Louella
I smirked seeing how my parents walked off matapos nilang marinig na ako yung nagpupumilit kay Alliston. Tapos itong isa ay kuntodo taas din ng kilay sa mga ito kanina. Lalo lang tuloy nagalit ang mga ito. But I can't blame Alliston. She's the type of a person that gives people what they deserve. She's reflecting the behavior of other people towards her back to them.
Siguro ay hindi muna ako papasok sa opisina ng mga ilang linggo to make my parents realize that I am dead serious. If they'll be truly disowning me, it's okay. May sariling pera naman na ako. I can always start from scratch.
Sorry Dad. But you will soon accept the fact that I have already decided to be with Alli.
"You can move-in in our house, Ate Lou." Offer ni Aria na lumapit sakin at niyakap ako. "Magbihis ka muna. May mga damit ka naman na hindi galing sa pera nila Daddy. Take everything that you've bought. Sabay ka na samin ni Corinne pauwi."
Si Corinne naman ay nag-aalangan na nakatingin lang sakin. Marahil ay hindi din ito kumportable sakin dahil nga nasanay ito na ayaw dito ng mga magulang namin. Ang totoo, pumayag nga lang ang mga ito noon na magpakasal na silang dalawa ni Ariana dahil sinabi ko na kasal na din naman sila talaga at wala nang magagawa ang mga ito para hadlangan sila. The bargain that I had to feed them? The pact that I will be bringing them millions or even more. Tutal ayun lang naman ang mahalaga sa mga magulang namin. Money, name, and status.
"It's okay, Ate Lou." Dagdag pa ni Aria. "Maluwag naman yung bahay namin para sa amin ni Corinne."
I gave Corinne an apologetic look. I've ruined their baby's sip and see party. It could've gone smooth if I just let my parents rant. Pero ang hirap kasi pigilan yung inis sa mga ito lalo pa at grabe nila laitin at maliitin si Alliston. Tapos heto at makikitira pa ako sa kanila.
I'm too old for this. I should have had my own house at my age. Dapat pala ay mas inuna ko iyon at hindi kung ano-anong investment na nakapangalan sakin.
Sasabihin ko na sana na sa hotel na lang muna ako mag-i-stay hanggang sa makabili ako ng lilipatang bahay nang magsalita si Alliston.
"No." Napalingon ako nang biglang hinatak ni Alli yung kanang braso ko palayo kay Aria. "Pooper will stay with me. Malaki naman yung unit ni Railey. I'll just buy it from her and will give it to Lou pag nakabalik na ko ng Toorak. Magkano lang naman yon. Besides, Lou at her age, should be already investing in properties. Lakas ng loob magyaya ng kasal wala namang sariling bahay."
Nag-init yung pisngi ko sa sinabing iyon ni Alliston. Is that her way of saying that she's now considering marrying me?
"Lakas ng loob magreklamo, saksakan naman ng kaartehan. Akala mo um-oo agad. Gusto pa yata pinipilit sya." Bubulong-bulong na sagot ko din. Pero sigurado ako na within earshot nito iyon.
"Pumayag naman ako ah? Ikaw nga 'tong maarte."
Wow ha! Pumayag nga sya tapos gusto nya maghihiwalay din kami after a year or a two. If that's the case, why do we have to get married pa in the first place? We can just live in together. Check if it will work for us or not.
Only if I am stupid. Nah! Sigurado ako na hindi na ako makakahanap ng gaya nito. Alliston might not be aware of it yet, but we are really meant to be together. We're perfect. She looks good for me. And I look good for her.
"Ano na? Pumayag ka na kasi. Para matapos na."
Awtomatikong nagsalubong yung kilay ko. "If you think you can leave me behind, you should think twice. Sabi mo nga malapit na kong mawala sa kalendaryo. Kung mag-aaksaya pa ko ng isang taon na makikipaglaro lang sayo, baka nalagpasan na ko ng taong mas hihigit pa sayo."
"Kapal mo talaga, Pooper. You really should move in with me. Para malaman mo kung gaano ako kahirap pakisamahan."
"Try me!" Mayabang na sabi ko. Sigurado kasi ako na magbabago din ang isip nito. Alliston just need some convincing.
Umiling naman ito. Inabot nito yung pisngi ko na sigurado akong namumula dahil sa lakas ng sampal ni Daddy kanina.
"You can't stand to live with me, Pooper. You'll soon realize it. Move in with me and I assure you na ikaw mismo yung magsasabi na bumalik na ko ng Australia."
"Wrong Alli bear. You'll soon realize how great it will be living with me and I assure you na ikaw mismo yung magsasabi na ayaw mo ng bumalik ng Australia."
My heart skips a beat when Alliston gently touch my cheeks. She's caressing it so lightly. Her hand is so soft but her fingers are like candles that's sending fire in my skin.
It's crazy that the hands that's bruising me is also the hands that's healing the same bruises.
"Let's live together, Pooper? Check our compatibility? Since you want to prove your point and I want to prove mine, we should do something about it. Right? "
Why is she so agreeable right now? Sigurado ako na may pinaplano na naman ito. Ano na naman kayang laro yung naiisip nito?
"You like me." I only meant to tease her. Nothing else. Pero nang tumango ito ay hindi ko maiwasan ang hindi mapangiti.
"Yeah." Her smile is so sincere. So surreal. "More than I planned to. Guess it's fine because you like me too."
I bit my lower lip to suppress my wide smiles.
Kalma, Louella. That's just Alliston.
"I am sorry that you have to experienced this." Itinuro ako nito na halos wala ng damit. Pati yung pisngi ko na namumula.
Gosh! Should I be thankful that I was slapped so I can have an excuse for the heat that's creeping my cheeks? I'm too old to blush. Why Alliston is being so sweet na naman?
"I'm sorry too, Alli bear. You have to endured the drama and the harsh words."
Hindi nagsasalitang hinatak nya lang ako palayo. Patungo sa loob ng bahay namin na akala mo pagmamay-ari nya. I matched her silence as I try to catch up on her long strides. Ni hindi nga nito nilingon yung mga kaibigan nito na nalampasan namin. Basta seryoso lang ito na nakatingin sa daan hanggang sa makapasok kami sa loob ng bahay. Sunod na tinungo nito habang hatak pa din ako ay yung daan patungo sa kwarto ko.
Of course Alli is too familiar in my own place. Ilang beses na naman na kasi itong nakapunta dito. Bukod sa madalas naman talaga itong matulog dito mula ng maging kami ay talaga namang dito sila sa bahay tumatambay noon nila Ariana at Jen.
Pagkarating sa kwartong inookupa ko ay umupo lang ito sa gilid ng kama.
"Pack all your necessities. Just pack light. Yung mga wala o kulang, I'll just buy you. Don't bother bringing too many clothes."
I didn't try to hide my disappointment. I was expecting that there's more on why she requires such privacy. Pagliligpitin lang pala ako ng mga damit ko. Akala ko pa naman she was too moved at the drama kanina to even want to kiss me to make up for it.
"Bakit nakasimangot ka dyan?" Mataray na tanong pa nito. Tumayo ito at binuksan yung walk-in wardrobe ko. "Magbihis ka na nga. Hindi ka pa ba nilalamig ng lagay na yan?"
Walang imik na lumapit lang ako sa kanya. I let the tablecloth to drop on the floor. Pagkatapos ay niyakap ito. I even felt her freezing on her position as my hands wrapped on her waist. She's really so soft.
"Are you really thinking on marrying that guy, Alliston? Will you choose him too over me? Am I not enough? Haven't I made you feel enough?"
Isinandal ko yung pisngi ko sa ulo nya. I am starting to like this proximity. Ito naman ay humarap lang sakin. Tinitigan lang ako kung seryoso ba yung tanong ko.
That made me realized one thing. Only Alliston is taking her time to analyze the words that are coming out my mouth. It's as if she's always weighing the truth in every words, grasping the unspoken feelings that I can't tell straight. It's as if she's trying to understand me, to know me deeper. So she could make me feel better.
Maybe that's the reason why I like her. She's making me feel so important to even want to know me deeper.
"If I say yes, will it hurt you, Pooper?"
I slowly nod my head. "Yes." I answered truthfully. "What about you? Tell me your truth. No more lies, Alli bear. All of my questions are just answerable by yes or no."
Mas humigpit lang yung yakap ko dito nang tumingala ito. It looks like she's so exhausted. It looks like the well that's been refilling other people is being drained too. That's exactly how Alliston has been to other people. Kaya siguro naguguluhan ito ngayon. This might be the first time that someone is refilling her drained self.
"No. I don't want to marry him." I can feel her honesty too. Napakadali lang nitong basahin. Why people are so wary of her? She's the most honest person I've known. She's keeping her promises too.
"You don't?"
Umiling ito. "I loved him. Maybe I still do. But I can no longer trust him. He broke my trust. He made me feel so vulnerable. In a bad way. So no, Pooper. I won't choose him over you."
"But you won't choose me either?"
"Hindi ka naman kasi seryoso!" Naiinis na hinampas nito yung balikat ko. "Why would you marry someone you don't love, Pooper? Lahat ba talaga sayo nadadaan sa negosasyon? Pati paglagay sa tahimik, parang business proposal lang?"
I rolled my eyes. Why is she obsess in securing some lousy feelings na sabi nga nito ay nagfe-fade lang din sa huli? Why can't she accept the fact that we aren't lying at each other? What we have is something worth keeping. Unbreakable trust and undeniable huge respect. Trust at respect are the two essential things that can keep any relationship going. We're compatible in everything. Even on bed.
"I like you, ain't that enough?"
"You should love me, Pooper." Parang batang maktol pa nito na ikinapangiti ko. She's really into it. "We can't go on having an affair without feelings."
"Hey, I find you attractive. Too attractive that I can't keep my eyes off you." Depensa ko naman. "Ano bang walang feelings ang pinagsasabi mo dyan? Ikaw yata ang delusional, Alli bear. We are literally and figuratively attracted towards each other."
"Lust lang yon. Wag ka ngang feelingera!"
"Anong lust lang?!" Sinamaan ko sya ng tingin. All the while ba ako lang ang nag-iisip that what we have is something so special? Gagang 'to!
"Hoy, ikaw ang nagsabi non! Ilang ulit na kitang tinatanong if you like me romantically. Lagi mong sinasabi na hindi. Pero kung makahatak ka lagi, akala mo lagi kang tatakasan. Gusto mo pa lagi kang susundin agad. Weak ka naman!"
Napipilan naman ako. Bakit parang ako pa yung nagpapagulo ng relasyon naming dalawa? E sya nga itong mapilit dyan sa mga label label na yan. Demanding pa sya na dapat ganito ganyan.
"Alli bear, huwag mo akong binabaliktad ha! Lalo pa at dalawa lang tayo ngayon dito sa kwarto. I'd really love to flip you over so you would know who's the real queen between us. You like me more than I like you. Kaya siguro pinipilit mo ko na gustuhin kita romantically no?"
To my surprise, Alliston held my waist. Punong-puno ng kumpyansa sa sarili.
How I wish that arrogance in her eyes won't fade away. I can't stand to see her broken and hurting. Words are meant to build people up and not to bring them down. Rebuild yourself, Alli. I'll be waiting for you.
"I'm serious now, Pooper. Let's try this for real? I am still anxious in having a serious relationship. But I trust you. You won't break my trust right? Will you keep up with me? Can I not be scared that I will be leaving you behind? Can you not ask me to slow down? Can you support me as I conquer the things that I meant to be? Will you stay with me, Pooper?"
For the first time, I am seeing the real Alliston. A child that's been hiding in her tough demeanor. A scared one that's been seeking everyone's validation all this time. Right now, in front of me, Alliston is asking me that if I am to fall in love with her, I have to fall in love with all her complexities. And a boy nor a girl might be scared with it. But I am not just a girl. I'm a fully grown woman.
"Don't be scared, Alli bear." I kissed her forehead gently. "If I am to fall in love with you, I won't just be loving you because of what you have. I will be in love with everything that you don't have yet and will be most in love in everything that you are yet to become. I won't just be in love with the oh-so-flashy Alliston Parker. I'll be in love with my Alli bear. Don't stop being you. I won't stop being me. We're meant to be."
"Let's play a game, Pooper bear? I'll fall in love with you and you'll fall in love with me. Paunahan tayo? Matalo may parusa."
"And what is that?"
Ngumiti ng matamis si Alli. She's really so pretty.
"Matalo sya yung magdadala ng baby natin?"
"I love you, Alliston!" Mabilis na sabi ko. "Hah! Talo ka!" Ngumisi pa ako.
Ito naman ay natatawang hinampas yung balikat ko. "Seryoso kasi, gaga ka talaga! Bilisan mo ha? I'm on my way."
Urgh! No way! I won't accept defeat.
******