
"It wasn't" I argued while making my way towards my bed.
"Wow and he also branded you, how caveman like" I shot her a confused look, wondering what exactly she was going on about "That's the schools team hoodie, it has his name and number at the back" Avery raised an amused eyebrow possibly at the fact that I had landed in the situation again.
"What?!" I quickly tugged it off, turning it to confirm her statement. The word 'Steele' was written behind it in bright red. I could hear Avery chuckle from the other side of the room. Ignoring her, I hang the hoodie in my small dresser, noticing the shirt he given me during the party weeks ago.
I might as well section a part of my closet for his clothes I scoffed.
"Am exhausted, goodnight" I shot at Avery desperate to climb into my bed.
"Night"
For the first time in three days I was finally able to sleep, lifeless brown eyes still at the back of my head.
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