"You know Brian, don't you, Christopher?" Mom asked.
"Uh, yeah." I'm still confused what he's doing here. Shouldn't he be in school?
"Well, Christopher, I'm going to let you two by yourselves. I'm going to do some chores upstairs with your grandpa." She leaves the room.
"Hey, Chris." Brian walked over to me and sat down on the bed a couple of inches away from me. I probably have a confused look on my face because he said, "You're probably wondering what I'm doing here, huh?"
"Yeah. Why aren't you at school?" I asked.
Brian looked down at the floor for a minute before looking up at me. "I got suspended for a day."
"For what?"
"For that fight with Malcolm," he said slowly.
Oh right. What kind of a question was that? "What about Malcolm?" I asked.
"He got suspended for three days."
"Really?" I couldn't help but feel so relieve that Malcolm got suspended.
"Yeah, Mrs. Gray told him he had to apologize to you when the both of you come back to school." He stopped before adding, "and you have to apologize to him too."
"Why do I have to apologize to him for! I didn't do anything to him!" I yelled.
"Well, she found out about the video where you were beating Malcolm up."
"Oh."
We sat there in silence for a few minutes until I finally spoke up and said, "So you just came here to about yours and Malcolm's suspension and the apologies?"
"And to see how you're doing," he said.
"Horrible. Look at my bruises." I carefully lift my shirt up to show him. When he saw them, he winced and looked away. I put my shirt back down. "Anything else?"
He sighed. "I wanted to talk about what happened after you beat up Malcolm at the party."
"You mean when we...?"
He nodded his head. "Yeah. When we kiss."
"Well, good because," I sat up straight in my bed, "I wanted to talk to you about that too."
"Yeah, I thought so."
We sat there in silence again, unsure what to say.
"So, what is there you want to talk about?" I asked, breaking the silence again.
"You're probably wondering why I broke the kiss, but first I want to ask you something."
"Which is?"
"What made you decide to kiss me?"
Is he serious right now? "You looked like you wanted to kiss me," I said.
"What made you think I wanted to kiss you?"
I don't know why, but I started to get mad at him. "You keep putting your face closer to mine and you were licking your lips and telling me how pretty my eyes are!" I shouted at him. "And as I recall, you were the one who were making moves on me, telling me how hot I look!"
Tears came out of his eyes and he looked away. "I know. I'm sorry, Chris. I did wanted to kiss you and it was amazing, but then..." he started to cry.
I looked at him, feeling sorry for what I just said. My heart hurts to see him like this.
"I'm sorry, Brian." I came closer to him and hugged him from behind. "I didn't mean to yell at you. I mean, I was happy that I kissed you and you just stopped it."
Brian sniffled and looked back at me. "I know. I liked it too, but then I thought about something that made me cry."
"What is it?" I asked.
He shook his head. "I can't tell you, Chris. I just can't."
I looked at him while he's sitting there, tears coming out of his eyes. My heart aches for him again. He's probably still dealing with something that happened last year. I still wanna learn what happened last year, but then I remembered whenever Malcolm brings it up, Brain gets really mad. Instead, I rubbed his back and said, "It's okay, Brian. You don't have to tell me."
I continued to rub his back when he said, "The worst thing about this is, I don't know how to handle what happened last year and my feelings for you."
I stopped rubbing his back when he said that. Brian has feelings for me? I felt a little relieved, but at the same time, he's still dealing with something that happened a year ago.
Brian continued, "When I first met you, Chris, all I could think about is making out with you, but everytime I make a move on you, all I could think about is what happened. And I can't talk to anyone about it because it hurts and I usually lashed out at them."
I put my head on the back of his shoulder. Poor Brian. He's dealing with a lot of stuff in his life. I rubbed his arms and said, "I wish there was something I can help you with it."
"You can't." He cried harder. "You can't, Chris."
I put my head on his shoulder again as I continue to rubbed his arms. I felt bad for Brian. Did something happened last year was so bad that it broke Brian? Did someone he knows did something to hurt him so bad it made him like this?
"I just...I don't think I can handle all of this." He looks back to me. "What do you think I should do, Chris?"
I lifted my head up and looked at him. His eyes are red from all the crying. I wiped the tears that's coming down in his cheek. His breath started to quiver and he put his head on my shoulder. I put my arms around him and pulled him closer.
As he continue to cry, I put my fingers through his hair; it helped calm him down a little. I wish there was something I can do to help him, but I can't when he can't tell me what's going on. I then thought of something I think might help him. I know I'm not going to like it and he's not going to like it, but it's the only thing I can think of right now.
"Brian, I think it's for the best if we don't hang out for a while," I said.
He looked up at me. "What? What do you mean?"
"I just think that maybe it's for the best if we don't talk and hang out for a while," I explained to him.
"But why, Chris? I don't understand. We only know each other for a week and now you don't want to hang out with me anymore?"
"No, Brian. I just think that because you need to figure everything out. You need to figure out about your feelings for me and dealing what happened last year, Brian. That's exactly what I'm saying."
Brian continue to stare at me, then he sighed. "Okay. I'll try to do this, Chris. But I'm going to tell you, I'm not going to like it." He looked at the time on my alarm clock. "I have to go and help a neighbor with something as part of my punishment my parents gave me."
"Okay."
Brian looked at me again, then leaned over to me. I thought he was going to kiss me again, but he planted one on my forehead. "Goodbye, Chris." Then he got off of my bed and started to walk out of my room before looking back at me, then he left.
After he left, tears started to come out of my eyes. I wasn't happy about what I said, but it think it's probably for the best. I don't know how long it's going to last, but I guess I'll have to find out and see.
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