WARNINGS: swearing, violence, sexual tension.
I awake to screaming. Not my screaming which is a nice change. No, when my ears come into focus it sounds more like a child. It must be Madi. Gaia said she'd been communicating more with the past Commanders. I don't know much about that but I'm hoping she doesn't lose herself in the Flame.
I stand from bed and notice something strange. John isn't here. He must not have come back to bed last night. I get dressed quickly in a white halter top and black jeans. This is more how I dressed on the Ark and now I have the means to dress like myself again.
When I'm down the stairs, I find Raven at the door with Echo. They must've just gotten back. I hug them both quickly before finding John at the bar. I frown deep, noticing his passed out appearance. I move to sit in the seat next to him and turn to the bartender, smiling wide.
"Could I have a glass of cold water?" I ask.
He nods, filling it up at the tap before placing it in the bar in front of me. I grin at him, taking the cup and splashing it in John's face. He jolts upward, nearly falling out of his chair.
"I can see your relationship's going well," Raven says to me, walking to sit at a table with Echo.
"What the hell, Cam?" John says, keeping his eyes shut as he wipes himself off a bit.
"Good morning," I say, smiling at him.
He frowns, leaning closer to me. "You know, I think you're getting too comfortable with being the boss in the relationship."
I swallow hard. "What?"
"I think," he says, hand trailing up my thigh, "I need to remind you who's really in charge here."
"Oh," I say quietly, shifting a bit.
I wish I could make a sarcastic comment or have a bitchy reply but I can't. He always does this to me when he gets like this. I melt when he talks dirty to me and he knows that. I can already see how this'll go.
"I think you need to be put in your place," he says, nodding and squeezing my skin. "Don't you think so?"
"Yes," I squeak as he digs his fingertips into my flesh.
He grins, eyes falling off mine and to my body. "Good." He leans closer to my ear and whispers, "I'm gonna make you scream my name."
My breath hitches as my hand balls into a fist. "Please."
He presses his lips to my cheek for half a second before pulling back. "I'm gonna change."
"Right," I say quietly, nodding.
He grins, pushing himself off the stool and walking up the stairs. I frown at myself, going to sit at the table with Echo and Raven. They both give me looks but I ignore them. They can't judge me. I've fucked Raven and I've heard Echo and Bellamy going at it. They both know if they said anything, I'd bring both the situations up.
"How's it going?" Clarke asks, walking down the stairs and sitting at our table.
"Just great," Raven says, sighing a bit.
"You'll be even worse when I tell you what we found yesterday," I say, making sure to keep my voice down.
By the end of the story, both girls' mouths are hanging open. Raven struggles for words as Echo starts to frantically shake her head. Clarke just sits there with an emotionless expression on her face.
"That's disgusting," Raven says after a minute, scowling. "They can't do that."
"Of course they can. They're the Primes. They do whatever the hell they want even if innocent people die for it," I say, shaking my head hard.
"We've done terrible things to survive," Clarke says, shrugging.
"This isn't surviving," Raven says, frowning deep. "This is self preservation at its finest."
"Where's Bellamy?" Echo asks suddenly.
"He's out scouting locations," Clarke says, nodding.
"I'll go after him then," Echo says, nodding too and walking out the door.
Raven stands too. "I think I'll go to the machine shop."
She walks out and I'm left with Clarke.
I give her an angry smile. "Aren't you going to leave?"
"Maybe I could stay," she says, raising her eyebrows.
"Or maybe I'll go," I say, standing.
"Have you talked to John yet today?" she asks suddenly.
I furrow my eyebrows and look down at her. "Um... no, not yet. Not about anything real anyway. Have you?"
She shrugs. "A little."
"Great," I say, smiling and balling both my hands into fists. "Maybe just don't talk to him anymore."
Her eyebrows raise. "I didn't realize you were the jealous type."
I force the tension from my body. "We both are."
"That must suck being a slut, huh?" she asks, scrunching her nose a bit.
"What is your problem lately? You come after my drinking then my sex life? What is it next? Marcus?" I ask, shaking my head.
She shakes her head a bit, looking confused. "Why would I come after you about Marcus?"
I mask my confusion, letting out a laugh. "No reason. I'll just leave."
I walk quickly to the door, flinging it open. What the actual hell was that about? She's acting insane lately. I honestly don't know where to go or what to do about it but I can't just let it be. She isn't...normal. Usually, she's controlling. She hasn't been insisting I keep myself under control as much. Maybe she just enjoys being somewhere where we aren't constantly in danger. I have to admit that it is nice to know I'm not at war.
Though it's only around noon, I'm still exhausted. I can feel the tiredness weighing me down as I try to walk faster. I frown deep, walking back to the tavern and rushing up the stairs. As soon as I'm in my room, I pass out on the bed.
_•_•_
I'm in the machine shop. I can't be exactly sure why but when I woke up, I had this feeling that I wanted to see Raven. When I walked down the stairs, everyone was seated at a table and talking quietly to each other. Bellamy seemed sad about something and Madi was hugging him. They seemed busy so I decided to come here. John arrived not long after I'd begun examining a motorcycle. The mechanics of it are interesting so it takes up most of my attention.
"I still don't know how you're alright with what the Primes are doing," I blurt out, shaking my head.
"Do you wanna know why?" John asks, grabbing one of my hands and pulling me to stand in front of him.
"Sure. Why?" I say, letting out a breath and bouncing on my feet.
He grins. "Immortality."
I breathe a laugh, shaking my head. "What are you talking about?"
His grin only widens as he takes one knee in front of me.
My eyes widen a bit. "John?"
He pulls something from his back pocket and I recognize it as the mind drive Gabriel used in that video. "Cam, I love you. And I know we've never been...perfect. Not between all the times I've left you or I've killed people or...you sleeping with Bellamy but...I want you. No one else. The Primes would make us Nightbloods and then put these in our heads. We'd be immortal. So, can you love me forever?"
The thought of a life with John forever sounds like pure heaven to me.
"How sweet."
I turn to find Clarke walking in. "What the hell are you doing here?"
"I don't know," she says, examining me closely. "I don't know if she's right for you. She's awfully pretty but she swears a lot. I just think you deserve better, John."
"What the hell are you talking about? And that's the second time I've heard you call him John," I say, shaking my head.
"Someone's slow, huh?" she asks, leaning against the desk. "I'm not Clarke. I'm Josephine."
My eyes widen as my hands ball into fists. "No. Don't tell me she's dead."
That must've been what Bellamy and Madi were crying about.
"I thought she was but apparently not," she says, glancing at her nails. "I have to get her out of my head."
"Clarke's alive?" John asks, turning to face her.
"Barely. She won't give up my mind though so I need to fry her," she says, glancing at me. "Think you can handle that?"
I let out a laugh. "I think you underestimate me."
"You're willing then?" she asks, eyebrows raised.
I turn to John, biting my lip. "Yes. I'm willing."
"Good. I want to make an EMP to destroy her," she says.
"Like Monty and Sinclair did with Raven when Ally was in her head?" I ask.
"Yes. Do you know how to do that?" she asks.
"I'd need some help but I think I have the basic idea of what to do," I say, nodding.
She grins. "You're a smart slut then?"
I clench my jaw and take a step toward her but John steps in front of me. "Woah."
Josephine just laughs. "You couldn't kill me if you tried."
"Wanna bet?" I ask, raising my eyebrows.
"You could always kill me but there goes your immortality," she says, faking a pout.
I frown, pointing angrily at her. "Don't turn your back. I can kill you whenever the hell I want. I'm sure you've seen enough of Clarke's memories to realize that that's true. Blodreina is nothing compared to me. So, if you think something as insignificant as immortality will keep me from murder, you're wrong. It'd be a shame to lose an eternal life with the man I love but it'd be worth it if I got to see the light leave your eyes."
"Camari," John warns, shaking his head.
I sigh, cupping his cheeks. "You're not going to hell, John. And I know you don't believe me but I know you. If this is what it takes to keep you sane then I'm willing. But only because we'll be together and you'll feel safe."
He nods. "Ai hod yu in."
"Ai nou gaf in bilaik disha ba ai na gon yu. Ai jos nou gaf in gon frag em op," I say, shaking my head but keeping a smile on my face so she'll think I'm being sentimental. I don't want to do this but I will for you. I just don't want to kill her.
He nods. "Ai get in." I know.
I smile softly. "Ai hod yu in."
WORD COUNT: 1767
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