Half the week had passed as today was Wednesday. I was going over contact lists, making sure that they were active and up-to-date. I've had more fun job duties, but it was nice to have more of a chilled day. With only half an hour left til lunch someone knocked on the door of the room I was sitting in before slowly opening it. Grimmy put his head through, gesturing to my headphones while mouthing if I was busy in a call. I pulled the headphones out.
"No, come in." I turned the screen of my laptop down a bit to show that I was giving him my full attention. "What's up?" I asked as he sat down. Grimmy put his right ankle over his left knee while cracking a can of coke, looking like a real lad. He was dressed in his normal outfit, an open shirt with rolled up sleeves over some kind of t-shirt, paired with skinny jeans.
"I have plans with Harry after work. And a brilliant idea came to me! Why don't you join us? I mean, you know each other more or less after Friday and you are basically team-Harry here at work now. I think it could do you good before release-day." He proposed excitedly. It was the least thing I expected him to say when he came in. I understood the point he was trying to make, but I was not sure it was a good idea.
"Oh, so it's a work thing?" I asked in a higher pitch than normal, trying to play cool and get more of a reaction out of Nick. It was one thing to hang out for a night out and another to intrude on 'best friend hang out'. Honestly, it felt weird.
"No no, not a work thing. It is beneficial for work, yes. But from what I could remember we had fun. Come on sugar!" Grimmy tried to persuade me with sweet talk.
"Grimmy, it feels weird. I am intruding." I twisted in my seat.
"Oh stop that" He scowled at me and put both of his feet back down again for dramatic effect in his disapproval, "it is not possible to intrude if me and Harry are asking you to come." He continued. I sighed to show that I was not happy with him either. It felt like I had no choice than to accept, but even if I did it felt like it was not the right thing to do. I think we've all been there... But as I said, I had no choice since Grimmy had already made his mind up.
"I'll come by your desk when I'm done then." He stood up pushing his chair back into place. "See you later alligator." He cheered over his shoulder before exiting the door.
I jumped in the passenger seat of Grimmy's car. The engine turned on and his phone automatically connected to the speakers. He had previously told me that we were headed to Harry's place, as if I already didn't feel like I was intruding... Now I felt even more like it. Fortunately we were on the right side of the city so the car ride wouldn't be long. That would give me less time to build up nerves and not chip the red nail polish off. It wasn't necessary meeting Harry again that made me nervous. What made me nervous was the situation of me hanging out with two best friends, and barely knowing one of them. The awkwardness that would surely come with that made me uncomfortable, and I knew we all would feel uncomfortable. We could all save ourselves from that by me simply not just coming with. Grimmy was an extreme extrovert so that made me cool down a bit. I didn't know Harry well enough to know how he would handle the awkwardness, and that was one of my issues. One of the other issues that correlated with that was that I'm neither an extrovert nor an introvert. I had no problems being social and I loved people. But I was never the life of the party or the one to seek people. In situations like this I wished I was that person.
Grimmy and I chatted, and I welcomed the distraction. The music in the car faded out a bit as Grimmy got a text.
"Oh will you check that for me?" He met my eyes before focusing back on the road. I nodded and grabbed the phone from the handle between us.
Harry: Could you grab us some food on your way here? I'll take whatever you guys want.
I read the text out loud to Grimmy. He nodded agreeing with Harry. I had been too nervous to even feel my hungry stomach, but I was happy with the proposal.
"I know a great indian place on our way." Grimmy glanced over at me for a second and my stomach growled from the idea of warm indian food.
"That'd be great." I agreed, feeling like I was about to start drooling any minute. We had been working later than normal and neither of us had eaten for way too long.
"Text Harry that and tell him to text us his order." Grimmy's hand gestured to his phone still left in my hand.
Nick: We'll pick up indian food for all of us. Text us your order/B
We stopped outside the gate. Nick leaned out of the window and called on the door to be let in. A few seconds went by before the gates were opened. Grimmy parked the car and I grabbed the bags with food. As we stepped out of the car Harry already waited for us by the door, leaning his shoulder on its frame. He was dressed in a grey hoodie and sport shorts and waved both of his hands to greet us. Grimmy was first to give him a hug. I waited behind for my turn to say hello properly. As they hugged, Harry's and my eyes locked, my heart started to pound more rapidly in my chest again. Just when I had shaken it off... He let go of Grimmy and embraced me after leaving a quick peck on my cheek. He kept an arm around me. I don't know why he did it, but I was happy he did. It was a kind and friendly gesture to make me feel less like I was someone barging in his home. With the other hand he grabbed the food from me as he started to guide me through the hallway.
"I'll show you around later, but let's start with the kitchen so we can eat." Harry walked a little behind me as we tried to catch up to Grimmy.
"I won't fight you on that, I'm starving." I glanced back at him from beneath my bangs.
"Me too!" Grimmy shouted from around the other room. Just as we rounded the corner Harry 's let go of my back and I was met by the sight of his kitchen. The first thing I noticed, which shouldn't come as no surprise, was that it was big. I took in the view and walked up next to Grimmy by the counter. The kitchen was the same as the outside of his house, plain, clean and kind of boring. It was nothing special and didn't give of that homey feeling. The only thing that was placed on his counter was a coffee machine. He must be a big coffee drinker if that was the only thing he had on display in his kitchen. Just when I made the observation Harry walked up to the machine.
"Oh gosh...What is this?" He turned around to us, laughing in confusion. I had no idea what he was talking about. To demonstrate he showed us what he was holding, it was a 'The Breakfast Show' mug with Grimmy's smiley face on it. I couldn't hold in the snort, it was too funny not to laugh, even if this clearly was some inside joke they had going on.
"Just another one to your collection." Grimmy shrugged his shoulder but couldn't hide the grin on his face. "This one is for sure my favourite.", he continued and tried pulling a serious face to go with the serious tone of voice. I just looked between them, not really knowing what he was referring to, but Grimmy quickly started to fill me in on the memo. Meanwhile Harry shook his head in disappointment although he surely thought it was funny.
"Harry has nothing in this kitchen except for a random collection of mugs." Grimmy explained with a hint of innocent judgement in his voice. As Harry tried to defend himself for not having anything in his kitchen he opened one of the shelves and placed the mug in it. It was true that the shelf was pretty much empty, except for the lowest one that was filled with random cups, not one matching the other. My eyes especially focused on the one with a blue cat silhouette and the text 'cool cat' written on it. Cute... A smile creeped up on my face that I tried to wipe off the same second I felt it. Harry closed it and moved on to grab us plates and cutlery.
We had made our way to the dining room in connection with the kitchen. The whole dinner I had just tried to adapt to the lingo between Grimmy and Harry. It seemed like they acted as they usually did with each other, but made sure to include me. Harry had also been forced to adjust to my and Grimmy's dynamic and we made sure to involve him. It didn't occur to me that Harry in reality was as much of a third wheel as I was. The food was finished an hour ago but we had stayed by the kitchen table sharing funny anecdotes. Grimmy just ended one from an award show both him and Harry attended that he thought Harry had heard of, but hadn't. I hid my face from second hand embarrassment when Grimmy got to the good bits and Harry sat in shock for not having heard it before. We all chuckled for a bit before as we neared the silence for someone else to tell a new one, instead Harry turned to me.
"Should I show you around now?" He put his hands on his thighs and froze in that position. The shorts had been slipping a bit further up and squeezing them tighter than when he was standing. When I became aware of me staring at his thighs for a second I moved my focus back to his eyes. His eyebrows had raised slightly with his proposal.
"Sure!" I nodded with my chin in my hand. We both started to clean after ourselves and Grimmy slapped our hands at the attempt.
"Stop that, I'll fix it while you two go for a tour." He waved a hand for us to go and we rolled our eyes at him before thanking him. I turned on my heel waiting to follow Harry, yet again he seemed to want me to walk in front of him. He put a light hand on the small of my back and guided me through the sliding doors. We stepped into, what I guessed, was the living room area. The massive grey, brown-ish sofa in the corner was what I based that assumption on. A huge TV hung on the wall in front of it and in between them was a big and dark coffee table.
"So if you didn't already guess, this is the living room." Harry spoke after stopping as I took a few more steps to look around the room. There were no paintings on the walls, but it was one who was leaned against one of them. It wasn't really my type of art but it was the first sign of something more homey. I turned back at Harry who was watching me move around and I nodded in the direction of the painting.
"When is this going up?" I tried making small talks. He shook his head and walked up next to me again observing the painting with me.
"No, that is not mine. A friend left it here earlier, he will pick it up later." He said, running a hand through his hair.
"That makes sense." I nodded while putting my index finger on my lower lip before realising I still had my orange lipstick on.
"Why?" He furrowed his eyebrows at me and I met his squinted eyes.
"I wouldn't take you for the splashed paint kind of art guy." I shrugged and gently laughed and I had caused a smirk on his lips. His emerald eyes still squinted but now with more of an amusement behind them.
"I'll take that as a compliment." He stated but waited for my confirmation.
"It is." I chuckled back before realising I had just offended his friend, "not judging your friend though." And Harry laughed down at the floor. I observed his side profile. Those dimples digging deep in his cheeks as a big smile was spread over his face while laughing. He must know that he is attractive.
Harry walked up to the sliding glass doors along and shoved his feet in a pair of slippers next to it. There must have been at least seven pairs of slippers. Who needed seven pairs?
"Let me show you outside really quick." He dragged the door open and I followed behind him. He talked a bit about the garden, which he made sure to not call a garden. Harry explained that it was too boring to call it that. At the back there was a seating area, or even lounge area you could call it. I made my way to it and as I got closer I saw a pack of cigarettes on the table.
"Oh, a smoker are you?" I peered my eyes at him from over my shoulder and he took one of his hands out of his hoodie and pointed a finger at me shaking it.
"That I am not. My friends are though!" Harry enlightened me. Another attempt of making small talks about things in his house failing. I grabbed it and gave the empty package to him.
We moved back inside and made our way up his stairs. As Harry walked behind me I felt very self conscious of how I looked and how I moved. Was he staring? Did he look down to his steps? I didn't dare to look behind me and I basically rushed the last few steps and stood still waiting for him to catch up. He reached for the first door handle and stepped back for me to look.
"This is the first guest room." It wasn't much, it could have been a hotel room. Nothing personal, just simple colors, plain and boring. When I tried looking over at Harry again he had already moved on to the next door along the hallway.
"This is the second one." He pushed the door open and I had a deja-vu, this one identical to the previous one. When he again had already moved on to the next door waiting for me I couldn't help myself.
"Don't tell me you have three guest rooms?" I joked and he chuckled leaning against the door frame.
"This one is basically an office." He explained and I peeked my head through the door. This room was the first one to actually be filled with things. I walked up to the small whiteboard next to the desk and saw a ticket placed on it. It was the movie premiere for 'La la Land'.
"How was it?" I asked, pointing to the movie ticket. He walked in the room to look at what had caught my eyes.
"I don't know, that wasn't for me." Harry shrugged and I rolled my eyes, starting to feel like maybe I should just stop trying to make small talk. He saw it and cackled looking up to the ceiling.
"To be fair, Jeff uses this room more than me. It is basically his room." He looked around himself, as if it was his first time being in here as well. I nodded my head understanding. He exited the room and he showed me the guest bathroom before ending up outside the last door in the hallway. This could only be the master bedroom. He pressed his hand on the door sliding it open. I was met with another hotel room, but this one bigger and with a bit of a cosier lighting. Still it had no personality. A TV hung on the wall in front of the bed and on one side of it I saw the bathroom connected to it with a sliding door that was slightly opened. On the other side of the TV was another sliding door, this one not opened.
"Is that the secret door?" I challenged him with a raised brow.
"Yes." He simply answered, cheeky... One of the corners of his lip going up in a half smile. As Harry walked past me his shoulder brushed mine, while he kept the intense eye contact and that half smile. He opened the door and showed me a wardrobe. This was the first room that showed me a bit of Harry's belongings. There were too many clothes to actually see what everything was. A fashion lover like me would love to dig in all of his designer items, but I knew that would be inappropriate.
As we walked down the stairs again I made sure to walk behind him this time. His dark curls bounced with his steps and I tried my best not to smile like a fool at it. Just as we turned at the end of the stairs and made our way back to the kitchen and Grimmy I saw food and a water bowl on the floor.
"We have been through all of your house now but I didn't see a pet. That should have been the first thing you showed me." I pouted, pretending to be hurt. Harry turned all the way around standing in front of me.
"No, I don't have a pet. It is for my friends' pets." He looked down at the bowls and then down at me. His gaze followed my hand as I put a strand of hair behind my ear. I laughed at his repeating answer.
"Is this even your home?" I asked in a sarcastic and light tone, making the both of us genuinely laugh.
"I just don't like being alone I guess." A nervous laugh came from him. From walking around the house it was evident that Harry was a person that never was alone. The house didn't have a homey feeling because he never made it his home. He always shared the company with someone when he was here. Still, I had wondered beforehand of arriving whether Harry was an extrovert or an introvert. I had yet to make up my mind. He had confessed to being someone who didn't want to be alone. Why, I didn't know... Asking why felt like crossing a boundary, like even if I asked he didn't want to tell me. The need for having people around felt more of an issue for him. An extrovert wants people around and gains energy, but by the tone of his voice and him looking past my shoulder when he laughed I could tell that it was more than that. But Harry was a people person, that much I knew. So I did not want to draw too much of a conclusion if him not wanting to be alone was a deeper problem or a personality trait he had as an extrovert. Still he had this reserved side to him as an introvert usually has. From research I had done before his first solo appearance on The Breakfast Show I knew that that side of him was a challenge for journalists to crack.
"Harry, would you put on some music?" Grimmy proposed more so than asked. My curiosity spiked. Since the interview and his mum mentioning his music taste I had been wanting to know which artists and songs were on Harry Styles' playlist.
"Sure, but first I would like for you to give me your honest opinion on something." Harry jumped up from his corner of the sofa and walked up to turn on the speaker. Me and Grimmy looked at each other confused, and honestly a bit scared.
"Of course." Grimmy answered for the both of us. Harry had his focus deep in his phone and Grimmy gave me another scared look and shrugged. We waited for Harry to speak again but he seemed to me swiping through things on his phone. He walked back to the sofa, but sitting on the edge of his seat.
"I'm going to play you one of my songs on my new album." He looked between me and Grimmy and my heart fell to my stomach. I tried hiding it as he proceeded to talk, "I'll be playing it for the first time on SNL this Saturday. But I would like to hear your thoughts on it beforehand." And my eyes widened by the mention of SNL, that was big. Especially to be playing there so early on in his solo career. It would be his first solo performance, and to do it live and on SNL was bold.
"We would love to hear it!" Grimmy cheered in high pitch. Harry looked over from Grimmy to me, waiting for a confirmation from me. I was scared to listen to his song for the first time in front of him. I had liked Sign of the Times, but what if I didn't like this one? I was a bad liar and to be stuck in a room with just him and Grimmy I knew he would want me to speak my thoughts. Once more today I felt like I had no choice but to say yes, so I simply nodded at Harry. He nodded back, looked back in his phone and then back at us to make sure we were ready and listened.
Smooth music started playing all around us. The first few seconds none of us looked at each other. His voice came in and I very lightly started bobbing my head with the music. I felt a pair of eyes on me. My eyes locked with the green ones across the sofa, I gave him a small smile before looking away. Still I felt his gaze on me. I became even more aware of my reaction but I pretended I didn't notice his eyes on me and played it cool. Eventually they would move on to look at anything else but me. I tried focusing on the lyrics instead. It was desperate and sad, but it wasn't your typical sad melody. The lyrics were cryptic and beautifully written. Obviously it stood him close to heart, but it wasn't obvious what he was singing about. But it gave the song a genuine chance to connect with the audience as well. I had the feeling that many people could relate to it, I knew I could. He was out of hope and empty, and we have all been there at some point. I could see the live performance in front of me, and it was good. What other songs he had on the album I did not know, but this was a great song and choice for a live performance.
The song reached its end and when I looked up he was still studying me. Grimmy started clapping loudly and I joined him but not overdoing it like he was. Harry laughed and for the first time in a little over 3 minutes he switched focus from me.
"You've done it again Harry. So freaking good!" Grimmy complimented and threw a pillow at him. Harry raised a hand to protect himself, still laughing shyly. I laughed with them as Grimmy was being a kid.
"Bianca what do you think?" Harry turned to me and my eyes flickered between him and Grimmy for a second when all the attention suddenly was on me.
"If every song on the album is like that and Sign of the Times you have a killer album. It was beautiful, Harry." I leaned forward and tried to keep a steady lock with my eyes on him to show him that I truly meant it. If I was nervous listening to it, he must have been nervous playing it for us and I wanted nothing more than to reassure him and his talent. To have been trusted to listen to this beforehand was also something I didn't take for granted and I wanted him to somehow see that.
"No, all the others are crap." He joked and we all laughed. I was surprised that a timid side of him appeared, not really being able to take a compliment.
"Are you going to play that at The Graham Norton Show as well?" Grimmy asked Harry and he shook his head. I hadn't heard of Harry playing that show at the office which was weird since that was a part of the BBC family as well.
"I will just be playing Sign of the Times on that one." He explained and shared his ideas for that performance and what he had imagined for SNL.
After a couple of minutes of talking about it Grimmy then stood up and excused him for the restroom. The living room was left in silence as he left. I glanced over at Harry who squeezed his lower lip a bit.
"So when are you going to New York?" I tried to make small talk. Harry let out a big sigh before answering.
"Tomorrow actually." He chuckled out with the sigh, letting go of his lower lip.
"Are you nervous?" I giggled, resting my arm on top of the sofa. Harry nodded with a nervous laugh and looked down at his hands. I waited a second, observing him, before I continued.
"You don't start easy, but I'm sure you will do great on both that and The Graham Show." I attempted to calm his nerves, that I was sure came from being both excited and scared.
"You should come to that." He looked up at me. Just as Harry proposed that he mimicked my position and gave off more confidence again.
"Really?" I blurted out before thinking, eyebrows raised to the ceiling.
"Yes!" He laughed at my facial expression, "Grimmy will be there and it would be nice with familiar faces. And that gives you an excuse to ditch work." He winked at me.
"I happen to love my work" I teased back, "but I'll be there." I assured him, and at that his eyebrows raised but with a smile joined on his lips. A few moments of silence came back again when that conversation reached its end.
"Thank you." Harry slipped out of nowhere. Suddenly the mood felt deep and I liked the change of dynamic.
"For what?" A hint of optimism in my voice.
"For what you said before, it was nice." A genuine smile glued to his face, those freaking dimples putting on a show again.
"No problem." I offered a smile back, "It was the truth." I added quickly and didn't hesitate to keep our gaze locked. Those eyes that had made me nervous at first now giving me a place to feel seen as they showed how devoted he was in our conversation. I liked people that could connect.
"So!" Harry exclaimed with joy, really changing the deep mood we were in but still not breaking eye contact, "Since I've seen you drunk, you've been in my house, I've played you music before anyone else and you'll be seeing me play next week I would consider us friends." A mischievous smile on those pink lips.
"Yes..?" I hesitated, not that it wasn't true what he said, and not because I didn't see us as friends now. But because I was scared of what he was going to say next.
"And friends should have each other's numbers." He didn't ask, and I laughed out of relief. He stood up from the sofa and walked over to sit right next to me, so close that I could feel his perfume. Harry unlocked his phone and gave it to me. I put in my number and gave it back to him and watched him making me as one of his contacts. As he came to the name he added a simple bee emoji.
"What's that for?" I asked in confusion, wondering if that was a thing he did so if it somehow got stolen numbers wouldn't be leaked.
"Bee as in B." He explained like it was obvious, which only made me more confused and laughed.
"What are you talking about?" I turned my head to his side and those green eyes were closer than ever before. I heard Nick come back from down the hallway.
"Your text from Grimmy, /B. Don't people call you Bee?" He furrowed his eyebrow, and I shook my head. A small and pleased smile grew on him.
"Well, then that will be my special name for you." Harry took an extra moment to look at me before returning and saving me as a contact. I felt my cheeks heat as Grimmy entered the room, and I was happy he did so Harry didn't see my blush.
It was later in the evening and Grimmy was about to drive us both home. I grabbed my jacket and took a quick look in Harry's mirror in the hallway as they said goodbye to each other. Grimmy walked out to the car and I took his place, giving Harry a hug and a peck on the cheek.
"Good luck on SNL, you'll be great." I said as I took a step out of the door.
"I can't say thank you, it will jinx it." He smirked and tilted his head against the front door he was holding.
"Well don't say it then." I laughed back walking backwards, "Bye Harry." I said with a smile before turning to walk normally.
"Bye Bee." Harry waved before closing the door.
I jumped in the car feeling a smile of a fool on my face. The window had suddenly become the most interesting thing in the car as I tried to wash it off my face, not giving anything away to Grimmy.
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I'm sorry, this was a really long one. But I couldn't find myself to split it in two or take out parts.
I was thinking of making a playlist with all the songs that I put in this story, would you like that? /R