october 26, 2018
i wake up, groaning and turning to stretch my arm out on the bed. the sound of rain filled my ears and i felt at peace for a second. i flinch when it lands on a body and i hesitatingly pull it back.
jahseh: ouch
he mumbles into the pillow and i rub his back.
madison: sorry, i thought i was alone
jahseh: it's okay.
madison: damn i wish i would have hit billie instead of you. but i'm relieved you're not billie.
jahseh: yeah, she was a headache after you went to sleep.. shit!
i hear a thump and dart my head to where he was laying, only to see he had disappeared. i laugh when i realise he's fallen off the bed.
madison: you okay?
he pops up and grabs his shirt off the floor, putting it on quickly.
jahseh: yeah, but i just remembered i promised claudia i'd come in and see her today. wanna come?
madison: i'll come in later, but i'm still tired
he nods and walks out of my room after thanking me and saying bye. i lay there, letting the memories from last night pour into my mind after being ignored for the hours i was sleeping. i'm slapped back into reality when i hear a voice from downstairs, and decide to go check it out. after minutes of laying there, i change my mind and stay in bed for a while, leaving people to think i'm still asleep. i find my mind on billie again. thinking of why she did what she did last night. the door opened and i found myself looking at the devil herself.
billie: hey
madison: don't hey me.
billie: please maddie, don't do this. not now
madison: don't not now me.
i got up angrily and looked at her.
billie: what do you want me to do?
she walked over to me and i felt anger building up inside of me with every step she took. once she reached me i walked around her and out of the room, walking downstairs while putting my hair in a messy bun.
billie: madison, i'm sorry.
madison: no you're not billie we both know you're not.
we get downstairs and i walk into the kitchen, going to the fridge and grabbing out the juice while our friends watched us.
billie: so we're not gonna talk about that night?
madison: what night?
billie: the night we had sex.
i glance over at our friends and then look at her, turning fully around.
billie: that night i realised the most impossible thing. we only met a few weeks ago but that one night i realised i'm in love with you.
i took a step and swung my hand at her face, slapping her cheek. she doesn't flinch at all, as if she had known it was coming.
madison: no you aren't
i leave the juice in it's place on the counter and walk to where our friends are sitting. before i can sit down and join them billie grabs my hand, making me turn to face her once again.
billie: maddie i love you
once again i feel the anger build up inside me and next thing we all knew, my hand was flying up to meet her face once again, this time she flinches a little, not expecting me to slap her again. my hand was in pain, and her cheek was dark red.
madison: no you don't
i sit down and isaac grabs my hands, rubbing the back of them in an attempt to calm me down. nobody says anything but billie kneels in front of me, taking the hand i slapped her with. i clench my jaw, waiting for a slap of my own, but she doesn't hit me.
billie: madison, i really do love you. and i promise it will never happen again. that's why i want to give you this.
i hear gasps around the room as she pulls out a small box from her pocket.
billie: this isn't a ring of engagement, but it's a promise ring. and with this, maddie, i promise to cheer you up when you are sad, to be there for you anywhere and everywhere, to love you and make you happy from now on. but most importantly, i promise to make you my wife one day, and give you the life of your dreams. will you take this promise ring into your hold?
i stare at her blankly, not knowing what to do or say. we had been through so much together and we had only met a few weeks ago. but it was too early for me. for a proposal of promises from a girl who couldn't keep her will for even 24 hours. although, instead of explaining it to her and our friends that way, i furrowed my eyebrows.
madison: are you out of your goddamn mind?
her face drops and everybody rings out another load of gasps.
billie: mad-
i cut her off by slapping her again, for the third time within the span of 20 minutes. by now her cheek was bruised purple, and although she had stopped trying to get her point across, she hadn't shown pain for her face at all.
madison: snap out of it! you don't love me and you can't promise that you love me! stop talking about it and start proving it. within 24 hours you have shown me that you don't give a flying fuck about a single thing you say after it's been a few hours. until you prove to me you can love me and say something without going and checking out someone else, i will not take that ring into my hold.
billie: i'm sorry
madison: no you're not
billie: i'll change
madison: no you won't.
boy was i wrong.
for the rest of the month, billie focused on making music. she was way more active on social media and turned down every invite to parties. we hung out more and she normally dragged me into her room to listen to something she created or we would just listen to music while talking. this was one of those nights. it's the middle of the night and we sat in billie's bedroom while she spun around in her wheely chair while listening to music. when the song stopped she got off her chair and dizzily walked to her bed, falling face first into her pillow. i laugh and she looks at me, a small smile on her lips.
billie: what do you wanna do tomorrow?
madison: i don't know, what do you wanna do?
billie: i don't know. but i know what i wanna do now.
she pulls me into a soft kiss.
billie: i know a park just down the road. we can walk there right now and look at the LA stars.
i knew exactly what she meant by that; the air in LA was so polluted you couldn't see the stars at all
billie: we don't have to go if you dont want to
madison: go put a hoodie on or you're gonna freeze
and thus, we went to the park. she took me a little further away, where there was a pond and trees covering where we were. we laid on the grass looking at the sky while she pointed out non existent constellations and we laughed. right now though, i was lying on her stomach as we lay in silence.
billie: maddie?
madison: mm
billie: why am i changing?
madison: i don't have an answer. that's for you to tell me.
i sit up and look at her, watching her stare into the sky as if she was dozed off yet still completely focused on the conversation.
madison: so bil, tell me. why are you changing?
her hand finds mine and she holds it but never makes eye contact with me.
billie: i think it's because i love you. but i'm confused by it myself. i don't like change, i never have. and now i find myself changing because i've fallen in love with someone i didn't even know existed a month ago.
she sits up and finally looks at me, her thumb rubbing my hand.
billie: i don't know. but when i do i'll ask that question again.
i smile and she pulls me closer to her. her tongue comes out to wet her lips as her eyes trail up to mine.
danielle: BOO BITCH
billie snatches her hand from mine and both of our heads dart in direction of where the voice was.
madison: dani!!
i get up and hug her then notice she's with someone else.
danielle: i brought liam
madison: omg
liam: wassup ma
i run up to him and hug him, turning back to billie and dani.
billie: who's your friend
madison: billie this is liam, i've known him since i was a kid.
liam: hey
i'm guessing she got a bit pissed off they were here because she just nods at him then slightly rolls her eyes.
billie: what are y'all doing here? it's literally the middle of the night
danielle: we could ask you the same thing.
madison: did you guys follow us or something?
liam: no, we went to your house and you weren't there, tried the twins and they said you were at billie's so we came and finneas said he heard you guys leave so we came to check here
madison: what if we weren't here?
danielle: then tacobell or 7/11
i laugh at the accuracy.
madison: we were-
billie: were gonna go back to my place. y'all wanna come?
danielle: alright let's go
***
we get to billie's house and go inside, quietly making our way to her room so we don't wake up pepper or her parents. billie immediately turns her red lights off, the normal light switching on and it makes me frown because she usually doesn't change it. we sit on her bed and she traces invisible patterns on my thigh while i talk to danielle and liam. i look at her after a while and she looks bored out of her mind.
madison: you okay?
billie: mhm
she looks at me and scrunches her eyebrows together quickly before going back to tracing my leg. i sigh and go back to talking. after half an hour billie lets them crash in the livingroom and we sleep in her room.
billie: if y'all get kicked out tomorrow it ain't my fault cause it ain't my house thank you for your time
she closes her door and switches her lights then walks over to her bed.
madison: what happened?
billie: your friend
madison: what did he do?
billie: called you ma
madison: billie that's not that big a deal he's an old friend
billie: but only i can call you that
madison: bil..
billie: that old friend of yours seems to have a fat crush on you
madison: how
billie: did you see the way he was holding you? or did you forget to even mention it?
madison: and just how was he holding me billie
billie: his hand was all over your ass and shit
madison: it was not
billie: yes it was you just didn't care to notice it but i saw it straight away
madison: bil your over exaggerating he's like a brother to me
billie: well your brother wants to fuck the shit out of you, and he won't even care if that sound weird as fuck.
she wraps her arm around my waist and pulls me closer to her, her soft lips meeting mine.
billie: if i catch him doing anything like that again i'm gonna break him
she kisses me once more and takes a deep breath before we both fall asleep.
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tenks 🥰
1973 words